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Chapter Text

Selene has heard it a few times from her father.

"That Malfoy boy, he's doing well for a runt. Why can't you be like her, my daughter? Let's not lose any of our places in the seats close to the Dark Lord!"

She could care less about the other things he said, but it was everything about Draco Malfoy that would always gain her attention. If the enemy had Harry Potter on their side, the Death Eaters had Draco, the leader of the Slytherins amidst the teenage battle of houses in Hogwarts.

She often heard students, other Slytherins, exchanging whispers of awe in their voices, telling each other how brave Malfoy was to be able to get close to the Dark Lord. Every time he steps into their common room, he would attract stares of admiration, disbelief... and fear.

No one was yet sure that Lord Voldemort had come back from the dead. The Slytherins had inklings, telltales from their parents of noble blood but they mostly kept their mouth shut. It was important to keep things under the rug until the time was up. Whatever the plan was, they were all leaving it to Malfoy who had the trust they couldn't have for they have not even seen their leader for themselves. He is nothing more than a figure, a symbol that they do not have the right to behold.

But Selene knew better. She was never one to be a part of the crowd, but she listens and watches a lot. And lately, she's been keeping an eye on Draco Malfoy since the first day her parents decided that she wasn't good enough to share the same school as the silver haired boy.

Selene was a death eater by name but not by choice. She didn't want to be a part of anything, not in the ranks of the pure bloods nor against them. She thought them all to be stupid, everyone of them. But she was also afraid, so she chose the most logical side. She chose the one she thought would win. But with Malfoy, she had her doubts.

She has seen him stare into nothing, hear him mumble incoherent words to himself in the middle of the night by the fireplace when everyone was asleep. Malfoy didn't seem like the confident boy her father told her about. He didn't look brave or like a leader. Instead, he looked scared.

One night, as she was sneaking into the common room, she found herself in between the safety haven of the curtains, trapped in a cramp space that she never expected to be in. After a day of pestering the house elves that stayed inside Hogwarts, most of which were servants of her Slytherin comrades, she thought she could safely come back without going to detention. But there was Malfoy, lounging by the fireplace like death himself against the dim light.

What was he even doing there? Probably mumbling to himself again like a madman, Selene thought. She despised people who were all talk but caved in to misery when no one else is looking. It's like looking into a mirror.

Selene's leg felt tired. A cramp was trying to creep in. She sort of forced herself into an awkward position behind the emerald curtains. A little more and she'd buckle into exhaustion.

A thump reached Malfoy's ears. Selene was now slumped on the ground, her knees scraped and her leg muscles aching. She thought of herself as stupid. Now she'll sure to get caught.

"Who's there?" Draco asked. It was unusual, hearing him sound gentler than usual. Though be wanted to act stern, the risk of having the state of himself be seen by others who were already asleep outweighed his urge to shout in anger.

Selene willed the boy to turn the other way. Perhaps a little magic could go in play? She didn't learn how to use nonverbal spells yet, however. There was a possibility that it was already taught in class but she was mostly asleep that she couldn't confirm if that was true or not.

Unfortunately, Malfoy did not turn the other way. He went straight to Selene's curtain, pushing it out of the way to see the sight of the poor girl slumped on the floor. Her pale face turned a bright red in embarrassment.

"You didn't see anything," Selene said.

Malfoy arched an eyebrow. "What?" he asked, confused.

"If you promise to say that you didn't see anything, then I won't tell anyone about you mumbling about letting the Dark Lord down. I also won't, hmmph!"

"Shut your mouth," Malfoy hissed. He had crouched down to put a hand on Selene's mouth and drew his face closer so he could talk to her without raising his voice.

Startled, Selene's eyes widened.

They stayed there for a couple of minutes until Draco was certain that the girl wouldn't shout when he removed his hand away from her.

"Are you threatening me?" He asked.

Selene was frightened enough to quickly shake her head in response.

"Good. I do not like to be threatened. That's supposed to be my job."

This time, Selene nodded. She breathed deeply when he finally let go of his hold of her.

"What are you even doing, hiding behind a curtain like this? Don't tell me, were you spying on me?" Draco asked. "Are you one of those admirers of mine? Were you the one who put a letter in between my books?"

Selene was suddenly too irritated by the assumption that she spoke without thinking. "An admirer? Is that a jest? An admirer wouldn't use blackmail on the person they admired."

"So you were using blackmail on me." Malfoy smirked. Selene resisted the urge to gulp.

The light from the flickering fire behind Malfoy lit up the thin strands of his air that it seemed to Selene they were glowing. He looked like he had a halo around him, something deadly instead of the one an angel had. As his face turned serious, Selene wondered if the expression was once again a farce or is the darkness hiding the truth in the eyes that she couldn't quite see. Whatever it was, the menacing expression was convincing.

"You are not to speak of this, do you understand? I may not talk about it more often anymore, but I have power. I can bring your family down before you could open your mouth. Seeing as I do not even recognize you or your name, I believe that would be very easy."

A tingle made it's way to Selene's spine. What was that? Strangely frightening, yet weirdly thrilling.

That's it. She was going mad.

Malfoy got up before Selene could answer her own question. He was smiling like an innocent boy, but his words said otherwise.

"I told you. I'm the one who does the threatening."

Chapter Text

It was easy for Selene to keep her mouth shut. It wasn’t much of an issue with how Draco Malfoy himself kept hovering over her every move, keen on giving her the occasional warning looks that made her shiver and want to hide in the crevices of the Hogwarts castle.

They say Slytherins don’t have a notable aspect of bravery in their blood, and Selene wholeheartedly agrees. Leave that to the Gryffindors. She will not, at any case, get caught and be put down by the threatening Draco Malfoy, as he say so himself.

That night was their first encounter, the very first of all the conversations that they will not be having anymore starting now.

Everything suddenly made sense by that short exchange of words. Selene finally understood why she hated Malfoy’s guts despite not having been able to interact with him. Now that they have, here was a conclusion: She sincerely hated him to the core of his personality and to that boyish and irritatingly handsome smirk of his that she couldn’t get out of her mind.

They were far too similar to be alone together without quarrelling. They had this quick but weak defense mechanism against people and things that scared them but anything else that they can hold power over, they’d waste no opportunity to belittle and control.

Selene played her games safe. She didn’t like losing and would refuse any that guaranteed her loss. But that didn’t mean her calculations were accurate. Some fights she thought she could conquer, turns out she hardly had any chance. Just like this one.

“Not you again!” Selene half-shouted as she went into the common room as quietly as a mouse, only to be cornered by the silver haired cat brooding in the dark with his wide eyes fixed at the dancing fire. “Do you not sleep at all?”

“Shut your mouth,” Draco told her. It came out as something said in a bored tone rather than a stern warning. “I sleep when I decide to sleep. I don’t see how that matters to you at all. Unless…”

Draco tilted his head slightly, strays of silver hair following the motion and appeared twinkling with the fire’s light. Selene felt a knot in her stomach as the sly smirk made its way to his lips. She knew exactly what that devilish expression meant and what he had in mind to bring this. She wish she could stop him from saying anything but it was too late for that. Not that she could touch his lips to do so anyways. That was out of the question.

“Did you sneak in knowing I’d be here? I wouldn’t hold it against you. It’s so obvious you were eager to talk to me again.”

Selene blanched, sticking a tongue out without a care. Draco hid a smile behind a hand but she was too annoyed to notice. Perhaps it was for the better.

“No way in Merlin's beard am I ever going to be one of your stupid admirers! I’d like to be referred to as a sophisticated and sensible young lady, thank you very much. Your admirers scream nothing but insane and delusional. Those are definitely not me.”

“Fine,” Draco said. “You’ll regret swearing to Merlin about that one day.”

“There’s no way I will.” Selene was determined to win and felt like she did despite Draco backing out for the sake of the argument’s peace, not exactly because he admits he’s wrong.

“If you’re not here to sneak up on me, then why are you loitering around in the middle of the night? I’m surprised Filch hasn’t caught you yet.”

A mischievous glint passed through Selene’s eyes that didn’t escape Malfoy’s attention. He squinted, trying to take it all in until it vanishes like sparks from a live fire.

“I have my ways,” was all she said. “How about you? How come you don’t get in trouble with being awake this late in the night?”

Draco threw his arms back behind his head and sank into the cushions of the chair as comfortable as a master in his own manor. Selene unconsciously crinkled her nose at this, but she didn’t complain.

Classic Draco, having all the confidence to know that he doesn’t look bad whatever he does. That is, until he starts acting as cowardly as he usually does with Potter. Selene had to stop a laugh out of the thought.

“I have a lot of leverage to go around,” Draco said, which evaporated every ounce of laughter Selene had. Classic Draco once again, slapping you with the fact that he had all the wealth you couldn’t have even with your family’s poor attempt of being a pure blood, or so they say.

“Yes, yes, we all know about the Malfoy’s riches, applause to that and bravo! Say, if we get to be friends and hang out like your goons and lackeys, would I get a share of this wondrous wealth you always talk about?” It was a sarcastic suggestion. Selene thought no one would take it seriously.

But there was Draco who, though obviously sly, had every naivety and innocence as a boy who never knew reality like normal people did. “I don’t see why not.” he said honestly.

Selene’s mouth almost gaped open but she stopped herself before the humiliation. Between her and him, it was more likely that she was the weird one for not being the one at the top, for simply not having the privilege he had ever since she was born. “Classic Draco,” was all she could muster.

“Did you say something?” he asked.

“Nothing. Can I sit beside you?”

“Uh yeah, sure.” Draco nodded slightly and turned back to the fire.

Selene sat and made herself comfortable. She waited for a teasing which didn’t came. It was unusual but she was thankful at least. A second after that though, she found it as an opportunity to strike.

“You know, I think I know why you’re here.” Draco gave no reaction to give anything way. This made her want to push his buttons more. “Is everything going well with the Dark Lord? Any dark secrets you can clue me in? I like being into some gossip once awhile. Come on, can’t tell?”

One piercing look from Malfoy and Selene’s mouth clamped shut. He was scary, she thought. How can one turn from teasing to dead serious as if he’s out to murder in just a second? She felt like shivering once again.

“I do not know what you’re talking about, and even if I knew it’s not something for you to know. Trust me, you are better off not knowing anything. Do you hear?”

It took so much from her to look away. It’s like she didn’t have the power to do so. It was a few beats after when she finally looked down at her trembling hands and said yes with a meek voice she didn’t recognize at hers.

Draco got up, clearly exasperated and tired. Gone was the lighthearted air between them. It was replaced by an empty suffocating space. And fire, burning fire that only Selene could feel. For Draco, it was nothing but the cold that seeped into his heart and bones as he left the fireplace and went to his room.

“Goodnight,” he said with a low voice before leaving Selene all alone in the common room.

She didn’t see it the other night, the color in his eyes and the way they spoke without words. They looked desperate, scared but burning with a purpose that was wavering by each second. It was powerful yet confused. It was every bit that was Draco Malfoy.

And Selene was starting to feel the greed of wanting to see it more… and more.

Chapter Text

There was something about Draco Malfoy that was so tempting to crack. Maybe it was his calculated facade masking away the boyish grin that would once in a while show itself when he let's his guard down. Maybe it was how his words were always laced with malice or threats, and yet once in a while he would tease you like any other school boy in a normal school, in a normal age.

Selene had no idea what normal was. Perhaps it is a time where the Dark Lord is not at large, or perhaps it is a place where magic doesn't exist. Much like the muggle world, she once thought, but then banished the idea before it grew.

"You're built for this world, Malfoy," she once told him in one of their nights she now called special. Draco would only scoff, taking her words as a mere jest or a tease.

They were never serious with each other. Selene took that fact for granted, sneaking in truths with the teasing to hide away something that she couldn't quite explain. It was more of a thing that felt rather than thought. Emotions, they were something one can not explain.

It was the truth and Selene felt it. Draco Malfoy was built for a world of magic. But unfortunately, he was not built for this present day—this time of chaos. That last part she couldn't sneak in to their conversations without bringing up Draco's secret.

Perhaps this was another thing Selene wanted to have answers to. What was Draco doing for the Dark Lord? And, if all thing considered, can she do anything to help?

At first it was all for personal gain. "Do everything that you can. Show me how much you deserve to be in the Slytherin house," her father told her. She thought she would do so, more out of spite than being the pride of the Slytherin house that he boasted.

But now, things were different.

"You mean to tell me you never had a friend come over at your house to play? Isn't that a bit much?" Selene asked.

Draco tried his best not to look offended by the barrage of questions. "I did not say no one came. What I meant was that my parents had to approve and most likely than not they will refuse. Overtime I agreed. Kids are rowdy bunches. It would be a waste to have them soil my mother's favorite carpet."

"You speak as though you weren't a kid."

"Well, I wasn't."

There was silence as Selene resisted to laugh after looking so shocked she had to eye the innocently looking Malfoy straight into his soul. But then she felt the sort of stabbing pain like needles in her chest. All laughter bubbling in her ceased into a weight of pity.

"Must've been a boring childhood," she mumbled.

"Not at all. I had a lot of toys to play with. Tens and piles on every birthday and holiday including the dark—" Draco stopped. He didn't have to continue.

The underlying mention of the Dark Lord made the both of them stop breathing. It was as if he was there.

"Do you think he can hear us?" Selene asked. "The Dark Lord?"

Draco stared at the fire. It's heat warmed his hands and he focused on that feeling, thinking he wouldn't have to remember the cold flesh of the man that he supposedly have to worship. He was no god, but to his family he was almost more.

"Maybe," Draco mumbled.

That was the last night that they were ever together. The special late night conversations were no more.

-

The halls have been tense. Selene could feel the tension from the walls of the castle. She could feel the eyes of every student from every other house outside of Slytherin boring their eyes on her, waiting for her to slip.

But most importantly, she noticed Draco.

He no longer smiled. The facade has pushed through and took over him. Fear was written all over him. He never even tried to look her way.

Selene wanted to ask him what was wrong. She had an inkling it had something to do with this secret mission he was always mumbling about. The very same one she once blackmailed him about on that first night that they met in the common room after curfew hours.

She couldn't quite catch him thought. He was always hiding, running away before she could even call him out. He was too jumpy. Selene's presence acted like the opposite pole to his magnet, repelling at all cost.

"He couldn't at least said something."

"Say what?" someone asked.

"Oh, nothing. Just grumbling about the professor. He could've said something about the test before surprising us."

Selene's friend, a Hufflepuff that she's been getting along with after a little mishap in potion's class, looked at her worriedly. "Be careful, Selene. You wouldn't want to get points taken off like last time!" she whispered.

"Oh quit being such a stuck-up," Selene teased.

"I'm just warning you!"

"That you did. Now come on, let's get the next class over with."

Selene and her Hufflepuff friend turned to a corner of the hallway to their next class which was potions. It was a fun class with their new professor, Professor Slughorn, handling it as Professor Snape finally got the position he always wanted. Whatever happened to make that happen, Selene didn't really care.

They were just about a few more steps from the classroom when they heard a commotion from behind.

Moaning Myrtle, known as the ghost of the girl's bathroom who cried endlessly to get attention, shouted loudly for everyone close to hear. "Draco Malfoy! Malfoy has been—!"

Hearing the name made Selene flinch. She turned back without thinking, leaving her confused friend behind.

'What happened to him?' she almost shouted back to Myrtle.

"Draco Malfoy! Draco Malfoy has been hurt! Blood! I saw blood! Oh, how alarming. The Malfoy boy was bleeding!"

Blood? Hurt?

Dead?

Thoughts swirled in Selene's head. It got to the worse as she spiraled into darkness.

"Draco, you big idiot!" Selene fought back tears as she bolted, looking for the silver haired boy.

Chapter Text

There was no blood when Selene visited Malfoy in the infirmary. She heard he was wounded and was gravely injured, but the sight of him sleeping in bed only made her think of one thing. He looked peaceful.

Draco has been stressed about something for the past few days. He has been more aloof and jittery than he already was. He was meaner as well, talking back with the professors. Other Slytherins could not stand his company anymore, even those he usually hung out with.

“What’s going on?” Selene began to ask Draco who was sleeping and did not hear a word.

His chest only heaved up and down in a slow rhythm that both relieved Selene while also making her wonder about the terrifying possibility that he might not wake up.

Perhaps it was a dream, all those nights. Maybe they did not happen. There was no way the one and only Draco Malfoy associated himself with a nobody like Selene. Or perhaps it was a joke. What friendship or acquaintanceship she thought had come out of their nightly talks might have only been because of boredom or stress. She was nothing more than a pastime from the perils of being a death eater.

“I wish we weren’t purebloods. Maybe then we would not be entangled with the dark lord. And yet the thought of being a mudblood is torture as well. Why can’t we have our peace? We’re only teenagers. Why can’t we be excluded in something as dangerous as this?”

Never had Selene wished for someone's safety as fervently as she did with Draco.

She watched over his bed every night, befriending Madame Pomfrey and greeting her every time like an old friend. Her company was helpful, but it was not enough to soothe her anxiety as the silver-haired boy was still unconscious.

Selene kept her visits and sat by the chair beside Draco, pretending they were still in their common room sharing the usual banter. It was hard considering she was the only one who was doing the talking this time. It wasn’t any different from those past nights with her blabber, but she had at least left a little hope that Draco would smile at her and grace her with his short and mean yet equally playful remarks.

There were several visitations, but suddenly, Selene came into the infirmary with her patient gone.

Her heart leaped inside her chest. Draco is finally awake! But where was he?

“He has gone out dear,” Madame Pomfrey told her when she asked. “Perhaps he is going back to the common room? You best hurry along as well as it is getting dark. I hear it is almost time for supper.”

Selene thanked Madame Pomfrey and headed out with anxiety rising in her blood, making her jittery. There were a number of questions she wanted to ask Draco. Who was it that hurt him and why? What was going on with him? What was he planning? Could Selene help? A ton of questions.

But most of all, Selene wanted to know if he was alright. She cannot relax until he convinces her that everything is okay. She would take a lie, anything. Any single proof that nothing bad will happen to him.

Draco was not in the Slytherin common room when Selene went there to check. The other students said they did not see him come in.

She did not know where else to look. The Hogwarts castle was such a massive place to look for anyone missing. There were also secret passages and rooms that she had never been to before. It seemed possible.

Selene did not want to give up but she was left with no choice. By this time she was convinced that Draco did not want to see her. Has she offended him like she feared? It was the most likely reason.

Still, she tried her best to look into every place Draco could be. She went back to their common room a bunch of times and asked the same boys if they saw him pass by. They were probably fed up with the repeated questions because they told her to stop. She did, albeit reluctantly.

All night long, Selene searched the halls of Hogwarts until curfew. She did not mind whether Filch or any of the professors would find her. She did not mind losing a few points or getting into detention. It could not be possibly worse than not finding a missing student.

No matter what the grown-ups will say, for Selene, Draco was missing. He was lost. She was sure he needed someone to find him.

But the night ended. Selene did not see his face or a strand of his hair. In the morning, there was only a funeral to attend.

***

Selene wished she could have found Draco that night. Maybe she could have stopped him. Things could have been different.

Draco was scared. Selene was sure of that. A scared man can do things they do not usually do. A scared boy on top of that? He would do anything to be alive.

Even a mean kid like Draco Malfoy could not possibly kill a person. He was too scared to do that. So when Selene found out years later that he tried to kill the headmaster, she did not believe it. She convinced herself that it was all the Potter boy's imagination. He was always assuming the worst of Draco.

In his eyes and many others, that was who Slytherins were. That those students, the people who belong to Selene’s Hogwarts house, were the cause of evil in the wizarding community of England.

She could not blame them. They have all the reasons to hate the group that caused the death of those they love. Yet she also hated the glares they gave her when she crossed the streets, walked in the stores of Diagon Alley, and quietly attended to her work during the day.

The war was over, but she still could not shake the feeling that some things had not changed. Maybe they never will.

But Selene still hoped that a single night would come and change everything like it had before.

Chapter Text

War had an effect on people. Some of them are evident, like the missing limbs or the burned flesh and skin that left a visible mark on the victims of a fight that never should have been. Others were more hidden, seeping through to the mind like a beast or parasite that was laid as an egg in the brain to rot. A few months and years into the time of peace, those eggs hatched and grew, maturing into the monster that lurked in the eyes of people Selene could not look into.

It was almost five years and yet the image of the Dark Lord was still carved in the memories of those who once knew and feared him. Most witches and wizards, especially those who fought him and were against him, preferred to call him Voldemort as soon as the battle was won. But calling him the lord over her being was a habit Selene had a hard time to shake off. It took her a year. Even now she still came back to the habit of fearing the name despite not truly being one of his followers.

“You’re doing it again,” her Hufflepuff friend whispered in her ear.

She was talking about the tapping which promptly stopped after being pointed out.

Selene’s fingers went on a rhythm that sounded like a code but it was nothing but gibberish nonsense in the name of anxiety. If you listen closely and you notice the searching pair of green eyes wandering above a crowd of strangers, you’d wonder if the code is entirely made up because she looks like someone who needs help.

“He’s not here,” her friend said.

“I know.”

Selene sighed and closed her eyes. Her temples throbbed as her nerves struggled to calm.

“You should probably give up. I don’t think hoping for the past five years has done you any good aside from heartbreak.”

“It’s one way to make sure I’m still alive, however,” Selene joked with a giggle. That made her friend frown. She pried away the glass of martini from Selene and dragged her out of the pub before she made a mess of herself. Knowing her, she was positive that a few giggles would not be the only thing she’d come up with to disrupt the peace of the strangers around them. They were already gaining a few glares, most of them not friendly.

Selene had been infamous for quite a while. It didn’t matter which side she betrayed during the war, what stuck was the fact that she was some sort of traitor and those lots were not someone you should trust. It brought a few lapses with her employment after barely graduating from Hogwarts. Not something she couldn’t handle, but it was still a pain to take care of. It caused a few extra steps that she wouldn’t have had to take if she wasn’t a Slytherin girl.

As she was being held up by the shoulder, Selene heard someone say a name that alerted her senses. The mere sound of it cleared the alcohol out of her mind.

Selene rushed back into the pub before her friend could stop her.

“Did you say Malfoy?” she asked, almost breathless.

A burly man wearing a worn-out brown coat turned his head to look at her. He started from her hair down to the tips of her shoes which were slightly muddied and soiled. She stepped into a puddle when she was being dragged outside. He went back to study her face, still flushed with the alcohol. The man smirked.

“A little too much booze for the night there missy.”

Selene ignored the comment and proceeded to ask again what she had come for inside. “What have you heard about a man named Malfoy, sir? Have you heard any news about him? Please tell me. I must know.”

There was a groan behind her and she felt someone pulling her back. “Ignore her, sir. She’s been out of sorts since we came here.”

“I have not!” Selene shouted although she wasn’t sure who she was talking to.

The man laughed at her. Fortunately, she was too bothered about the hand handling her collar to notice that she was being mocked. She was lucky that she didn’t wear her Slytherin scarf today as well despite the cold. Even though it could lead to more trouble than what’s worth, Selene could not abandon the familiar feeling the emerald-colored scarf used to give her.

Selene was reckless. She was a troublemaker who liked the thrill of hiding after doing her mischief. But after the war, she only felt the fear and not the excitement of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. She became cautious, calculating every move so that she wouldn't have to be roped into any unsavory business she used to have liked in the past. Maybe it was the drunkenness that made her have that audacity again, to be snarky, sassy, and confident in the middle of a society that would judge her if she was.

It felt unreal. All of it. Especially hearing his name.

She didn’t know how she got home that night but she did. She found herself lying in bed while staring at the ceiling. She couldn’t sleep, not when she felt like there was another clue dangling in front of her, something she couldn’t quite reach. It was frustrating to think about but she couldn’t think about anything else.

“Draco Malfoy was working somewhere inside the Ministry of Magic.” That was what she heard as far as her memory could tell her. She didn’t know where in the ministry, why, and for whom, but it was the closest thing she had after confirming that the silvered-haired traitor had long spent his time serving for the crimes that he committed. He was still probably working to make up for what he did. Selene couldn’t picture the guy in the stuffy offices of the Ministry. He was too obnoxious for that.

“But he must have changed after that,” a tiny voice in her head said. She couldn’t shake it off in time to believe that it was somewhat true, in a way. Times have changed. She has changed. Who’s to say that the arrogant boy from her past stayed the same?

There was just no way to hope. Not after everything that happened.

-

“Is there any Draco Malfoy who works in your office?” Selene asked an acquaintance who she knew worked somewhere inside the Ministry. She couldn’t get in after all those years but she did become social enough to know people who were.

“A Malfoy? One of the MALFOY’S? There is no way someone like that would be in our office. While I do see some of the Weasleys pass us by, especially those who became Aurors, I have never seen any of the Malfoy ever since I worked there. There’s just no way.”

“But have you heard of any rumors that he’s working in the ministry?”

The man who wore a thick set of frames adjusted his spectacles and pinched his nose. “If you’re talking about the same person that I think you are, there was probably word going around from the top that got leaked down to us. I‘m not quite sure how trustworthy the information is but it got spread enough that there were no refutes about whether it was a fake.”

Selene pursed her lips. It was good news for her. But it wasn’t enough. She needs to know more.

“Why do you want to know, by the way? Do you know him?”

Selene felt the steady eyes of his slightly shiver behind the glasses as he studied her. She could tell that her answer would press a few buttons in him, maybe spark a small memory. Maybe a massive one that could flip this whole conversation around.

“I was curious. I knew him back at Hogwarts so it was refreshing to hear news about someone from wizarding school.”

The tension immediately loosened and the guy smiled. “I see,” he said. “I hope I was of help. I’ll see you downtown after my shift if I can. Perhaps I could learn more once I get off from work.”

“No, it’s okay. You don’t have to. I’m off to London tonight as well so you might not catch me.”

“Off to another round of frolicking?” he teased.

Selene laughed, although it felt forced when she stretched her lips. “You know as well as I do that it’s for work,” she said.

There were things Slytherin kids had to do to prove that they weren’t a problem as anyone from the death eaters or the likes of their pureblood families. For the first time in their life, they have had to work for recognition of their worth apart from being born into a well-established family. Out there, nobody cared if you were a pureblood. Talent was one thing of course, but what mattered was if they could trust you or not.

Selene was one of the fortunate ones who didn’t have to go to anything close to a prison. Most of those who knew her believed that she risked her life to betray the being who was supposed to have been the most powerful, cruel, and evil of his time.

In truth, Selene was more scared than brave. She didn’t risk her life, she did it to save herself. Cling to the winning side, was what kept her going. This time, it was what kept her alive.

In the end, she still had to work in some place that would prove she turned her evil Slytherin ways and changed to the path of good, whatever that meant. Although not entirely part of the ministry, she landed under the branch of Muggle's works and studies. It was the office led by the head of the Weasley family. She has never met the man, but her work requires her to follow orders passed down from him. Usually, however, she did not have any for Mr. Weasley liked to do Muggle research on his own. One of his fascinations, her coworkers told her.

Tonight was one of those times however when the people at the office had more paperwork to do than time to go on the field. That’s where Selene comes in as the woman in charge of filling in the gaps for any short-of-staff notice.

She walked the streets of London with a confident air that she could not muster through the pavements of Diagon Alley. Her job description required her to note down any particular Muggle inventions that might be out of the ordinary and new. There were so many things that wizards and witches didn’t understand about the way Muggles lived. Machines and technology, for example, a booming industry in the works that Selene believed they should keep an eye on and keep up. Someday, these people who didn’t have any ounce of magic in their blood might overpower those of her people who knew too much and yet far too little.

She shivered at what might have been if things didn’t turn out the way they did during the war. Would these muggles have survived the battle that they didn’t know about? Would they even stand a chance? They were the source of hatred for the death eaters and their lord. What chance did they have to fight them?

It was getting late and the air felt cold as it pricked her bare cheeks. She brought her gloved hands to her face and blew warm air that materialized into visible fog that clouded her vision for a second.

She tucked the small notebook that she was using to jot down necessary information for the night’s expedition into her purse. The night was young but it was getting colder. The crowd was thinning out as Selene went further into the dark alleys away from the busy streets of the center of the city.

She considered it was work done. Although she did not like the idea of it being called frolicking, it was now her chance to take a break and have the feel of being one of the muggles. One of Mr. Weasley’s office policies again. You can not understand a group of people unless you live as they do.

Enjoying the night was the closest she could do to make up for this. Living without magic was an idea she was not particularly fond of. She thought about it but concluded she wouldn’t like living in a house that wouldn’t clean itself. One night without her wand was doable enough to be fun.

She saw a warm light at the edge of the alley and slowly walked towards it to check it out. It was a humble building lodged between two rundown apartments that towered over it like a castle would have on opposite sides. It was too dark to read what was written on the sign on the door, but Selene noticed it was a bar. She saw the glistening glasses of wine and whiskey through the glass window by the door.

With a short hesitation, she walked in, her gloved hands clutched close to her breast.

The inside was cozier than she expected. There was no one inside aside from the bartender who was silently wiping wine glasses with a towel. He didn’t say anything when Selene stepped in. He didn’t bother to take a glance.

“Welcome,” his voice grumbled above the crackle of fire. He seemed to be motioning her to take a seat with the tilt of his head so she reluctantly took the seat in front of him.

For a muggle, he was slightly intimidating. Perhaps it was the fact that he was a man. She didn’t bring her wand today which was careless of her, but wasn’t Careless her middle name? The very idea of walking into an unknown bar already screamed carelessly in itself.

But as the bartender brought her a drink, one sip and her worries were gone. There was something familiar about the cocktail that sent her brain in a place that was nostalgic as the warmth of the flame that crackled in the fireplace behind her.

She thought it unusual that there was an actual fireplace in the bar. Most places should have switched to electronic heaters and air conditioners by now. She was not complaining, however. Its presence was a slight reminder of how things were back at home.

Selene found herself smiling and almost laughing at the thought. She was not cut out for this job. She was tasked to learn about what it means to be a muggle, yet here she was feeling nostalgic over the little things that made her wish she was back to the place where she once belonged.

It was not her stuffy old bedroom with the green canopy princess bed and the dated curtains that she once tore and ruined with a pair of sharp scissors. Her ancestral house was too cold, too quiet to be called home. No, it was the castle, the Slytherin common rooms that she felt the belongingness from. It was her room which she shared with a roommate who pretended she did not like Selene. It was the teasing and the pranks and the gossip with the girls who were called snobs and the guys who were too full of themselves. It was the alliances with the students who were not from her house. It was also those secret nights, those sacred moments in the past that she wished she could have again.

The bell by the door dinged as a new customer entered. The bartender looked up from wiping the counter. Selene swore that he smiled. A sight to see from a man like him. She didn’t check who it was that brought the smile on the bartender’s face but she was a bit curious. Not too much to abandon her sweet drink, however.

The man, as Selene assumed the stranger to be from the slender yet obviously male hands, took a glass of whiskey from the counter beside her without asking for it outright. A regular, Selene thought. How odd it was that they need not converse with words like normal people. Everything about the place was starting to feel odd.

The stranger’s footsteps were light yet definite, the movement sounding calculated and accurate. It sounded like he was someone who minds his manners as if it was ingrained down to the way he walked. His silence confused Selene. When will these two friends, assuming they were, talk?

As the question mark left its dot in Selene’s head, the bartender who had spoken but one word to her let out his grumbling voice again. “Should you be drinking when you’re on the job, boy?”

No answer.

Selene took a cautious sip of her drink.

Then, there was a low chuckle from behind her.

Selene blinked rapidly. Her grip on the glass loosened and the alcohol lodged in her throat like a fire that burned her voice box away. She wanted to talk but she dared not lest she say something she would regret. There were so many things to say but all of them seemed like a waste of good enough words to express the things she felt at that moment.

She was only halfway sure about her gut instinct when the man spoke, confirming her hopes.

“You sure found your tongue when you left the manor. I don’t recall you ever calling me boy before.”

“I have, Master Malfoy, many times behind your back.”

The one and only Draco Malfoy laughed loudly like the schoolboy who once shared her mischievous nights within the safety of the Slytherin common room. It was a nostalgic sound, a symbol of a happy memory. It was also a trigger to the pain that would stab at her eyes to make tears stream down her face with ease.

Chapter Text

Selene made a mental note of everything that could have changed from the Malfoy she knew and the stranger enjoying his whiskey in a bar that was nostalgic yet one she didn’t know. A Venn diagram with contents empty waited to be filled with facts in her head. Her friend labeled it as her being in armor mode, guarded up with walls that hid archers ready to fire at any sign of flagged information. Selene simply called it assessing the situation before, what her friend labeled yet again, an open fire.

The Malfoy she knew was young, ambitious yet inexperienced. There was no way the years still made this truth possible. But the stranger behind her was a man. He drank alcohol and shared hearty jokes with a grown-up like how salary men conversed during their free hours.

Selene grew up through all those years as well. There was no other way around that fate. Yet the Malfoy in her mind stayed the same through the months where her entire being had to be reshaped to fit in and survive.

She couldn’t turn to check how exactly he looked now. She felt like it would ruin something precious.

“How’s the work going?” the bartender asked. Selene almost missed it because of being lost in thought.

Malfoy downed his whiskey before answering. “So so, old champ. Classified information,” he said with a stale laugh.

“Not like that ever stopped you from babbling to me. Are you going to complain about your boss again?”

“I beg you not to mention Granger for the rest of my break time, thank you very much. I’ve had enough of her face since I moved to the office. Two years to be exact. Spare me the torture for one night.”

There was a twinge somewhere in Selene’s chest when Malfoy uttered Hermione Granger’s name. She heard how the muggle-born witch took leadership soon after finishing school and steadily moving up the ranks in the Ministry. What Selene didn’t think about in advance was Malfoy working under her and them seeing each other on perhaps a daily basis.

She knew there was a rivalry between them that was a bit different from Malfoy and Potter’s bad blood. Enough was seen along the castle halls and classroom to prove how they hated each other. But there’s no telling what hate could become. After all, wasn’t that where they started?

Bile rose up Selene’s throat. It mixed with the last gulp of alcohol that she tried to use to down everything to the bottom of the pit of her stomach. The mixture made it worse, making her cough.

For the first time, Malfoy acknowledged her presence in the room. He glanced over at her, hoping to catch a glimpse of Selene’s face who was being cared for by the bartender.

“Are you okay, Miss?” the bartender asked. He gave her a glass of water.

She wasn’t feeling okay, but Selene nodded as the coughing fits continued.

“Are you sure, miss? That sounds like some serious coughing.”

“I’m quite sure. Thank you,” she croaked. She hoped she didn’t sound like the ugly toad she pictured in her head.

Malfoy stood up. Selene felt him draw closer which sent her on edge. Escape was what filled her head. She turned her head to look for the safest route to the exit.

“I think I should be going. Thank you for the drink. It was lovely.”

Selene smiled at the bartender and tried to ignore the towering shadow that was now curious to take a good look at her. The dim lights weren’t enough to give any necessary details and she was too stubborn to turn his way.
Slowly and carefully hiding the shaking hands that were clutching tightly on her purse, she walked to the door without looking back. She trampled on the need to satiate the curiosity of knowing what kind of expression Draco Malfoy was making as she disappeared from his sight.

The door clicked with a close when she was finally out of the bar. The light from outside peered out the glass window showing the serious face of the bartender that was starting to appear kind to her eyes. She swallowed her anxiety and took a short peek. She caught the sight of Draco Malfoy’s silver hair. It sparkled like precious metal with the light of the fireplace behind him. It brought back memories.

The man who was now the Draco Malfoy Selene never knew aligned with the young Draco in her mind, one that she barely scratched the surface. Once she started staring, it was hard to look away. She stared longingly at his neat hair and the way a few stray strands rested on his forehead. He looked tired yet strangely less uptight than she remembered. Perhaps despite his words he wasn’t mad that Granger was his boss. That brought another pinch to her chest.

Convinced that time had frozen for her to indulge in the image of the and only Draco Malfoy, Selene forgot that the man in question could see her through the glass just as clearly as she did him. His grey eyes met hers. The gaze was strong enough to jolt her system. She was caught red-handed like a criminal.

Her face flushed. It was only then that she felt the cold rush into her while the reality of being humiliated settled to warm her insides. She shivered and briskly walked outside the dark alley.

It was getting late. She could catch the Knight bus but the ride wasn’t her favorite. She could apparate back home but it wasn’t one of her best spells as well. She hasn't tried since that one instance she nearly had a heart attack through the panic. Selene didn’t want to risk losing an arm.

“I was wondering when you would say hello,” a voice said behind her.

She stopped walking but her body kept shivering. It was starting to snow.

“Why didn’t you?” Draco asked. Selene furrowed her brows and firmly closed her eyes. “Were you waiting for me to call on you? Well, here I am. So why won’t you look at me? Why won’t you show me your face?”

“You’re still as arrogant as ever. Draco Malfoy,” Selene said through clenched teeth. They were chattering in the cold. “I wasn’t waiting for you to call on me. I simply didn’t recognize you.”

“Then why were you staring at me? Back there by the window?”

“I wasn’t,” Selene continued with the lie and turned to finally face him. “I noticed your hair looked familiar when I saw it from the outside. I was only checking if I guessed right. I thought I saw an annoying ferret. Clearly, I was right.”

Selene smirked in triumph. Looks like she still has the skills despite the pressure.

Malfoy replied with a smirk of his own; a slightly more annoyed version that showed along with a noticeable nerve of anger. What was he mad about? Was the ferret joke too much?

Then she noticed that she was facing him. He was up close and real and he was looking back at her. He was here, not a figment of her imagination and not an illusion of the wind. Or maybe this was a dream and she was asleep in her bed?

“I was looking for you,” Draco said.

Did she hear that right?

“You were… looking for me?” Selene stammered.

“I was. I looked everywhere, almost. Where have you been hiding all this time?”

I was looking for you, she wanted to say but her lips stayed shut. Maybe it was the quivering. She wasn’t confident her mouth would open right to say words just as right.

Selene was rooted in her place when Draco decided the distance was too much for them. He inched closer enough for her to feel and closely see the breath leaving his half-opened mouth. His lips were rosy in contrast with his pale skin. His cheeks were starting to flush as well.

“It was too damn difficult to look for a girl without knowing her name,” he said. “I swear I could have asked that witch Granger but there was a stupid part of me that wanted to hear you say it from your own lips. I wanted to hear you say it, not read it through a catalog that won’t have your voice. I was afraid I had already forgotten what it sounded like.”

“Did you?” Selene asked.

Draco smiled, his eyes misty and glinting. “How could I? When I heard you back at the bar I instantly knew it was you. But you didn’t recognize me like you said.”

“I lied.”

“What?”

“I do remember. I was just scared. I didn’t expect you to still know who I was after all these years. Not after what happened back then. Before, in Hogwarts, back in the infirmary, and everything after it.”

Snow covered her hair and his. Bits went to her eyes and she let them so she could have an excuse from the tears. White blended with Draco's crown and it looked more like accessories to bring him an ethereal glow to his already unearthly stature. He was real and yet at the same time, he didn’t look like he was truly there.

But when he touched her cheeks to wipe the mix of snow and tears away, it was all the proof that he was alive. That the dark lord didn’t kill him. That the Ministry didn’t entirely forsake him. That he was still who he was, perhaps only taller, older, and more sure. He was sure when he walked out of the bar to chase Selene. He looked sure when he touched her, grabbed her by the waist, and hugged her while she cried in silence.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I was mad and stupid. I didn’t know any better. I thought I was doing things right, for me and especially my family. I wanted to prove something, but in the end, I realized it wasn’t worth anything.”

“When did you start talking about feelings, Draco Malfoy? Have the Ministry brainwashed you?” Selene joked although she was still letting out soft sobs.

“No, but maybe you did. You were never that skilled with your threats but you have a talent for making a man go crazy.”

“I… I’m not sure that’s quite…” Selene stuttered, unsure what to say. Red colored her entire face. It stood out like a ripe tomato in the middle of the winter white.

Draco smiled. Just the expression he was hoping to see.

“Now will you tell me your name? I had no clue if you didn’t want me to know or if you forgot entirely. It’s unfair when you keep calling my full name like you just did.”

“I did not say your full name that easily,” she retorted in denial.

“Your name, miss. May I have the honor of knowing what it is?” He was teasing her, she could tell.

“Selene,” she mumbled.

“It suits you,” Draco said as he stared at her eyes reflecting the moon that was looking down on them. He smirked again as he said the next words. “Now, my dear Selene, may I ask for a small favor?”

“What is it?” she asked. “And when did I agree that I am your ‘dear Selene?’”

“The favor, Selene. Let’s focus on that favor.” Selene’s face blushed a few degrees redder with every time he spoke of her name. He couldn’t get enough of it, not with years of not knowing what it was. “Can I kiss you?”

“What?” Surely she was hearing him wrong.

“A kiss, Selene. I would very much like to have one.”

“And if I said no, what would you do?”

“I would make you say yes, of course.” His answer was straight, Confident. He was sure he could do it.

Selene’s ego didn’t like that one bit.

“No, you may not kiss me,” she said. “I will be the one to kiss you.”

Selene took Draco Malfoy by surprise, tugging him by the collar with her gloved hand and forcing their cold lips together in a frozen kiss. Warmth slowly melted them away. It was the perfect kiss she always pictured as a young witch in the Slytherin common room with the same boy in close midst.

“I won,” Selene said with a smile. There was no competition but she felt like saying to see what he’d do.

“Not yet, you haven’t.” Draco chuckled and kissed her again, sweet and slowly, cherishing the moment now a part of the beautiful winter night.