Chapter Text
Ever since he was a child, he had always known about the tale. The curse, some Lans would mutter under their breath, remembering the story.
Lan Zhan did not have any particular reaction after hearing it other than acceptance. The sky was blue, the grass was green, the Lans only loved once and knew their soulmate at first glance. Starting from Lan An and his sacrifice to leave ascetic life for love, to Lan Yi and her steadfast devotion to her beloved, to Qingheng-jun and his catastrophic marriage, to the famed Hanguang-jun and the tragic love story involving years of grief and necromancy and bunnies—no one truly knew how that one went, but all agreed it was tragic. Personally, Lan Zhan found him relatable. Lan Zhan had accepted the fact that his entire clan consisted of hopeless romantics with a penchant for falling head over heels in love five minutes into meeting their soulmate, although he was not sure how it would apply to him.
He had believed the tale—which was ironic, seeing that he had witnessed with his very own eyes how disastrous a marriage could be through his parents’ fallout. Lan Zhan did not see himself as a romantic, nor did he expect himself to be once he found the other half of his soul. He often wondered what kind of person would be unlucky enough to be saddled with such an unfeeling man, who only cared about rules and living up to his family’s expectations. He confided to his brother about this once, when he was 13—a mortifying experience, but necessary—and Lan Huan patted his shoulder and reassured him that whoever that person was, they would be very lucky to have his pure heart. Lan Zhan thought Lan Huan would grow up to be a good diplomat. A lawyer, even, if he was brave enough.
Afterwards, Lan Zhan lived his life the way it was always meant to be. He continued his education at his family’s private boarding school, got excellent grades, performed award-winning guqin shows, became the head of the disciplinary unit, played a few sports, made a few acquaintances, and graduated as the valedictorian. He got accepted to the best university and began studying music professionally. He was an upstanding citizen.
When Lan Zhan woke up that day, he did not realize that today was going to be that day. The day the curse finally got to him.
Throughout his teenage years, Lan Zhan saw his peers fumbling over relationships. He could never relate. He had no desire to join his classmates in making a fool of themselves by trying to woo their crush. Even though he had accepted the fact that his time to be a fool in love would come eventually, he wanted to wait until the curse hit him in the face instead of pursuing it.
Today was the day he got hit by the curse in the face.
A hit sounded too light. Lan Zhan got beaten black and blue and then left on the side of the street for death to come.
All because of a smile.
To be fair, it was a beautiful smile. Mesmerizing. Heavenly, even. Too bad it was owned by the most annoying person he had ever encountered, who seemed unable to keep his mouth shut despite the librarian threatening him with expulsion every five minutes. Lan Zhan disliked him on sight. Lan Zhan would like to silence him with his own mouth. Wei Ying, as he introduced himself when he arrived fifteen minutes after Lan Zhan to a secluded area of the campus library, was noisy and distracting and smuggled a piece of spicy meat bun and he just could not stop talking. Lan Zhan had at least six options of baby names in mind.
“I never see you around here, mysterious gege,” Wei Ying said, scribbling on his notes with one hand, twirling the end of his ponytail with another. There were plenty of vacant tables, yet Wei Ying chose to sit in front of the only other person in the room. Lan Zhan took a deep, heavy breath, or else he would do something he might regret, like pulling Wei Ying’s hair. “I visit this library almost every day!”
“The other library is closed for construction,” he replied, voice low to hide the tremble. It was true that he never visited this library, preferring to study at the one near the music department or at home. Since that library was closed and he had another class in two hours, he chose to wander around until he came across the library near the engineering faculty. Wei Ying dropped his pen and focused his attention on Lan Zhan. Lan Zhan could feel cold sweat dripping down his back. “My name is Lan Zhan. Use it.”
Wei Ying grinned. “Well, I’m glad you decided to visit today, Lan-gege!”
Lan Zhan might or might not frown a bit. Lan-gege was how his brother’s many admirers addressed him. Lan Zhan did not know how to explain why he disliked being called as such without revealing the fact that he apparently had an unhealthy amount of illogical jealousy. In the end, all he managed was a simple: “I have an older brother.”
Wei Ying, somehow, understood what he was trying to say. “Lan-er-gege, then?”
Lan Zhan tried and failed to hide the hitch in his breath. “Are we not the same age?”
“I skipped a grade,” Wei Ying answered, cheerfully, because he was cute and smart and after Lan Zhan’s heart. Lan Zhan did not know how to bring up to him that he also skipped a grade, so they were most likely the same age anyway, but hearing Wei Ying calling him gege was not something Lan Zhan would pass on. He was not dumb. He tried his best to continue reading the same paragraph over and over instead of staring at the collarbone peeking over the most atrocious red jumper known to mankind.
“I’m in my second year here,” Wei Ying continued. “So are you, judging by your books. You also wrote your semester on the book cover! I thought no one labelled their books anymore.”
“Why not?”
Wei Ying took a moment to think. “Honestly, I don’t know. Strange, isn’t it?”
He was very strange. This encounter was very strange. Lan Zhan was about to have heart palpitations every time Wei Ying threw a smile his way. Why was he so smiley? Was it even possible to smile all the time? Did his lips ever get tired? Lan Zhan would like to examine those lips closer. For science.
Wei Ying continued scribbling on his notes, a tiny scratch-scratch sound echoing in the silent room. Whatever Wei Ying was doing, Lan Zhan did not know, but he was glad for the momentary chance to take a breather. This strange, loud, beautiful man with his pretty red bow on his pretty hair was not good for his health.
A few minutes of silence. Lan Zhan managed to tame his pathetic heart. From the corner of his eyes, Lan Zhan could see him glancing at his watch before gathering his notes. A pang of disappointment ran hot in his veins.
“I must go back to the dorm soon, Lan Zhan,” it might just be his imagination, but Lan Zhan could sense a hint of regret in his tone. His heartbeat picked up. “Jiang Cheng must be waiting for me already. His patience is as thin as a piece of drenched tissue. We have a plan to visit our sister this evening! She gave birth a month ago and I miss her.”
Lan Zhan tried his best to remain calm and collected, glancing up slowly from his notes to look Wei Ying in the eyes. There it was, still there, that beautiful smile. Wei Ying slid a piece of paper his way before picking up the rest of his stuff.
For a few moments, Lan Zhan swore his heart stopped beating. Staring at him was his own face, drawn in his likeness, artistic and magnificent. For a few moments, Lan Zhan wondered, do I really look like that? Because Wei Ying drew him with an air of serenity so unlike how he had been feeling for the past hour. For a few moments, there was silence, until Wei Ying’s lovely voice broke it once more, as it had done so countless times. Lan Zhan looked up just in time to catch a tiny curve of the corners of Wei Ying’s lips, almost shy compared to his other smiles, accompanied by a faint blush on his smooth cheeks.
“Let’s meet again later, Lan Zhan!”
All Lan Zhan managed to do was nod. If he opened his mouth now, gods knew what kind of sounds he would be making.
Wei Ying was gone in a flurry of movements and waving hands. Lan Zhan picked up the paper carefully, afraid it might disintegrate in his grasp. Instinctively, he flipped the paper.
There, on one corner, was a string of numbers.
Text me gege!! I really like you! :>
This time, he could not fight a low groan from stumbling past his lips.
He was officially cursed.
.
.
In his defense, Wei Ying asked to send him a text. What could Lan Zhan possibly do, deny him?
After dinner, he sat down at his desk with phone in hand. He had been agonizing over this the entire evening. Lan Huan definitely noticed something was wrong with his normally stoic little brother. He sent him a look and a knowing smile. Lan Zhan was glad Uncle asked his brother to stay after dinner to discuss sect matters.
Wei Ying, Lan Zhan typed in, after twenty minutes of overthinking. This is Lan Zhan.
lan zhan!! He could almost hear the cheerful lilt of Wei Ying’s voice. i’ve been waiting for ur text all day!!
I’ve been waiting for you my whole life was the reply Lan Zhan wanted to type, but that would be unhinged. Instead, he said, Are you still at your sister’s house?
yes!! here here look at my baby nephew!! he’s wrinkly
Wei Ying sent him a picture of himself, smiling sweetly at the camera, squishing his cheek atop of the head of a wrinkly baby. Lan Zhan would like to be a wrinkly baby.
He is wrinkly, he texted back, because he had never been an astute conversationalist. He was also still dumbstruck by Wei Ying’s beauty.
For some reason, his inability to hold a conversation did not deter Wei Ying. They texted back and forth about various topics Lan Zhan had never even thought about before, ranging from urban legends about their campus to do u know the milky way smells like raspberries??
Eventually, Lan Zhan had to cut their conversation short due to his bedtime. Wei Ying was amused. one day i’m gonna make u stay WAY past ur bedtime!!
Wei Ying probably meant he was going to convince Lan Zhan to stay up and continue talking. Lan Zhan, with his head deep in the gutter, had a few more interesting ideas to stay up with Wei Ying. In the end, his body decided to shut down for the day and he bid Wei Ying farewell with a short Good night, Wei Ying.
Before turning off his phone, he saw Wei Ying’s last reply.
good night!! dream of me!! ♡︎
He turned off his phone, climbed his bed, and smashed his face on the pillow so hard his nose started throbbing afterwards.
Lan Zhan dreamed of him that night. He had a feeling Wei Ying would visit his dreams often.
.
.
“How do you approach someone?”
Lan Huan, ever the embarrassing older brother, hid a smile behind his cup. Lan Zhan was starting to regret their bi-weekly chat over tea. “Tell me more about them, didi.”
It had been three weeks since their first meeting in the library. Wei Ying texted him every day, at random hours, about nothing and everything. They met two more times, one for lunch and one for another study session in the library, which led to another lunch in which Wei Ying tried to shove a spoonful of spicy meatball soup into his mouth. He apologized after seeing Lan Zhan’s watery eyes and laughed and laughed and laughed.
“He is,” a pause, “loud.”
A knowing smile. “And?”
“He never stops talking.”
“Uh-huh.”
“He,” Lan Zhan hated talking, and he hated how he could not find the right words to describe how Wei Ying was. “Does not bother me. He does not mind my silence.”
Lan Zhan could feel the heat in his ears seeing the open look of happiness on his brother’s face. “He sounds wonderful, A-Zhan.”
“He is,” Lan Zhan sighed. Wei Ying was indeed wonderful. “I would like to court him.”
Perhaps the word court sounded too outdated, but Lan Zhan was a traditional man at heart. He had always known that the only way he loved would be all-consuming. He held no judgement for others who preferred to fool around before settling down, but he had long decided that kind of lifestyle was unsuitable for him. Lan Huan had jokingly said that Lan Zhan would thrive living in the past, when courting with marriage as the end goal was the norm, and had tried to dissuade him from being too rigid. It was easy for Lan Huan to blend with society, considering he was quite the social butterfly, and he often worried for his little brother for having no social life.
Lan Zhan had thought so too, for quite some time. He should loosen up, try to meet new people, experience new things. After meeting Wei Ying, this desire to be more open and adventurous was lit anew. It was a hardship, but if it would make Wei Ying stay, he could swallow the discomfort and toughen up.
.
.
Last Friday, Wei Ying told him about a party his friend was throwing and asked him to come. A rejection was on the tip of his tongue before he realized this could be an opportunity to get to know Wei Ying better. Wei Ying loved interacting with people, parties, and alcohol. Before he knew it, Lan Zhan gave him a curt nod.
Turned out the party was hosted by Nie Huaisang—a childhood friend who spilled hot chocolate all over 7 year old Lan Zhan’s favorite white shirt—and his roommate Mo Xuanyu—a boy who drunkenly hit on him on a random Tuesday a few weeks ago, got rightfully rejected, sobbed violently, and apologized profusely to him the next day saying he had no recollection of what happened, but a friend recorded the whole confession and showed him. A horrifying experience for everyone involved.
Needless to say, Lan Zhan detested every second of that party. He made an effort to not let any of his distaste shown, afraid of ruining Wei Ying’s spirit. Wei Ying noticed his discomfort anyway.
“Lan Zhan,” he said, a slight pout on his face. “I should’ve known you’d be uncomfortable. I’m sorry for dragging you to this. I’ll make it up to you, I swear!”
Still determined to let Wei Ying know he could do no wrong, Lan Zhan refused to go home early. “It is alright. Please enjoy the party, Wei Ying. I will be here.”
“I can’t let you stay here just sipping that sad soda!” Wei Ying argued. “Come on, let’s go visit that tofu stall I told you this morning.”
“The party is still ongoing,” Lan Zhan pointed at a few people doing gods-know-what in the balcony. “You should join the… festivities. Play a few games.”
“But you’re here,” Wei Ying replied. “How could I let my Lan Zhan stand here all alone? I want to play with you, gege!”
To be honest, Lan Zhan heard nothing after my Lan Zhan and he did not know how they ended up eating fried tofu near midnight instead of partying. His body went on an autopilot after Wei Ying grabbed his hand to lead him out. Perhaps it was the lack of sleep from staying up past his bedtime. Perhaps it was love.
After eating an unhealthy amount of midnight snacks, Lan Zhan insisted on escorting Wei Ying back to his dorm. Right on the doorstep of the building, Wei Ying looked him in the eyes and said, “Promise me something, Lan Zhan.”
“Hm.”
“Next time, if I drag you to do something you don’t want, you must tell me, okay?”
Lan Zhan stared at him for a second too long. “Do you still feel guilty for asking me to go to the party?”
“Well, yes,” Lan Zhan could sense the beginning of a rant. “But! It’s not just about the party. I’ve realized that our friendship is based on me bothering you and pushing your boundaries, but I want to change that!”
“You do not bother me,” Lan Zhan frowned. “I enjoy spending time with you.”
Wei Ying gaped, for reasons Lan Zhan could not fathom. Surely he knew how much Lan Zhan cherished their time together, right?
“Huh. Really? Even when I dragged you against your will?”
Lan Zhan nodded. “You did not drag me. I accepted your invitation.”
He overestimated his tolerance for parties, true, but it was not Wei Ying’s fault. He continued. “I… have a few shortcomings when it comes to socializing. Nonetheless, I am glad Wei Ying invited me.”
Wei Ying let out a sound close to a whine and hid his face in his palms. Lan Zhan did not know what to do with himself.
In the end, Wei Ying took a step closer to him and looked up. Their height difference was not much, although Lan Zhan was broader and more muscular. Lan Zhan had no idea how Wei Ying managed to look small and cute all the time—he probably looked normal-sized to others, taller than average, even. It was just Lan Zhan and his rose-tinted glasses. Lan Zhan gulped.
“Lan-er-gege,” he said, voice lacking his usual enthusiasm, replaced by something softer. “You’re really great. I really like you.”
Wei Ying gave him a quick hug. Lan Zhan got a mouthful of Wei Ying’s hair, red ribbon tickling the tip of his nose. It was the quickest and longest three seconds of Lan Zhan’s life.
In the end, Wei Ying let go and quickly said his goodbye. Lan Zhan stayed rooted on his spot for a minute, turned around, and resisted the urge to sprint.
.
.
“Oh, didi,” Lan Huan said, after listening to his story. “You’re in love.”
“I am,” there was no use denying it. “Do you think it is too fast?”
“If it’s any other person, I would say yes,” Lan Huan replied, simply. “But we’re Lans.”
No need for further explanation. They both know what it entailed. Lan Huan, too, was cursed the moment he met Nie Mingjue when they were 8.
Lan Huan was basically vibrating on his seat. “What are you going to do next, A-Zhan?”
“I am going to court him.”
“Yes, we’ve established that. How?”
“That is why I am consulting you. How did it go between you and Mingjue-ge?”
“We’ve known each other for so long,” Lan Huan reminisced. “It happened naturally. I didn’t experience any grand revelation, perhaps because we met when we were children. I know he’s always been special to me.”
Lan Zhan had always admired his brother’s smooth-sailing love tale. He had been expecting a wedding for a few years already, but it seemed like his brother had a few plans before marriage. He used to joke that Lan Zhan would probably marry first. Lan Zhan scoffed when he first heard that—now he prayed for it to be true. He needed to marry Wei Ying fast or else he might not survive the winter.
Lan Huan, still eagerly sipping his tea, waited for Lan Zhan to respond. Lan Zhan had no response except, “How do I convince him to like me back?”
Lan Huan gave him a cryptic smile. He was not sure how to interpret it. “I don’t think you need to do a lot of convincing, A-Zhan.”
“…what do you mean?”
“Based on your stories, I believe he might have some feelings for you already.”
“I think you are delusional, ge.”
“I think not,” Lan Huan replied, sagely. “Besides, who wouldn’t like you?”
Lan Zhan deadpanned. “A lot of people.”
“A-Zhan,” Lan Huan scooted closer to the edge of his seat. Lan Zhan leaned back. “Confidence is important! We must believe in it strongly to manifest it.”
Lan Zhan thought his brother must have spent too much time watching motivational videos. “What do you suggest I should do?”
“The first step is showing how much you care,” he said earnestly. “Be more open at showing your feelings. Perhaps try doing something nice?”
Lan Zhan was always nice towards Wei Ying. Sure, Wei Ying said he was mean all the time, but he was not being mean, and Wei Ying’s protests were just joking. Sometimes Lan Zhan felt the desire to show Wei Ying how mean he could truly be—but that was a can of worms he was not ready to open yet. “Such as?”
“How about treating him to a nice meal?”
“I always pay whenever we go out.”
“Buying him something he’d like? An accessory, perhaps?”
“Bought a new hair tie and earrings last week.”
“A favor, then! Holding the door open or carrying his belongings?”
“Already doing it.”
Lan Huan was trying his best not to laugh. Lan Zhan did not find the situation amusing. “Then… how about articulating your intention more clearly?”
“How?” Lan Zhan was confused. He did not think confessing his feelings was a wise decision. It felt too soon—for Wei Ying, of course. Lan Zhan thought they should have gotten married yesterday.
“From what you’ve said, I’m assuming you have no problem showing him your feelings through actions,” Lan Zhan nodded. “Seeing that confessing seems too soon, maybe start by saying what’s in your mind whenever you’re together?”
Lan Zhan winced. There was not a single coherent thought in his mind whenever Wei Ying was near. “Ge, I do not think that is wise.”
Lan Huan could not hold back a chuckle. “I don’t mean spilling everything you’re thinking. Perhaps start by complimenting him outwardly instead of just thinking it in your mind?”
Lan Zhan hummed. That seemed reasonable. He could do that.
.
.
“Wei Ying, you look lovely today.”
Wei Ying took a sharp breath, choked on a boba pearl, and started coughing his lungs out. Lan Zhan patted his back worriedly and offered his bottle of water.
“Lan Zhan!” Wei Ying almost shouted, face scrunched in embarrassment. Lan Zhan did not know why. Did he say something wrong to warrant such a reaction? “You can’t just say that!”
“…why not?”
Wei Ying sputtered. “Ugh, Lan Zhan! This world is lucky you don’t talk much! Imagine how many casualties you would cause daily if you say such nice things to everyone!”
“I would not say it to everyone,” Lan Zhan calmly replied. “Only Wei Ying. The hair clip looks good on you.”
A few days ago, Wei Ying dragged him into a fundraising festival held by one of the faculties. Lan Zhan bought him a bunch of trinkets, one of them being a set of simple but cute bunny hair clips in various colors. Wei Ying was currently wearing a white bunny clip, keeping his bangs tidy to one side.
Lan Zhan lightly tapped the hair clip, admiring the contrast to Wei Ying’s jet-black hair. His hair was slightly wavy with a subtle curl at the end and impossibly thick. Lan Zhan loved the feeling of it gliding between his fingers.
Wei Ying was still saying a bunch of nonsense, probably to hide how confused he was after receiving the compliment out of the blue. Lan Zhan made a note to himself to compliment him more often. In the end, he mumbled, “You should give me a warning before saying such things, next time.”
“Consider this a warning, then.”
Wei Ying hastened his steps, staring at him with a wary look, an adorable pout on his face. “No, no! Not yet! I’m not ready! You stay right there, gege!”
Lan Zhan vowed to speak his mind more often.
.
.
“Wei Ying. Warning.”
“…ok. Shoot.”
“This hairstyle suits you. Did you do it yourself?”
A blush. Hand twirling the end of his hair. “Um. Yes. Yanli-jiejie sent me a bunch of tutorials to try. Does it look okay?”
Wei Ying’s hair was pulled into a messy but tasteful braid, secured by a bright red ribbon adorned with a flower pattern. Lan Zhan bought that ribbon two days ago.
“Pretty.”
Wei Ying tried his best to take the compliment in stride and failed miserably. Lan Zhan felt his heart soar.
.
.
“Warning.”
“No.”
“…Wei Ying.”
“No—just. No. Lan Zhan, my heart can’t take it. Whatever you’re trying to do with all these compliments, it works, okay? So. You can sto—AAH! Gege! Don’t pout, that’s cheating! What is the meaning of this?! I’m under attack! Stop attacking me!”
For the record, Lan Zhan absolutely did not pout. He was not even sure he was capable of doing that. Anyone who saw him would agree—except for Wei Ying, apparently, who always had a penchant of seeing things. “I am not attacking you.”
Wei Ying shouted, indignant. “Yes, you are!”
“All I wanted to say is how smart you are for excelling in the class,” Lan Zhan held both of Wei Ying’s hands before he managed to close his ears. “Plenty of people have called you smart and you accepted it with no fuss. Why can’t I say it, too?”
“Because it’s different, gege!” Wei Ying wailed. “It’s too sincere, coming from you! Also, I really like you, so of course it’s different!”
“It is sincere. Wei Ying is smart and admirable.”
“LAN ZHAN!”
.
.
Lan Huan put down his cup of tea.
“Interesting.”
“Hm.”
Today was another session of love consultation, as Lan Huan had named it. Lan Zhan reported his findings from that week, mainly of his success at 1) verbalizing his compliments, and 2) finding out that Wei Ying liked the compliments. Lan Huan gave him a big, proud smile.
“Keep this up and we can go on a double-date in no time,” said Lan Huan. Lan Zhan knew his brother had already prepared the itineraries. “What are you planning to do next?”
“I need to make my intention clear,” Lan Zhan replied. “We are… close, but he may misunderstand the nature of my feelings. I also still need to get him to like me back.”
Lan Zhan was pleased with the development of their relationship. They met whenever they were free, be it after classes or even later at night. They ate lunch together quite often and chatted constantly. Wei Ying had been a constant presence in his life for almost four months. He was his best friend.
Lan Zhan cherished his friendship with Wei Ying, but he was a purposeful man. His desire to change the nature of their relationship into a romantic one remained strong. He was not quite sure at first if pursuing this would be a good idea. He was not sure if Wei Ying would reciprocate. What if confessing would lead to the end of their relationship? Lan Zhan knew it would not end disastrously—Wei Ying was kind, he would let him down gently if rejection was Lan Zhan’s fate—but the easy companionship and comfort would undoubtedly be impacted.
It was only after the first month of getting acquainted with him, weeks of trying to analyze Wei Ying’s mannerisms around him, that Lan Zhan gained a little bit of faith that Wei Ying genuinely liked him as a friend. He was unsure at first. How did someone so vibrant like Wei Ying enjoy spending time with someone as bland as him? Lan Zhan was not an interesting person. He was conscious enough to know that he was considered good-looking, but most people could not stand his personality. Some might be daring enough to approach him, either lured by his looks or his family’s generational wealth, but one glare from him was enough to deter their interest.
Wei Ying was different.
Wei Ying acted out simply to get his attention. Tugging his hand, clothes, or whatever he could reach. He would talk and talk and talk and whine if Lan Zhan did not immediately pay attention to him. He texted him random things throughout the day until Lan Zhan’s phone never stopped buzzing. Lan Zhan asked him once, “Are you not bothered by my silence?”
Wei Ying tilted his head, confused. “Why would I? Gege always listens to me.”
Wei Ying had cemented his presence in Lan Zhan’s life.
Other than the heightened intensity of their interaction, there was this one thing that pretty much convinced Lan Zhan that perhaps he might have a chance to convince Wei Ying to like him romantically—the smile.
Whenever they agreed to meet, Lan Zhan would be greeted with an excited yell of his name. Wei Ying would run, despite Lan Zhan’s disapproval, and beamed at him with his signature grin. He would give Lan Zhan a quick hug—Lan Zhan, of course, would get a mini heart attack, but he managed to give an answering nod and a smile.
And then, after the grin, came the smile.
It was a subtle change at first. He would hide his pearly white teeth and sigh—then a softer smile would bloom, almost shy in nature. Sometimes Wei Ying would avert his eyes for a few seconds, as if hiding from Lan Zhan’s gaze, before looking up and gracing Lan Zhan with the sight of his joy once again.
It was such a sincere, genuine smile. Wei Ying liked being around him. He enjoyed his presence. Lan Zhan died and got resurrected every time.
Lan Huan cleared his throat, waking Lan Zhan up from his daydream.
“Perhaps you can try a more… forward approach.”
“Such as?”
Lan Huan’s serene smile turned a bit cheeky. “How do you feel about physical touch, didi?”
.
.
“Lan Zhan!”
A small smile graced his lips. Wei Ying walked hurriedly towards him, despite no reason to do so. Lan Zhan was not going anywhere without Wei Ying.
They agreed to visit a café half an hour away from their campus. Wen Ning, a close friend of Wei Ying, recommended the place and swore their pastries were one of the best in town. Lan Zhan, naturally, agreed to accompany him.
Wei Ying looked adorable today, with his maroon sweater and long overcoat. Lan Zhan had reminded him to dress warmly, as the weather had gotten colder. Rather than tying his luscious hair up as usual, Wei Ying opted to let it fall free, curling against his back and waist. Lan Zhan felt the silky softness of his hair when he gently put his hands around him, gladly welcoming Wei Ying as he leapt into his arms.
After Wei Ying hugged him that night, after Nie Huaisang’s party, something had shifted between them. Wei Ying had always been open with his gestures, never hiding away from anything. Yet somehow, Lan Zhan could sense something undeniably different from the way Wei Ying treated him. Something more fragile yet precious, seeping through every skittish glance and delicate touch.
Wei Ying’s hugs never lasted long. Lan Zhan missed his warmth the moment they parted.
Wei Ying gave him the smile, sparkling eyes turned into half-crescent. “How was your class, gege?”
“Boring,” Lan Zhan replied. He had told Wei Ying about his distaste for that one particular class. “How was yours?”
“Insane! I’m glad it’s over,” Wei Ying furrowed his brows, before speaking a mile a minute. “I told you about this week’s assignment, right? And how that damn Wen Chao just refused to do his part, no matter how many times I texted and called?! I even cornered him on his way to whatever clubs or bars he’s going two days ago, but he thought I was picking a fight and ran away after spouting a bunch of nonsense! Well, I told Ling-laoshi about him to switch partner and she said okay, but I have to find someone to switch with, but no one wants to work with—”
If it was anyone other than Wei Ying, Lan Zhan would be irritated at having to listen to such a rapid ramble. However, the sight of his adorable Wei Ying, pouting and puffing his cheeks, tugged at his heartstring. Lan Zhan could not stop staring at a few strands of hair sticking up from Wei Ying’s bangs. Wei Ying must have run all the way from his class to the bus stop where Lan Zhan was waiting, hair mussed up and cheeks pink. He was still slightly out of breath, both from running and the cold. Before he realized, his hand had reached out to tuck a few stray hairs behind Wei Ying’s ear.
Curiously, Wei Ying stopped talking mid-sentence. His eyes widened, lips parted as he took a sharp inhale of breath. For a moment, Lan Zhan was left speechless by the sight of Wei Ying’s rapidly flushing cheeks, before he realized he had not responded to Wei Ying’s previous rant.
“Wen Chao is a lost cause. You may have to do the task alone, but I am sure you will finish it splendidly. Wei Ying is clever.”
“Uh, um, well, if gege says so, then it must be true!” Wei Ying stammered, which was a first. “I’ll do it alone and put only my name on the paper.”
“Hm.”
“I’ll give that bastard a lesson! Watch me present the entire paper alone!”
“Yes, he will regret not cooperating with Wei Ying.”
Lan Zhan’s answers must be amusing enough because Wei Ying started giggling. Lan Zhan’s hand, still suspended in the air, was back on Wei Ying’s hair, mindlessly carding through. Wei Ying took a step closer.
“I’ll laugh at his face when Ling-laoshi inevitably fails him! He’ll have to take this class next semester. Serves him right!”
“True. As he deserves.”
Wei Ying’s giggles turned into a full-blown laugh. His body swayed slightly, prompting him to put both hands on Lan Zhan’s chest for balance. Lan Zhan thanked all the gods and ancestors for blessing him with this moment.
“Maybe he’ll try to pick a fight with me again, more seriously, even! Should I entertain him and throw a punch or two?”
Lan Zhan could not resist a short laugh. It was more of a huff, but Wei Ying’s eyes widened in wonder. Lan Zhan placed his hand on Wei Ying’s cheek, feeling the warmth of his skin.
Wei Ying nuzzled sweetly into his palm.
Lan Zhan’s brain was filled with a bunch of statics strung together to spell Wei Ying’s name. He had to recite a few rules in his head to pull himself together. After composing himself, he replied, “If he dares to pick a fight with you, you should call me.”
Wei Ying grinned, “You want to teach him a lesson too?”
“No. I will be there to cheer you on as moral support and back up.”
Hands still lightly gripping Lan Zhan’s cashmere sweater, Wei Ying laughed once more. Lan Zhan could do nothing but stare, in awe at the beauty currently wiping his tears of glee from such a boisterous laugh. Lan Zhan barely managed to stop himself from kissing the corner of his eyes. He had taken too many liberties today.
Wei Ying’s laugh turned into a soft smile. He gazed up at Lan Zhan, eyes still sparkling with joy.
“Lan-er gege,” called Wei Ying. Lan Zhan had to lean down a little to listen. He gently caressed Wei Ying’s cheek with his thumb.
Wei Ying melted into his arms.
“You’re the best. I really like you.”
.
.
“…didi, frankly speaking, I don’t know why you’re still consulting this with me. Both of you are clearly infatuated with each other.”
“I am infatuated with Wei Ying,” replied Lan Zhan. “Wei Ying sees me as a close friend. He is rather… oblivious, at times.”
Lan Huan gave him an unamused look. Lan Zhan did not appreciate that.
Today was another love consultation session. Lan Huan giddily accepted his brother’s request to meet over lunch, outside of their biweekly tea time, even going as far as to reschedule his plan with Nie Mingjue. Lan Zhan had an inkling that Lan Huan saw these consultation sessions like new episodes of his favorite show. He seemed too excited every time.
“A-Zhan,” continued Lan Huan. “Seeing that you think he is oblivious, perhaps you could try confessing in the near future?”
Lan Zhan knew Wei Ying would be kind with his rejection, but Lan Zhan would die. He frowned at his brother. “I do not want to jeopardize our friendship.”
“I understand. I was afraid too, before telling A-Jue my feelings,” said Lan Huan. “I confessed at our weekly dinner. It was just the right moment. We were talking about what to do during the holiday, so I suggested we go on a date and told him I’d like us to be more than friends.”
Lan Zhan remembered how his brother video-called him that day, positively glowing after spending an evening with Nie Mingjue. Lan Huan did not tell him the details, just “Mingjue and I are dating! Expect to see him more when you come home, okay?”
Lan Zhan liked Nie Mingjue, and he was truly happy for his brother, but a part of him was a little, tiny bit jealous at the fact that he had to spend that night doing math homework in his dorm instead of chatting with the love of his life like his brother.
Confessing like Lan Huan was not a bad idea, but Lan Zhan would like something more exciting for Wei Ying, if he indeed ended up confessing. Wei Ying was bright, joyous and cheerful and the personification of all things sweet. Lan Zhan would like to confess in a way that would fit his Wei Ying.
He told Lan Huan so. His brother hummed in understanding. “What does Wei Ying like? We should make a list and see which one you can use to further your plan.”
“Spicy food. Alcohol.”
“You already buy those for him often. And?”
“Rabbits.”
“You constantly gift him bunny-themed accessories. Anything else?”
“Spending time with friends and family.”
“He already spends time with you all the time. Is there something more… unique? Something secret, perhaps? Or something you’ve heard him say around you, but not other people. It will be more special.”
Lan Zhan paused. Wei Ying talked a lot in his presence, but so did around other people. Lan Zhan tried to think of anything Wei Ying liked that was not public knowledge. All the things he had listed were known by almost everyone within the first fifteen minutes of knowing Wei Ying.
Perhaps he was doing this the wrong way. Lan Zhan tried to think of something Wei Ying had not verbally said, but enjoyed nonetheless.
Wei Ying liked to smile. He lit up whatever room he walked into. He enjoyed bringing joy to others. He loved hugs. Physical touch. He enjoyed touching Lan Zhan. He would cling to his arm when they walked, put his head on his shoulder when they sat side by side, and played with his fingers absentmindedly when he talked.
Wei Ying liked interaction. He liked their daily chats, their calls, their outings. He would sulk when Lan Zhan regrettably had to postpone their plan sometimes, and pretended to still be mad when Lan Zhan tried to make it up to him with spicy dishes and cute gifts. He would complain and pout and laugh when Lan Zhan pinched his cheeks to force him to smile. He would eat the foods Lan Zhan bought happily and wear the gifts the next day.
Wei Ying sought Lan Zhan’s attention, seemingly craved it, and would bask in it once he got it—
I really like you.
Lan Zhan sat up straighter than he already did. The realization hit him like thunder on a sunny day.
Lan Huan waved his hand in front of Lan Zhan’s face, surprised and worried at the state of shock he was suddenly in. “…didi?”
.
.
Lan Zhan stared at his bedroom ceiling.
His tea time with Lan Huan was cut short because he quite literally malfunctioned. Lan Huan patted his shoulder, asked him to rest, and promised to help him later after he composed himself. Lan Zhan had nodded, but his mind was already elsewhere.
How could he have been so dense?
There was a big chance that he misunderstood, of course. He might have miscalculated, or remembered wrong. Perhaps he was simply delusional—but Lan Zhan was confident in his ability to remember things. He had a near photographic memory and could remember something someone said to him once years ago.
Wei Ying had said he liked him numerous times.
Now that he was thinking about it, Lan Zhan did not know how he missed this huge fact. Wei Ying always said it so casually, he even said it on their first meeting. It certainly sounded like a joke, the first few times. Wei Ying said it whenever they spent time together, or when Lan Zhan had said something particularly witty, or when he received gifts from him, or when Lan Zhan patted his hair, rubbed his back, held his hand—
Perhaps he means platonically, he reasoned, he might have been this affectionate to all of his friends.
Except Lan Zhan knew that he was not. Wei Ying was very friendly, sure, and he was very fond of physical contact and a big fan of words of affirmation, but Lan Zhan had seen how he acted around his friends, and it was nothing compared to how Wei Ying treated him. None of Wei Ying’s friends got the smile. None of them spent as much time with him as Lan Zhan. None of them got Wei Ying stuttering and blushing and saying I really like you.
Lan Zhan sat up, rubbed his temples, and lied down again.
Oh, Lan Zhan realized, with absolute certainty. Wei Ying is not oblivious. I am.