Chapter Text
Jiho
Jiho is in a good place in life. He and Kyung are leading the “dopest” fraternity on campus – according to Kyung. Sure, their frat house may be falling apart from years of neglect and lack of funds – seriously, Jiho has fallen down those goddamn loose stairs on the front porch more times than he has written songs and that’s saying a lot. (Kyung says the shabby house gives them character and determination.) But despite their unfortunate living conditions, they are still one of the top frats in this college and throw the best parties – hence, the lack of funds to fix the house despite the multiple poorly advised and equally poorly executed car wash fundraisers. There is still the wobbly wooden ship in their backyard from that one time they decided to throw a pirate theme party for Halloween, and commissioned a carpenter house to build them an actual ship. It is currently housing random stray cats that come out from nowhere (“they don’t come out from nowhere Jiho. You keep fucking feeding them!”), and collecting dust like a long forgotten war trophy.
Anyway, Jiho and Kyung run this shit tight – their parties are legendary (seriously, a pirate ship), and they are hot items on campus – well, Jiho is, Kyung just claims he is – and most importantly, they always win the prank war against the flowerboy house. Except for the last term when Jiho slipped a little because of exams and the flowerboy house shoved a raw chicken breast to decompose in the air vent, making their whole house smells like rotten meat for weeks.
So, this year, Jiho is out for fucking blood.
Of course, the flowerboy frat has an actual fraternity name with Greek letters and stuff but no one calls them their actual name as long as Ahn Jaehyo and Lee Minhyuk are heading the frat. Plus, they are notorious for only pledging boys who look like they walk straight out of a manga book with their blade sharp jawlines and twinkling eyes. Rumor has it that you have to show proofs of love letters and valentine gifts in order to be considered part of the pledge – a fan club is a guaranteed entry whereas selfie-taking skills and fashion sense are the very basic skills necessary.
Jiho does not know who started this prank war (he’s lying. He knows damn well who started it – it’s the same person who is responsible for half the shit that goes down on this campus and whom he unfortunately calls his best friend.) But it has been going for a couple of years, since their first year second semester, with Jiho’s house coming out on top most of the times because they have Kyung. And they almost always end up at the Dean’s office for the pranks they pull because again, they have Kyung. It was heavily implied that on their second year, two students from the flowerboy house were assigned to seek therapy because of Kyung. Ahn Jaehyo refused to confirm or deny.
But, this year? This year, they are going to smash it in revenge for the rotten dead meat in their air vent that Jiho had to pay out of his pocket for the maintenance to come and clean up. And even then, his clothes and bedspread smelt like death for weeks.
Plus, Jiho has his aces coming up this year.
Ace 1 and 2: Minho and Jihoon. They have finally grown from horny little teenagers into actual college men – the horny part might remain though – and are finally coming in to join the frat. And, they are like the double trouble evil twins from Pokémon (are they twins?) as long as you can get them to stop being dumb for 2 seconds. If they do well this year, Jiho can pass the baton of unsurpassable superiority to them so that his sons can live up to the legacy Jiho and Kyung have left on this campus.
And the most important ace: Jiho and Yukwon started fucking over the summer – persistence does pay off and Jiho finally wore Yukwon down after 2 years. And while Yukwon is usually too pretentious for “this frat shit” as he likes to say, he is also 126% evil under that sunshine smile of his, one of the reasons Jiho is head over heels for the idiot. The only point of concern previous years was Yukwon’s wavering loyalty between the two houses depending on whether it is Jiho or Jaehyo that pisses him off more at a given time. Usually it’s Jaehyo but Jiho has his fair share of fuck ups too. Yukwon once conspired with Jaehyo to put bleaching agents in Jiho’s shampoo bottles – a man does not easily recover from wounds like that.
Anyway, Jiho is hoping that his dick is enough of a persuasion for Yukwon to be on his side this year, and with Minho and Jihoon, Ahn Jaehyo’d better start looking for a therapist himself.
So, they have meetings and stuff as part of initiation and new blood joining in. Taeil even has an agenda typed out and everything, but 10 minutes in and everyone is just trolling around the house, ignoring Taeil’s repeated calls about planning for their next fundraisers.
The karaoke machine has been on for the past hour (yes, Jiho is aware that the meeting has only officially started 10 minutes back), and Minho and Jihoon are yelling into their respective microphones to see who can sing in a lower tone to Happy. The other recruits – Jiho hasn’t bothered to learn all their names yet – are half paying attention to Taeil out of sympathy and half eating everything, including Kyung’s hidden kit kats someone found in the laundry basket. They are lucky Kyung is off doing something somewhere (something = tragic attempts at flirting, somewhere = the new sorority house two blocks down) because Kyung’s love for his kit kats is only outweighed by his love for his own face.
The new kids are all going to fit right in, basically.
Anyway, the main point is Jiho is bored. He has been trying to sext Yukwon with no success – fucker actually blocked him on twitter and is not picking up his calls or responding to his texts. So, he ends the meeting and tells the new guys that whoever that comes up with the first lethal (he has to clarify multiple times that he doesn’t actually mean lethal, and no, he doesn’t want anyone to actually die) prank for the flowerboy frat will get the good bedroom on the second floor with a view of the campus, and most importantly, far enough from all the other rooms so that you don’t have to suffer through Jiho’s sex noises and Kyung’s sugar-high outbursts at 3 in the morning. With that, he leaves in confidence to go harass Yukwon in person.
He finds Yukwon in the library because even after two years, Kwon hasn’t learned how to hide from Jiho, and pesters him until Yukwon gives in and takes Jiho back to his place.
The next morning, he comes back to the house – after amazing sex and totally not amazing breakfast because Yukwon is on a health kick again and has nothing but protein bars – and everything on the first floor of the house is in zip tied hell.
Like, seriously, everything.
The two handles of their fridge are tied together so they can’t open the fridge. Same for all their cupboards and drawers. Their laptops – Jiho doesn’t even know they make zip ties this big to wrap around laptops, what the fuck. All the bottles and cosmetics in the communal shower room are tied together so tightly that Kyung’s pimple cream tube is starting to leak in the middle. The hangers in the laundry room, the water bottles spread across the kitchen counters, their fucking slippers!
And the most infuriating of all, is every piece of scissors and knives they own, zip-tied and laid out on the dining room table like sharp edges of mockery and humiliation.
Jiho swears up a storm, scaring a few of the new blood, and yells at Minho to go and buy new scissors and thinks there is no other solution to this than killing Ahn Jaehyo.
Seunghoon
Being in a frat is awesome and Seunghoon is going to buy Taehyun like a million fruit baskets for roping him into joining one with him. He thought there would be hazing and sex parties and big American dudes who are into things like football, Coldplay and hooters but so far, it has been cool dudes – with ridiculously good looking faces, but still cool – who are more or less chill unless you accidentally bump into them and mess up their selfie angle. (He has said sorry to Minhyuk for roughly 14 times)
“I would like to give a toast to Seunghoon,” Jaehyo, the frat president and unofficial candy and/or weed supplier – depending on your mood, says, raising his glass full of cheap 3-for-1 wine Jinwoo got from the convenience store earlier. “For successfully launching the first attack on Alpha Psi”.
The brothers sitting around him nods, and raises their respective glasses or plastic cups, looking way too dignified for twenty or so people sitting on the floor of a college house. Minhyuk is even wearing a tie.
“Thank you,” Seunghoon takes a bow anyway because what the hell. He’s the man of the hour. “Actually, it’s because of Taehyun. He managed to get the key to that house.”
Taehyun shrugs from where he is half sitting, half clinging to the arm rest of the lone sofa in the room. “Always happy to use my good looks for the downfall of men.”
“We shouldn’t be careless though.” Minhyuk says, delicately sipping at his wine like a mid-forties housewife on Beverly Hills. “You know Woo Jiho is not going to take this quietly.”
“That’s why we need to strike again.” Jaehyo nods, half paying attention and half trying to fix his hair from the reflection on the wine glass. “Any more brilliant idea, Seunghoon?”
“We still have the key to their house, right?” Seunghoon asks.
“They probably changed it.” Seungyoon says. “I biked past their house last night and there is a locksmith van in front of their house.”
“Smart.” Seunghoon nods. “Whatever. I’ll think of something.”
“How is it going with Yukwon?” Minhyuk asks and Jaehyo twists his face dramatically while somehow making it still looks equally beautiful.
“He’s not picking my calls and trying to run away when I see him in person.”
“Such a young talented child wasted away in Woo Jiho’s hand. The dark side is indeed stronger.” Minhyuk shakes his head in complete somberness and Seunghoon wonders if the cheap wine is getting to his head or if the conversation is going to a place that doesn’t make any sense. Not that it makes much sense in the beginning.
“Anyway, apart from Alpha Psi matters, we call you up because we will be holding our first welcome back party next week.” Minhyuk continues.
Taehyun sits up straight, his ears would probably perk up if he is an actual cat.
“Now, this party has an entry fee. We all need to eat and live and buy our cosmetics somehow. So, do your best to get your friends to the party. For the first year pledges,” Jinwoo, Seungyoon, Taehyun and Seunghoon all hold their breaths. “This is your first test. Get as many young and impressionable boys and girls to this party using your charms. Whomever that can sell the most tickets will get a very good prize.”
Taehyun grins while Jinwoo starts rubbing his hands together in glee. Seunghoon is a little scared. But only a little, because he just joined the KPOP club on campus yesterday and he is going to yell at every one in the club until all 72 members buy the tickets from him.