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The first light of dawn peeked through the curtains, casting a soft glow on the room. The usual chill of his mornings was replaced by the warmth of a naked body beside him. Nao blinked, half-believing he was still dreaming.
Years have passed this way, where Natsuya travels the world and returns to Japan out of the blue, to surprise him with a prepared meal or a bottle of wine (Nao's favorite), incredibly agreeing to drink something other than his beloved beer.
Their relationship was far from conventional. Sometimes close to each other, sometimes at distance.
Nao would be lying if he says he doesn't miss Natsuya's kisses or hugs. So much that he can't imagine wanting someone else's.
Natsuya was his first love, first everything.
That's why his heart stopped when he heard the famous "we need to talk" line. Natsuya's eyes held a mixture of sorrow and determination, a look Nao had come to know too well.
"Listen... we can't keep doing this."
"How so?" He asked, seeking further explanation, his brain not fully awake yet.
"I'm leaving soon... and you'll be alone again. It isn't supposed to be like that." Natsuya looked at him. They were still lying on the bed, facing each other. When Nao didn't reply, he continued."You should find a person who will stay."
"Don't go there."
"Nao- you can't just... pretend you're okay with all of this."
"It's not your place to decide." He gently reminded him and reached out a hand to caress his cheekbone."I'm not a kid you need to look after. I know what I got myself into." Then he smiled, seeing that Natsuya's resolve wavered with the physical contact."I appreciate your concern... but you don't have to do this for my sake."
"Nao." Stubborn man... but there were two of us.
"Do you still love me?" Nao combed some brown hair behind Natsuya's ear.
"That's... that's unfair. Of course! You know I do."
"Then it's settled."
Natsuya was speechless for a few seconds."You-..."
"I know the man I fell in love with. You're fulfilling your dream, opening your world... as I'm opening mine. Someday we will meet on the road, as we always do."
"... Would you move to another country with me?" Natsuya asked in a whisper, so softly. Vulnerable.
"We'll see... you tried to break up with me a second ago and now you're proposing?" Nao teased, a soft laugh escaping his lips. He leaned in closer, their foreheads touching.
Natsuya let out a small, almost defeated chuckle, running a hand through his own hair out of nervousness. "Yeah, I guess that was a bit contradictory."
"You’re a complicated man."
"And you love that about me," Natsuya replied, his smile returning, albeit tinged with sadness.
"You’re full of surprises, yes." Nao sighed, propping himself up on one elbow. "But seriously, I knew what I was getting into from the start. Your dream, your travels... they’re a part of who you are. And I love you for all of it."
Natsuya’s gaze softened, his eyes searching Nao’s for a long moment. "I just worry that I’m being selfish. That I’m holding you back."
"Don’t you see? It’s the opposite. You’ve opened my world too. You inspire me. Maybe our paths aren’t always aligned, but they cross. And those moments... they’re worth everything. I'm not asking you to stay."
Natsuya sighed, a mix of relief and lingering doubt. "I don’t deserve you."
The other leaned down to place a gentle kiss on Natsuya’s lips, wanting to take those words away in the sweetest way possible. "Perhaps you're right, but I'm not going to let you go that easily."
"Well... if you'll have me."
"Always." he murmured, as if sealing a vow."You're the one and only."
Natsuya's heart pounded in his chest, each beat echoing the intensity of his feelings. He cupped Nao's face with trembling hands."God." He looked and sounded utterly defeated."I love you so fucking much. It's insane." Tears welled up in his eyes, sign of his relief and overwhelming love."You're so precious..."
"Promise me if there's an issue, we will talk through it together. You don't get to choose for me, leaving me outside whatever you're thinking."
While Nao may tolerate physical distance, any breach in emotional connection could mean the end of their bond.
"Okay. I'm sorry... that's the bare minimum I owe to you and yet... I managed to be an asshole."
They intertwined their legs, pulling their bodies even closer.
"Don't beat yourself up over it. It's fine to speak your mind without filtering."
"You should be angry. Throw a pillow or something at me, I've earned it." Nao just rolled his eyes in disbelief."Yes, yes... Roll those gorgeous eyes at me."
"You're being ridiculous." Nao said with a hint of amusement in his voice and his lover huffed in protest."I'm fully aware that it only turns you on."
"Hmmm..." Natsuya didn't reply back, he buried his face in the curve of Nao's neck, seeking comfort and closeness. With tender affection, he nuzzled against the skin, softly caressing it with the tip of his nose."Thank you. For understanding, for loving me the way you do. I'm a lucky man."
Nao gently stroked Natsuya's back, his touch a soothing rhythm against the tension he felt there. He pressed a kiss to Natsuya's hair, breathing in the familiar scent that always calmed him.
"We both are."
They spent the rest of the morning in each other's arms, savoring every touch, every kiss, knowing that their love, no matter how unconventional, was strong enough to withstand anything.
They might not have all the answers, and the future remained uncertain, but for now, they had each other.
In this moment, with Natsuya beside him, everything felt right.
And that was enough.