Work Text:
{🎼}
"Flaws are characteristics normally considered frowned upon or undesirable in a person or thing."
We wouldn't want to be friends with an arrogant person, would we? And much less of a self-interested or stubborn person. Even though we all have defects and flaws, we don't like it when everyone looks and points out our mistakes we made in the past and our imperfections in the present.
Words and looks hurt as much as a punch in the stomach.
{🎵}
Izuku falls once again. It was the eleventh time he had fallen that day, just on that cloudy Thursday morning. He couldn't bear to fall again and again, but he had to. His performance depended on that triple twist they put in his tap dance routine because, probably, his teacher decided to surprise the judges.
As he stood up once again after not being able to stand on his feet for a long time to finish the choreography, his colleagues were talking to each other in a circle: "Do you think he can do it? Because I don't think so, see... He is very clumsy and pathetic."
Even though he heard the entire conversation, he pretended it didn't shake him. Izuku had to be strong and prove that he, 26 year old Midoriya Izuku, could be the winner of 'best tap dancer in all of Japan'! Many said that this was impossible, but it doesn't hurt to try, right? He would win that final, even if he had to suffer in the process...
After all, everything requires effort and dedication for your dreams to become real.
— Midoriya, could you come here? – asks the tap dancing teacher.
— I am going! – adjusts his clothes and walks towards the older man.
When he stood in front of him, he noticed something different. His aura was cold and his body language wasn't that good. And the icing on the cake was his eyes, which seemed soulless. That hurt Izuku, even though he tried to hide this knife that his teacher silently stuck in his heart. He was terribly serious, a sociopath perhaps. Izuku knew what he was going to say:
— You can't fail, Izuku.
The greenish one knew he couldn't fail. After all, he needed to win just that competition to be considered the 'best dancer in all of Japan'. Any error or defect will not be tolerated. None at all.
— I know it was a lot of pressure they put on your back, but please don't make mistakes. You were the only one from our school who passed the test for the tournament and now you are in the final after a lot of effort and dedication. Everyone at this school wants you to win. So please give it to us. – Izuku agrees with his head. And he gives a kind of mocking look. What a lie. Only the director, because if it is the students and teachers, he lied badly.
— Is that all, sensei? – A beautiful sarcastic smile, which Izuku made without realizing it, appeared on his face. No one in this school cares about him, besides the principal, even if it was fake, the Bakugō family and his dear mother.
— Yes. And please, be polite to me and the students because I'm hearing things about you: bragging about taking the final and being the only one who passed. Furthermore, your smile and the look you gave weren't appropriate.
Oh. Again he was wrong. It's not his fault for having a lying teacher and for it being something automatic in his system. And the rumors were certainly made by his classmates who always whisper among themselves. He didn't care about school, but rather that he had managed to reach the top thanks to wonderful people. Well, he was near the top.
But he was tired.
{🕺}
After many hours, Izuku decides to go home. It was three fifty-one in the afternoon when he left school. The sky was no longer cloudy, but there were some puddles of water in the park and on the street, which was not busy. He felt alone. And for that reason, he was in the most vigilant mode. He didn't know what could...
— Izuku! – Izuku quickly turns around. It was just Kacchan waving and shouting to get his attention. He was wearing a dark green scarf with orange stripes loosely around his neck that Izuku made for him, cold clothes and was dragging his black suitcase. He had taken a trip to some mountains he liked and climbed them. Izuku saw all the photos Katsuki took there. – Are your tap dancing classes over now? Is it a new schedule?
Izuku laughed. Didn't the 'wise man' remember what he said a week ago?
—What the hell is this now? Are you being sarcastic again? – Katsuki asks with a high volume.
— Did you forget that I'm going to participate in the final of the competition? Oh, oh... I'm disappointed in you, Kacchan. – The blonde is slapping himself on the forehead.
— How did I not remember that? Dude, congratulations! How's the choreography going? – they start walking together, and in the same direction, after all, they lived in the same apartment.
— It's going, right... I'm just having some problems with the rotation. Well, after the triple spin, I need to stand on my feet and support myself after the spin to finish the choreography and...
— Wait! A triple turn, which in the end, you will need to stand on your feet and support? What the ****? - he asks angrily. – Tap dancing is not ballet to have these things.
Katsuki had a point. He has done tap and ballet and has a lot of experience, but then he decided to leave tap school and stick with ballet. Tap dance is more focused on beats, while ballet is more focused on body movements. Both may have a spin, but if you compare the dance styles, they are totally different. In tap dancing it is, at most, just one turn and one beat, whereas in ballet, there are double, triple or more turns.
— It's okay, Kacchan. But I have nothing to do, right? The teacher who put this spin on and the director approved it. Besides, it's not that difficult, I'm the one who doesn't have that much balance.
— Look, if you want, I can give you some tips and stuff. Because I know ballet and this tour will require some techniques other than tap dancing. – He gives a slightly worried look.
— Thank you, Kacchan. You will help me a lot. Thank you for real. We will make it. – Katsuki lets out a small smile.
I don't think I deserve it... But even so, if I refuse Kacchan's help, he would be worried about me. I don't want it.
— By the way, when will the final be? Next week?
Izuku nods his head, replying Katsuki.
— I already bought tickets for you, your parents and my mother. I'm anxious.
— Everything will be fine, Izuku.
{🎵}
— It's bad, more than I thought, Izuku. The problem really lies in your balance. And I thought you were having trouble standing on your toes, not having a problem with the turn itself.
— But, Kacchan, when I was there, the spin was perfect, the problem was staying on my feet when I finished!
Why am I not getting it?
After a lot of effort, it was half past six at night and Izuku still wasn't able to do the twirl, something he had been doing hours ago, back in the dance room. He could feel his legs throbbing, but he wanted more. More effort, more dedication, more balance, more sustenance, more everything. And for the first time that day, he felt like he wasn't good enough.
— Izuku, please calm down. We still have time. Don't Cry. – The greenish one gets scared. Was he crying? When he touches his own face, he feels his tears and, at the same time, Katsuki's embrace.
— Let's take a break, okay? Besides, it's time to start making our dinner. Get up, go.
— No, today dinner is up to you. Tomorrow I do. I have to train more.
— All is well then. If you want any help or anything like that, call me, okay?
Izuku agrees.
When Katsuki leaves the room, Izuku tries once again to do the choreography correctly. Was it very selfish of him to keep training until he couldn't feel his legs? Was it too selfish to walk away from everything to prove to yourself that you can do such a thing?
— What the hell! Why? Why don't I...
Once again, his eyes fill with tears. He was no longer able to carry all this weight after his almost unshakable mask fell. His beautiful and wonderful mask that he put on his face the most, that only Kacchan and Inko knew: the mask of false happiness. His sadness, his panic, his negativity did damage to it that he couldn't resist, falling piece by piece.
— Izuku, is everything... Izuku?! What happened to his legs? – Katsuki asks loudly as he looks at some bruises and his best friend's sprained ankle.
Izuku returns to reality and feels a lot of pain. Kacchan looked worriedly at his legs. They were horrible and ugly. There were many purple bruises on his toes, thigh and knee, while the red bruises were on the part where the fibula is. His ankle was sprained.
— Kacchan? What happened? – Izuku asks stuttering with a disoriented face.
— You should know! I wasn't here when you fell like fifty times.
— Wait, fifty times?
— Yes! Why? By chance, don't you remember the times you fell, Izuku?
Did he fall so much that he didn't even remember the falls? Katsuki says something that Izuku didn't understand, because he spoke too quickly and quietly, and left the room. Looking once again at the state of his legs, he remembers that the competition will be next week on Wednesday. Is it time? He think that...
— Even if it won't do much good, it's better to do it. – The blonde opens the first aid kit. – I'll clean the cut I just saw on your knee, take care of the bruises, bandage your leg and then we'll see your ankle at the hospital. Okay, Izuku?
{🕺}
— Midoriya, how's your choreography going? – his teacher asks suspiciously.
— It's going well! I just need to have more balance to support my weight on my toes.
— That is great! Keep it up.
As the teacher walks away from Izuku, the greenish one feels several stitches in his legs again. Yesterday, he didn't let the blonde do his bandages and said he would do and fix them himself, after all, people who do some type of dance must learn how to do bandages and take care of themselves, because something unforeseen could happen and a wound could remain open. So, Katsuki accepts this lame excuse, however, he leaves the set in Izuku's room since he didn't have one. He took care of all the injuries in the worst possible way: he wrapped his leg without any care thinking it would help. He didn't want Katsuki to worry about him like that, he didn't want to waste Katsuki's time on 'trivial' things like that.
The greenish one didn't go to the hospital because he would lose time to practice the choreography and he could last until Wednesday, after all, it wasn't a big deal, right?
Coming out of 'focused' mode, Izuku sees his classmates approaching him with friendly looks until the teacher leaves the room. As soon as the door closes, as soon as the teacher leaves, the rascals party. The biggest one pushes Izuku to the wall.
— Do you think you can win this competition, Deku? You're such a dreamer, man. Understand: you are incapable of doing this. Just accept that it hurts less.
At that moment, Midoriya Izuku was no longer the same. This is the word that describes his situation so well: incapacity. He was incapable of doing that, he didn't have the ability to do that spin. "The problem isn't the choreography, the problem is you." Until that moment, Izuku realized that he never blamed the choreography for being difficult, but for himself not being able to do it and always punishing himself when things are not going well for himself or for the people around him.
His anxiety aggressively knocks on the door, wanting to enter.
— Aren't you going to answer anything, Deku? Didn't your mother give you an education? How sad, right? – Izuku gets up and, unable to take it anymore, shouts angrily:
— Don't talk like that about my mother, the warrior who had to take care of me alone, you idiots! – he could talk about him freely, but about his mother...
— Is this so we feel sorry for the Midoriya family? Of all these people in the world, why should we feel sorry for a 'dummy' like your mother who didn't even raise her own son well? Maybe your father could have educated you better.
Izuku felt anxious in that environment, he couldn't stay there any longer. His lungs were almost bursting out of his rib cage with every breath he took and he thought he would die breathing right there. He needed to go home.
— What's going on here, Izuku? – a loud voice asks as he opens the door with force.
When the bullies look, they feel chills in their bones, it was Katsuki with the director by his side, who was looking very serious at the five of them. Anxiety becomes the most dangerous thing than Izuku's classmates: he was unable to breathe, causing him to feel despair that made him cry in anguish without being able to say anything or breathe in properly. Katsuki looking at this immediately helps without question.
— Izuku, look at me. What can you see? – he doesn't touch any part of the greenish man's body, lowering himself to be at the same height as Izuku, who had fallen when his anxiety opened the damn door. Katsuki knows how: he is more terrified when touching him at first and questions about what happened, preferring only questions and activities, such as "what do you feel?", "tell me, how many colors do you see?", "two sounds that you can hear". If it doesn't help, he will prefer a normal hug or a bear hug, if the reason for his crisis is a bad feeling, this calms him down, he feels safer, nothing can hurt him.
Izuku tries to turn his head to see Katsuki's face and respond to him, but to no avail, meaning that this feeling has completely invaded his body. The blonde constantly sees Izuku trying his best to do everything, even if they are trivial. This is a very beautiful characteristic of Izuku in Katsuki's opinion, but it is slowly killing him, as we can see now. Without hesitation, Katsuki gives Izuku a hug.
This was what he was waiting for all along: a hug, a show of love that said he wasn't alone in this. Izuku screams because of the emotional pain he was feeling, the weight on his back was disappearing with every scream he made and every minute he was hugging Katsuki. Izuku didn't care about other people's opinions at that moment, he just wanted to take away all that anguish, all that pressure that was killing him in silence, slowly, without anyone noticing.
Sometimes silence can be a cry for help.
{🎵}
After sorting out their issues with the bullies, they went home. Izuku was exhausted from everything: from having cried and screamed in front of people; of his lungs, which were now aching after several attempts to breathe; to do that choreography; of making Katsuki waste his time with him and having crises. "Why did Kacchan go there at..."
— Because I wanted to see if you were okay, now. – the blonde responds bluntly. "Wait, did I speak too loud?" – You're very easy to read, Izuku. Plus, I'm your childhood friend, so I know you more than anyone else. Maybe more than his own mother.
Izuku lets out a laugh. The worst part is that it was true. Most of his life has always been playing, talking or dancing with Katsuki in his childhood, adolescence and now, of course he took away the playing part, but it was always like that.
— You know you could have warned me about the bullies, but you still didn't. – Katsuki looks sad and, at the same time, worried about Izuku. – I know you don't want me to worry about you, however, these are serious things, Izuku. What if I wasn't there when you had an anxiety attack? Izu, you could have died.
Silence prevails at that moment and the atmosphere becomes a little darker, more so than the sky that was darkening. Maybe Kacchan was right.
— I'm very sorry. – Izuku breaks the silence and because of nervousness, he starts to stutter. – I know I should have told you, but my mind wouldn't let me. I know this sounds weird, but it's the truth. I'm very sorry. – tears silently run down the greenish man's cheek, with every second the tears increased in quantity and volume.
Katsuki opens his arms and gives his childhood friend a big hug.
He was suffering and I didn't realize it. Sorry, Izuku. I'm a terrible friend.
— If I had told you before, this wouldn't be happening. I'm really a 'deku'. – the blonde is paralyzed. "Did one of the bullies tell him that?" Katsuki breaks the hug, holding his friend's shoulders.
— Who told you that? – he asks, clearly angry.
— Can we forget about this for now, Kacchan? – Izuku lets out a sad smile, mortifying the blonde. - Let's go home.
Katsuki takes his hands off the other's shoulders and they walk to their apartment. He was angry: since when did the verbal abuse start? Izuku has always hidden his negative feelings from the people he loves, and with Katsuki it would be no different. "Your unshakable mask has broken, Izuku. How long have you been trying to rebuild and hide it?"
Maybe it could be from when it all started, from the first word that was thrown in front of him: deku.
{🕺}
Days passed, and the day of the competition arrived. Izuku's ankle was mostly healed, along with his bruises that he had gotten last Thursday. He was ready, his triple spin was perfect, the end of the choreography was finished. Now it's not long before Izuku finally enters the stage.
— I confess I'm nervous, Kacchan. – Izuku turns the steering wheel to the right. - But everything will be fine, well, I hope.
— Everything will be fine, Izuku. You trained hard to get here. You will get it. What's more, our concern has already been resolved: your ankle is better and your spin is amazing! – They laugh a little. The blonde needed to break the tension that was on the other boy somehow, that's what Izuku always admired about him: his concern about him and his family. It calms him down deeply.
After laughter and bad jokes, they arrive at the location. Outside the car, Izuku shivers, and Katsuki notices, hugging him with just one arm.
— Know that you worked hard to get here, you deserve it all, it was worth suffering to achieve your dreams. Nothing is impossible if you are seeking your dream more every day. You can do it, Dekiru. – Izuku's heart beats faster. These words were the fuel for him not to give up right then and there. His eyes water.
— Thank you, Kacchan. – they hug.
— You're welcome, Izuku. Just calm down and everything will be fine. – they leave the hug. – I will stay in the audience. Our parents will be coming soon. Trust your potential, Midoriya Izuku.
The greenish one runs towards the dressing room door, he waves to Katsuki, who waves back.
Everything will be fine.
Izuku enters the dressing room and watches his 'opponent', from afar, doing... makeup? Soon he is interrupted by the organizer, who doesn't seem happy to see the young man. "He doesn't like me?"
— You're Midoriya Izuku, aren't you? – he looks Izuku up and down, with an uncool look. "Is the guy mocking?" Izuku rolls his eyes.
— Yes it's me. – he responds fearfully.
— Right, you're not what they say about you: a kind and polite boy. That's why I thought you weren't going to be him. Returning; Let's fix you up. You will stay in room seven. – he points to the said room. – You won’t leave until nine o’clock, when your presentation will take place. – the man goes to the other participant.
Izuku looks indignant: what had he done wrong? He even stopped himself from saying anything bad. Maybe... well, Katsuki got a bad rap in this place, after all, they blamed him for something the blonde didn't do and would never do: sabotage the lights of a performance at our old dance school, Aldera Júnior. And as it was something unacceptable by the theater, it had a huge repercussion among the employees. Maybe this man saw Izuku saying goodbye to Katsuki, he shouldn't have been so stupid: the people you talk to don't tell you about your personality, for him.
Upon realizing that he would still have to perform, Izuku goes to room seven and gets ready for the presentation that would take place in the next few hours. His outfit was a bright green suit, a white dress blouse, red tie with black dress shoes: everything Izuku had planned from the beginning.
Everything there was no longer a dream of a child and teenager, but a plan in the life of a young adult. His effort and dedication were not in vain in this life. Izuku's dreams were too big for him, but what now? He was about to reach the top of the clouds, close to the Sun, which burns his skin as it approaches. His heart beat with every stomp of his feet. His dance was perfect, the audience's eyes were surprised and the judges admired every step. Definitely, at that point, Izuku no longer cared about whether he would win this competition or not, but rather about not having given up on his dreams and having special people by his side supporting him no matter what.
— I thank Kacchan, his family and my dear mother for always being present throughout my life and for supporting me in everything. And without them I wouldn't get this award. Thank you. – Izuku bows with tears running in his eyes.
Everyone applauds. Inko rushes to the stage to hug her beautiful precious son in tears.
— So proud of my baby! – She gives a few kisses on the cheek and right behind her, the Bakugō family appears to congratulate him.
— I said everything would be fine, Izuku! But because you're so negative, it kept bothering you. – makes a hooves on the greenish one – I'm happy that you received the award, you deserve it.
That night, he had no words to describe how he was feeling with so many emotions. Just be thankful that everything went well. Everything seemed to show that Izuku would make a mistake and wouldn't be able to follow his dream, but that didn't let him get down and with the help of incredible people, everything is now no longer a dream but a wonderful reality.
"Dancin' is what makes me whole."
Aaron Smith - Dancin