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Renee rubbed sleep from her eyes, pencil tapping against the half-finished suggestion of a sketch. An idea that she’d had hours ago now had finally begun to escape her, her mind drawing blanks whenever she tried to catch it. Her leg bounced unevenly, discontentment heavy in her chest and an uncharacteristic, childlike whine bubbled up in her throat. She hiccuped, pushing the notepad and pencil far from her eyes as her forehead fell to the desk.
She rocked and swayed restlessly, feeling herself slip into a far more comfortable headspace as much as she wished not to. Vulnerability, a still sore subject even after so long.
Behind you.
A far bigger Renee, Wraith, would have whipped her head around with a heart as fast as a buck’s at the sudden, watchful voice. There was only one, more reminders of her slipping.
Instead, a decidedly much smaller Renee slowly twists her body around in the swivel chair to face bright blue eyes, lips heavy in a pout she hadn’t consciously decided on.
“Chérie?” Natalie’s voice was characteristically soft, pleasant. Safe. “It is near midnight…”
Far, far too late. Renee didn’t want to think anymore, and she especially didn’t want to be big anymore.
“N—nigh’ nigh’…” She whimpered out tiredly. Distantly, she knew she perhaps should have warned Natalie, but accidents happened. She didn’t have to worry about that now, not when Natalie was kneeling in front of her, a warm hand gently cupping the side of her face before rubbing her fingers through inky bangs and undoing a haphazard bun.
“Are you small, mon bébé?”
There was always a special kind of softness that Natalie’s eyes held when she asked that question, always asked before doing more. To give Renee control, however small it, or she, may be.
Renee nodded weakly, hazy eyes growing heavier as the seconds ticked by.
“Do you know how young?”
She looked down at her hands, turning her palms up and down before closing them into fists with only one thumb up to show for it.
Natalie hummed, taking Renee’s hands into her own and gently caressing them with soft skin and warm palms. Her eyes traced the spidering scar that ran down the length of one of her arms and down to the tips of her fingers, her own fingers soon following her eyes as she rubbed the raised skin. It was calming.
When Natalie drew her hands back after a few moments before hooking them under Renee’s thighs and lifted her up to hold her against her chest, she sank easily into the protective hold. Her head came to rest in the crook of Natalie’s neck, the faint smell of sweet cucumbers and electricity steadily easing her further into a smaller headspace. No more voices, no more noise.
No more storms…
Natalie gently rubbed her back, simply swaying with her for a few moments. She pressed a kiss to Renee’s temple, tucking her hair behind her ear as she whispered quietly, “Let’s get you a nice warm bath, with bubbles—“
Renee’s head shot up in excitement at the mention of a bubble bath, giggling and bouncing in the hold she was kept in.
“Allow me to finish, princesse!” Natalie chuckled softly, “Now, where was I? Yes, a nice bath of bubbles, and then your softest pajamas, and then we can snuggle and watch whatever you want to!”
She finished with a bright, sunny smile, “How does that sound, mon bébé?”
Renee nodded rapidly, smiling herself. No more storms. She could be as childish as she wanted to be, now.
Natalie kissed her nose, her cheeks, her eyelids, anywhere she could reach until the little one in her arms was a fit of giggles and burying her face into her neck to hide from the loving onslaught. The blonde mimed as if she could no longer find Renee, tsk’ing softly with a huff.
“Mon dieu! Wherever has she gone?” Regardless, she still walked towards the bathroom, muffled mischievous laughter still coming from below her ear that she pretended to ignore, “Elusive little ghost, she is. Perhaps bubbles can bring her back.”
Little Renee loved baths.
Warm water on her skin to wash the ickiness away, the good-smelling melon soap that her Mama would drizzle into the water and fluff up with her hands to make the shiny bubbles she loved to stare at and play with, simply being loved by her carer and far away from the scary outside world for a little while.
Currently, she was very enraptured by the plastic nessie that was hidden just beneath a thick pocket of bubbles, waiting for its green head to surface. It was far more fun than waiting for the shampoo in her hair to be washed out.
She would catch it. And definitely not spray Mama with its water-dispensing mouth.
With a gentle chuckle, Natalie smoothly removed her arm from the water while Renee was still distracted by the plastic toy and reached for a cup instead, filling it with water before tapping a pale shoulder.
“Tilt your head back and close your eyes for Mama, chérie.”
Obediently, the little threw her head back and closed her eyes tight as a vice, cheeks puffing out as she held her breath. Natalie’s hand came to rest on her forehead, trying to block the water from reaching her eyes as she rinsed her hair. Water cascaded down her head, washing away the smell of apples and weighing down long, dark hair. Nimble fingers carded through the strands, squeezing out the excess until water ran clear.
“All done!” Natalie clapped when she pulled her hands back, a wide smile on her face that Renee mimicked before she reflexively shook her head to wick away more water as her carer reached for the bat printed towel hung on a rack. She lifted her out of the bath, wrapping her in the warm towel as she held her in her arms and dried her off.
Natalie softly booped her little’s nose, bright blue eyes looking back at her with such genuine adoration. She would never tire of seeing the true color instead of the haze that overtook them so much.
She carried Renee to the closet, shifting her to her hip easily. A little was easy to carry when you carried a heavy pylon on your back most days, “Now, what pajamas should we wear?”
Her spare hand searched through the hangers of sleepers, but she couldn’t get another word out before a hand excitedly pointed at and reached for the purple space-printed fabric. Of course.
“Silly me! Of course my little space cadet needs her proper uniform,” She smiled, pulling it off the rack as Renee kicked her feet giddily.
Natalie would never complain about being Renee’s caregiver. She was an easy little, content to play gently and easily amused by nearly anything presented to her. Some could call her fussy or sensitive for being quick to cry, but to Natalie she was perfect.
She was perfectly content to rest in her caregiver’s lap, purple pacifier in her mouth as half-lidded eyes watched the animated movie play. Her head rested on Natalie’s chest, fingers played with her hand idly, gentle and grounding as she just rubbed smooth skin.
Natalie brushed her bangs out of her eyes with her free hand, kissing her forehead and earning a nuzzle deeper. She began to hum, an old tune her own Papa used to sing to her.
“Frère Jacques, Frère Jacques,
Dormez-vous? Dormez-vous?
Sonnez les matines! Sonnez les matines!
Din, din, don. Din, din, don.”
She was slow and calm, quiet, as she sang the gentle lullaby, idly carding her fingers through Renee’s hair. As she finished, she heard soft snores coming from the little. Glancing down, she could see those blue eyes had drifted shut and her fingers had stopped playing with Natalie’s hand.
Her heart melted entirely.
She turned off the screen, kissing her baby’s forehead again as she pulled up the covers over them both.
“Je t’aime, mon petit fantôme.”