Work Text:
I think of it. I know I should not, but constantly, I find my heart in his.
I find that he's ᝰᏪຊ .?
There'll be moments where I could believe, that maybe for just a second, he might see me how I see to him. For whatever this is. Whatever we are.
I don't exactly know no more.
As deserving childish as it may be, I long for us to be something more than just what we say. Than just what we are, and have been these passing months. It nearly feels too strange that a man I've known for not even a year, has got my heart in just a few words. Perhaps, I ain't thinking right, aᝰ
And, maybe, Hosea ain't so wrong about me and my “impertinent” behavior.
He's right about many things. Ain't he? He's the only man person to match my talk. Or in his rudest words, “your bullshit”, but who am I, to disagree with someone as high as I hold him? Knowing him, and how he so boringly joins to stomp on my parade, I could only assume just his reaction to this. He wouldn't leave if he knew, right?
Ain't that something. He couldn't ever know. What I am, he would scoff. Or worst of it, put a bullet through my skull. But, that might be the easier way out than to see his face if he were to ever know.
6. 8. 1879
