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Victor tossed and turned on the mattress, Makkachin whining at the movement as she rested beside him. The Russian finally settled, wrapping his arms around her, burying his nose into her soft fur with a sad sigh.
Of course, he’d never want to make Yuuri uncomfortable, especially so soon after meeting him, however he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t a little disappointed at his repeated refusals to a sleepover. He shivered where he laid, listening to the storm roar outside, eternally grateful to have Makkachin to cuddle.
Reaching towards the nightstand, Victor tapped his phone screen, wincing at the bright light. 1:35am . He groaned, flopping back on the bed dramatically. He wished Yuuri was there, they still had so much to talk about! He wanted to know everything about him, and then some.
He jumped slightly as a particularly strong gust of wind raged outside. Perhaps Yuuri was awake too, struggling to sleep with all the commotion outside. A good coach would go check up on him, right? Victor certainly thought so.
He sat up, careful not to disturb Makkachin too much, whispering apologies in Russian as he gently placed the duvet back over her, tiptoeing towards the door.
He made his way down the hall, phone torch illuminating the way, until he reached Yuuri’s door. As he reached for the handle, he paused, unsure of himself. He felt bad invading Yuuri’s privacy this way, but he was so restless, all alone in that room. If he was also awake then they could stay up and get to know each other better. If he was asleep, then he would, begrudgingly, go back to his own room.
He opened the door painstakingly slowly, cautious about any noise that may stir him if he were asleep. Yuuri was lying with his back to the door, motionless. Victor sighed. It seemed his student was having better luck sleeping than he was. Moving back, he was about to close the door, before he froze, a faint glow catching his attention.
As he made his way further into the room, he noticed the glow was coming from Yuuri’s phone. Curious, he peered over his sleeping form. His eyes were shut, mouth slightly ajar as drool dripped onto the pillow below. Victor momentarily forgot about his previous restlessness, gaze softening at the sight.
So adorable…
Tearing his eyes away, he looked at the phone, noting how they were connected to Yuuri via a string of headphones. Victor frowned slightly. That can’t be comfortable… He gently removed the buds from Yuuri’s ears, picking up the phone to place on his nightstand, when his eyes passed over the screen.
A YouTube video was already loaded and playing. The text was in Japanese, so Victor wasn’t too sure what he was looking at, however he did observe the video was over 3 hours long.
Interest peaked, he placed the earbuds in his own ears, and his breath caught in his throat at what he heard. A man was sat alone on screen, only his shoulders and mouth visible, as he whispered in fluent Russian, tapping a water bottle with his nails. Every now and then he would repeat words, making strange noises with his mouth, moving to take the lid off and on again.
Victor blinked once. Then twice.
How odd…
His eyes cast down to Yuuri’s sleeping form.
Why was Yuuri watching such a bizarre video? And why was he watching it in Russian!?
Needing answers, he scrolled through the rest of the video. It was the same thing all the way through, with the man changing objects every 10 minutes or so, speaking in the same hushed tone throughout. He would tap and scratch on the objects, asking every now and then whether Victor was ‘tingling’? He was baffled to be perfectly honest.
This just raises more questions! And what is this ASMR he keeps talking about?
Sitting in Yuuri’s desk chair, phone still in hand, he clicked on the search bar, when something unusual caught his eye on screen. The majority of Yuuri’s previous YouTube searches were, to be expected, in Japanese. However there were a few exceptions to this, and Victor’s eyes widened as he read.
> Victor Nikiforov ASMR
> Male Russian ASMR
> Russian ASMR
> Russian book reading
“Victor…? What are you…”
Victor’s eyes darted towards the bed, Yuuri now sat up, rubbing sleep out of his eyes. He watched as he slowly became more aware of the situation, face morphing in horrified realisation as he leapt out of bed, snatching his phone away.
“W-What are you doing?! And why are you in here?!”
Victor shot up out of the chair, guilt burning on his face as he was pushed towards the door.
“The…the storm. I was wondering if you were awake…” He faltered slightly. He couldn’t stop thinking about his search history.
“Yuuri, what is ASMR?”
Yuuri’s eyes widened in alarm, eyes panicked as he hastily shoved Victor through the doorway, slamming the door behind him.
Well, that didn’t go so well.
Leaning against the wood, he thought for a moment, before going to speak.
“I’m very sorry Yuuri, I didn’t mean to invade your privacy like that. It was an accident, I swear.”
Shame swirled in his stomach as he was greeted by silence.
“Sorry again, goodnight Yuuri”
With a sigh, he was about to pull away from the door, when he heard a meek response from inside.
“It’s okay… goodnight Victor”
Victor’s shoulders slumped in relief upon hearing his voice. Yuuri really was too good to him. Whatever ASMR was, he clearly didn’t want Victor knowing about it. With newfound determination, he set back off towards his room.
Makkachin jumped off the bed to greet him, tail waggling as she circled his legs. Shushing her and leading her back to the bed, they both settled, Makkachin curled up by Victor’s side, the latter pulling the covers up over them.
“Shhh, go to sleep Makka, I’ll just be up a little longer I promise” He whispered, scratching behind her ears as her head flopped against his hip.
Pulling out his own phone, he opened Google, quickly typing up a stream of questions, fascinated eyes quickly scanning the screen as he took the information in.
To be completely honest, he didn’t understand why Yuuri was so embarrassed. Granted, it did seem a little strange out of context, but if it really helped people sleep and reduce their anxiety, then he was surprised he hadn’t heard of it sooner.
Victor’s heart ached slightly at the memory of Yuuri’s face, the horror and embarrassment in his eyes, his messy bed hair and baggy pjs. He had to fix this, the last thing he wanted was for Yuuri to feel uncomfortable around him.
Eager to learn more, he went to YouTube, and found millions of videos, all with different aspects; tapping, face touching, roleplay, mouth sounds. It was a little overwhelming to be honest, but he wanted to understand as much as possible.
He spent the next half hour watching videos, struggling to keep his eyes open by the end. No wonder Yuuri watches these. Stifling a yawn, he placed his phone down, resting into the pillows below and staring at the ceiling.
From his research, he had gathered that Yuuri must watch ASMR to soothe his anxiety before bed, and to help him fall asleep. He figured he was a comforting figure for Yuuri, and so he had looked for ASMR specifically by him, or by someone ‘roleplaying’ as him, and when he couldn’t find it, settled for a man speaking in Russian instead.
He took a deep breath, feeling his face flush slightly as his heart swelled. He was very flattered, and found it incredibly endearing, but he understood why Yuuri was keeping it a secret from him. Not that he should be embarrassed, Victor didn’t mind at all, but of course Yuuri didn’t know that.
What if I give him some real Victor ASMR?
He was a little insecure about his abilities, but he was desperate to remedy the situation. As long as he remembered to keep his voice quiet, it shouldn’t be too hard to replicate. He thought back to Yuuri’s search history.
Russian book reading…
Reaching into his bedside drawer, he pulled out a small hardcover book, cover slightly worn from hours of reading during his adolescence. Truthfully, he knew a lot of this book by heart, he had read it countless times, but it was a classic and a favourite of his.
Breathing deeply, trying to will some confidence, he got up out of bed, book in hand and Makkachin in tow, making his way back to Yuuri’s room.
Getting closer, he observed light flooding through the slit at the bottom of his door. He must still be awake… Victor’s stomach twinged with guilt. Reaching up, he gently knocked on the door.
There was a moment of silence before the door swung open, and Victor’s guilt doubled when his eyes landed on his student. His hair was still messy, eyes slightly red, under eyes dark. Victor’s gaze landed on his chest, frowning in concern.
He’s breathing awfully quickly…is he hyperventilating?
Looking back to his face, his panic stricken expression confirmed his fears.
He’s having a panic attack
“Shhhh, hey, you’re alright Yuuri, let’s go sit down yeah?”
He let himself in, leading Yuuri to the bed as the latter nodded stiffly, gasping slightly for air. Once they were sat, Makkachin jumped up, confused at the human’s behaviour.
“No, Makka, down!” She didn’t listen, front paws on Yuuri’s lap, leaning to lick his tear stained face. Yuuri gasped in surprise, before breathlessly laughing, wrapping shaky arms around her to pull her closer. Victor’s heart melted at the sight, as he made a mental note to reward Makka with her favourite treat the upcoming morning.
“Yuuri…are you having a panic attack?” He broached the subject carefully. He was never very good with people crying, he never knew how to handle situations like that. To his surprise, Yuuri shook his head.
“I was…but not anymore. Just coming down from it” He explained, voice tired and croaky, as he ran his fingers through Makkachin’s soft curls. Victor just nodded in response.
“Is it…was it because of what I saw?” Instantly Yuuri stiffened and Victor kicked himself mentally. He was so very bad at this. He watched with dread as Yuuri avoided his gaze, eyes filling with tears and cheeks glowing red with shame.
“I-I’m sorry-“
“Shhh, hey, please don’t cry! You have nothing to apologise for, and nothing to be embarrassed about!” He tore his eyes away from him, looking down at the book in his hands before slowly continuing.
“I’ve been doing some research, I’m surprised I hadn’t heard of it before. I was thinking…I could always try and do some for you?” Yuuri’s eyes widened in surprise, head whipping to face him.
“You…you’re not mad!?”
Victor smiled fondly, reaching to wipe his tears away.
“Of course not, Yuuri, why on earth would I be?”
Yuuri stroked Makkachin, before mumbling something under his breath. Victor placed his hand over his, stopping his movements. Yuuri sighed and spoke up.
“You don’t think it’s weird?”
Victor shook his head vigorously, squeezing Yuuri’s hand under his own.
“Not at all! I was actually watching some before and I see why you like it, it’s very relaxing! I’m not sure how well I’ll be able to imitate it, but if you’re willing to try…?” He trailed off, suddenly shy. Yuuri just blinked in response, a stunned expression on his face.
“You want to…you’d do ASMR for me!?”
Gaze softening, he wordlessly guided Yuuri so he was lying down on the bed, Makkachin resting at his side. Victor joined him under the covers at his other side, noting how Yuuri’s cheeks flushed pink, a dazed smile on his face.
His voice dropped to a whisper as he focused hard on keeping his tone soft like he’d seen in the videos. “I brought a book with me, I think I remember seeing reading ASMR in your search history?”
Yuuri shyly nodded, causing Victor to wrap an arm around his shoulders, squeezing comfortingly.
“You don’t need to be embarrassed about liking it Yuuri, it appears a lot of people feel the same way. I’ll admit it did seem a little strange at first…” Yuuri froze beside him, causing Victor to quickly continue, “but after watching some myself I completely understand. And I’m glad you’ve found a healthy way of managing your anxiety! I’d love to help and be a part of it, if you’re comfortable with that of course”
His face lit up when he heard Yuuri breathe out a sigh of relief, heartbeat quickening as he watched him relax under his arm, sinking down so he could rest his head on Victor’s chest. “I…I like most of it to be honest. When I was younger I’d watch Russian ASMR and pretend it was you. It doesn’t matter that I don’t understand, I just find the language relaxing…” He trailed off nervously.
Upon hearing this, Victor grinned coyly, squeezing his arm. “That wouldn’t have anything to do with me, would it?” Yuuri blushed madly, scowling in mock anger as he gently hit Victor’s chest with his hand.
“This isn’t very relaxing Victor”
“I haven’t started yet! Trust me, I’ll have you falling asleep in minutes!”
Yuuri just smiled playfully, settling back down onto Victor’s chest, closing his eyes. “If you say so…” Victor wrapped his arm protectively around him, before turning to the book, voice dropping back to a whisper.
“I used to read this one all the time growing up. Don’t worry, it’s in Russian, your favourite~ ” Yuuri kicked him under the covers, causing Victor to gasp dramatically, before grabbing the pillow from under him and batting Yuuri in retaliation, eliciting a surprised laugh from him. Makkachin whined at the commotion, causing them both to apologise in unison, the action eliciting quiet giggles from them both.
“Alright, alright, truce. A pillow fight isn’t exactly going to help us sleep” Victor whispered, Yuuri nodding in agreement. Victor placed the pillow back behind him, sitting so he was comfortably perched upright in the bed, opening his arms for Yuuri. The latter blushed for the millionth time that evening, settling next to his coach, resting his head once more on his chest.
Victor began by gently tapping the cover, not too fast, not too slow, moving to tap up and down the spine. Yuuri shuddered slightly at the noise, eyes now closed. Victor leaned closer before speaking.
“I’m going to start now, alright? I’ll be speaking in Russian, but if you need anything let me know and I’ll switch back to English, okay?”
Yuuri nodded against his chest, Victor flipping through the pages a few times before turning gently to the first page, clearing his throat slightly.
He read at a slow pace, secretly very happy at the opportunity to use his mother tongue. Japan was lovely, but he did feel a little homesick at times. He kept his voice low and quiet, repeating the odd words that he thought Yuuri would find relaxing, silently celebrating whenever he’d feel Yuuri shudder in response.
A few pages in, confidence in his abilities rising, he brought one hand to play with Yuuri’s hair whilst he read, relishing in the small gasp of surprise he received.
It only took 20 minutes of Victor’s voice and fingers gently massaging his head for Yuuri to fall asleep, gently snoring against his chest. Victor hummed happily, closing the book and placing it to the side, reaching carefully to turn off the bedside lamp. Shifting down to lie beside him, he placed a tender kiss to his forehead, before kissing his own hand and petting Makkachin’s head (a kiss for her too!).
He closed his eyes, before breathing out a final whisper of Russian before falling asleep himself:
“ Спи спокойно, моя любовь ”