Archive of Our Own

“I’m sick of your… of your shit , Jecka!” The smaller girl stammered, pointing at the blonde with a shaky finger.

“Karen, what the fuck has gotten into you!?” Somehow, she sounded more concerned than offended.

The shark watched the two bicker, waiting for the smell of blood to drift into the air to launch her attack. Emily was used to watching girls fight, calling each other whores, sluts, bitches, anything in the English dictionary- sometimes it wasn’t just english- those insults made her giggle. The frail girl was stumbling as she stuttered, cursing out the girl in pink as the latter sat in the lap of a vulture, not a vulture but Nicole was the closest a human could be. There was sorrow in the hazel drunken gaze, slamming down the red solo cup on the coffee table.

“You- I hate you- left me behind like I… like I was nothing !” Her words were on the brink of collapse, her pitch rising and falling like a rollercoaster. She stormed off from the living room and towards the sealed backyard, pulling open the screen door hastily.

“You can tell she wanted to say suck a dick.” Ari chimed in, walking over to the group of girls at the couch.

“I can make that happen~” Nicole’s lustful blue eyes met amber as the girl on her lap lightly slapped her across the face.

“Not happening, Nicole! We are not doing this at a public party!” Jecka groaned, running her fingers through the drunken girl’s long black hair.

Emily stood up from the opposite couch, creeping towards the backyard with steps as quiet as she could manage. She didn’t want Karen to be aware of her nearby, she didn’t want her to freak out and tumble in. It was better and safer to watch from afar, make sure nothing happened tonight. The other girl was clearly a light weight in more ways than one, from what the frizzy haired blonde knew about alcohol, this was Karen’s first time under the influence.

“Em, you don’t have to be so creepy! Relax and get drunk, it’s a girls only party tonight.” Kelly made her way over, resting her hand on Emily’s shoulder. She hissed at the touch, feeling a stinging sensation run through her body. The taller girl retracted her hand as though she had been bitten, going off towards the couch with the others.

“Kelly’s right though! C’mon, Emily! When are you gonna get a shot like this?” Ari asked with a soft voice, trying to sound as alluring as possible to the blonde.

“I was only paid half of what I’m owed so I’ll finish the job, get paid, then get fucked outta my mind later.” Emily sighed, keeping her eyes glued to the girl that was sitting by the pool. Her eyes narrowed like a cat hunting its prey, observing every movement the black haired girl made. The erratic ways her chest rose and fell, the shaky motions of her hands as she attempted to crack her knuckles.

“Whatever you say,” Ari shrugged, turning back to the other three girls on the couch. The rest of the conversation became white noise to Emily, just something audible in the background, not loud to the point of distracting her but just enough to tune out the voices in her head.

Time started to slow down, seconds dragged on forever as Emily kept her word. She stayed on guard, it gave her an excuse not to directly interact with the black haired girl. There was no excuse if she made a fool out of herself, she was as sober as reasonably possible, just on some seroquel and addys. She was instructed to be off any drugs for this, if she wasn’t on adderall she wouldn’t have half the attention span needed to focus for so long.

Karen’s chest rose and fell even more frantically, her soft sobs barely audible through the glass door. She got up from her spot on the poolside cement, sprinting up to the diving board with uneven steps. There wasn’t time for her to even jump as she tripped over her own feet and tumbled into the depths of the chloride filled water below her. Glasses falling off of her face midair as she made her decent.

Fight or flight activated in the blonde, pushing the sliding door open and making a mad dash towards the drunken girl. Adrenaline piloted her mind, the shouts of the others were nothing but inabible chirps compared to the blood rushing in her ears. She dove into the pool, not taking a moment to stop, the tug of the water on her clothes would weigh herself down, and there wasn’t a second to spare for removing them. Icy blue eyes narrowed like icicle spears, scanning the bottom of the pool for the one that made her heart skip beats, the person that made her flash genuine toothy smiles.

Drenched black fabric caught her gaze, pushing herself off of the wall she briskly swam towards Karen. Placing her hands under the smaller girl’s arms she kicked her own legs, bringing the girl up to the water’s surface. Emily shook her hair out like a wet puppy, making her way to the staircase of the pool. A glimpse of red waited for her by the steps, the blonde gently placed Karen down on the top step. Ice met lavender as the two conscious girls stared at each other, “Can your drunk ass manage cpr?”

“Wouldn’t you wanna do it?”

“I’m still in the fucking pool, someone has to get her glasses and you’re decently strong enough. Are you gonna make yourself useful or gawk at how my shirt clings to my chest?” Emily scowled, voice laced with bitterness as the red haired girl quickly made herself useful. She turned around, facing towards the deep end of the pool. The blonde had no clue if black haired girl had another pair of glasses she could rely on if these were lost in the depths of a rich white teen’s pool party.

Submerging under the water, she held her breath, taking in the surroundings. Air jets pumping out bubbles from each of the walls, the moon’s light reflecting on the surface, observing usually helped calm the tension festering in her mind. Her eyes locked on a pair of curricular black glasses a few feet below the blonde. The water’s pressure pushed against her face, she dove down to the chloride infested pool, grabbing the glasses and swimming back up to the surface. She emerged like a dog having caught a stray ball, blue eyes shone triumphantly as she blinked the water out.

Purple eyes watched her with adoration, shaking her head to adjust the softness in her gaze. “She’s breathing! Still unconscious but she’s alive.” Ari gestured a thumbs up towards the blonde girl as she slowly made her way up the steps, tightly holding onto the railing.

“..thanks.” Emily muttered, running her fingers through her own hair, waving it from side to side as water dripped off of her like a sprinkler. She knelt by her unconscious friend, checking for a pulse to ensure the red haired girl was being truthful. A sigh of relief escaped her lips, her eyes starting to wonder at the scene around her.

Jecka was holding Kelly, trying to help the girl stabilize her shaky breathing. The two blondes leaned on each other, the black haired girl standing beside Jecka with a hand on her shoulder. The panic in the host’s amethyst eyes was the most glaring thing Emily was aware of, the concern that made her eyes swell and lunges restrict her ability to inhale oxygen. Was the distress for someone’s life or the possibility of her own night being ruined?

“Shit…” Nicole looked at the disaster before her, the unconscious girl, the panicked lesbian, and the drenched disheveled blonde. She turned towards the host, the ringleader of the catastrophe, “Kelly, what the hell did you put in the punch?”

“I don’t know! I just took shit from my parents’ cabinet and blended it all together!” Kelly snapped back, on the brink of hysterics as she held onto the amber eyed blonde.

“Oh we are so fucked.” Nicole let out a dry laugh, receiving a nasty side eye from Jecka.

Emily placed her hands under Karen’s back, lifting her up into her arms, carrying her in a bridal adjacent style. The girl in her arms appeared so peaceful above the surface of her mind, whatever overcame her to drink as much as she did was a vile abyss the blonde yearned to explore the depths of. She shrugged off the stares from the other girls at the party, walking up to the two blondes with a foreboding glare.

“I did my job, more than I expected I’d need to- you owe me a hundred bucks on Monday. If you don’t pay up I will slam your head against the diving board till your skull shatters and toss you into the bottom of the pool.” Emily’s toothy smirk was enough to make the bleached blonde go quiet, nodding in clear acknowledgement of the threat- no- the promise made against her.

“Awesome! I’m gonna head out now, the rest of this,” the sharp toothed blonde made a gesture towards everyone in the backyard, “is way above my pay grade. I’m gonna take four eyes back to her place, have fun or whatever!” Emily walked off towards the exit of the closed in backyard, going through the gate that led to the outside. She held the girl in her arms tightly, looking down at her unconscious figure with a frown. Drunkards were normal dealings for her, guys that got way too in over their heads and killed whatever brain cells they had with several cans of bud light. It was the blonde’s duty to prevent them from ending up in a car crash then she could fuck off and do whatever she wanted.

Emily was already paid for her time, yet something in her soul told her to look after the girl in her arms. For once, the voices in her head agreed with the feelings in her heart.

…


Emily hadn’t planned to spend her weekend at another girl’s house, especially not Karen’s. Sure, the two were friends but never really hung out after school until recently, someone had to be there for the nerdy girl and Emily was the only one with the balls to do so. It was quiet in the empty house, a lot different from what the blonde was used to. Everything was tidy, neat and put away, not a speck of dust anywhere in the home. Her own home was already trashy but in comparison to Karen, at least her trashy place had some personality to it.

She spent her Saturday resting in Karen’s bed beside her, trying to ignore her increasing heart rate when the black haired girl would rest her head on her bare chest. Emily was just doing her a favor, nothing more than that, Karen helped her with test answers so she was indebted to her. Once Karen would wake up, Emily could leave and her job would be done here; she didn’t have any incentive to go somewhere else other than her own anxieties that the seroquel was not calming.

You don’t go swimming at pool parties, that was the first rule of being a hot girl. The second was to drink enough that you were fun to be around but not too much where you become sick and ruin the whole mood of the party. Karen broke both of those rules yesterday night, getting incredibly wasted and going swimming in Kelly’s pool. It seemed like she tried going swimming, the blonde still had no clue what the hell Karen was doing.

There was nothing for the blonde to really do, she could go back to sleep but the idea of the other girl waking up to find Emily in her bed without any memory of the prior night freaked her out. It was already nine in the morning, the sun shone its holy light in her eyes like she was a vampire. She hissed in recoil, rolling out of bed to make her way to the bedroom window and closing the curtains briskly. Maybe it was a sign to get out of bed and put some clothes on, she might be suicidal but she denied the idea of wearing the drenched outfit she had on yesterday.

The towel Emily had used to shower that night still laid on top of the other girl’s door. She shrugged off the thought of wearing it, instead rummaging through Karen’s drawers to find something to wear. It wasn’t stealing if she was considering returning it after wearing it, besides, would Karen want a naked Emily walking around her house? She wasn’t sure what answer she wanted the smaller girl to have, she wouldn’t mind either way but some part of her wishes she wouldn’t mind. Not just wouldn’t mind but would be more than happy to see Emily that way.

She needed a fucking coffee.

Emily pulled over the first top she could find, it was a baby blue hoodie, extra large with one of those big pockets in the middle. Not her normal style but it was enough to keep her from freezing. She threw on a random pair of soft polyester shorts, she was not going commando in jeans. The outfit didn’t look totally right in the other girl’s mirror, feeling like a dress up doll wasn’t the worst of her problems.

She made her way down the stairs from the bedroom, drowsily hanging onto the railing as she entered the kitchen. A small black cat greeted her when she reached the ground level, pawing at her feet with a high pitched meow. He wasn’t that small of a cat once Emily got a closer look at him, crouching down and staring into his round green eyes. The feline was more fur than body, likely being one of those incredibly fluffy long haired breeds, she didn’t know much about cats other than the fact this one was really talkative.

The loud cries in the night made a lot more sense now when she was face to face with the perpetrator of the noises that kept her up. She assumed it was just the voices in her head acting up because she didn’t have any seroquel on her that night - okay she did but she didn’t feel like getting it from her ‘98 saturn. The creature sniffed at her legs, brushing his whiskers against her leg hairs which made the girl shiver. He mewled at her, trotting over to the corner of the kitchen, smacking the empty bowl.

“Don’t look at me, I don’t know where your food is!” Emily attempted to argue with the cat as he swept his fluffy tail back and forth in discontent. What the fuck was she supposed to give it? Her ex-boyfriend’s dog used to eat table scraps, but weren’t cats pickier than dogs? She sighed, going into the kitchen and opening the fridge, surprised with how much food was inside and untouched. She’d kill for this amount of plentiful food on a daily basis, until she looked a little closer. Cartons of eggs with expiration dates that had already long since passed, jugs of milk that smelt like an atomic bomb went off.

Normally, Emily would rather die than do any house work, but this was a fucking culinary calamity on display. If she left it as is it’d be one of the worst crimes she ever committed, and that’s saying a lot.

Tearing apart the fridge was the easy part, taking everything out and placing it on the countertops, the only annoying part about it was making sure she didn’t trip over the cat. The hard part was looking at all of the expiration dates and finding all of the tiny things. It was like trying to find a normal, not a pedophile, not a racist, and not a druggie adult in the school’s staff. Capitalism is a fucking bitch- is it capitalism- whoever made these labels was a massive pain in the ass. She squinted at a jar of salsa, seeing the date written in a light gray font and obscured by the red tomato paste sloshing around. June 6th 2000. That shit went straight in the trash can. 

Emily winced at the loud sound, forgetting the jar was made of glass as it shattered inside the plastic barrel. The noise itself didn’t bother her, moreso the fear that Karen would walk down the stairs and see the adrenaline junkie blonde throwing food around the house like a raccoon digging through the dumpster. The dark haired girl’s fridge basically was a dumpster, there was practically nothing edible inside! An edible for breakfast would be better than years old salsa with rotten eggs on the side.

She turned around to find the cat staring up at her once again, emerald eyes piercing into her soul. It meowed, continuing to paw at her feet, claws unsheathed this time as Emily hissed back at the cat. “Fuck you! If you want this rotted shit you can dig in the trash.” She spat, saliva falling on the ground which made the cat arch his back and growl.

The blonde frowned, letting out a sigh and opening the cupboard inside the kitchen. It was just as full as the fridge, although not being refrigerated meant this food might not poison anyone that got near it. Nothing inside looked radioactive at the very least, so she took the bag with a cat design on it and placed it on the ground. Emily walked over to the empty bowls, refilling the cat’s dry food bowl until the kibble started to fall on the ground next to the tray. She wrapped the bag back up, leaving it on the counter to place back in the cupboard once she finished cleaning everything out.

Unlike her own home, no, she couldn’t call it a home- unlike her own place of residence, there was actually a reason to bother making this house a little more livable. It was so clean on the surface, she was surprised to see so much filth underneath. Guess that was how Karen’s life was, or how her parents wanted it to be anyways, shiny and tidy on the outside, no one allowed in to dispute those claims.

She was looking too much into an existence that wasn’t her own.

It took her at least half an hour to go through the plethora of expired food, finally reaching the limit of her patience. Over half of the contents that were once in the fridge now sat at the bottom of the trashcan. The autumn breeze coming through the open window wasn’t enough to dissipate the blonde’s sweat, she somehow still had energy coursing through her veins. Fixating her gaze on the small array of food at her disposal, she decided to make herself busy and start cooking. She hadn’t cooked anything other than a frozen meal in a couple years but it was worth a shot.

…

The smell of warm maple lingered in the air, light smoke following the smell as the blonde whistled. Her ears perked up, glancing towards the staircase she found the hungover girl stumbling down, clinging onto the railing like a lifeline. Soft pale hazel eyes widened at the sight in her kitchen, the trash can overflowing with a variety of unopened boxes, jars, jugs, etc. Emily gave her a grin, confident and full of the same energy she always had. That confidence crashed like a Jenga tower once the blonde let out a yelp, and flipped the pan she was holding. 

Karen frowned, lifting her glasses to rub her eyes with a long lasting yawn. “What are you doing here?” She sniffled, her voice laced in a raspy drowsiness that made it sound an octave lower than usual. The dark haired girl had changed into a much drier outfit than the one she wore to bed, an oversized purple tee shirt with a pair of black leggings.

For once in her life, excuses did not immediately flood the blonde’s mind, she couldn’t think of some reason she’d be there other than the stupid one. She cared about Karen. Wanted to take care of someone other than herself, even if she wasn’t paid to do so. Paid - that’s it- she was paid to make sure Karen got home safely and didn’t die from alcohol poisoning or pneumonia. As easy of an excuse as it was, somehow the words weren’t escaping the barricade her brain had formed without her knowledge.

“What does it look like I'm doing?” Emily raised an eyebrow, turning over the pancake she was cooking. Not exactly what she wanted to say but as long as she concealed the truth, the amount of lies she weaved was unimportant.

“...making breakfast?” Karen walked over to the kitchen, keeping one hand against the wall. She inhaled the fumes of flour, syrup and the bacon that was nowhere to be seen. The shorter girl looked up, noticing the microwave was plugged in.

If Karen was mad at her then Emily wouldn’t know what to do, girls were much more complicated than guys. Dudes wanted sex, drugs, and an ego boost, they were easy to please and easy to use. Girls were a whole other story, they wanted more than just that, sure, some of them loved the drugs and having their egos stroked just as much as dudes. This girl, the one Emily saved from drowning, the one that slept on her chest and wrapped her arms around her. She’d rather die than do drugs and her ego was so far buried underground that the blonde would need an entire excavation team to find it. There was nothing straightforward or effortless about her, which made her all the more enticing. Fuck- is Karen even not straight?

Soothing her nerves like a melody, the maybe straight maybe not girl softly giggled. A smile spread across her features, showing her dimples when she turned to face the blonde. “You found something in this house to cook with? I’m not even mad you’re eating my food, I’m just impressed.” Karen got on her tiptoes, reaching up to one of the cabinets to pull out a plate. She made a soft squeal, almost dropping the plate on the ground which made the blonde snort in amusement.

“I’m not cookin’ just for myself, it is your shit I’m using.” Emily raised one of the pancakes on the spatula, walking over to the dark haired girl and dropping the food on her plate. The chef, at least in this case, wasn’t anticipating the reaction she received from the other girl. The color in her face left quicker than a mouse fleeing from a hungry cat. She looked down at the plate with a frown, the pale color of her eyes was far more evident.

The blonde shuffled back to the stove top, turning off the burner whilst keeping her gaze locked on the black haired girl. Emily gently placed her hand under Karen’s chin, lifting it up so their noses were touching. Icy blue met a dusty hazel, both of their faces were a light shade of pink as the taller girl cleared her throat sheepishly. “We can split it if you want, I just want you to eat something,” her eyes drifted back towards her as she spoke, “..please?”

A small whimper escaped her throat, looking at the soft lips of the blonde that was holding her chin in place. It made the blonde’s heart race faster, licking her own lips and watching the girl squirm with a sadistic toothy smirk. Karen nodded letting out a quiet ‘uh-huh’, her warm morning breath touching the blonde’s face. It would make sense to let go at this point, the smaller girl already agreed to Emily’s proposition. Her mind went into autopilot, moving her hand behind Karen’s head, running her fingers through her hair.

“Are you comfortable?” The shark toothed girl murmured her question, taking in every soft sigh and whimper the other girl made.

“Mhm… are uh.. Are you..?” Karen’s voice quivered, looking up into the icy abyss of the taller girl’s eyes. The blonde saw the timid girl slowly get lost in her eyes, almost mesmerized by her gaze. It made her feel powerful, yet in some way, she also felt protective of the girl which made her heart race. She wanted to be the only one that made her so entranced, the sole person that got to see her this way. Lips so soft and alluring, Emily wanted to bite, she craved the other girl’s lips on her own and blood in her mouth from biting her.

“ Mrow!” A high pitched meow startled the two girls as they both felt something rub up against their legs. The black cat padded between them, rubbing his face on his owner’s ankle. It made the timid girl gently giggle while still face to face with the blonde, making her heart race faster. She pulled away from Emily, taking her hand out of her hair and looking towards the counter with a low gasp.

“Fiddlesticks, the food is gonna be cold!” Karen groaned, snapping her fingers with a small pout. She turned back once she heard the blonde let out a snort that broke into a snicker. Icy blue eyes sparkled while wiped away a nonexistent tear, running her fingers through her hair.

“Fiddlesticks?” Emily raised an eyebrow, a heavy sigh escaping her lips as she finally stopped laughing.

“Yeah- it’s like, I’m not swearing but I’m still frustrated. It’s a fiddlesticks moment.” She explained so happily that the blonde almost felt bad for making fun of her.

As cute as it was, Emily would rather die than unironically start saying fiddlesticks in her day to day life. “Well.. we should eat before this ‘fiddlesticks moment’ turns into an ‘awh fuck’ moment,” her eyes had a mischievous glint to them as she spoke, “It would make me really sad if you let the food I made us go cold.”

“Okay, okay.” Karen sighed, grabbing the plate and going to the living room. 

… 

“Why did you stay?” The black haired girl asked softly, taking a reluctant bite of pancake from the fork being held by the blonde. She looked into her blue eyes, trying to find an answer that wasn’t there.

“Why didn’t you run?”

“What?”

“Well, think about it.” Emily shrugged, grabbing a piece of bacon and taking a chomp out of it. She chewed in thought, tapping her chin as she laid next to the other girl. “You wake up on a Saturday morning to find the girl known for selling adderall and choking some bimbo bitch at your house. Wouldn’t you at least threaten to call the cops? Not like they’d do anything but- you allowed me to stay.” The blonde looked towards the tv, watching survivor absentmindedly.

“I wanted to know you myself.” Karen murmured, poking around at the pancake on her plate. “You’re not as scary as you make yourself seem, I don’t remember much from last night but, I think you saved me? I opened my eyes for a second and you were holding me while leaving Kelly’s place, you looked really upset.”

The blonde started coughing, making Karen look over at her with worry. She cleared her throat, trying to stop herself from choking on the bacon she was eating. Emily wasn’t used to hearing that, someone wanting to know her, look beneath the exterior and see who she was. The exterior was still her, nothing about it was disingenuous, she was just as reckless, violent, and disruptive as she made herself out to be. There was more, a small part she wasn’t used to letting others know, where she did shit that wasn’t just to save her own skin.

“It was a part of the job, Kelly paid me to make sure no one dropped dead at her party.” Emily answered dryly, scratching at the shorts she was wearing.

“Was staying here part of the job too?” Her voice was so earnest, barely above a whisper when she turned to face the blonde on her couch. If it wasn’t for Emily knowing that Karen was naive, she would’ve punched her immediately for the implications of that question. She sat up to answer her, looking into the curious hazel eyes of the timid girl.

Emily shook her head, scratching at her arm, anxiously picking at the scabs of her scars. “Not everything I do is for cash, it just didn’t feel right leaving you like that…” So uncharacteristically selfless it felt ingenuine coming from her, there was no venom or hunger behind the words. The light pink color spreading across Karen’s face was just as unexpected- god she wanted to gag at how stupid she felt. Heartfelt confessions weren’t made for her, hell, she was born to try and save a broken family, butterflies weren’t fond of her.

“Oh.. I uh… thank you..” Karen mumbled, adjusting her glasses as she faced away from the blonde in front of her.

“You’re not really watching Survivor are you?”

“Not in the slightest.”

Emily took the plate from Karen’s lap, hastily dropping it on the counter before tackling the girl down on the couch. The smaller girl let out a yelp as she was pinned down as though she were nothing but a gazelle to the hungry lion above her. The lion in question was gentle, her hands on her prey’s shoulders, toothy grin smiling down at her. The blonde shifted her position, placing one of her hands under the other girl’s chin, tilting it up to face her. A comfortable silence filled the air, the only thing they could hear were the sounds of each other’s breathing.

She waited for a response from the timid girl, patiently anticipating a sign that what she was doing was okay. Emily wanted- no- she needed Karen, but, what she desired more was for the light of her life to be comfortable with the circumstances. A small nod and a sheepish smile was all the blonde needed to dip her head and kiss the girl with the beautiful hazel eyes. Soft giggles escaped Karen’s lips, her glasses pressing up against the taller girl’s face. Neither of them minded, Emily enjoyed the delicate lips on hers, the drops of blood that touched her tongue when biting into such a delicacy.

Unlike the other kisses Emily had, this one was a lot calmer, less lustful and reckless. Karen was gentle with the way her tongue moved around the blonde’s, it wasn’t a battle for dominance, rather an affirmation she loved the icy girl’s control. Copper and saliva was all she could taste, pulling away from the smaller girl and triumphantly licking the blood off of her lips with a low purr. Hazy hazel eyes met icy blue, the former looked as though she was sent to another plane of existence with how dazed she was. If it wasn’t autumn, the blonde would’ve been convinced the girl she was straddling had intense facial sunburn.

“I love you…”

…

…

Emily’s heart dropped.

“...huh?”

Karen stared up at the girl in her lap, propping herself up against the arm of the couch to look at her better. The dark haired girl was still clearly attempting to catch her fleeting breath, brain processing like a windows operating screen. She gently wrapped her fingers around the collar of her hoodie that Emily was wearing, she loved the way it looked on her. The baby blue matched her eyes so perfectly it made the girl feel the butterflies swarming her heart. A blush crept on the blonde’s face with a low gasp, seemingly having not anticipated the typically timid girl to be so forward.

“...” All the confidence she built up quickly went down the drain once the adrenaline from the passionate kiss wore off.

“You gonna sit there and stare?” Emily teased, raising an eyebrow and poking the girl’s chest with her pointer finger.

“N-No..! Fiddlesti- agh- fuck-!” Karen groaned with a pout, getting a cackle out of the other girl. That mischievous, addictive laugh that made her heart skip a few beats and her knees feel like they were collapsing beneath her. “Emily, I like you, really like you. I watched the way you beat the crap out of people that bother you, I felt a rush when you berated Jeffery at the mall for me and called out his bluff-”

Emily introjected with a shrug, “I would’ve done that anyways-”

“Let me finish!”

“...I want you. The you that’s caring for me and arguing with Sylvester this morning,” She saw the way the blonde’s mouth opened, quickly placing her finger on her lips, “yes, I named him Sylvvester, shush.” Karen was acutely aware of the smug look on her face, the shit eating grin that defined Emily to a lot of people, the same grin the dark haired girl wanted to kiss. “You give me such a rush, it’s scary but in a roller coaster kinda way not in a I think I’m going to die sort of way. You hate mushy things I know- it just- it was a slip of the tongue and now I’m committing to it because that’s what the universe chose to happen.”

Karen’s nose pressed up against Emily's, their foreheads touching as the smaller girl took a deep breath. “I love you, Emily.”

Sharp fingernails grazed the girl’s neck as Emily wrapped her fingers around the collar of Karen’s sweatshirt. She planted a kiss on her lips, closing her eyes as her free hand made her way behind the dark haired girl’s neck, running up to lock into her hair. The two fell into rhythm, the blonde being more forward and forceful while Karen complied with her every movement, letting out soft whimpers or whines to indicate how she felt. She pulled the glasses off of her face to clear the fog, biting down on her lip while their tongues intertwined. The blood made her eyes widen with glee, peering into the anxious hazel as she reopened her eyes.

“Is it the adrenaline or me that you love?” The words left without a second thought, the sharp filter that kept herself safe was nowhere to be found. She wasn’t aware of what she said until she saw the frown spread across Karen’s features.

“It’s a part of you, so, of course I love the adrenaline, but it’s not all you are to me.” Her voice was soft, placing a kiss on Emily’s forehead with a cat-like purr. The blonde burrowed her head into the crook of Karen’s neck with a soft mumble, licking the soft skin that was exposed to her.

“..thanks.” Emily mumbled, wrapping her arms around the smaller girl, holding her tightly.

“Hm?”

Emily adjusted herself, making her gaze level with Karen’s as to get her words across clearly.

“I don’t.. I don’t understand love yet, that shit’s confusing and I don’t wanna make you feel like shit. I want to learn though, I wanna learn what love is like with you.”

“I’m happy with that.”