Chapter Text
How many failed attempts had it been now? There was the time he tried to crash Cupid's meeting, that time they were talking about what movies were good, the invitation to his mansion that Juan had TURNED DOWN, and the recent spur-of-the-moment one, in which Juandissimo was hit right in the face with a soccer ball as he was about to ask. Yeah, four. And the fairy didn't manage to secure a date with the cherub with a single one.
This was getting out of hand, he thought, he was Fairyworld's sexiest bachelor, he'd asked fairies out before! Why was this suddenly so... hard?! Those other fairies didn't have Cupid's smile, or his eyes. They didn't take their jobs as seriously as he took his. They weren't... him. And him BEING him seemed to make this all impossible- it was like Cupid was flawless. Like he'd been training his entire life to be the perfect entity: posture, hair, makeup, teeth, house, wardrobe- it was like his traits were reviewed and selected by some higher power. Well. Being that he was the son of Aphrodite it sort of was to be expected, but, gosh . Now he was able to see him up close... Juandissimo almost felt less-than-sexy in comparison. ALMOST. And to muster up the guts to ask him out!? He was beyond foolish.
Yet, it still felt attainable. Days of pondering led him to one verdict. He was just going to have to rip the bandaid off, once and for all, and if Cupid says no then it clearly just wasn't meant to be and he would go back to chasing his sweet Wanda... eugh, no. That didn't sound right anymore.
For now, he only had eyes for precious Cupid. Occasionally, it struck him with a sense of deja vu from highschool, back to times when he was so enthralled with that pink-haired woman he'd come out with some utter gibberish in front of her... oh God. Was Cosmo going to come snatch Cupid up too if things worked out the same? He'd have to kill him. Or at least try to. That lanky olive's magic was frighteningly strong when put up against his own, Juan was shamed to admit.
NOT IMPORTANT.
What was important was that distinctive camp cadence that he was so accustomed to now, accompanied by whoever it is he was he was talking to and slowly approaching up the hall. Oh God, should he do a sexy pose? He could lean against the wall all seductive. Or would that look stupid? What WOULDN'T look stupid to the literal god of love!? HE WAS STUPID. He should go home. He should-
"Juan!"
He'd been caught, held up in his mind, hand above his head and leaning against the wall. Caught by Cupid (and the Tooth Fairy, but she wasn't important here) and his perfect smile, and his perfect eyebrows furrowed in perfect confusion.
"...Hola."
"Is everything okay?"
"..." He was freezing up. He didn't even know why he was still in this stupid pose. He could tell Cupid was trying not to laugh as he turned to the taller woman. "Can we talk?"
Brilliant. Clear and concise, not daunting at all. The god glanced to his friend.
"Gimme a second, I'll meet you outside."
Tooth nodded, eyebrow raised in mild curiosity, but of course she allowed the privacy it was clear Juan needed in order to spit the words out... he didn't really have a choice now.
Did he?
Sure, he could just lie.
Or run away.
Or move out of Fairyworld forever.
...
But Cupid took another few steps towards him, put his arm behind his own head and leant against the wall opposite the other man, mirroring him exactly, but making it work. Perhaps Juandissimo didn't look quite as ridiculous as first thought. Maybe it was the way his mouth twitched up, patient and waiting for whatever it was that the purple fairy was trying to say. Maybe that's what shocked him into actually opening his big dumb mouth.
"Will you come out for coffee with me?!"
"... Of course! We've been for coffee loads of times, did you wanna go to-"
"NO- no- not like that. Like..." Juandissimo, still not knowing exactly what to do with his hands, leant forward, grabbing Cupid's palm with both his own, looking him into those bright blue eyes. " Go out for coffee."
Cupid seemed taken aback by his forwardness there... but gradually broke out into an expression of hopeful anticipation.
"Like a date?"
"... Yah."
"Oh, Juandissimo!" Cupid's perfect smile beamed across his face, and finally Juandissimo felt that tension escape from his chest. "That's so cute, OBVIOUSLY I'll go on a date with you."
"I- ya- um- umm... perfecto- are you free..."
"I'm free tomorrow!"
"Yeah!?"
"At 1:30 ish!"
"So am I!"
"Can we go to the one I really like on North Street?"
"The one we went to a few weeks ago?"
"YESSS!!!"
...
Neither of them had consciously noticed how tightly they were gripping each others' hands. Or how they kept inching closer to each other's faces.
Juandissimo cleared his throat, regaining the sexy after the little outburst...
"I will see you then, shall I?"
"Oh absolutely~ I do have to run back to TF really quick though but- AGH, I'll see you then!!!"
...It was over. It had been successful. He was going on a date with THE real life Cupid.
It better go as perfectly as he was.