Chapter Text
“Boss, what the fuck is that on the couch?” Kaz had a pretty good guess, but he wanted John to acknowledge the cat-eared creature lolling about in their apartment before going off at him. Just in case it was him going crazy because Kaz had made it pretty damn clear this apartment wasn't going to tolerate John's stray adoption habit like the old place did.
“Hmm, he's a cat, why?”
“That's not what I meant, and one that's not a cat, two, what is it doing on our couch?”
“Did you miss the ears? Of course he's a cat. Anyway, he was hungry so I gave him some food- it's not like we have anything worth stealing so why not let him sleep here instead of on the street.”
Well in a sense it was a cat, but the size disparity should have been a clue this wasn't like bringing home a stray kitten in a box.
Getting that across to someone like John however, was a lost cause. Anyone who'd seen how the man raised dogs could tell little things like risk awareness and size differences almost never factored into the man's thought process. Which was a problem seeing as it usually ended up with some hundred-pound mutt that could probably eat a small child being treated like a harmless chihuahua and acting accordingly. Cute when it tried to cuddle, not so cute when it knocked someone down the stairs just trying to say hello.
Of course the man wouldn't see the difference between bringing home a cat and bringing home something with cat ears that was widely considered an exotic pet.
Thinking about it, there wasn't really any good response that'd talk him out of it, still Kaz felt some obligation to at least attempt to point out the logistical issues. Eviction and legality asside.
“Where are you even going to put it?”
“Well we've got a couch and he seems to be using it just fine,” John said it like it was obvious, ignoring all the other problems at hand. “He only needs a place to sleep, it's not like I brought home a dog. He'll be fine, we can talk about this more in the morning.”
“ffff, just- ugh, you're impossible. We'll talk about this tomorrow.” Frustration aside, Kaz could appreciate that the man had a long day coming up and needed the sleep. Paying rent came before fighting John on his shitty habits.
And once John left for bed, Kaz could have some time to think about how to make the man appreciate that their shithole apartment was tiny enough with two people, never mind trying to fit a third.
Kaz didn't quite feel like shutting himself up in his room yet, and though the interloper was still occupying the shared couch, with the conversation tabled and Boss vouching for the guy, Kaz supposed he could handle sharing for a bit.
Kaz had never actually seen a kemonomimi in person before, sure there were plenty of photos and advertising, but that was a whole lot different to being in the presence of one. It was like meeting a horse, you knew they existed, probably saw pictures occasionally but unless you lived in the right kind of place or took a trip, you likely never actually saw one in person, let alone ended up meeting one.
It wasn't until he was closer that Kaz realised the animal-man was absolutely tiny. Probably not even five feet tall standing on his tip toes, and yet, despite that he was doing an effective job of taking up a whole couch even though it'd worked as a bed for Kaz himself more than a few times in the past.
“Shuffle over,” Kaz instructed, grabbing two furry feet and a tail in one hand to nudge the sleeping body down a bit further on the couch.
The man's eyes snapped open, only a fraction of a second before his face contorted into a snarl and with a hiss, Kaz found himself with three bloody claw marks across his forearm.
While Kaz managed to avoid any truly emasculating sounds, he did need to bite his tongue not to shout. Without thinking, Kaz took a swing in retaliation.
This was, in hindsight, a terrible idea. With his arm right back in range of the man's claws, it just got grabbed with all four sharp clawed limbs. Finger claws dug right into his fist, foot paws kicking out at his forearm.
This time Kaz yelled, the sound was met with an equally cranky cat-like yowl that quite frankly anything that looked that human should not have been able to make.
With his free hand, Kaz got a grip on the man's shirt, trying to yank him off without getting more claws, or even teeth in him. Something that was protested to loudly and earned him another swipe.
That was when John intervened.
Having dragged himself out of bed in only his boxers to pull the two apart. John made it look easy, unhooking the extended claws from Kaz's flesh, lifting the far smaller man up, away from Kaz and putting him down without receiving a single scratch himself.
The small man simply flopped back down on the couch, ears flat and tail flicking as he started licking his bloody finger tips. Looking a little less human with claws extended and pupils blown so wide his eyes looked black. He was making some sort of growling noise in his throat, but he wasn't actively seeking blood, for now at least.
Kaz wasn't going to trust him nearly as far as he could probably throw him to not abruptly change that. Though now he didn't have talons lodged in him, Kaz was much more concerned with nursing his bleeding flesh.
“Be nice Kaz, Ocelot doesn't need your shit right now,” John warned like it was entirely Kaz' fault.
“What!?” Kaz found himself at a loss for words, in an attempt to get his point across he gestured at John, then the hell-beast, and finally his own shredded arm before throwing his hands up and storming out. Or possibly just hurrying to get himself to the bathroom to stop the bleeding before he dripped any more blood on the carpet.
With Kaz gone, John knelt down next to Ocelot's spot on the couch. One-handedly rubbing behind his ears, smiling as pointy ears started to prick back up again.
“He's not always that bad I promise. Kaz just needs to get used to you. He won't hurt you, but I don't know if he's seen one of you before- so only kick his ass a little if he's being an asshole.” John had known Ocelot long enough to know better than to say he was concerned outright. Kaz was very nearly twice Ocelot's size, and Ocelot was on the tall side for a kemonomimi. No matter how fast, strong, or good Ocelot was, there was still a major size and weight advantage that wasn't in his favour.
Kid liked to imagine he was a fucking lion.
“As long as he doesn't try to hit me again,” Ocelot snorted before his voice trailed off into a deep purr, leaning his head into the ear rubbing. “Or grab my feet.” With that mention, Ocelot tucked his furry paws under his body, curling his tail around his legs.
“I think he learned his lesson, I'm going to head back to bed but wake me if he's giving you more trouble, okay?”
“mm,” Ocelot made a vaguely affirmative noise before yawning wide, baring his inhuman teeth. “I think I'll just scratch him again.”
“Well if that doesn't work, you know what to do. Night”
“Night.”
And with that John was able to go back to bed.
While painful, Kaz' injuries only needed a whole lot of bandages and antiseptic. Going to bed sore and angry, he'd woken in an according bad mood. That said, breakfast went smoothly enough despite the interloper, possibly because 'Ocelot' slept through the whole thing and John was long gone before Kaz woke up.
When Kaz came home however, it was a different story. Having had some time away, he'd had time to cool off and actually think about the whole incident, he was all geared up to apologise and try a new start when he saw the mess.
Feathers were everywhere, trailed from the street side window, to the couch, then finally into his room. There, sitting in the bed was a small pile of feathers, blood, and bones. Sprawled out next to the mess was the cat himself, licking blood from his finger tips for the second time Kaz had seen him doing so.
When Kaz walked into the room, it seemed like both of them froze at the same time.
Ocelot looked up and stared at Kaz, hunching his body down as his unblinking eyes went pitch black and his striped tail whipped back and forth.
Kaz considered for a moment, on the one hand, there was /his/ bed, on the other hand, attempting to remove the growling hell beast and dealing with Ocelot's claws again.
With the options in mind, particularly in consideration to the bandages all up one of his arms, Kaz decided Boss could deal with this shit. Both the cat and the mess, in the meantime he could catch up on TV and have a few much needed drinks.
It was a few hours before John would get home anyway, as much as he hated ignoring the problem, he didn't need the stress right now.
“Boss, your cat's left a 'present' on my bed,” Kaz informed John as soon as he got in the door.“You brought him home, you can clean it up,” he added. The 'when's he leaving' could wait until after dead bird left overs got cleaned up.
“Kaz, Ocelot isn't a pet, he doesn't belong to anyone, he's a person-”
Kaz cut him off, “I don't care, it's been a long day and I got home to dead birds on my fucking bed. It doesn't matter if he's a person or an animal, you brought him home, his messes are your messes.”
“I'll take care of it, I see why you got mauled last night though. Dunno how you expect to not get attacked if you're going to be a dick like that.”
“Talk after you've gotten rid of it.” Kaz knew he was being an arsehole but honestly at this point it seemed justified in the context of John and Ocelot's bullshit.
John got the message and grabbed some gloves from under the sink before heading into Kaz' room to handle the issue.
There was just a slight problem.
“There's nothing here Kaz,” John poked his head out of the room to elaborate, “if he had a bird here, it's cleaned up.”
Turning to check behind the couch, it seemed there wasn't much left of the feather trail either, despite some stray down caught in the carpet. Kaz was just a little mystified at how something Ocelot's size had managed that without him noticing,
“Fine then, get in here and we'll talk about this bullshit,” Kaz invited John back to the shitty little living room they shared. No matter how impressed he was, the whole sitting John down and making him actually listen to a talk was kind of necessary. Even if it just ended up being Kaz explicitly removing himself from any personal responsibility for the situation.
Almost as soon as John sat down on the couch, Kaz caught a vaguely yellow shape in his field of vision. Though he hadn't seen him standing before, he was starting to develop an instinctive reaction to seeing the silhouette of those pointy ears. Kaz braced himself for another confrontation.
Only for Ocelot to walk right past him.
Instead Ocelot hopped on the couch next to him, or more accurately, half on, half next to John. Long, spotted, inhuman feet sprawled well on to Kaz's side but that was largely unimportant compared to watching this creature that looked for the most part like a small but grown man casually perch himself practically in his room-mate's lap and start rubbing his head up against his chin.
Kaz had thought caught a hint of purring when he'd found Ocelot eating that bird on his bed, he'd dismissed it as his mind playing tricks, but now he could tell Ocelot was definitely purring. A loud, incessant rumbling while even the most remote concept of personal space was completely and utterly ignored.
“Is he always like that with you?” It was hard not to sound incredulous, but Ocelot seemed like a completely different creature now compared to Kaz' previous run ins.
“Huh, why?”
Of course John would be confused.
“So you just let him do that?” Kaz clarified, hoping just maybe what he was getting at would penetrate. It wouldn't, but Kaz could dream.
“Don't be culturally insensitive Kaz, you never seen how cats interact with friends?” John said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world, just like how he'd tell someone his bad tempered tank of a bull terrier he used to have was the sweetest and gentlest dog in the world.
“I don't think that's a culture, but fine, I'll take your word for it.” Fighting him on that tone was a huge pain, and Kaz wanted to get to the all important question,“when's he leaving?”
“Well I can't just throw him out on the street... Maybe 'till he finds somewhere safe to stay?”
Mother. Fucker.
“Does he even have a job?” Kaz said out loud before abruptly realising how stupid that question sounded, how the fuck would an animal get a job, so he clarified, “Whatever, I know I can't actually stop you. You're paying for him and cleaning up after him. Just... keep him out of my way and out of my stuff. If the landlord kicks you out, it's your problem.”
“Really? Great, thanks Kaz.”
If Kaz could strangle John, he would have.
Instead, Kaz settled for removing himself from the situation, “You're in charge of dinner tonight, so wake me when whatever you order gets here.”
John was long since banned from cooking, ever. So his turn for dinner was always take out, letting him pick wasn't the safest choice in the world but Kaz could live with it tonight. He wanted a nap more than he wanted to guarantee whatever John ordered would be fit for human consumption.
The feathers and the bird were all gone, just like John had said. It would have been better not to see something eating a raw animal on his bed, but this wasn't actually the first time and at least Ocelot had cleaned up after himself, unlike certain other people and/or animals. (Kaz never did prove if it was one of the dogs and John had insisted they'd never.)
Flopping down on his bed face first, Kaz let himself go completely limp as the tension started melting out of his muscles.
He had very nearly dropped off when he caught a whiff of a sharp, acidic odour. Surely John would have noticed a smell like this when he was in here... It was pretty strong, even though it took Kaz a few seconds to recognise what it was himself.
“BOSS!”
Kaz was going to kill John and that cat.