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When Till arrives at the photo studio, tired and wishing he could go back home and sleep for the next 48 hours, Ivan is already there, looking radiant with his bright eyes and huge smile.
“Sunbae-nim! Ready for today?” Ivan asks too cheerfully, as if it wasn’t 8 a.m. on a Saturday, but maybe Ivan didn’t stay up most of the night reading scripts like Till often does.
Till doesn’t answer with anything other than a tired groan, but that doesn’t put Ivan off at all, and he is still beaming when he offers Till a large to-go cup of coffee.
“I don’t know if you’ve had any coffee yet, but on the way here I stopped at your favorite coffee shop and got you this,” Ivan explains. “It’s plain, black coffee, just the way you like it.”
Till doesn’t mention that his favorite coffee shop is not on the way, but on the other side of town.
“Thanks,” Till mumbles, taking the cup and wondering how the hell it’s still warm if Ivan really had to take a 40-minute detour to get it.
“My pleasure.”
Till pretends not to notice that Ivan is staring at him intently and takes a long gulp of coffee. He had a cup before he left home, and another in the car, but Till will definitely need more caffeine to get through the morning, let alone the day.
It’s going to be a really long one.
Till is not a fan of many things that come with fame, such as the lack of privacy and how everyone seems entitled to know every detail of his private life, and also the lack of balance between his work life and his scarce free time, and photo shoots. Till is not a fan of photo shoots at all.
He will never get used to having so many eyes on him while he poses awkwardly with a fake smile under blinding lights, only to repeat the process for hours on end with different outfits, makeup, and props until he is about to lose his mind.
Yes, there are worse things out there, but photo shoots are usually a source of stress for everyone involved and far from being the glamorous activity everyone assumes they are.
The creative director is kind enough to let them know they can take a break whenever they want and explains what they’ll be doing for the next few hours before sending them off to get their makeup and hair done. Then the stylists send them off to change into their first outfits, making sure to fix any details that might not look perfect in a photo before they’re even allowed to stand in front of the camera.
They both wear similar outfits to the ones they wore the last time they shared the spotlight, so Ivan is dressed all in white to contrast with Till’s dark clothes.
The photographer takes a few quick, individual portraits of them, and then they get to the main theme of the photo shoot: fanservice.
It’s not the first time they share the camera, but the last time, the rest of the cast was with them. Things have changed since then, and after sharing a kiss on screen, it’s pretty obvious that the fans can’t get enough of Till and Ivan, some of them even expressing their desire to see them work together again, so why not take advantage of the popularity and give the fans exactly what they want? A special feature in a popular magazine with a new interview and lots of pictures of them together for all those fans to admire, buy, and keep forever.
It’s a pretty solid plan with a high chance of success and increasing the popularity of their web series, a win-win situation. Till couldn’t argue with that.
Ivan lies on the ground as if he is dying in front of Till, just like his character did, and then Till is asked to support Ivan’s head on his knee while looking down at him with his hands on his shoulders.
“Look at the sky while you hold him, Till-shi, as if you’re devastated to lose him,” the creative director instructs next. The flash blinds Till when they take the photo. “Good. Now look down at him again.”
“You can also get a little closer to Ivan-shi,” the photographer adds.
“Yes! Definitely! Show the audience how heartbroken you are, Till-shi.”
Till tries his best, he is an actor after all, but Ivan doesn’t make the task any easier; instead of staying perfectly still with his eyes closed, playing dead, Till notices that he keeps stealing glances at him between shoots, and the way his lips twitch like he is trying to suppress a smile.
“Why do you keep looking at me?” Till asks when they take a short break while the crew goes over the pictures they have taken so far, and the stylists fix the wrinkles on their clothes.
“I wanted to see the faces you’d make, Sunbae-nim,” Ivan replies with a straight face.
Till doesn’t know how to answer, so he just tells Ivan to focus on his work so they can go home early.
Before they take another break, they take a couple more pictures of Till kneeling and cupping Ivan’s face, while Ivan looks at Till fondly, mirroring him and reaching out to touch him.
“To please the fans who refuse to believe that Ivan-shi’s character is truly gone,” the creative director explains solemnly.
Till almost wishes he didn’t have to look at Ivan’s handsome face while staring at his dark puppy eyes that make Till believe Ivan holds sincere affection for him. The way Ivan’s thumb moves subtly over Till’s cheekbone, as if it were a loving caress, doesn’t help him at all.
The shutter sounds stop, and Till is grateful for the brief break to change his outfit.
Before getting his makeup and hair retouched, Till finishes his coffee, not wasting a single drop of the precious caffeine he so desperately needs. Meanwhile, Ivan, ever so gracious, and charming, and full of energy, chats with the stylists about his first serious experience as an actor.
“So did you have a good time working together?” A stylist with bright eyes asks him.
“I did. Acting is not always easy, but I got the best senior ever, so I was lucky,” Ivan says, loud enough for Till to hear, and maybe he does want Till to hear him because he looks at him over his shoulder and adds, “Very, very lucky. He gave me invaluable advice.”
Till shrugs. “You’re already a good actor and merely needed a push in the right direction.”
Ivan smiles like he always does when Till says something remotely nice to him. It’s a teeny-tiny bit endearing, if Till is honest.
Till puts down the empty paper cup and sits in front of the mirror, feeling Ivan’s piercing gaze on him the entire time it takes the stylists to redo his hair and retouch the makeup around the deep dark circles around his tired eyes. That’s something he has in common with his character, both are always exhausted.
The next outfit is a more casual one, a gray long-sleeve shirt artfully cut at the shoulders to give a glimpse of his arms underneath, a choker, and sleek black pants. Ivan is the one wearing black now, a form-fitting tank top that makes it easy to admire the muscles he usually hides under his sleeves and sweaters.
Till has no choice but to pretend he is not staring at Ivan’s biceps out of the corner of his eye when they are instructed to sit together on the sofa they’ve brought onto the set.
They sit down, not like normal people would, but in artistic poses that always have them touching in one way or another, getting closer and closer with each shoot. At first they sit on opposite sides of the sofa, facing the camera, and for the next pose they sit back to back, Till leaning against Ivan, his arm casually resting on his bent knee.
“Could you lean a bit more into Ivan-shi’s side?” the photographer asks, clearly noticing that Till avoids touching Ivan in the next pose, one in which they are shoulder to shoulder, with Ivan’s strong arms holding Till close.
Till moves, staying still against Ivan while a stylist hurries to fix his hair which moved a tiny fraction to the left when he shifted on the sofa. Ivan doesn’t seem to mind the extra wait and tells the stylist to take her time fixing his Sunbae-nim’s hair, and then asks her to fix his own hair, too, because what if it doesn't look good in the final take? Till finds this ridiculous. Ivan never looks bad in any of his photos.
When the hair is back in place, the photographer rushes to take the photo before something else delays the process. Then Ivan is asked to rest on Till’s chest, and unlike Till, who was cautious at first, Ivan has no problem pressing his full body weight on Till without a second thought.
Unexpectedly, it’s not as uncomfortable as Till expected, considering that Ivan is taller and heavier than him.
“Ivan-shi, could you please smile more subtly?”
Till glances down and notices that Ivan is smiling from ear to ear for some reason.
“Sorry, director-nim,” Ivan chuckles and Till can feel Ivan’s ribcage reverberating against his chest. “I’m just happy to be here.”
For their last poses on the sofa, Ivan remains seated and Till stands behind him with an arm around his shoulders. Till can feel Ivan’s muscles tense under his touch, and he lets out a shaky breath, focusing on staring into the camera.
The photographer takes a couple of pictures like this and then with their positions reversed, and Ivan looks even happier than before when they are finally done.
“Are you having a good time?” Till asks, standing next to Ivan as the crew removes the sofa to prepare for the upcoming shots. “You look excited.”
“I’m having a great time, Sunbae-nim.” Ivan nods, casually brushing his bangs away from his eyes, and Till notices how his biceps look even bigger when his arm is flexed like that. “I’m having the best time ever.”
“Do you really like this photo shoot that much?” Till asks, because as an idol, Ivan has participated in many photo shoots with more interesting concepts than this one.
He particularly remembers one where Ivan was on his knees under a rain curtain, peeling off the wet tank top that was clinging to his skin, and… and Till is not going there today or ever.
“Yeah. It’s my new favorite photo shoot. I’ll buy ten—no, I’ll buy a hundred copies of the magazine as soon as it comes out.” Ivan replies. “So, I can, you know, have some to display and some to keep in a cabinet as part of my personal collection.”
Till laughs because it’s a good joke. Ivan is only joking, right?
“Your enthusiasm is… refreshing.” Till pats Ivan on the shoulder and walks past him to get ready for the next photos, but not without noticing the subtle blush rising to Ivan’s elated face.
How can someone so hot be so cute?
The final outfits have Ivan in a white shirt, with his hair slicked back, giving him a mature, masculine look that Till secretly likes, and Till in a burgundy shirt with a black tie loosened around his neck. The stylist makes sure to leave the top buttons undone, no doubt to tease the crowd that wants to see what’s under their collars.
They’ve been progressively moving closer throughout the photo shoot, but now there’s no space between them as they stand pressed together, Ivan with an arm thrown over Till’s shoulders and Till with his own arm wrapped around Ivan’s slender waist.
For the next pose, they move just enough to press their temples together as they look at the camera from different heights and angles, and between shots, being so close to Ivan, Till’s nose catches a whiff of his cologne, one with wood and orange notes that he recognizes from the last time they worked this close, when they kissed under the fake rain until Ivan choked him like he had to, but by that retake, the rain had already washed the scent away.
“Till-shi, please move closer to Ivan-shi and rest your head on his shoulder.” Till does as he is told, feeling rather than seeing the moment when Ivan shivers slightly as they come cheek to cheek. “Now look into the camera… perfect!”
Ivan never got this close to Luka in any of their photo shoots during their idol days, but then again, Ivan never had his tongue inside Luka’s mouth, and Till can only guess that’s what makes the difference.
In the end, they have Ivan put a hand on Till’s shoulder, and Till glancing at the camera while Ivan stares at him with those soft eyes of his, and Till is glad when the director tells them to relax while she talks to the photographer until they both seem to have reached an agreement that has them smiling from ear to ear.
“If it’s okay with both of you, could we try something a little more daring now?” the creative director asks. “One last photo to give the fans what they want?”
“Well, if it’s for the fans, we can’t disappoint them, right, Sunbae-nim?” Ivan seems unfazed by the petition, so Till won’t back down either, even though they’ve been giving the fans what they want for the past couple of hours now.
“Right.” Till nods, just before he is swarmed by stylists whose hands itch to fix his hair and the collar of his shirt before the impromptu final take.
Till and Ivan are instructed to get into each other’s personal space, look into each other’s eyes and lean in with their mouths half open, almost breathing the same air as if they’re going in for a kiss, and Till is not even sure if they can publish such a photo in the magazine, but if they do, he knows the fans will go crazy for it, after all, who doesn’t like a little—or a lot of fanservice?
He already knows the taste and texture of Ivan’s lips, but a part of Till can’t help but wonder if Ivan would kiss the same way if they no longer had to perform to a script with bright lights surrounding them, in front of cameras with lenses designed to capture every single one of their movements.
And in spite of himself, Till wonders what it’ll be like to reciprocate the kiss after so many one-sided ones.
Afterward, there is a flurry of giving his thanks and being thanked for the hard work, and they show Till and Ivan the best photos of the day, the ones that will be sent to the magazine after some retouching and most likely make it into the final publication.
Both the creative director and the photographer fill them in on the details behind their decisions for choosing each picture, but Till mostly zones out in favor of staring closely at each of the photos on display in front of him.
Ivan and he look incredibly good together.
Till doesn’t know what to do with this information, but when his eyes search for Ivan, he finds him staring back at him, and Ivan, the little shit, purposely lets his tongue flick across his lips.
The only thing that comes to Till’s mind is a clear and resounding “fuck”.
Till has no idea how he and Ivan came to the same conclusion without saying a word, but they both excuse themselves on the flimsy pretext of having to make a phone call at the same time, and suddenly they’re outside the studio, standing in front of a janitor’s closet.
A setting so cliché it hurts.
They stare at each other for a moment, and Till swallows. Ivan is the one who silently opens the closet door, but Till is the one who pushes him inside, barely registering the soft click of the door closing again before Ivan’s lips are on his, hungrily pushing against his mouth, his canine tooth digging into Till’s lower lip in a painful but familiar way.
It had to happen sooner or later. In fact, Till is surprised that it took them so long to release the palpable tension between them.
Till’s fingers curl on Ivan’s nape, pulling him even closer, and in a wordless response, Ivan crushes him in his arms and shoves him into the nearest wall. Till groans in protest and Ivan mumbles an apology against his lips, before he focuses once more in keeping up with the frantic kisses that are consuming them both.
“I wanted to do this all day,” Ivan confesses, cupping Till’s face and holding it in place as if he wants Till to look at him and only him. “I’ve wanted to do this since I met you, before that even.”
“We’ve kissed plenty of times already.”
“Those times didn’t count.” Ivan’s face is bright red when he pushes his fingers against Till’s lips until he gives in and allows Ivan to press his thumb against his tongue. “So now I have to kiss you as many times as we did retakes to make up for it.”
Ivan’s lips replace his fingers and a choked moan escapes Till’s throat as he deepens the kiss. Till holds him tighter, unbothered when Ivan pushes him against the wall for a second time, locking him in with his body, so close that Till feels like he doesn’t even have enough room to breathe; so close that he wonders if Ivan can feel the frantic rhythm of his heart.
Needless to say, reciprocating Ivan’s kisses is even better than Till ever expected.
Ivan slides his thigh between Till’s legs, making him moan and thrust his hips forward, and realize that they shouldn’t be doing this in a cramped closet where anyone could walk in on them while they are wearing borrowed clothes that must never, under any circumstances, get stained like this.
As a veteran actor, Till has a reputation and professionalism to uphold, and Ivan should start worrying about not beginning his acting career off on the wrong foot, so even though he doesn’t want to, Till pushes Ivan back until they’re at arm’s length.
“Save it for later,” Till tells him, feeling breathless as he tries not to look at Ivan’s dejected face. “I’m not doing this here,” he adds through clenched teeth, despite his burning face.
Ivan breathes in and out, suddenly excited, chuckling and basically bouncing on his feet as he leans forward until his lips brush against the shell of Till’s ear.
“That’s fair. You deserve better than a quick fuck in a closet.” His deep voice definitely does something to Till, and if he were a weaker man, he would have let his resolve crumble completely, clothes and everyone else in the vicinity be damned.
“Then don’t make me wait any longer.”
Till licks his lips and smirks as Ivan scrambles to fix his clothes to the best of his ability, stealing one last kiss before kicking the door open, marching out with the determination of a man on a mission.