Chapter Text
The sky was dimming when Cal found himself alone on the clifftop with Bode. He breathed in still air and turned to look over the desert sand, squinting against the last remnants of the sun on the horizon. Bode slipped in next to him after Merrin, Cere and Greez left, easy as anything, not needing to say a word. Tomorrow they'd get the repaired compass from Master Cordova and then Tanalorr waited for them both. Safety. Security. A place to call home. Once they got there, they'd have all the time in the world for words; for now, the silence was enough as they both watched the sun disappear, and the insectoid buzz of desert nightlife drifted on the air towards them.
“We'd better turn in,” Bode said, though he didn't move from Cal's side. “Big day tomorrow.”
Cal smiled, looking at Bode for the first time since the sunset. There had always been something about Bode that Cal hadn't been able to put his finger on. He'd trusted him so easily, even from that first disastrous mission together, and from then on they'd been back to jet-packed back. He reminded Cal of Merrin, of how it felt to be around someone who understood him from the very first moment they met. And here, now, Cal wanted more than anything for Bode to know how much he appreciated him.
“We did this,” he said. “You and me. I couldn't have done it without you.”
Bode's smile was wry. “I helped once or twice around the edges,” he admitted. “Most of it while you weren't looking, mind you.”
“Well what I saw, I liked,” Cal laughed. He was drunk on peace, on accomplishment, the giddy feeling of a job well done. This was the downhill slope now, with just the finish line left. For some indescribable reason he wanted to put his head on Bode's shoulder. He settled instead for offering a hand. “Rest well, then.”
Bode grasped his hand and pulled him in for a hug. It was a brief, brotherly thing, and Cal savoured the feel of Bode's body under his arm, the solid dependence that Bode represented. For a moment, he was scared to let go. But when the hug ended, Bode kept hold of Cal's hand.
“You know,” Bode said, “at first I wasn't so sure about partnering up with a Jedi.”
Cal quirked his head, trying not to let his gaze linger on that dry smile that lit up Bode's face. “Yeah? Because you were afraid I'd show you up?” he joked. Why was Bode still holding his hand? Cal’s fingers twitched, wanting to hold tighter but not letting himself.
Bode shrugged. “Maybe.” If he noticed, he gave no sign. “It's been a hell of a thing, keeping up with you and all your crazy ideas.”
“Hey, you like my crazy ideas!”
“I like your crazy ideas,” Bode agreed, and without warning his lips were soft against Cal's.
Cal made a noise of surprise, then melted into the kiss. It was gentle, agonisingly so, just a flutter of lips against lips. His heart sped heat into his cheeks, and his fingers curled around Bode's hand because that was the only other part of his body he dared to touch in the fragility of the moment. This was a bubble where only Cal and Bode existed, and there was nothing but soft lips and body warmth.
Kissing Merrin had felt exhilarating, an explosion of adrenaline in the heart of the battlefront. With Bode, it was more like the lighting of a campfire on a cold, lonely night, the sudden warmth tingling his fingertips and toes.
The kiss was far too short, but when Bode broke away it was only so he could press their foreheads together and smile against Cal's mouth. “I can't tell you how glad I am you're kissing me back,” he chuckled. “That would have been embarrassing.”
“Bode.” Cal swallowed, but all he could manage was a whisper. “I-”
“I know, I know. You've got Merrin. There's Jedi stuff to think about. But… Well, I didn't want to miss my chance.”
He kissed Cal again, hard and fierce this time in a way that took Cal's breath away. Soft lips gave way to teeth, tongue and stubble, diving into him like a drowning man. His breath was hot on Cal's face, and both his hands settled on Cal's hips, pulling him closer until there was nothing between them, not even the cool desert air. Cal had enough coherent thought left to know that he was thoroughly and completely fucked, but if this was his last day in the galaxy, at least he'd die knowing the taste of Bode Akuna's lips on his own.
Bode pulled back again, leaving Cal gasping. The bastard had the audacity to wink, and Cal was suddenly glad they'd waited until the darkness could cover most evidence of how flustered he was.
“Rest well, Cal,” Bode said. “You've earned it.” He placed one final firm kiss on Cal's lips before he left, and Cal floundered in the space he left behind, his skin burning with heat that wasn't his own. For a long moment words hovered on Cal's lips, wanting to call him back, but nothing came out, and then it was too late.
From the open doorway, instead it was Merrin's silhouette that emerged, her face hidden by the lights from the monastery behind her. Without knowing how, Cal was struck with the certainty that not only had Merrin witnessed the entire exchange, but that Bode had wanted her to.
“I hope you are ‘resting well’, Cal Kestis,” Merrin said, and Cal was relieved to find that she sounded more amused than anything.
Cal exhaled hard, turned so his back was to the cliff wall and slid to the floor with a bump. Another deep breath made a start at bringing his heart rate back down to normal, though surely Merrin had already heard how out of breath he sounded. “I thought I knew what I wanted,” he complained. “Now I have no idea.”
“You live a complicated life,” Merrin observed dryly. “Why would your love life be any different?”
Cal had no answer to that. His recent kisses with Merrin and Bode were far from his first, but they were the first in a long time. Being both a Jedi on the run and a wanted terrorist weren't exactly conducive to a happy, long-term relationship, and he'd simply had other priorities. But with Tanalorr came the tempting promise of a normal life, with all that that entailed. Now the path before him branched into multiple possibilities, and he wasn't sure what he'd ever do with that much choice.
“Do not worry,” Merrin said. “You do not need to make a decision about anything tonight.”
Cal opened his mouth to say thank you - or should he be saying sorry? - but Merrin wasn't done with him yet. She was always pragmatic, always had her eyes on the road ahead. Never lost herself to emotions. Maybe she was more Jedi than he was.
“You should keep your focus,” she said. “The Hidden Path is relying on you to have a clear head tomorrow. Can you?”
Cal's initial response was one of petulance. His best friend had just kissed his brains out, of course he'd be able to navigate one of the most dangerous areas of space in the galaxy with Bode right there, without thinking about pinning him to a wall to return the favour. But he was a Jedi, for better or for worse, and he'd been trained better than that.
“I'm on it,” he said. “We've still got a mission to finish.”
But after Merrin left and Cal had the clifftops to himself, he couldn't stop his thoughts from replaying every moment of it, kiss by passionate kiss.