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Why am I being punished? Is it because I love someone who I'm not supposed to? Or is it because my love was too much for this world to bear. Isn't it too cruel to make someone suffer just because of their love, or is it because love is sacrificial in its nature.
All I ever wanted was for her to be with me no matter where we are or what form we’re in. All I ever wanted in this world was not power or glory or fame, all I ever wanted was for her to stay by my side.
Is it too much to ask?
I continued dragging my feet across the plaza as I tried not to remember every memory I spent with her here. But god must’ve hated me to the core. I heard a voice- a voice of salvation. The voice of whom I longed for.
I looked back to see a girl carrying a picnic basket on her right arm while her left hand was busy inspecting trinkets displayed on the plaza.
“OOHH!! It’s beautiful!!” She exclaimed excitedly as she brought the trinket up her head. The sunlight went to the trinket and small particles of light came out of it projecting small figures of stars.
She continued to inspect the trinket while I stood there in front of her. As if the people around us were walking in slow motion. Time always stopped whenever I looked at her. Such a precious human to be unaware of her fate. Unaware of my existence.
I continued to stand there while looking at her. However, she met my gaze. For a moment I thought I came back to life. My lover came back for me but it did not last long when I noticed her bow for a little bit as a sign of respect before going back to what she was doing as if I was a stranger to her- no, I am a stranger to her.
“It was always like this. I remember you but I never existed in yours. Why are you being so unfair, Kate?” The young lemurian whispered as he watched a certain girl busy buying a trinket in the middle of the busy market..
Their gaze that met with each other earlier as if it was destined to happen. The young lemurian was drowned again in her eyes just like how it has always been. As if it was a story written in the book of life. It was always his role to be born as her lover while she’s the opposite, she’s a free soul that’s not bound with any role in life.
“How ironic is it, I am a lemurian but I always seem to drown whenever I look at you,” he whispered, wishing that the girl could hear his pleas and sorrow.
And as if God took pity on the young lemurian, The girl heard his pleas, The young girl looked at the man confused with his words, the young girl pondered in her mind, is he someone who I am acquainted with?
“Excuse me, Mr?” The young girl asked, The lemurian freezes when he realizes that the young girl is now standing in front of him.
Shocked by her sudden appearance the young lemurian immediately covered his face with his mask to hide his heated face embarrassed at the thought of her hearing his pleas but then he looked at the eyes of his old lover again.
It’s the same eyes. Those eyes that shared their joy, agony and anger with him. Those eyes that once shared a future with him. Those eyes whom he always wanted to see first thing in the morning after he woke up. Those eyes of the woman he loves.
“Rafayel?” As if the world stopped moving, the image flashed before his eyes changed. The young girl who was once standing in front of him was now crying before him.
“Please… I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I had no other choice” The girl begged for forgiveness. Rather than replying, the lemurian sang that drove that young girl to her madness.
Before the lemurian closed his eyes, he saw his old lover again lying in her own pool of blood. Lying down the shore, puffy eyes that are evident as if the girl cried nonstop, and a smile spread in her face as if she was finally put on her peace.
“Rafayel?” Her voice called him out once again. Rafayel jolted up from laying down the bed as if he was splashed with cold water.
“Goodness! You scared me!” Her old lover, the very same girl who keeps appearing in his dreams, wearing a different identity but still the same person, standing right before him.
“I was just… I felt a sense of danger. I was afraid you might be in danger, Miss Bodyguard” Rafayel tried to avoid the situation.
The girl looked at him in disbelief. “And you trust me to believe that?” she asked in disbelief.
“Oh, come on, one caring about you wouldn't hurt.” Rafayel teased.
“My fist might hurt” The girl said in a harsh tone. The girl stood up from the bed and walked towards the door. Without saying anything the girl left the room leaving Rafayel behind.
Rafayel stared at the door for a minute, he raised his hand to clutch his chest. It hurts, seeing his lover die countless times in front of him, to see his lover change every time she gets a new personality.
Despite the feeling of grief, Rafayel stood up from the bed and soon followed the girl. “Smells delicious…” Rafayel whispered.
“Yeah, I whipped us some breakfast, I thought that Mr. Painter deserves it, sit down, I'll bring you your plate” The girl demanded, it was a soft command, like what a mother would usually say to his child.
Pissed with what he heard, he pouted and sat down on the chair like a grumpy child.
“I'm not a kid, stop treating me like one.” Rafayel whined. The girl chuckled and looked at him for a bit before turning back to what she was doing.
“Well, if you're not a kid, cleaning a little bit after you make a mess wouldn't be that hard. Hmmm, what other traits are there if a man says they're no longer a child?” She put her thumb and index in her chin pretending like she's thinking.
“Well- I can’t argue with that” Rafayel looked down ashamed.
He felt a hand ruffling his hair soon followed by a plate placed in front of him.
“I'm sorry” The girl apologized. Rafayel looked up and he saw the girl staring down at her.
“Yes?” The girl asked, confused.
“I deserve a kiss,” Rafayel demanded.
“And with that, I won't cook you your lunch” The girl said laughing while heading back to the kitchen.
Like a child throwing a tantrum, Rafayel flaps his arms around and pouts even more.
“Meanie… Meanie” Rafayel called out to the girl. Only laughter came out of her mouth, she looked at him, she raised her hands brushing a little bit of sauce in Rafayel's mouth.
“Yeah… a mature man” The girl chuckles again. As the time stopped for a moment, Rafayel decided to capture this moment, his old lover laughing in front of him, his old lover flirting and teasing him, his old lover who doesn't remember him anymore.
“You're cruel…Kate” The girl flinched when she heard Rafayel changed his tone. The girl looked up at him with concern..
“Did I tease you too much? I’m sorry” The girl apologized.
“Am I that hard to remember?” Rafayel blurted out. Minutes after silence he gasped as if he said something that wasn't supposed to be said. The girl tilted her head to Rafayel.
“Did I make a promise that I forgot, Rafayel?” The girl asked.
Rafayel didn’t reply, instead he looked at the girl’s eyes. Yeah, maybe she doesn't remember it anymore, but she actually had a lot of promises she didn't manage to fulfill.
“Yeah..” Rafayel whispered to himself.
“Pardon?” The girl confirmed.
“Nothing. I said I'm mad at you for treating me like a child” Rafayel responded.
“Ohh~~ Is Mr. Painter angwy?” The girl teased her. Rafayel pouted even more because of the girl’s teasing.
As they continue to bicker in the kitchen. The doorbell rings followed by Thomas’ voice.
“Mr. Rafayel?” Thomas asked in the intercom.
Rafayel stood up from the table and pressed a button on the intercom. The girl’s eye followed Rafayel, staring at his figure as he was trying to negotiate with his assistant, Mr. Thomas on the intercom.
The girl chuckles as she turns back to the table to continue eating her breakfast. Her chuckle grabbed Rafayel’s attention.
“That's it, Thomas. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Rafayel stated firmly before cutting off the call.
His gaze landed on the girl’s back as he stood there watching the girl stuff her mouth with food. He sat back and ate his breakfast together with the girl, this time they were eating their food peacefully.
After eating their breakfast, Rafayel and the girl decided to clean the living room as a condition for joining Rafayel during his everyday walk by the beach.
“Why… so unfair, you can just say yes” Rafayel complained.
“Well, I am very sure that this will not last that long and tomorrow it will be another disaster that's why we have to clean it today to keep it minimal.” The girl replied.
“So what's the point of cleaning if I am still going to make a mess?” Rafayel whined.
“Let's just clean okay?” The girl replied. Rafayel stared at her for a minute before sighing in defeat.
After cleaning together. Rafayel and her are finally on their daily walk by the beach.
“I know… this is weird, but everytime I walk here, it makes me feel like I’ve been here before.” The girl blurted out suddenly.
Rafayel almost stopped on his tracks when he heard what the girl said, “Is it?” He asked hesitantly.
“Yeah, it's as if I… am with-”
“Look! It’s a goldfish!” Rafayel cut off the girl.
The girl stopped on her tracks and looked back to Rafayel who was now crouching at the sand while picking up the dead goldfish.
“Don’t pick it up,” The girl reminded him.
“I know.” Rafayel responded.
“You already…knew, didn't you?” The girl asked.
“I would be stupid if I didn't know.” Rafayel said.
As if it was a queue for something. The girl’s body glows like a luminescence in the sand. “I’m sorry, Rafayel.”
Rafayel took a step forward and cupped the girl’s face. Under the sunset the couple finally share their first kiss, on the same beach that they share their first life.
“I will always, always love you no matter what your form is, I will always find you wherever you are, and I will always wait for you no matter how long. Just always remember that you have a home you can come back to.”
As the sun finally set the girl’s body disappeared together with the light. And as if the earth knew his pain, rain started to pour.
“Did she… return to the ocean?” Thomas asked.
“Yeah” Rafayel whispered.
Flashback -
“Mr. Rafayel?” Thomas asked.
Today is like every other day. First, he has to drop off to the hospital to get the prescribed medicine then delivers it back to the painter’s house.
After the death of his lover, the painter developed a mental illness called schizophrenia. It’s an illness that makes the patient see hallucinations. However, the painter doesn’t want to believe it and he always believed that her lover was just part of the ocean that had to come back before sunset. And her lover would return back to his arms early in the morning.
“Yes, Thomas?” Rafayel's voice was heard on the intercom.
“I’m here to deliver your medicine sir.” Thomas responded.
“Medicine? I don’t have a fever nor a couch or a sneeze?” Rafayel asked Thomas confusedly.
“Sir…” Thomas responded hesitantly.
“Is it about my lover again?” Rafayel confirmed.
“Yes… But sir-!” Before Thomas could even respond.
“That's it, Thomas. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Rafayel stated firmly before cutting off the call.