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Satoru curses as he slowly makes his way to Suguru’s apartment. His ribs hurt like a bitch and even though by now he knows the difference between broken and bruised he still had Shoko check him out for any worse injuries. She declared him healthy apart from the bruises, and even though Satoru could tell from her look that she wanted to ask, she had kept quiet.
It had been a while since Satoru needed her to check him out after a visit to his family and that fact wasn’t lost on Shoko either. Of course she’d be curious.
Satoru hadn’t said anything though and so she had sent him on his merry way with just a few painkillers. He had already taken two at her place and Satoru was under strict instruction not to overdo it with them, but he had to admit that the rattling sounded real tempting right about now.
Breathing was hard.
Satoru really had forgotten just what a bitch bruised ribs are and he could have done without the reminder.
Still, he sets one foot in front of the other, because he’s already late to his meeting with Suguru and he absolutely refuses to cancel it outright, injuries or not.
Satoru does eventually make it to Suguru’s apartment, letting himself in with the key Suguru gave him a few years back and instantly, all the stress falls off him. His ribs barely hurt anymore, either, that’s the kind of effect this apartment–Suguru’s home–has on him.
“Welcome home!” Suguru calls out from what sounds like his bedroom and Satoru briefly closes his eyes against the traitorous stinging.
“I’m back,” he calls back, as if he was living here, as if this was his apartment too, and with how much time he spends here it might as well be.
“And only half an hour late,” Suguru says with a smile as he comes around the corner—that, too, is one well-practiced dance between them—and Satoru gives him a sheepish grin.
He wants to say that he would have been on time if he hadn’t made a detour to see Shoko but then Suguru would ask about that and Satoru can’t have that. He’s not going to explain his injuries to Suguru any more than to Shoko.
“Sorry.” Satoru says apologetically as he toes off his shoes, glad that this is completely the norm for him.
Bending down to properly untie his shoes might have just killed him today and so this really is the best he can do.
“Satoru,” Suguru sighs out, clearly disappointed but in a way that speaks of utter defeat because he knows Satoru is never ever going to properly untie his shoes.
Why would he, if he has Suguru who does it for him?
“Just leave them,” Satoru says, even though the fact that Suguru is bending down to undo the laces on his shoes and properly put them away is going to make things so much easier when Satoru has to leave again.
“I won’t,” Suguru gives back, and this is practiced as well.
Suguru has been cleaning up after Satoru for years at this point, after all, and much to Satoru’s amazement—and never-ending gratitude—he doesn’t seem to be tired of it yet.
“You’re such a mess,” Suguru then says, a fond smile on his face and Satoru allows himself to lean forward, until he can rest his forehead against Suguru’s shoulder.
It makes breathing easier for a few seconds, because Suguru is there, Suguru is warm and Suguru is slightly hugging him. Honestly, Suguru is all the good things wrapped in one and how could Satoru ever let his family bad-mouth him.
“Ready for the movie?” Suguru asks after a long moment and Satoru forces himself to move away from Suguru, covering his slight wince up with a blinding smile.
“Absolutely,” he decides because this is something he has looked forward to almost the entire day—and especially when his father had really laid it in on him—and so he impatiently drags Suguru over to the living-room.
Everything is set up already, because of course it is, and with a sigh Satoru sinks down on the couch.
“Are you okay?” Suguru asks with a frown as he sits down next to Satoru who lets out a weary sigh.
“Peachy,” he says, and since he’s not even trying to hide the fact that he’s lying, it’s no surprise that Suguru frowns at him.
“What’s wrong?” he wants to know, one hand reaching out to lightly circle around Satoru’s wrist as if the physical contact could tell him what’s wrong with Satoru.
“Just—it’s been a long day,” Satoru sighs out, and then pushes and prods Suguru until he’s scooted all the way over to the end of the couch.
“Satoru, what the hell,” Suguru complaints but he doesn’t do anything to stop Satoru and instead moves easily to where he wants him.
As soon as Satoru deems Suguru positioned enough, he carefully twists around even though his ribs protest the move vehemently, and he lays down, his head in Suguru’s lap.
“I just want to stay like this,” Satoru says, blinking up at Suguru, who puts a hand into his hair almost instinctively.
“Satoru, are you sure everything’s okay?” Suguru asks, quieter this time and Satoru closes his eyes and turns his head until he can hide his face in Suguru’s stomach.
“I’m just tired,” Satoru mutters, feels how Suguru breathes and thinks he could die happily right here.
There’s a brief silence before Suguru lets out a sigh.
“Alright, fine,” he agrees, clearly not believing Satoru, but evidently deciding against pushing it for today and Satoru is grateful for it.
He’s certain that Suguru is going to keep a close eye on Satoru for the entire night, in case he can spot anything out of the norm, but that only means that Suguru’s attention will wholly be on Satoru, which is something he absolutely doesn’t mind.
Satoru’s ribs are aching something fierce now, pounding in time with his heartbeat and Satoru forces himself to relax, to melt into the couch.
It would probably be better if he could put some ice on them, but he can’t ask for that without having to come clean to Suguru and there is no way in hell he’s going to do that.
Suguru doesn’t need to know what happened, because it would only make him worry again, it would make him beg Satoru to stop talking back to his family and that is something Satoru is not going to do.
Sure, he got good at it, taking whatever insult his family hurls at him without arguing back, without provoking them into beating him, but this is something he can’t stay quiet about.
It’s fine if his family degrades him, but Satoru won’t allow them to do the same to Suguru, there’s no way in hell. If he has to take his father’s fists for it again, then so be it, but he’s not going to stay quiet when they hurl abuse at Suguru.
“You’re going to miss the movie like this,” Suguru mutters, his hands scratching at Satoru’s scalp and if he really wants Satoru to pay attention, then he shouldn’t be doing this.
“It can be a podcast,” Satoru gives back, arching into Suguru’s touch as if he’s a cat and it makes Suguru chuckle.
“Sure, whatever you say,” he indulgingly says and continues his movement even as the movie begins to play.
“Thank you,” Satoru whispers, and he means so much that he nearly chokes on the words.
“You’re welcome,” Suguru easily replies, because for him, it really is that easy and Satoru moves, turns on his side and moves slightly upwards until he can press his face more firmly into Suguru’s stomach and sling his arms around him.
It strains his ribs badly and he’s not sure how long he’ll be able to stay like that but with Suguru’s hand in his hair and the other on his shoulder, keeping him close, keeping him warm, he thinks he might be able to hold this position for as long as he has to.
If only Suguru never lets go of him.
~ * ~ * ~
Satoru winces. His face hurts with every step that he takes and there’s still the taste of blood in his mouth. He carefully prods his lip with his tongue and of course that causes it to split open all over again. Just his luck, Satoru supposes.
He unsurely comes to a stop in front of Suguru’s house because going there now definitely means spilling everything, since there’s no way he can hide his injuries. Not when they are this prominent on his face. He can barely look out of his right eye and he knows it’s going to be one hell of a shiner in just a few hours.
Still, Satoru aches to see Suguru, because he always makes things better, no matter what, and Satoru is not in the habit of denying himself this comfort.
He only dreads the look on Suguru’s face and how angry he’s going to be with him once he finds out what happened.
Satoru really needs to learn to keep his mouth shut, especially in front of his family.
He takes a deep breath before he makes his way up to Suguru’s apartment and even though he has made his mind up about this he still can’t help but to be as quiet as possible as he lets himself into Suguru’s apartment.
It’s useless of course, because of course Suguru hears the door but it gives Satoru a few more precious seconds to figure out how to lie convincingly to Suguru. Not that it’s going to work, but it’s nice to pretend.
“Satoru?” Suguru calls out, clearly surprised to by his visit but his voice is followed by hurried footsteps. “I didn’t know you were–” his voice trails off as soon as he comes around the corner and his eyes fall on Satoru. “What happened?” he breathes out, immediately stepping closer, his hands fluttering as if he’s afraid to reach out to touch Satoru. “Satoru, what happened!”
“Hi,” Satoru weakly says and steps into Suguru’s hands.
Suguru’s hands are featherlight on Satoru’s cheeks and there’s still the sting of pain, even from this, but Satoru doesn’t care about that. He steps even closer, until he can sling his arms around Suguru and he drops his head on Suguru’s shoulder.
“Satoru,” Suguru whispers again, “are you okay?”
Tears immediately spring to Satoru’s eyes, because this is such a Suguru thing. He could demand to know what happened, could demand an explanation but he’s not doing that. He’s concerned like no one else in Satoru’s life ever has been for him and Satoru buries closer to Suguru, no matter how much his face is protesting that move.
“Better now,” he admits because being here, being in Suguru’s arms is definitely helping.
Suguru lets out a weary sigh, though he keeps his arms around Satoru.
“Do you need to see Shoko? Any other injuries?” Suguru asks after a while and Satoru shakes his head.
“It’s—all bruises,” he says, admitting to the fact that there are still more injuries on him and he can tell that Suguru realises what he just said by the way he flinches.
“Alright. Come here, we’re going to get you sorted out,” Suguru softly says and steps away from Satoru, though he does keep a hand on him as if Satoru could run at any moment.
Satoru is not going to run, not now and not ever, not from Suguru, but he doubts that Suguru would listen to him at the moment.
This is probably all about comfort for him as well, anyway.
Suguru leads Satoru to the bathroom where he still keeps a fully stocked first-aid kit at the ready. Satoru hasn’t needed it in quite a few years but he knows that Suguru keeps everything in there up to date, just in case.
And clearly he was right to do so.
Satoru obediently tilts his head when Suguru puts careful fingers to his chin and he doesn’t think too hard about the harsh breath Suguru sucks in when he sees his face in all its bruised up glory. Suguru wants to ask, Satoru can tell by the way he clenches his jaw, but for now he keeps silent and concentrates completely on Satoru’s injuries.
He has gotten good at treating them over the years and even though he has gone rusty, the skills are clearly not lost because whatever he does barely even stings.
“All done,” Suguru finally says, his voice quiet, and he levels Satoru with a look. “Any other injuries I have to take care of?” he then wants to know and Satoru shakes his head, though he does get up and lifts his shirt, showing that while there are some bruises there is no split skin anywhere.
“Some ice might help, though,” Satoru offers, knowing that Suguru always does better when he has something to do and he immediately runs off, leaving Satoru to put the first-aid kit back together.
Suguru comes back with two ice-packs, one for Satoru’s ribs and one for his eye and then he ushers Satoru into his bedroom, completely skipping over the comfortable couch in the living-room.
This is absolutely not only for Satoru’s benefit and he feels bad once he realises that he didn’t consider Suguru’s feelings on this matter at all. Of course it would leave him rattled to see Satoru hurt like this again.
They had moved past this years ago and to have all of that brought up again must be horrible for Suguru, too.
“I’m sorry,” Satoru whispers and regrets ever opening his mouth when Suguru flinches.
“Do not say that,” he hisses, glaring back at Satoru who immediately shakes his head.
“No, I mean—” he cuts himself off, taking a deep breath. He has moved past blaming himself for what his family did to him, mostly thanks to Suguru, and so he gets why Suguru would be this angry right now, but that’s really not what Satoru meant.
“I just mean—I didn’t consider how this must be for you. I’m sorry I brought all of it back here,” Satoru quietly explains and it does nothing to lessen Suguru’s glare.
“Satoru, I would rather have you bring all of this here than not knowing what’s going on, than not being able to help, however little. So please, don’t ever say you’re sorry for this,” Suguru pleads and Satoru’s next breath is a little bit wobbly and maybe a bit wet, too.
“Alright,” he whispers, squeezing Suguru’s hand that is still tightly clutched around his and then he slides into bed when Suguru nods towards it.
Suguru is right behind him and this too is familiar in a way Satoru doesn’t like to think about. Back when it was really bad with his family he spent almost more time in this bed than not. Suguru scoots close until he can rest their foreheads together and then they simply are, for a blissful moment, but Satoru knows it can’t last forever.
Suguru has questions.
“You didn’t get into a fight,” Suguru eventually whispers and Satoru gives him a wry smile.
Of course he didn’t get into a simple fight. He got pretty good at fighting, almost always comes out unscathed no matter who provokes him, but he never did quite find the strength to fight back against his family.
“I didn’t,” he simply says, trusting Suguru to fill in the gaps and going by the pained look on his face he comes to the right conclusion.
“Why?” he asks and Satoru sighs.
“I got good at ignoring that they say about me,” Satoru admits and Suguru nods because he knows that already. “I can take it, no matter what they say about me. Because it’s not true.”
The last part is more of a question than he would like but it seems as if his raring insecurities are still there.
“Of course it’s not true. Nothing what your family says about you is true,” Suguru immediately reassures him and Satoru closes his eyes because he does not want to see Suguru’s face when he speaks again.
“I can’t stay quiet when they talk about you, though,” he admits, breathes the words into the scant space between them and he feels how Suguru goes stock-still.
“What?” Suguru’s voice shakes and when Satoru opens his eyes again the look on his face is so pained that it makes Satoru’s eyes burn.
“They started talking badly about you a few weeks back,” he explains. “And while I have gotten so damn good at ignoring what they say about me, it turns out I can’t do the same when it comes to you.”
“Satoru, no,” Suguru gets out. “No! You got hurt like this because of me?”
“It’s not—Suguru,” Satoru rushes out because this is so not what he meant. “It’s not because of you! It’s just—you’re so important to me that I simply cannot stand them badmouthing you.”
“You have to! Satoru, you absolutely have to! What does it matter what they say about me? You can’t get hurt like this because of that. You need to just accept it if you can’t fight back!”
“Sorry, Suguru, can’t do that. It’s not right, what they say about you, and I will not allow it. They don’t get to do that. I don’t care what happens to me but they cannot talk about you like that.”
“I care what happens to you!” Suguru almost yells out and Satoru is taken aback by the sheer panic in his eyes. “You think I want to see you like that? You think this is easy for me? And to know that it’s because of me? Satoru, please, please don’t ever talk back to them again, don’t ever even go there again, I can’t see you get hurt like this again.”
“You know I have to go there once a month,” Satoru replies because he’s not getting out of that arrangement any time soon.
“Then learn how to fight back!”
Satoru doesn’t say anything to that because it’s been so long now and he still can’t find it in him to hit his father like he hits him. He has the strength, he has the speed and the technique, but he can never bring himself to do it. Shoko once accused him of being a sentimental bastard and for all the Satoru hates his family, she’s probably at least somewhat right.
Or maybe he just doesn’t want to be like them.
Suguru seems to interpret his silence correctly because his face falls.
“Then at least just accept it. Satoru, it doesn’t matter what they say, just take it and then leave. We can go for a spar afterwards so you can get it all out of your system, but please—”
“No.” Satoru’s voice doesn’t allow room for argument. “I will not allow them to do that.”
The things they say about Suguru—about the one person who has always had Satoru’s back—are so vile that Satoru doesn’t even want to repeat them here and he is absolutely not going to overlook it either.
That’s just not in his nature.
“Satoru,” Suguru breathes out, his voice shaking again and Satoru scoots close.
“I can’t, Suguru, don’t you understand. They are talking bad about you and that’s just—no. I won’t allow it.”
“I’m not more important than your health, Satoru,” Suguru gives back, fisting his hands in Satoru’s shirt and even like this he’s mindful of Satoru’s injuries.
“To me you are,” Satoru simply says, because it’s the truth and maybe it’s finally time that Suguru hears it. “You are everything to me. Of course this is important.”
Suguru blinks at him, once, twice, and then he lets out a shaky laugh.
“This is how you confess now? Bruised and beaten and with me scared out of my mind for you? Really? That’s the moment you chose?”
Satoru shrugs awkwardly. He knows it’s bad timing, and he knows it’s not that important anyway, because they already are everything to each other and a confession is hardly going to change anything, but since it seems that Suguru doesn’t understand—or doesn’t want to understand—it felt important to say it now.
“Better late than never?” he tries and Suguru closes his eyes as he moves even closer.
“I would take never over having you hurt,” Suguru confesses quietly and for a split second Satoru thinks that he was living in a delusion all these years, that he doesn’t mean as much to Suguru as Suguru does to him but then he realises just what Suguru said.
Satoru is so important to him that he would never address this thing between them if only it meant he would always be healthy and unhurt.
“Agree to disagree on that,” Satoru mutters and tilts his head so he can press a kiss to Suguru’s mouth.
“This is not something I’m going to let go. You are going to learn to ignore what they say about me,” Suguru tells him and it sounds so much like a threat that Satoru is taken aback for a moment.
“Or what?” he then dares to ask and Suguru gives him a wicked grin.
“No kisses when you are bruised,” is what he replies with and immediately Satoru pouts, making his lip break open again.
“Shit,” he hisses and Suguru raises a hand to cup his cheek in it.
“I’m sorry,” he apologetically says but Satoru isn’t about to let a split lip keep him back from what he really wants.
So he leans in and this time he captures Suguru’s lips in a real kiss.
“I have to know what I could be missing in the future,” Satoru says when they part and it’s enough to make Suguru snort out a breath at least.
It almost feels as if things are okay, even as his ribs continue to hurt.
“Satoru,” Suguru whispers and Satoru just knows that another argument is going to come out of his mouth so he quickly closes it up with his own again.
“Later, okay?” He’s under no illusion that Suguru is simply going to let this go but for now he’s had enough.
He’s tired.
“Alright,” Suguru immediately agrees and pulls Satoru closer, slots him against his body as if he belongs there and Satoru melts against him.
It’s the best place in the entire world, Satoru is certain of that, and he wouldn’t trade this for anything.
There will be more talks and probably even a fight or two with Suguru later but for now Satoru is safe and warm in the arms of the only person he has ever felt that way with and what more could he really ask for.