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“I screwed up!”
“Uh. Hi Blaine, how are you?”
“I screwed up real bad!”
Kurt’s eyebrows rose. He knew, and had accepted the fact, that Blaine had a slight tendency to be overdramatic. Spotting Rachel out of the corner of his eye, holding her newly arrived puppet in one hand whilst examining her own face in her hand mirror at the same time, probably in an effort to see if Blaine had captured her perfectly, reinforced the fact that he was naturally drawn to a certain type of person. But Blaine’s tone still sent a shiver of unease racing up his spine.
“Ok, just calm down, and tell me what happened.”
“It’s not what happened, it’s what I did! I did something bad and it will ruin everything.”
Casting a quick look around at his bandmates, he found them all suitably distracted by their gifts. Aside from Rachel, Santana was gleefully taking pictures of her and Dani’s puppets with her phone, presumably to send to Dani who was working, whilst Elliot was just staring at his own felt embodiment with something that looked a lot like shock. It definitely didn’t look like they would be getting back to the meeting any time soon so Kurt quickly walked towards his section of the loft, to give him and Blaine the semblance of privacy.
Once last glance at his bandmates led him to locking eyes with Elliot, who held up his puppet and mouthed, “It’s so realistic!” to him. Kurt shook his head, grinning a little at Elliot’s bafflement and pulled the curtain closed behind him.
“Just tell me, Blaine. Tell me what you did and then we can discuss ways to fix whatever it is.” Kurt perched himself on the end of the bed. “Did you spill juice on one of your silk ties, Blaine? Because if you did, remember we already discussed what you need to do. I even wrote down the steps and put it in your second desk drawer.”
“It’s not that. This is much worse.”
Kurt was getting progressively more worried. Flashbacks of their breakup started playing in his head. He pushed those thoughts aside. That was in the past.
“Tell me, Blaine.”
There was a heavy inhale heard through the phone. “ImayhavemessedwithElliot’spuppet.”
“….I’m sorry?”
“I may have… done something to Elliot’s puppet,” Blaine repeated, slower this time, his breath hitching a little.
“OK….? Well he clearly doesn’t mind whatever you did. He can’t stop staring at the thing. You may have just made his year.” Kurt, stood up and pulled the curtains open a little. Elliot was still sitting there, now playing with the puppet’s jacket.
“No no! You don’t understand,” Blaine’s worry only seemed to have increased in intensity. “I’ve been feeling kind of jealous every time you post a picture of you two together and every time you mention his name when we’re talking – ”
“Blaine!” Kurt said. “Why didn’t you tell me you felt that way? I swear there's nothing to be jealous about. We are just friends and bandmates. Honestly I think the two of you would really get along. You two are very similar.” Kurt heard Blaine make a distressed whine at his words. “Not exactly alike of course. You are so much more handsome and talented and – ”
“Oh god,” interrupted Blaine. “This is making it even worse. Maybe you can grab it off him. Before he sees…”
Just then Elliot’s voice came from behind the curtain, “Umm…” Pulling the material aside once more, Kurt looked out to see Elliot staring at the lower half of his puppet, it’s little pants undone and lowered.
“Whoa,” said Santana, pausing in her picture taking. Kurt noted that the Dani and Santana puppets were now placed in a more... intimate position and wish he could scrub the image from his brain. “Your puppet has actual glitterballs!” She wrenched the felt object out of Elliot’s hand and turned it so Kurt had a better view of it’s front. Sure enough there, between the puppets legs were two, very shiny, very gold, balls of glitter.
“Oh my god,” said Kurt, still holding the phone to his ear. Blaine made the panicked noise again, this time louder.
The balls were also disproportionally large compared to the rest of him, and Kurt suddenly realised why Elliot’s puppet’s pants had been much looser than reality would have dictated.
“Well,” said Rachel, trying and failing to stifle a giggle. “You have to admire Blaine’s attention to detail. Although he did leave a loose thread there.”
Santana held the puppet closer to her face. “Oh no. That’s not a loose thread.” She looked on the verge of cackling as she swivelled her head to look between Elliot and Kurt. “Bowtie thought of everything it seems. Look,” she said, holding the thing closer to Elliot’s face. “He even gave it a rosy little helmet. Isn’t that cute?”
Elliot’s face was bright red, as he snatched the doll from out of Santana’s hands. Santana didn’t seem to mind though as both she and Rachel lost it completely at the same time. Their combined laughter echoed loudly in the large space.
Kurt too, found himself struggling to contain his laughter. He shouldn’t laugh. Not at this. What Blaine had done was petty and indicative of a potentially larger trust issue…
But just looking at Elliot’s face and seeing what must have been the light reflecting off of his enormous glittery puppet balls reflected in Elliot’s actual eyes… it was too much. Kurt cracked, a howl of laughter escaping him.
“Kurt!” came Blaine’s voice from the phone, loud enough so Kurt would be able to hear him over his laughter. “Kurt, this isn’t funny!”
But Blaine was wrong. It was very funny. So funny in fact that even Elliot couldn’t hold a straight face for long, a snort of laughter escaping him as he took a closer look at his puppet’s groin.
Soon the only sounds left in the loft was the sound of their laughter and Blaine’s muffled yells of, “This is not how I want to be remembered!”