Chapter Text
Dew clung to her skin, matting her hair. Everything hurt. Pain shot to her neck as she moved it. He left her on a damn bench. Last night wasn't a dream. The supposed love of her life left her on a bench in a dangerous ninja village. Those were the facts. Sakura thought she handled facts well. Until now.
She laid on the bench for two hours. Her face was obscured by darkness; she could cry.
When the sun dragged itself past the walls of the village, Sakura rose to meet the eyes of two familiar Chunin. If her memory was correct, and it usually was, they were with Ibiki at the Chunin exams.
“Sasuke left,” she croaked. Did she look like she was crying? She probably did. Oh god—
“Main gate,” the one with the bandage on his face questioned. She nodded.
“Look we’ve got to go but, feel better, kid. And swing by the Hokage’s building when you get a chance. Ask for Kotetsu. We’ll talk”
“Yeah. Okay”
The pair exchanged a look and now she knew. She. Looked. Ruined. At least they were nice about it. Her eyes fixed on their backs until they disappeared.
When she was left with her thoughts, she felt herself wishing the pair back. She was a puppet with the strings cut. The voice in her head chanted his name. A cruel ritual, an escape. She ignored it.
Walking home was an effort. The civilian district was quiet. Everything was how it should be.
He’s gone, Sakura. You were never going to keep up. You were meant to be left.
She shriveled at the thought, wishing she could retreat into something. Into daydreaming of Sasuke, fighting with Ino, being annoyed by Naruto—
Oh god, Naruto. She had been so mean to him, so desperate to impress Sasuke.
She was a horrible person.
No people in the streets. An ugly sob escaped her throat. She crumpled against the door. The team had painted it as one of their first D-ranks. The soft yellow mocked her. She would repaint it. Eventually.
The door pushed against her back.
“Oh, honey. What happened?”
Sakura crumpled into her mother’s arms, safe at last. Her mother gilded her fingers though Sakura’s hair.
Mebuki hugged her twelve year old tight. Nothing would get to her daughter after this. She would make sure of it. Nothing could be done yet so she motioned for Sakura to sit on the couch. She demanded Sakura tell her everything. She did.
After telling her mom everything, Sakura wished she felt lighter. Instead, she felt like sinking into the floor. Verbalizing her cowardice, her immaturity as a ninja, was a challenge. Mebuki just sighed and hugged her daughter, promising they would work on it. And work on it they would. After a day of tears, rest, and an unhealthy dose of emotional turmoil.
Sakura changed into a new qipao and was struck by the effort it took. Her mom hovered as she paced through the house, preparing for her conversation with Naruto. She knew she was psychically ready. Everything was how it should be. She couldn't do it. She couldn’t tell Naruto their teammate, his first friend, was gone. Not when she didn’t believe it herself.
But that was all there was to do.
She opened the yellow door. Sunlight streamed in. The world kept turning and as she walked to the front gate, she knew she had to move with it.
With help from Shikamaru’s mom and a helpful Chunin, she met the Sasuke Retrieval Team at the gate. Natuto looked worn, a terse smile keeping his positivity in place. The average person couldn’t tell, but Sakura knew. His facade cracked as soon as he found her eyes. The pair collapsed into each other.
“I’ll get him back, that’s a promise,” Naruto’s voice broke.
“No, we’ll get him back”
“Sakura, you can’t—“
“I can and I will,” she let her inner thoughts out for once and damn that felt good. They both knew she meant it. Against all odds, Naruto knew. If any team member had been in her corner the whole time, it was him.
“Naruto, look at me,” he pulled away and met the force of her emotions, “Thank you.”
They backed away from each other, painstakingly slowly. Sakura collected herself, fitting her face into a smile. Naruto did the same.
“I’ll get him back, just you wait. I swear I’ll keep my promise, Sakura. It’s my ninja way,” he grinned manically. She shook her head, fondly.
“I’ll keep my promise too.”
One last smile. One last moment of healing between the two of them. Then the world came crashing in.
Shikamaru nudged Naruto and the squad set off. Her body moved on autopilot. She passed through a sea of people and buildings, until she found the entrance to the Nara forest. The corner of Nara forest where she and Ino used to play was well past overgrown. The grass tickled her legs. Further in the forest, the air felt chakra heavy. She scanned her surroundings. Tarragon, wild bergamot, foxglove, borage, oleander, angelica, and many more plants covered the area. She was home. And in some kind of strange medicinal heaven. Eh, it could be both.
Then she saw it. Dogwood. Ino had always called her that, forgoing the obvious comparison. Her soft laugh echoed through the grove. She had forgotten. She sank into the memories of their grove, her life. Her and Ino crushing up herbs, cooking them in mom’s kitchen, feeling purpose—
The plants called to her, drawing her into the earth. This place was begging to be restored. She could feel it calling her. She felt the chakra in the dirt welcome her, the trees bend to her will, the micilium respond to her presence. They felt kinship, Sakura realized. After all, her roots were here.
Her thoughts drifted back to her fight with Sasuke. She had said being without him was the same as solitude. Now, she knew that had been a lie. She had family, friends, and, now, she had a purpose: bring him back and start a damn garden.
She rolled up her sleeves and got to work.