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Yuu should have gone home and changed after school, but he was too concerned to waste time like that. Instead, he went right to the hospital. She shouldn't be alone at a time like this. At least, Yuu didn't want to leave her alone. He wanted to be there for her.
He had talked to his parents about this beforehand, and they were fine with it. After all, his mom had been the one who drove Yui to the hospital the night before, so she understood the gravity of things. He would be home later, but he didn't know when he was going to leave. When he felt he could, most likely.
Yui was awake when Yuu got to her room, but she was sullen. He didn’t prompt a conversation, so she didn’t speak, and instead just stared out the window. Yuu had homework, anyway, so he was going to get started working on that. And after homework would be studying. That would be tedious no matter where he did it, so why not in a hospital room?
Math to start. Math was always Yuu’s worst subject, so it would be better to start with that and give himself the most time to work on it. Next to the chair Yuu was sitting in was a small table, so he set his things there, figured out a way to write in a comfortable position and got started.
After several minutes of writing, turning to his calculator on the table and running some numbers, and yet further writing, there was a knock on the door. Yuu set his pencil down and looked up in time for the door to open and a nurse to come in. She seemed surprised to see Yuu there, but she quickly turned to him for an aside.
“Um, hello. Are you Ms. Yamamoto’s sister?”
Yuu grimaced, then shook his head. “No, I’m just a friend. Haruno. Um, I helped bring Yui in last night, so I wanted to visit her and see how she was doing.”
The nurse’s clipboard was tucked away under her arm, but she pulled it out and began flipping through papers. “Ah… Um… Are you Rui, or…”
“You can just call me Yuu, please.”
The nurse’s eyes got a little wider. She shook her head wildly. “Sorry, okay.” Then, social obligation aside, she ducked down and turned back to Yui, whose position hadn’t shifted at all since Yuu came into the room. She started by calling out to her, “Uh, Ms. Yamamoto?”, and when that didn’t work, walking around the other side of the bed, the direction that Yui was staring. Once she knew Yui was conscious, the nurse tried calling out to her again.
“Ms. Yamamoto? I’m here for a check-in. I have some questions? Can you please answer these for me?”
Yuu wanted to get back to his homework, but with the noise in the room, that wasn’t really an option. The nurse was running through her questions slowly, and Yui was responding quietly. It seemed she was feeling fine, for the most part, although naturally still quite out of it after her experience the night before. Really, considering the state she had been in when Yuu left the hospital, she was holding up quite well, but he wasn’t sure how much of that was her being sturdy, and how much of that was her being shell-shocked. At this rate, she would probably be discharged in the morning.
And that would definitely be better, but Yuu wasn’t sure Yui could be trusted on her own at the moment. He still didn’t know what exactly had set her off, but if it happened again, ruining herself like that again so soon might be impossible for her to survive. He wasn’t the only one that could look after her, sure. Eru worked night shifts, so she could watch after Yui during the day, and the others would be free from the afternoon, but it wasn’t so easy as just babysitting her until she wasn’t depressed anymore.
They didn’t have the kind of time to fix her issues, especially when they all had their own. It wasn’t that easy. If depression and trauma could be mended so easily, none of them would be in the positions they were in.
“Um, thanks. Are you hungry? Dinner should be sent in soon.”
Yui just gave a non-descript grunt in response, one that could have been affirmative or negative, with no particular leaning. The nurse seemed lost in how to respond, so after a few months, she bowed.
“I’ll have it sent in shortly.”
Once the nurse left, Yui turned back to the window. The parking lot outside had taken on a dark purple filter, lit only by early streetlights. After a few moments, Yuu spoke up.
“Yui? Do you want to talk? Is there anything I can do to help?”
There was no response, so Yuu went back to his homework. More math, but he was making good progress on it. Still just as tedious, but it was getting done. By the time there was another knock on the door, he was nearly done.
Another nurse, or perhaps just an orderly, came in with a tray. He set it up on the bed, then hurried out of the room. Yui hardly reacted.
Yuu had eaten before arriving specifically to avoid this situation. His mom would be setting leftovers aside for him when he got home, too, so he was fine. What wasn’t fine was if Yui wasn’t going to eat. Yuu stood up to get a look at what had arrived, when Yui refuted him quietly.
“I’m not hungry. I’ll get to it later.”
Yuu didn’t insist on the matter. History homework next. Yuu was better with social studies and creative courses than something rote and simple like math, so he was more interested in that. A bit less tedious, but still a fair bit boring. Homework was still homework… but it was better if he could lose himself in the subject, at least a little.
When he looked up again, Yui was eating. Or at least, had eaten a little. She had already returned to her apparent default position, but the plate was slightly less full. That was relieving… Slightly, but not nothing. If she wasn’t eating, then Yuu would begin to worry about her health. She already wasn’t the best at taking care of herself when she was sober and in a good mind. Now? She was toporous, practically a shell of herself. He couldn’t blame her, but it was a sorry state to be in. And he hoped she would recover from it quickly, because otherwise he would feel it his responsibility to keep her alive.
It could be Junna. Junna often took it upon herself to look after Yui, and she had more power to make Yui better herself. But Junna wasn’t reliable. Neither were Hikari or Midori. They had good intentions, but their minds were elsewhere… Granted, Yuu was dedicated to school, too, but he would be staying in the area.
But Yui balked at his support. She didn’t see him as someone who could support him, which is why she would find herself in situations like this. If Yuu couldn’t support her, if Junna and the others were inconsistent, then she had to do it herself. Not just that, but she saw herself as someone who needed to help everyone else, even if it was at the cost of herself… That just couldn’t do, could it?
But what could Yuu do?
It felt like they still saw him as a little sister. Junna, Midori, Hikari, even Eru. They all did. He knew his age was an issue, he understood that, but it wasn’t something they could completely dismiss him over. It wasn’t like Yui was the most mature person ever, or Midori. It wasn’t like Junna didn’t have her times where impulse overrode common sense. He wasn’t a child anymore. He was almost done with high school.
And he wanted to help. He wanted to support them like they supported him. That was how they survived. They had gone through incredible and horrible things together, and no one else could relate to them but each other. That’s why they had to stick together. That’s why he wanted to play his part. If only they let him.
He had been lost in thought for several minutes, but when Yuu looked up again, Yui hadn’t touched her food at all. The few bites that had been missing before were all that was eaten off it. He set his pencil down and resigned himself to the fact that he wasn’t getting any work done while he was caught up worrying about Yui. He pulled his chair up to the side of the bed and gently called out to her.
“Yui? How are you doing?”
There was a brief pause, but to his surprise, she turned to him. Her face was grave, but considering the situation, she looked as good as she could.
“Are you not hungry?”
“Mhm.” It seemed Yui wasn’t in the mood for conversation, since that was all she said. She turned down to look at the tray in front of her, but she paid it no mind. With Yuu by her side, it seemed that she didn’t want to turn back to the window, so she instead laid back against the back of the upright bed.
“I could go get you something from a vending machine, if you want. Would that be more appetizing? I’m here to help.”
Yui just shook her head. “No, I’m… I’m fine. I’m not hungry.”
Yuu frowned, but nodded. “Alright.”
He moved his chair back to the wall. After staring at his homework for a few minutes, he gave up on that again and pulled out his phone. He scrolled through his texts for a little bit, then stopped on one. Arisa. He started typing a message, then set the phone down. He wasn’t sure if she would respond in a timely manner. It seemed like she was living such an eventful adult life… so it might be that reaching out to her wasn’t a good way to quell his boredom. She likely wouldn’t care to hear about Yui, either, so he would need to find something else to talk about with her. If she even responded tonight.
He had a few friends at school, but not as many as he would have liked… but was this really something he could talk about with people his age? Alcoholism was an adult issue. Even if he wasn’t an adult, he was looking after one. He saw firsthand what it was like.
So for lack of anything better to do, it was back to schoolwork. He was almost done with history, so next would be some reading for his language arts class. He didn’t especially care about the book his class was currently reading, but it wasn’t bad, so hopefully it would hold his interest well enough.
He only got a few pages in before there was a knock on the door and he had to set it down again. That was fine enough, it wasn't especially gripping. A few moments later, there was another knock, and then the door opened. But rather than the nurse returning, it was… Hikari, probably. She wasn’t wearing the scarf, but that wasn’t a guarantee. It wasn’t until she meandered over to the chair on the other side of the table and sat down that Yuu could be sure. The two of them had distinct mannerisms. It was Hikari.
She looked exhausted. Yuu had heard a little about the weekend that Junna and Midori had had, so he couldn’t blame her.
The woman stared at Yui for a few moments, then sighed. She turned to look at Yuu, leaning over slightly and speaking in a small voice. “She’s not eating. Is she okay?”
Yuu shrugged and responded in a similarly small voice. “I’m not sure, but she says she isn’t hungry.”
“She seems more apathetic than anything.”
“I wouldn’t—”
“You know I can hear you, right?” Yuu and Hikari both looked up to see Yui glaring at them. “If you want to talk about me, don’t hide it. You think I’m pathetic, don’t you?”
Yuu responded immediately. “No, no. I’m just concerned.”
“I was talking about Hikari.”
Hikari frowned, but shook her head. “It’s not that. I just think you need help, and you need to be willing to accept it. And Yuu agrees with me, right?”
“Um…” Yuu didn’t care for being put on the spot like that… but he didn’t disagree, and that was obvious on his face. After a moment, he nodded. “You seem… avoidant of help. Like you don’t want to rely on others.” Yuu had further thoughts on why she was like that, but this wasn’t the time for that. Maybe some other time.
“I…” Yuu could tell Yui was considering her words. “I don’t want to talk about this. If you want me to eat, then I’ll eat. Is that enough?”
Both Yuu and Hikari frowned, but neither said anything against that. Instead, Yuu nodded. “Sure.”
Yui started eating. Small bites, but it was still something. There was an awkward stillness in the room, and it was only broken when, after about ten minutes, Hikari stood up.
“I came by to see how you were doing. I hope you keep getting better. We can talk more later.” She picked up her purse that had been set down on the ground, then hurried out of the room, leaving Yuu and Yui alone again.
It was shattered for a moment, but the uncomfortable quiet returned almost immediately once the door was closed. In an effort to alleviate pressure from Yui, Yuu returned to his book.
Maybe someday they would be happy. It felt impossible.
Their history cast too large of a shadow to simply just move on.
Junna couldn’t come to terms with their magic really being gone, with the adventure being over.
Midori couldn’t come to terms with having been a true hero and having lost it.
Eru was traumatized by what had happened in an irreconcilable way, and Yuu could only empathize with her, but never truly understand.
From what Yuu had heard about Arisa, she handled the trauma as well as she could, but being crippled was something that she would never heal from. She would be trapped in a wheelchair for life, and even if she came to terms with that, it was still an unavoidable shadow over her life.
Yuu still couldn’t come to terms with being called a magical girl.
Maybe it was petty. It was just a word. But words mattered. Words can cause discomfort.
He should just get over it.
Move on.
He had done a good thing, after all. Helped save the world. And the label was value neutral. They had been magical girls. He had been among them. He had considered himself a girl and a magical girl at the time, and had no issue with it then. It was only in time that he became uncomfortable with it. But why should he care? The others understood him, and they accepted him as he was. Using that word wouldn’t discredit him in their eyes, wouldn’t reduce him below what he was. It was an irrational worry to have.
It was frivolous, especially when others were having much more significant problems. Like Yui.
All Yuu’s problems did was make him a little sad. He could put up with that. Nothing that would land him in the hospital like this. Nothing that would threaten his life. Whereas Yui had nearly drunk herself to death.
She seemed to be recovering well, at least. When she was out, Yuu would have to talk with Junna about what to do next.
Yui had made it the better part of two weeks sober, but the way that attempt ended meant she wasn’t getting partial credit. Next time, they would have to make sure she didn’t have anything in her apartment, they would have to monitor her during their outings, they would need to make sure she didn’t sneak off to do drinking nights on her own.
Yuu didn’t want to think that they couldn’t trust her, but she had a proven track record… Rather than thinking of it as forcing Yui or babysitting her, they couldn—
Yuu was pulled from his though-filled stupor when Yui all of a sudden tried standing up. She still had an IV in her arm, and even trying to get on her feet was proving rocky.
Yuu set his schoolwork down and hurried over to her side. “Yui, you need to stay in bed.” He started trying to guide her back into a position.
Yui glared at him. “I’ve been laying down for a full day now. I need to stretch my legs.”
Yuu frowned, but didn’t want to say she couldn’t. After a moment, he held up a hand. “Give me a second.” He hurried out of the room and into the hallway, then tracked down that nurse from before.
“Um, excuse me?”
The nurse jumped a little, then turned to Yuu. “Um, yes?” She clutched her clipboard against her chest.
Yuu gestured back to the room. “Uh, Yui wants to get up and walk around a little. Is that okay?”
The nurse held up her clipboard and flipping through pages for a few seconds. Then she looked at Yuu past the clipboard and nodded. “Um, as long as Ms. Yamamoto isn’t too active and is careful of the medical equipment, she should be fine.”
Yuu nodded, then walked back to the room. Yui was looking a little more grumpy than before. “She says it’s fine to get up. Just, be careful, okay?”
Yui rolled her eyes, but said nothing as she stood up and began stretching. She was noticeably a little wobbly, but used the bed to balance herself. She paced around for a little bit, and did some more stretching.
Things seemed to be fine, so Yuu tried returning to his homework. But this time, Yui’s pacing was distracting him. Not just the pacing around, but the worry that she might collapse again. She was being mindful to not get too far from the IV, which was good, but it still felt hard to be sure that she wouldn’t do something dangerous or potentially harmful.
Outside the window, snow was beginning to fall. Maybe it had begun falling a while ago, but now it was heavy enough to be noticeable on the other side of the room and through the window. Should Yuu head home, then? He would be walking home, since the buses weren’t running this late, and it would be bad if he got caught up in a snowstorm.
And he would have to go home at some point, anyway. So while Yui was still pacing around, Yuu began packing his things. That made her glance at him, but she didn’t acknowledge him beyond that. It only took a minute or so to get everything back in his bag and in its proper place. Once that was done, he slung it over his shoulder.
“Do you know when they’re letting you out tomorrow?”
Yui was quiet, so Yuu didn’t know if she was going to respond. But she stopped in place and looked over at him, and shrugged.
“Some time in the morning. You’ll probably be at school.”
“It’s a weekend, and besides, I could ask the teacher for a pass. Helping a friend is more important than attending class. I could make up the work after school.”
Yui rolled her eyes. “I’ll text you.”
Yuu studied her face, but it was flat and emotionless. She seemed to be tired. He just nodded back to her.
“Okay. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
She was probably going to blow him off, but he could visit her later at her apartment if need be.
Yuu waved goodbye to Yui, then left. The walk through the hall was slow, and once he was in the lobby, he stopped and sat down. He sent the others quick texts, updating them on how Yui was doing, then slid his phone into his sweatshirt pocket.
Outside, more snow was continuing to fall. By morning, there would be a pretty big build-up. Rather than Yuu visiting Yui on his own, he would probably ask his mom to drive him there. They could drive her back to her apartment from there. Make sure she gets back safely, and maybe nag her into throwing out any unopened bottles, to remove the temptation entirely.
Skirts are so impractical, he thought. Staring out at the falling snow made him annoyed at his school uniform. It was longer for winter, sure, but pants would be warmer. Less annoying to deal with. A few more months, and then he would be in university, and he wouldn’t have to worry about that uniform anymore.
If he was going to be getting his mom to drive Yui home, then maybe they would also stop on the way home and get her groceries or at least convenience store pre-packaged meals. He had no illusion that she would be in a sorry state for a while after this, but something like that could help a lot.
The longer he put it off, the worse it would get. With a groan, Yuu stood up and headed for the door. Whatever would happen tomorrow was a matter for tomorrow.