Chapter Text
The first time it happened, you did not know what came over you. It just... happened. And when you realized it, it was too late.
Natasha and you had been paired together for a mission. So far, so good. It happened several times before and everything had always gone smoothly. Well, except for that time when your hair was half-burnt, resulting in a weird haircut the next day - to Sam’s delight. Or that other one time when Natasha took a bullet on her side and you had to carry her back to the quinjet, she did not look you in the eye for a whole week after that. Anyway, like said before: so far, so good. Except that it was in Russia.
You were to infiltrate an old and abandoned Hydra base that worked with the Red Room years ago to retrieve all possible information - well, if there was any - before destroying it. The mission had been fairly simple for the both of you, pretty impressive success if you could humbly say so. But Russia being Russia, the weather quickly turned into a nightmare to say the least. And therefore postponing your return home at the comfy and warm Avengers Compound you lived in for the past few years. This place was heaven. And right now you were in goddamn hell. But a very, very, very cold one. Frozen hell.
Fortunately for the both of you, S.H.I.E.L.D. had safe houses pretty much all around the globe. Therefore, you found refuge in one of them, hoping it could help you not to freeze to death during the night.
Your teeth chattered as you scanned the area of the small kitchen for some kind of edible food while Natasha was busy trying to build a fire - you could hear her cursing in a low tone if you paid enough attention.
You closed the door of the last cupboard with a scoff, resting everything you found on the small wooden table. Which was not a lot: a packet of expired crackers, a bottle of vodka and a box of very old... pasta. At least that was what you thought it looked like, you were not sure.
You made a face at your pathetic loot, huffing and wrapping your arms around yourself to regain some kind of warmth that was apparently inexistant in this country. You left the small kitchen to look for Natasha, eyeing the empty place where she promised you flames would be shining bright when you would come back.
"So... we're screwed. Basically." You said as you stopped right behind her, looking down at her kneeling form with a small teasing smirk on your lips. At least you would not get bored if you could annoy her. You never got bored with her around anyway. But really... it should be the least of your concern right now. You should probably be more scared of freezing to death during the night than anything else.
The wind was blowing outside, you could practically feel it creeping up your bones. Your shivers and goosebumps turning insistent, your body reminding you you had to do something. And soon.
Natasha turned around with a huff at your words, her breath leaving a fog as she exhaled. She tried to smile back when she caught a glimpse of your amused smirk but her energy was too low and she did not want to pretend anymore, not with you.
"Yeah, definitely." She grumbled, throwing her gloves aside despite the blue hue her nails quickly turned into. "I'm freezing my ass here. And these damn matches aren't helping at all." She said, holding some - already burned - matches between her cold fingers. Her breath fogged up once again, her slightly purple lips twitching into a pout.
You could not help but chuckle at her pouty face, gently taking the poor matchbox away from her trembling hand before crouching down in front of the fireplace.
"They could have asked us to go to a warm country for once. Like Brazil or Spain. Steve and Sam literally went to Argentina last week." You mumbled as you tried to light a new match, your lips turning down at your clear failure. Your hands were shaking with the cold, your voice slightly trembling as you talked.
"Well, they didn't. And now you and I are stuck in this damn freezing country. You know the cold is getting bad when I'm cursing." Natasha grumbled before crossing her arms above her chest, trying to not feel anything. "We're screwed." She repeated in a defeated tone that did not recognize her, shoulders dropping.
You frowned at her sudden shift in demeanor. You always noticed she was more on edge than usual when you had a mission in Russia, most definitely because of her connection with the country, and yet you never remember seeing her like this. Looking this... vulnerable. Stressed out of her mind.
Your eyes left the fireplace to look up at her, scanning her face. You pursed your lips, standing up again. You handed her back the stupid and useless matchbox before leaving for the small bedroom in the corner of the safe house.
Your eyes scanned the room, the little layer of dust on each piece of furniture not going unnoticed, your nose suddenly deciding to make you sneeze until you saw blurred, a lonely tear pearling down your cheek. You huffed. This country was making you completely miserable. You looked at the two bedside tables, bare, no trace of civilization. Your eyes then landed on the bed, which could barely fit two people, you almost rolled your eyes at the thought of having to fight Natasha to let you have the couch. That was if you did not freeze to death by then. Your combat gear kept you as warm as a skiing jacket could. You wanted more. You needed more, your feet moving towards the pathetic wardrobe in the corner of the room.
You finally managed to find three blankets - thank God for whoever put them there -, rubbing the dust off them and coughing in the process before coming back to the living room where you noticed Natasha sitting in front of the fireplace, still determined to start a fire that seemed to never come. Stubborn as they come.
Without a word, you wrapped one of the blankets around her shoulders, dropping the other one on her lap before you wore yours like a cape.
For the first time since both of you knew each other, you saw Natasha looking very vulnerable, small in a way. Looking so cold and pale. Her lips were almost blue now from the freezing atmosphere and her eyes seemed haunted, seeing something that was not here.
She looked up to you, a tiny, soft, grateful smile appearing on her pale lips. She was just appreciative to have something that could keep her warm for the first time in hours she could almost cry on the spot.
Natasha grabbed the blanket tighter around her, curling her body and wrapping her arms tightly around herself, glaring at the box of matches that laid at her feet as if it personally offended her.
"So the rumors are false then..." You said as you sat down next to her, eyes glued on the empty fireplace, body twitching from time to time from the cold. Natasha grabbed the edge of the blanket on her lap, trying to cover your legs with hers, the gesture made you smile. What a softie. "... Russians can feel the cold." You teased gently, your lips curling into a smirk as you bumped your shoulder with hers.
"The rumors are lies, but the one about you being a pain in my ass? Absolutely true." She replied, with a smug smile at your offended face. Her voice had an exasperated tone to it, yet one full of teasing you always managed to get out of her when you were together.
You then let out a laugh at her words, feeling your chest warming up for the first time in hours. You clenched the blanket more tightly around your shoulders, the one laying on your extended legs doing a poor job at warming them up.
"That's so weird, I never heard of that one." You answered with a smile, turning your face to look back at her.
Natasha scrunched up her rosy nose, chuckling softly. It slightly took you off guard, this was so unusual. Usually, she was all tough and badass. Stoic and composed. Cheeky smirks and sharp eyes. Flirty answers and barely there touches. But today she was cold. So cold. And so vulnerable she wanted to get the hell out of here the fastest way possible.
"Maybe you have hearing issues." She replied sarcastically, turning her face towards you to stare into your eyes, hers full of trouble. "Because I'm quite sure everyone at the Compound agrees with me on that one." Natasha added with a smirk, pulling her blanket more tight around her shoulders even if it was impossible.
"Rude." You huffed, pursing your lips as you narrowed your eyes at her.
"I prefer being called truthful." She scoffed jokingly, her eyes twinkling lightly with mischief.
You two simply sat there for what felt like hours, bantering just to try to keep yourself warm. The cold had you both in its grasp, leaving you no way out, freezing you on the spot. Eventually, after some long minutes, the wind outside stopped completely, the silence sinking in the house. You two had some quiet, finally. At least that was better than the howling wind outside making you remember all too well the last horror movie Wanda made you watch with her earlier this week.
You smiled, amused, as you saw Natasha move to grab the matchbox again, watching her try lighting up the fire once more. Damn stubborn woman.
You bit your lower lip to keep your teeth from chattering too much before bringing your legs to your chest, wrapping your arms around them, trying everything to keep you warm. This was going to be a very, very long night.
"How are you holding up?" You asked after a few minutes of silence, not referring only to the cold but the mission itself, because you knew her, you knew that missions in Russia always took a toll on her. And you knew she knew you knew.
Natasha could not light up the fire. No matter how hard she tried and it made her crazy. She hated it here. Hated the wind freezing her muscles, hated the cold creeping up her back, hated the atmosphere, hated the bad memories.
She stayed quiet for a beat, blinking a few times to humidify her dry eyes. There was no point in lying to you. You knew her well.
"Not so good. Being here reminds me of... things I don't really want to remember." Natasha sighed. She really did not like to talk about the past, and she hated the fact that you managed to make her talk about it all the time with your soft eyes and a simple smile.
You were surprised by her rather blunt answer. There was no facade here. No walls where she was hiding behind. Just the harsh truth. You were taken aback for a few seconds. You licked your chapped lips, opening your arms to her, your legs falling back on the ground.
"Come here...?" You said, the tone coming out interrogative, not sure she would accept your offer.
Natasha frowned, her eyes searching yours for the joke. She was not used to showing that much vulnerability to someone beside Clint and she certainly did not know what the hell she was doing right now. Or what the hell you were doing.
But she knew you well. And you knew her too. So, without a single word, she shifted and went to you with the last remaining blanket wrapped around her shoulders. Once you welcomed her into your arms, she wrapped herself completely into them, laying her head on your collarbone, searching for some warmth.
You gently rubbed one hand up and down her back, resting your chin on her shoulder, the tip of your cold nose pressed against her warm neck.
"I'm sorry we're stuck here..." You whispered softly, voice muffled, wanting nothing more than to get her out of here, out of her head, out of the bad memories.
Natasha did not reply, at least not yet. She just wrapped herself tighter around you, as if seeking more of you. The way you rubbed her back was so... welcoming, so comforting that she even wondered for a split second why she did not do any of that sooner. Sure, she hugged you before. Sure, you wrapped your arms in a side hug when she came back from missions. But this was different. This was her sinking in your embrace, in your arms.
She exhaled slowly, resting her head comfortably against your neck. She really did not like this place, but she surely liked the one she just found.
"Yeah, me too... But at least I have you with me."
"My, my, who are you and what have you done to my Romanoff?" You teased with a smirk, gently squeezing her waist.
Natasha rolled her eyes with a small smile, but kept her comfortable position - to your surprise, not that you were complaining.
"Oh, shut up you... I'm just really cold. And that's my vulnerable moment of the year, so no joking allowed." She grumbled, frowning as she pressed the tip of her frozen nose on your jugular in retribution.
You chuckled, shaking your head in disbelief. You were about to wrap your arms more tightly around her waist when she suddenly pulled away, looking at you with wide eyes. Your eyebrows curled into a frown, your gaze questioning. Did you do something wrong...?
"Wait-" She exclaimed, as if she just had the best idea of the year. And perhaps she had. She kept one of her hands on your leg as she turned around to face the fireplace again, shrugging the blanket off one of her shoulders.
You could not see what she was doing with her back facing you but somehow a fire appeared in front of her a few seconds later. You let out a gasp, hips buckling as you moved closer, shoulder pressed against hers.
"Oh my God, you're a genius." You exclaimed with a wide smile. You could not remember being this happy to watch a fire. "How did you do it?" You asked, eyes glued on her glowing face.
Natasha chuckled at your expression and shook her head. Her face was shining with satisfaction since the moment the fire appeared.
"Just me being smart, as usual." She replied playfully, amused by your reaction. She loved teasing you, always enjoyed every single one of your reactions. "You should know better than to expect a spy to tell you her secrets." She added with a snarky smile and a wink but showed you the new widow bites gadget around her wrist Tony modified a few weeks ago.
"Fine. Don't tell me." You huffed, face turning towards the fire as huge flames started to appear, shining brightly in the room, glowing on both your faces, warmth spreading on your skin, the numbness in your limbs disappearing little by little.
Your smile never left your lips. You did not remember the last time you were so happy. All of that because of a fire. Okay, maybe you were being a little dramatic right now. But who cared, this mission had been hell. Just the weather really.
"God, thank you, Nat." You exclaimed happily, squeezing her shoulder excitedly and pressing a kiss on her temple before you knew it. It was gone before you could even register what you did though, your eyes glued back on the fireplace as you stayed as still as you could, hoping she would not kill you for what you just spontaneously did. Your cheeks turned a slight pink, embarrassed by your action, hoping the fire in front of you would be enough of an excuse for their color. Admittedly, it was an innocent kiss. Hell, Wanda kissed your cheek from time to time and she was your best friend. But with Natasha... you were not sure of anything. She was always keeping you on your toes, you never knew what to expect.
The redhead completely froze for a second, not expecting... that. She frowned, her cheeks turning a light pink hue, because of the fire - obviously. Why the hell did her heart literally skip a beat in her chest, a slight warmth and tingly sensation spreading through her. She gulped down as her brain took the moment to process what you just did, the kiss still lingering on her skin, a barely there touch.
Natasha's eyes flickered towards your unmoving form, somehow entranced by the sight of the fire in front of you. She looked away, unsure what to do. Should she even do something? Her cheeks were still pink when she finally opened her mouth - she could feel it, and hated it.
"No problem."
Somehow, that was all she could mumble.