Chapter Text
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Absolute tragedy struck, much like a blade through the heart.
That is to say, A girl known in some versions of this world, as “Eichan” and others by a name she no longer considers her own, died cringe-fail style by the blade which is impressive considering she was living in modern-day Florida, but that’s Florida for you.
However, this is a story in which an absolute Keito simp, coward, and disaster of a human being, woke up as Rei Sakuma instead, uh oh.
For those unaware of the original tale or fond of the old, we shall tell a different version of the tale of her death however, we have to keep things unique around here…So let us begin the tale…
It began in a haunted house…
A dark stormy night…
And it ended…With her dying of a heart attack, caused by her brother's friend Keith, whom she had never actually spoken to before and was utterly unaware of, Dressing up as Keito Hasumi and appearing next to her in the haunted house, attempting to flirt with her.
Instantly causing not only his ears to explode, but her heart as well.
It was a mistake he could never take back.
Tragically It might have been a successful rizz attempt if he hadn’t done this in a haunted house. Absolute tragedy.
Jokes aside, she is dead. Which is very sad.
and this was soon followed by her dear brother Erin committing his very first murder.
It was a very bloody night.
Fitting for the rise of the brand-new Rei Sakuma.
She fell to the ground in her final moments, and soon her senses faded to the beat of the red and blue ambulance sirens, dying in the arms of a guy who now knew the answer to the question “What’s the worst that could happen if you tell your crush you like them”
She could die.
And then her brother might kill you for killing her.
˖ ݁𖥔 ..𖥔 ݁ ˖🦇 ݁˖ ݁𖥔 .˖ ݁𖥔 .
When she stirred again, pulled from the heavy darkness of death, she found herself resting in a strange dark place, suffocating and small. There was soft plush silk all around her and a pillow beneath her head. The place she was sealed inside smelled faintly of tomato juice, and she could feel a slight damp spot on one side of the wall from, well, tomato juice.
She tried to sit up in the heavy darkness, and promptly smacked her head on the lid…of the coffin she was sealed inside. Her eyes widened, useless as it was, in the darkness. Panic rose in her chest and she once more felt pain in her chest as she frantically slammed her hands up, screaming “NO please don’t bury me please! Please! I’m alive! I’m alive-“ knocking the lid off effortlessly as it turns out, it actually wasn’t buried.
She looked around frantically, expecting to be at her own funeral, placing a hand over her racing heart as she looked around the dark room. It appeared to be…a classroom? It clearly was a fancier one than the sort she ever saw in Florida though…
She slowly looked around, then down at the coffin she had been stored inside. “…What is happening?” She croaked out. Her poor voice, had she suffered that much damage from the heart attack?
Maybe it wasn’t a classroom, she’s never been inside a morgue before…she clambered out of the coffin, dizzy and dazed. Her mind spun as she clutched her head, getting a handful of dark curls that she couldn’t see well yet. Maybe she was a zombie now? Maybe - no no she still feels sentient and sane, maybe she’s just…been mistakenly buried? Pranked? It is Halloween after all.. Her chest still hurt…
What was the last thing she saw? Wasn't it...Someone dressed like Keito? What a weird thing to do..but she hoped she didn’t traumatize him by dying like that... He’d been rather dashing suddenly appearing, catching her off guard, if only she weren’t so shy maybe she’d have survived the sudden swan dip…
Her heart fluttered again and she had to cover her face with her hand in shame. She could never face him again after that… Was it because he was dressed as Keito that it worked or was it because he was actually charismatic?
She genuinely wasn't sure.
She pushed open the door to see a concerned-looking Keito standing outside the door.
“Are you alright? I heard screaming” He frowned, he didn’t seem happy to see her.
“AH! I’m sorry! I’m so sorry I’m so sorry!” She jumped back burying her face in her hands. This is horrible!
“Why are you sorry? You sounded terrified, is something going on? Honestly, just because we don’t get along doesn’t mean you should hide from me when you’re scared, what’s gotten into you?” he scoffed.
She withered back. “What do- what do you mean don’t get along…?” She mumbled “Oh no…” She kept hiding behind her hands. “I’m sorry I don’t know what’s going on. I just woke up in a coffin…I thought someone buried me…I don’t know what’s going on…” she mumbled her voice starting to betray her, she found it increasingly hard to speak, like a valve being slowly turned shut and the pressure behind it building till she couldn’t open her mouth at all.
“…What do you mean?” Keito asked, his eyes widening. “Sakuma, are you having a medical emergency? I need you to cease acting right now if you’re pranking me somehow, if this is a legitimate medical emergency we need to get you to the hospital right now.” He said firmly taking out his phone.
She couldn’t open her mouth, she didn’t want to go to the hospital but every time she tried to think of what had happened all she remembered was the blazing pain in her chest and she had to gasp and remind herself she was still in fact, breathing.
She couldn’t respond.
Keito took that as proof something was severely wrong. Luckily he’d been doing a check around the school to see if anyone was still on campus that wasn’t supposed to be at this hour.
He called for an ambulance and then put his phone away after explaining the situation, he then calmly walked over and gripped her by the shoulder.
“Alright, Let’s just calm down, can you remember your name?” He asked.
She couldn't muster up a sound, instead she just sort of nodded.
“…Can’t speak?” He asked after a moment’s pause “Fine, we’ll just keep going from here.” He said “Can you follow me downstairs? We’re going to take you to the hospital, alright?”
She nodded quietly, holding out her hand shakily to him and grabbing his sleeve.
Keito looked down in confusion, his heart twisting painfully as he looked up at her face.
This was, after all, as far as he knew, the face of his once dear friend Rei Sakuma. The thought that he might have suddenly and mysteriously lost his memories is..frightening.
“I’ll contact Ritsu, would you like that?” Keito asked as they made their way along to the elevator.
She froze up and stepped back unwilling to get in.
He looked over in confusion at Rei, tugging him forward toward it, but ‘Rei’ Wouldn’t budge.
“…Fine, stairs it is. I’ll call Ritsu” he said.
As he did so, it occurred to ‘Rei’ that she had no idea what he meant by contacting Ritsu, That’s a fictional character and all…
But as they made their way through the school, She began to realize to her horror, that this was a very familiar place.
Her breath sped up, and by the time Keito was able to get Ritsu to pick up the phone she was hyperventilating.
“Ritsu, can you please speak to your brother? I found him screaming in his usual room he sleeps in… He’s very confused and seems to be experiencing some sort of amnesia, agh- he’s hyperventilating, Quick, I think he’s having a panic attack.” He said quickly handing the phone to ‘Rei’.
“…What’s going on…? You’re not messing with this guy again, are you? I don’t want to get dragged into some sort of scheme…” Ritsu’s familiar voice filled Rei’s ears.
But all Ritsu got in return were hurried, desperate gasps, hiccuping breaths that made his stomach sink.
“…Hey? Are you messing with me too? …Stop breathing so fast you’re going to pass out-“
But the darkness crept in, she couldn’t stop hyperventilating and she knew she wondered in her fleeting few remaining moments of consciousness if she had just died for the second time.
When the darkness consumed her, she dropped the phone to the ground, Keito quickly rushing to catch her as she fell limp against him, her breath slowly settling.
“Sakuma! Sakuma-…This…what’s going on?” Keito struggled to hold him upright, carefully readjusting how he was holding him so he could crouch down and get his phone, and he was forced to carry Rei the best he could as he hurried down to the ambulance.
It would be a few hours later before Rei awoke in the hospital.
Her head was spinning. She couldn’t help but almost throw up when she sat up, her limbs felt heavy and she was so…so tired.
She looked around to see what…very much so appeared to be Ritsu Sakuma fast asleep, with his head resting on the bed and using a chair to sit as close as possible to the hospital bed.
She figured it must be another cosplayer, just like whatever happened in the haunted house…
Right? Right? Okay no she can see Yumenosaki through the window of the hospital. Why is this happening to her? What did she ever do to deserve this?
She paused, wait if she’s here, why does Ritsu care at all about her wellbeing?
Why would Keito say they don’t get along?
She slowly looked down at herself.
That didn’t tell her much, thin, pale limbs wearing a dark blue sweater and some black pants…
Woke up in a coffin, now that gives her a hint.
She slowly shakily reached up, touching her hair and slowly running her hand through it…Yes, that’s…That’s both shorter, and curlier than she was used to.
And most notably, she was now a he.
And He was starting to suspect what happened.
He slowly sank back down into his pillow staring at the ceiling numbly.
He always thought it would be fun to be in the ensemble stars world, to be isekaied!
This doesn’t sound fun anymore. Not only is she a character who gets along horribly with her favorite character, but he’s an intimidating vampirey guy who’s…flirty and charismatic.
The worst part is, he’s smart.
And She was not a smart person.
He sighed in defeat. This was very very very bad, but He had to play along till he knew what was going on right?
“…Ritsu?” he said slowly, testing out his voice. Now that he was actually paying attention to it, it was a rather handsome voice, though He rarely listened to songs Rei sang as the first few he tried to listen to…were more than he expected and he was too shy to watch anything else.
Ritsu’s head shot up and he looked excited, and relieved, then slipped right back into irritated.
“Well it sounds like you have your memories back then, so my work here is done.” He stood up crossing his arms.
“I don’t…know, you are Ritsu though, right?” He asked, trying to buy himself some time to think of a plan. What did he want to say? He couldn’t act too aware of what’s going on…
“…Yes?” Ritsu turned back to him.
He smiled apologetically. “I see, yes, I recall…We were on a phone call together, you were the person who was trying to calm me down, weren’t you?” He said slowly. Ritsu didn’t feel like nearly as much of a threat as Keito was, Keito…was well, …Keito.
Ritsu’s just a little guy.
A little guy whose eye widened in pained fright when he heard that. “Stop it, I don’t want to play some stupid game. Are you serious right now?”
“…I’m sorry…I’m really not playing a game. I’m not sure if I know where I am or what’s going on, I hope you can forgive me, are we close?” he asked.
Ritsu stiffened, he looked more than just frustrated, he looked hurt, betrayed, and confused, and yet he seemed aware he couldn’t blame Rei for it either.
He shut his mouth instead of responding.
Rei sat there, watching in stunned shock as Ritsu just stormed off instead of speaking to him. He hoped that would give him a chance to rebuild his relationship with Ritsu or something but clearly, Ritsu now felt even further from him, a thought that twisted the knife in his chest that hadn’t quit hurting since his death.
“…hm” he lowered his head putting his head in his hand. He had already gone and made one mistake that would make Ritsu hate him worse, so he’s clearly doing a great job already at this whole being isekaied thing…
Well done, Rei Sakuma.
He dragged himself out of the bed and off to the bathroom attached to the hospital room, deciding he might as well get a look at himself. As he passed through the door he startled slightly at his reflection. He knew it was going to be Rei Sakuma, but something about actually seeing Rei instead of himself was…jarring.
He touched his smooth skin, blemish free unlike his own. Unnaturally pretty eyes and soft curls that had been made a mess. Dark circles sat under his eyes in a way that never was truly shown in CG’s and official art, but made sense.
It was a tired body, one that felt far too long and spindly compared to her own which was much shorter and squatter. It was light, but in the same way, a rotted tree limb was light, not like how a bird is light.
“Why does this kind of thing happen to me? Why? Why…” He mumbled miserably. “I mean it’s never happened before but I would be just unlucky enough for this to happen to me…” he muttered to himself. Maybe it was because someone said m***th in the theater the day before? Who knows, all he knew was this felt like a joke, one that may on some cosmic level, be a running one he can’t escape, like this is only one version of a horrible fate he could never escape, doomed to repeat the same narrative and tropes over and over, from different eyes every time, destined to be consumed by both the narrative and the body he dwelled within.
He took a deep shaky breath, hey that seemed a little much right? He’s definitely overthinking this. He needs some water or something. That would fix him.
He tried his best to get some from the faucet, but it was one of those shoddy sinks with the weird angles on the faucet that’s way too short and stubby, so he turned to the shower and turned it on, figuring it was a good enough alternative.
This was an immediately terrible decision. He was, however, rapidly hydrated.
He stepped sopping wet out of the bathroom, blinking in shock at his own stupidity. He’d have turned the water off sooner, but he’d misjudged his new clumsy limbs and proceeded to slip and fall in which wasn’t great.
When he stepped out, there stood Keito, beside which was his older brother or so Rei guessed by the fact he looked a lot like a more mature, ponytail-wearing, strangely shaky Keito who looked like he was preparing a speech in his head.
Because he was. He had an entire act planned out and everything.
“…Sakuma, what happened?” Keito asked pushing up the bridge of his glasses.
Rei glanced at Keito’s older brother, thought ‘nice’, and then looked back at Keito. Though the more he tried to look at him the harder it felt, those pretty eyes, the soft green hair, it always made his heart rush, so he suffocated the feeling that kept trying to escape his heart and looked away, face red with shame at both his feeling and his current state. He wanted to retain a little dignity somehow…just a little.
This was quickly made difficult by his inability to speak.
He shrugged slowly giving up on explaining himself, but then Keito’s brother shockingly stepped in.
“It’s alright…I think we’ve both had a rough day, so why don't I take care of you to make it a bit better?” he said, a bit of a weird thing to say, which immediately earned a stunned confused expression out of both Rei and Keito.
Rei watched in confusion as Keito’s own older brother went out of his way to get a towel from the bathroom and gently towel off Rei’s head, smiling down at him fondly.
“First Rei starts acting strange and freaking out, then my own brother, and now this is happening…?” Keito asked slowly.
Rei blinked curiously, acting strange? Could whatever happened to him be related somehow to Keito’s brother acting weird? He wasn’t sure honestly but it would explain why he seemed so happy to towel him off.
“There we go, ah…I feel a bit better already…” he said, smiling down at Rei like Rei was supposed to recognize him. “It’s alright, you’re not alone now so just leave everything to me, I fear I’m responsible for this mess, so…um, please let me take care of everything now!” He said, trying really hard to look confident as he patted Rei the rest of the way dry.
Rei blinked slowly. He wasn’t sure why this guy would want to do anything for him let alone blame him but he figured it must be some sort of ritual gone wrong or something knowing this weird setting. Anything could happen really. Should he just cling to this guy and hope for the best? It was better than having no one who he could rely on, clearly, he had to have some idea he wasn’t actually Rei, Right?
Maybe he even had an idea for how to get him home…which he needed to do badly, he couldn’t imagine what Erin, his brother must be going through right now without him…
Keito could only watch in confused horror then, as slowly but surely, Rei Sakuma plopped right into the arms of his own older brother.
“What is this incorrigible nonsense! Stop immediately!” He began trying to push them apart, Rei couldn’t get away though, as Keito’s brother simply scooped him up in his arms proudly “I PROMISED TO TAKE CARE OF EVERYTHING You canT TAKE HIM FROM ME” He argued stubbornly lifting Rei up in the air. Rei wondered if this is how it feels to be a fish displayed by a fisherman.
“You can’t- This is complete nonsense- PUT HIM DOWN-“ Keito stubbornly tried to smack at his brother to make him drop him, but it did little good.
It took a good ten minutes for them to finally end their debacle.
When they did, Rei found himself sitting on the hospital roof alongside Keito’s older brother…
While Keito banged on the door of the hospital roof yelling at them, locked out with a propped-up broom. It made for an interesting background noise.
Rei sat on the bench beside the green-haired man, glancing nervously up at him.
“I know you don’t know me, But you can call me Keith, and It’s my very life's purpose…to make your life here as good as possible, Rei Sakuma,” he said.
She blinked slowly at him in dumbfounded confusion.
“...I'm so sorry, you’re saying your parents named you Keith?” He asked slowly, voice cracking. Don't laugh- “The older brother of Keito is…Keith” Don't laugh.
“well-“ he began.
She buried her face in her hands. Don’tlaughdon’tlaughdon’tlaugh don’t you dare laugh at this man dONT LAUGH.
“…my condolences.” She choked out after a moment. “But why is it your lifes purpose…to take care of me?” He questioned looking up. He twiddled his fingers. It was frankly kind of weird...and a bit unsettling that this guy was over here weirdly obsessed with him all of a sudden. Or at least it seemed sudden from his point of view.
“Well, It’s my fault we’re in this situation…” he trailed off.
“Can you maybe…explain why it’s your fault?” She said.
His expression faltered. “You don’t know? I mean- you- …you haven’t figured it out yet?” He asked “But- but you’re so…smart…” he trailed off.
“…I’m so sorry you have to find out the truth this way, Keith-kun…But no I’m not…” Rei replied solemnly. “I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about whatsoever…Please speak to me like instead of a brain I have a ham sandwich on rye…in my head”
“…um- okay.” He smiled softly in amusement tilting his head a little, he seemed to be processing that for a moment, yet it didn’t seem to decrease his fondness of him that was so inexplicable.
“If you don’t understand that’s…honestly probably for the best.” He sighed leaning back against the wall. “…I’m sorry, I must seem really strange, For some reason I thought you … probably knew me by now, after all these years…but I’ve always been…very fond of you” he trailed off.
Rei’s eyes widened as she incorrectly connected the dots.
Her face burned red and she looked away processing what he’d said. The implications this would have for the shipping chart she had alone was unspeakable.
“…Well I…I’m flattered. I suppose I won’t refuse the help. Thank you, um, Keith” She said.
“Of course.” He said, taking Rei’s hand.
Keito kicked the door open, shattering the broom, fuming, face red.
He stopped and stared in horror as a very confused Rei Sakuma had his hand kissed.
“What is it you desire most in this world?”
“…um- most?.. I want…” Rei trailed off, sputtering, utterly unaware of Keito’s barging in as he was frankly,, about to pass out again from the strange behavior of this stranger. Should he…be concerned???? What’s with this guy?
He glanced over at Keito who was physically trying to drag Keith away.
“Wh- wait-“ Rei said as Keith squirmed uselessly, dragged away by Keito who was at this point so full of adrenaline and rage he could effortlessly drag his brother away.
“YOU LEAVE NOW GO FIND A JOB in another cOUNTRY AND STAY AWAY FROM HIM DO YOU HEAR ME” Keito practically shouted, shoving his brother right back into the hospital rooftop entrance and slamming it shut.
He pointed at Rei who looked utterly baffled.
“WHY IS MY BROTHER FLIRTING WITH YOU?!” Keito shouted
“I don't KNOW I DON'T KNOW YOUR BROTHER???? I'M REALLY CONFUSED???” Rei shouted back
“THAT MAKES IT WORSE SOMEHOW” Keito flailed his arms. “DID HE EVER FLIRT WITH YOU BEFORE THIS?! HAVE YOU BOTH JUST GONE MAD!?”
Rei broke down in tears.
“I DON'T KNOW!!! I want to GO HOME I WANT MY BROTHER” He wailed in despair, falling off the bench and onto his knee. “I DON'T WANT TO BE FLIRTED WITH I DON'T UNDERSTAND PEOPLE OR TALKING TO PEOPLE” he cried.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAA”
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”
The two screamed for a while before finally calming down, before heading downstairs in baffled silence.
This would have been fine but when they reached Rei’s hospital room, there sitting on his bedside was a gift basket full of …wonderful cheeses.
Rei’s eyes widened, temptation growing.
How did this man know he loved cheese…?
Rei felt Keito’s hand around his throat, squeezing slightly.
“…I’m throwing that out the window now,” Keito said coldly.
“…oh boy. I love…gravity” Rei mumbled.
Keito calmly let go, took the basket, and threw it right out the window.
Rei’s heart broke, poor cheese, no…not the cheese…
The first time he’d received a gift basket in his life…thrown out the window…
All because Keito was understandably, very upset his brother suddenly was simping hardcore for Rei Sakuma.
Which was undoubtedly to Keito, the worst possible timeline he could be living in.
Little did he know how doomed these two were.
This is not, a romance story.
This is a mess, and no one in this story will be finding love.
(㇏(•̀ᵥᵥ•́)ノ)