Chapter Text
A century before UTM, during the annual meet and greet of the high lords,.
Every year, all seven high lords would meet under the sacred mountain, as is the tradition, to meet, greet, and discuss any topic related to their courts. At least that is what they say officially. In reality, it's just a glorified party for them to show off their stature and wealth.
I lean against the stone wall and watch as large groups of fae, fairies, and lesser fae of all kinds from all over Prythian systematically get drunk and dance inebriated.
Currently, the largest annoyance in the room for me are my shadows. They are trying their hardest to annoy me into talking to them, but I’m so bored out of my mind that my only two options are either falling asleep standing or indulging them.
With a party as large as this one, it wasn’t a surprise that my constant companions were sliding him clips of conversations and morsels of whispered gossip. But unfortunately for me, my shadows find everything and anything hilarious and get pissy with me when I don’t share their point of view. So in the end, they are successful in thoroughly annoying me, and in return, I irritate the absolute shit out of them.
‘You’re no fun! Take us to listen to the music.’
‘You can hear the music just fine from here!’
‘No! Let’s go closer!’
I sigh. Such dramatic assholes!
I indulge them and get closer to the stage where the musicians are playing their instruments soulfully, and get lost in the music just as my shadows sway and swirl around me and relish in it.
And then two things happen at once: one—half of my shadows abandon me and dart into the crowd to heed to another’s call—and two—my eyes fly open and widen as I yield a step back as I press one of my scarred hands hard to my stomach and gasp. I flared my wings to stabilize myself as an unfamiliar sensation was pulled from hidden depths deep behind my ribs.
Time freezes as all my senses are honed in on one point, scenting the thread that is now pulling tight between myself and somebody in this mother-forsaken crowd. My hands shake and my nostrils flare, trying to figure out how to spot the person at the other end of the golden thread amidst these many bodies.
But before I could move a single muscle, the time speeds up as the person on the other end winnows away.
‘NO! Wait!’ I screamed down the bond.
I feel their anguish, guilt, and fear, along with their joy down the bond, as they whisper, ‘I’m sorry.’
‘Please come back!’
‘I-I can’t. I’m sorry, my beloved half.’
‘Why? Why can’t you come back?’
‘I’m sorry!’
‘Do you... do you know who I am?’
‘I didn’t wait to find out. I can see the star-filled skies and smell the night sky between our souls, so I’m guessing you’re from the night court.”
I sigh and close my eyes to see what the bond looks like for me, and I laugh internally at the irony of it. For it was fire and light that filled the void between our souls. His warmth seeped into every nook and cranny of my soul, where the coldness of my being resided, while the darkness of my soul illuminated his light and made it shine brighter.
Well, I guess I was looking for the right thing in the wrong person, pining after Mor for centuries now!
‘Do you... do you hate it!? Being bound to me?’ I ask, almost scared to listen to his answer.
‘Absolutely not! I might not know who you are, but at the other end of it, I can feel you. I can feel your kindness and your joy. So no, I don’t hate being bound to you; you’re my blessing, my beloved half.’
I relax.
‘Why did you leave then?’
He sighs, ‘I’m sorry, but it’s... it’s not safe. If anybody ever figures it out... it’s not safe.’
‘Are you not safe where you are? Is someone a threat to your well-being? Let me help you.’
He laughs softly, ‘I’m fine. It wouldn’t have been safe for you. I couldn’t risk it.’
Even though he couldn’t see me, I shake my head and say, ‘You don’t have to worry about me. I can take care of myself.’
‘Of course I’ll worry about you. I’m made to worry about you.’ He says, laughter and joy evident in his tone.
I close my eyes and do nothing to hide my smile and joy from him.
‘I’m glad to finally meet you, my fireheart.’
‘I’m glad to be a part of you too, my night.’
And so it began.
✨🍂🍁🍂🍁🍂✨
The next century makes me realize that compliments about your appearance are nice, but when someone compliments you as a person, the way you think, your personality, and how genuine your heart is, it hits a different part of your being. But the best compliment and the biggest achievement of my life is making my fireheart feel safe with me. To know him and, in turn, let him know the real me.
He made me realize that love is not just a feeling, but a choice. And I choose to love him day in and day out, just like he does every single day. We were always destined for each other, but we are designing how we want us to be and how we want our lives to be.
But just like every other good thing in life, this has to come to a halt too.
‘Night!’ There was urgency in my mate's tone.
‘Miss me already? Is the ball that boring?’ I tease.
All seven high lords and their entourage are under the mountain to attend the party thrown in celebration of the trade agreements and alliance between Prythian and Hybern. Rhys graciously let all of us skip the boring party, but my mate is not so lucky.
‘Where are you right now?’
‘Are you planning on sneaking out of the party to come see me?’ I tease him again, but my heart beats faster at the thought of it.
It’s been a century since our bond snapped, but my fireheart adamantly refuses to meet me or even tell me who it is that I’m bound to. I respect him enough to let him decide how and when he wants to meet me, even though I’m dying to know.
‘I’m serious, night, where are you?’ He says it urgently.
That’s when I realize that he’s reeking of fear.
‘What’s wrong, fireheart?’
‘Fuck! ANSWER ME! WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?’ He shouts.
I’m taken aback. Not once in the past century has my mate ever raised his voice.
‘I’m… I’m in Illyria.’ I answer, stupefied.
‘Go home! Right now.’
‘What?’
‘GO HOME! Go back to Velaris!’
‘What? Why? What’s going on, my love?’
‘Go home! Please go!’
‘My Lo-‘
‘AZRIEL! If you love me and trust me even a shred, stop questioning and go home now!’
I go completely blank. He… he knows who I am!
‘You know who I am?’ I whisper into the bond.
‘I’m sorry. Yes, I do know who you are. But now is not the time for this. Go home now. Please, I’m begging you.’
I do as I’m told, absentmindedly.
How long has he known who I am?
‘I’m home.’ I say.
He can feel how upset I am.
‘I’m sorry, my night. I’m so sorry for this. I love you and... and thank you for everything, my night. You were amazing.’
And it all goes dark. The fire that had kept me warm even on the coldest of nights was snuffed out. Just like that. All trace of his existence in my soul was wiped out. Just like that. I'm left feeling broken, empty, and desperate. Just like that!
‘Fireheart!’ I call for him in a soft plea, trying to find a way to link our thoughts again, but all I get is my own darkness.
‘Fireheart’ I beg for a response—a flicker of something, anything—but again, not a lick of fire or light.
‘Fireheart’ My voice breaks as my heart splinters.
He has a shield blocking the bond and has shut me out completely. He’s built an impenetrable wall to keep me out.
‘Fireheart!’ I bang on the walls of his mind.
But the voice that answers is not that of my mate, but that of my brother.
As he explained about his powers being ripped away by the spell Hybern general had put on it at the toast, Rhys flinging them out one last time, wiping Velaris, the wards, all that was good, from the minds of the Court of Nightmares—the only ones he’d allowed to go with him. He tells us how he threw the shield around Velaris, binding it to all of us in his inner circle so that we had to remain or risk that protection collapsing, and used the last dregs to tell us mind-to-mind what was happening and to stay away. Within a few seconds, all his power belonged wholly to Amarantha, and everything went dark again.
My brother, my high lord, is stuck under the mountain, and he locked us here in velaris.
My mate, my fireheart, is stuck under the mountain, and he’s completely locked me out of the bond.
I laugh out loud until tears start flowing freely down my cheeks. I laugh until it turns into hysteria. I laugh until I start crying.
My brother bound me to my home so I would stay and be safe, while my mate forced me to come home and shielded the bond so no one could detect it and get it to me.
I cry and scream my helplessness into the void.
I cry and scream at the walls of his mind and shout, ‘Fireheart!’
I bang against the fire and light, and stone over and over. My voice broke again, ‘fireheart!’
He’s killing me and keeping me from dying. His absence constricting my heart.
A century’s worth of laughter and memories. Of arguing and bantering. A century’s worth of treating me gently and with love—love that could be felt, love that was seen, was visible, and was fucking bright. It’s all gone quiet now, and I’m breaking like never before.
Because when it was all crumbling down, all I wished was that I was blessed enough to get even a glimpse of him. To know what his name tastes like on my tongue, to see what he looks like, what he feels like, and what spending even just a second in his presence feels like.
Because when it all came crumbling down, all I got was a ‘Thank you for everything, my night. You were amazing.’ As a goodbye, after a decades of pure bliss and happiness in the other's company.