Work Text:
It's just another uneventful day, one of those slow weeks where nothing major is happening. They are a great valuable downtime amidst the chaos that usually happens, but for some reason, Gray seems very nervous for the past few days.
The smell of green tea fills the study. A huge stack of tomes has been put next to the worn out green couch in the middle of the room, where a man with long black hair has laid to rest, his arm covering his face. Only his frown is visible, as he lets out a heavy sigh into the tea and paper smelling room.
Gray adds a spoon to the cup, and aside from the groaning, it's the only sound together with a very old school clock ticking away in the left corner of the room.
“Here, I made you your tea.” The man turns around slightly, then gets up very slowly. His hair is disheveled, his eyebags are more visible than usual, and not to speak of his frown.
The young woman puts down the cup on the small table in front of the couch.
“Thank you.” he says dryly, his gaze wandering to the clock, and then outside the window. “Already too late, and so much meaningless paperwork to do.” As he reaches out to grab a cube of sugar, his hand brushes past Gray, who wanted to add one for him. She quickly pulls back her hand, and a slight blush appears on her cheeks.
El-Melloi doesn't even pay attention, as his gaze is already lost in the depth of the cup of tea.
Too much boredom, and no cases to work through except the case of a lot of paperwork, makes him feel like he is being dragged through an endless chewing gum. Time just keeps on slowly stretching like one, endlessly slow and boring.
“Uhm, do you want me to help you out with the paperwork?” Gray hesitatingly asks, and looks over to the papers spread across his desk.
“You have your studies to do, don't worry.” he abruptly brushes her off and takes a sip. The warmth spreads comfortably inside his body, like a warm hug from the inside.
Gray slowly sits down in front of him, trying not to meet his gaze. She seems to be startled when Waver asks her a question.
“Reines told me she wanted to take you out, I told her to go ahead. Your work is done here for the week.”
“Yes, she already took me shopping together. We purchased two nice dresses for me, and this wonderful hairband.” Shyly she brushes through her hair and a soft ribbon appears in her fingers. “If you ever want…you can join us.”
Waver coughs and waves at her. “I don't belong to the outside, you know that. And I have to finish my safe file from yesterday, I am at the final battle. That takes precedence.”
Gray slumps a bit into the seat, before she catches herself again. “No worries, I know it's important to you. Don't forget your work, alright?” El-Melloi nods and watches her get up and move to the door. It's already meal time, so he should later cook some noodles.
“See you tomorrow, Professor.” Gray gently smiles, and closes the door behind her. “See you tomorrow.” he replies delayed, as the door already falls into its frame.
Hmm, should he try out the spicy ones he got at the mart? Or the usual ones with their mellow soba taste? Downing his cup of tea, his gaze returns to the papers, and he sighs once more into the now empty room.
After that beast of work he cannot hide from, else Reines will give him a scolding of a lifetime.
The next day, Gray brought a tray of little cakes. She insisted she baked them because Reines asked her to help, and she watched with great joy, as Waver ate every single one she made for him.
“A bit too sweet, but I like it.” he says and cleans up his hands with a napkin, after devouring the last one. “Hmm, thank you for the feedback. I am not good at this yet, but I am glad I made progress.” She looks away, her cheeks flushing.
“You really need a hobby outside of helping me, so I am glad you finally found something you like.” Waver says, and picks up the ink pen again, to continue the paperwork.
He doesn't notice Gray fiddling around as if she wants to say something, as he didn't notice her trying to get him to notice the little cupcakes decoration. The young woman went out of her way to decorate them with little candy that said “Love” and “I heart you!”, but they all vanished inside him within any further glance.
The following day, Waver woke up on his desk. Instead of the cold wood under his cheek, he feels a pillow. Rising slowly and feeling incredibly sluggish, he notices that someone put a pillow under his head while he fell asleep over his work again.
“How late is it…” trying to make out the clock in the other room, he squints and a shock rushes through his body. It's already past noon, and he has not been at his usual weekly report with Reines.
Quickly grabbing a jacket, he heads out, the light imprints of the pillow still on his cheek. At Reines' office, Gray already stood waiting. She smiles faintly as usual, and worryingly looks at his face. “You have the pillow marks left on your face.” She slowly reaches out and brushes his hair together, and produces a rubber band, to tie it together. With utmost care, she takes care of his appearance.
Afterwards, she steps back and looks downwards, her fingers intertwined, as she hides her red cheeks.
“You are prepared as always, thank you.” Waver lifts his hand to knock, but Gray interrupts him. “Uhm, can I ask you something later?”
“First Reines, but do tell.” He knocks and Reines' shrill voice calls him inside, his face immediately showing a sour regret. Gray could hear her reprimanding him for at least five minutes, while she stood outside and studied her fingers and intensively thought about him. Have her attempts at getting closer even worked? She consulted Reines about this and endless books at the local towns bookstore, and she tried every little sign she could do. Body language, speech, gifts and appreciation, she tried it all. Yet he seems to be like an immovable rock, his mind is always somewhere else.
Sometimes it seems as if he is still partially stuck in the past, a time he likes to talk about when he is drunk. There are only two times at the Clock Tower gathering where he had enough alcohol, to start endlessly talking about his earlier servant, about the Grail War he participated in, and his fond memories of the great man that led him down this path.
This, or the games he likes are the things he mostly talks about.
She tried to get closer to him that way, but he blocks off the moment someone tries to pry too deep into the relationship between him and Iskandar.
As the door opens again and a clearly exhausted Waver appears, she immediately steps forward to grab his arm and lead him towards a wall. He leans to it, closing his eyes and dramatically reciting the work and wise words Reines has given him.
And Gray listens as usual, and leads him back to the office.
Opening the window, a fresh breeze fills the room, much to Wavers dismay. Grumpily he throws himself onto the couch and stretches out as he always does.
“You mentioned you wanted to talk about something.”
“Ah!” Surprised Gray turns around, almost dropping the books she wanted to put in front of the window to keep it from closing. “I-It's nothing, just a spur of the moment. This can wait” Waver opens his eyes again and stares directly at her. “Well, you have been acting weird for the past weeks, is everything alright? Are you getting sick or something like that?”
Gray puts down the books and slowly turns around, avoiding his gaze. His words sting like needles of ice.
The dark haired man leans back and closes his eyes again, not forcing an answer out of her. He remained like that, when Gray gathered her courage to put a step forward.
It felt like walking on cracking ice, and one misstep would send her into the eternal freezing torment of unrequited love. “I noticed that…” she stops talking and fiddles with the seams of her cape. “...that I really like you. You are a strong person mentally, and very wise. I look up to you and really appreciate being with you on so many adventures already. And you don't judge me or my face, give me purpose…” Gray takes a deep breath before she lays herself bare.
“I really like you, more in a more heartfelt way…” That was a total blunder. Her cheeks start to burn up, and she just wants to hide in her cape. Yet, that ice cracked and the cold waters took her in.
“I like you as my student as well of course. You showed promise and fulfilled all my expectations.” He opens his eyes again and stares at the ceiling for a moment, before he continues talking. “Now at least I know I do a good job.”
That is all he said. It's as if he didn't even understand the concept of love, what if he didn't notice that she said she really liked him? Panic rushes in cold.
Another breath. “And I said that…I really like you. "More than that.”
“Hmm, yes. And I appreciate that, and I cannot return those feelings.” he simply said, closing his eyes again and folding his arms as he always does before he takes a nap.
But it didn't feel like drowning, those cold needles that felt like they tore her heart apart seemed to disappear. They melt and leave her with a strange sentiment. Maybe…it's better this way?
“Thank you for those words again.” Gray replies slowly. “I will not further disturb our relationship and try my best!”
Waver only replies with a tired “Hmm”. The woman expected to feel that dread everyone wrote about when being rejected. Yet it felt like…a heavy stone breaking off her heart. Wanting to cry out of joy, not because of sadness. Removing herself from the room, her tears start streaming the moment the door closes.
It has been a very long time since she cried, and it feels more like self-cleansing. A few students passing by looked at her in worry and some even mildly bewildered, but she smiled. Through these tears, she smiled.
Being outright rejected was alright and what she needed, to restart and clean this emotional chaos inside of her.
Inside the office, Waver stares at the ceiling. It slowly dawned on him when she said it again, that she talked about romantic feelings. And he immediately knew, he cannot return them. He rejected her so fast, he felt a slight tinge of sorrow.
“And yet I am still not good with people and their emotions.” he mumbles and stretches out his hand into the air, remembering Iskandar's smile and his hand patting his back when he did something good. She will be alright, he knows that.
The stack of papers, now shrunken down to half of its size, comes into view. For now, there is just work and the sweet memory of his Servant on his mind.
But first, a nap.