Work Text:
Enanan - 1:00 am
「Mizuki, this is you, right?」
「I’m sorry.」
「Please…come back.」
The messages printed on their screen illuminated their dark workspace, warped with the tears that have unknowingly fallen from their eyes at the abruptness of the message. Mizuki couldn’t believe what they had been seeing, feeling as if it were a sick prank that’s being played to them.
Yuu @ Hakumei Couture - 1:01 am
「Operation hours are from 8 am-6 pm. One of our admins will get back to you shortly. For inquiries on dress commissions and quotas, please send an email through [email protected]. Thank you for your understanding.」
Almost immediately after the messages, an automated response from the bot they had set for after business hours popped up on the rather barren DMs section, which helped Mizuki buy some time into thinking about the brevity of Ena’s actions, but only posed so many more questions that they had no answers to.
They knew that the dress they had posted online had been quite on the dot based on the description, yet what they had not expected was for Ena to find it in such a short time, considering both the hour and the anonymity of their promotional account. Mizuki could only assume that with Ena’s grip on social media, she had already managed to track down their account a while back, yet was only unsure of whether or not it really had been Mizuki until that very day.
And here, they thought they did a rather good job of hiding their identity with an account name that didn’t exactly connect with them at any way, but perhaps their dressmaking style had given things away.
“How unfortunate,” they mumbled to themself with a tone of disdain and hurt, scoffing as they wiped their tears away pitifully.
Mizuki sighed, thinking of how to handle the situation from here on out. They had a choice to ignore the message, seeing as they could still continue running. After all, even if Ena found their account, she had no idea of their whereabouts.
But they questioned why she would be looking for them, apologizing even though they’re the one who left on their own volition. Sure, they couldn’t forgive her for reacting in such a way on the day they revealed their worries to the rest of Niigo, and that she had every right to hate their entire being, but they knew that none of it was her fault.
Mizuki was the disgusting one here, but they also didn’t owe Ena an apology. Especially when it all felt so sudden for her to show up without warning, looking for them when they didn’t want to be found and had made it clear from the day they left.
Perhaps they needed to get answers. Needing to know how Ena found them, and why she even looked for them in the first place when she had been the one to push them away despite waiting. Mizuki could only continue to think of it as a sick joke being played on them, attempting to lure them back into the clutches of torment now caused by the very people they trusted all those years ago.
They felt sick to their stomach.
Mizuki wanted to run away again.
But a realization hit them, and one of the answers to their many inquiries were likely lying within their immediate grasp.
“Meiko.”
A few moments of silence, and the brown haired hologram once again appeared on their laptop screen, with a small look of surprise painted on her face. “It’s rare for you to start a conversation with me. What is it?”
The tailor held up their phone to Meiko, showing the messages that Ena had sent them minutes ago. “Did you tell Ena? Because I can hardly imagine she’d be shrewd enough to realize.”
But what they got was a mere shake of the head from Meiko as she sternly crossed her arms. “All I’ve done in these years is watch over you. You didn’t want to be found, and perhaps you know that I’m not the type to tell them anything as it’s not in my right to, especially not to Ena,” she explained. “Though, from what I have observed, Ena’s known of your account for a while.”
That confirmed one of their suspicions. Mizuki let out another sigh. “Why would she look for me, then?”
“Maybe you should get that information out of Ena. She should still be awake, and if not, you can always try tomorrow morning. It is late, after all, and you probably need to go to sleep soon.”
Meiko ended her words with a firm nod. With a hum, having proved her point to Mizuki and assuming they didn’t need her for anything else, she disappeared without so much as a greeting of farewell from their laptop monitor.
Mizuki slumped back from their spot, unsure of how to proceed once more as their eyes began to scan every message Ena had sent through her selfie account. Oddly, they were confused on what exactly it is that they’re feeling inside. Mizuki couldn’t exactly pinpoint it to be anger, nor relief. Perhaps the tears had meant something, an unconscious reaction over the idea of actually being missed, but they knew it could not have been that simple.
However, they knew that a part of them felt rather empty inside. As if a hole had been specifically carved in their heart to prevent themself from being entirely fulfilled nor livid with the idea of being searched for and found.
For the umpteenth time, Mizuki released a deep breath. With the maelstrom of emotions brewing in their chest, and a listless look upon their eyes, their thumbs began to type a response.
Yuu @ Hakumei Couture - 1:25 am
「One chance only, Ena. Meet me in Sekai as soon as you can.」
The bright particles engulfed and nearly blinded Mizuki as they finally accessed Sekai after five long years.
After a timely message of agreement from Ena, who seemed to be ecstatic to garner an actual response from them, Mizuki transported themself to Sekai without a minute to waste. Of course, as it was late at night, Mizuki checked over themself as a subconscious habit, but with clothes that could only be described as drab and baggy, and a rather messy short hair that Ena nor the Virtual Singers would not recognize, Mizuki shoved the idea of trying to look presentable and left as soon as they got Ena’s reply.
They had forgotten the sensation of being suddenly pulled away from their world to what is essentially a different dimension, and they couldn’t exactly say it had been an unpleasant experience. Though, as if not a single second had passed, Mizuki immediately recognized the emptiness of Sekai.
The coldness of the floor. The stagnant air. The dull white and grey objects sticking out of the ground only making the area look darker than it is, contrasting the particles and bright light that enclosed them upon first entering.
As always, it felt so silent.
Though, to Mizuki’s surprise, they received no greeting. Perhaps Ena hadn’t arrived yet, and knowing her, she was most likely either calming her nerves or informing the other two members of Niigo. Either way, it gave Mizuki ample time to observe the pocket dimension in general as a way to appease their small curiosity on any potential changes over the last five years.
What they had expected to be the same blank Sekai all throughout, however, had instead been decorated with ribbons, mannequins of dresses, and curtains of varying shades, adding a rather creative pop of colour within certain areas of the place.
To say that it surprised Mizuki had been quite an understatement, as they hadn’t seen such a plethora of ribbons and dresses scattered all around in such a long time, and not even their cramped little studio filled with sewing projects could pose a competition. For a few moments, Mizuki looked in confusion over the strange decorations, wondering just how they got there as the accessories looked rather familiar.
It didn’t take long for Mizuki to realize that the bows tied on the steel beams had been theirs. Or rather, the old ribbons that they vaguely remembered getting rid of at some point.
Perhaps the right question to ask at that point had been why Sekai was decorated as such. They could hardly imagine any of the three Niigo members to have ownership over these bows, let alone have the urge to decorate no matter how creative their minds had to be.
As they looked down by their feet, a recognizable red butterfly ribbon laid so perfectly neat, that Mizuki could not help but pick it up from the ground. They studied its white trim, and the perfectly preserved finish of the embroidered edges. It had been a bow they’ve seen daily in the past, once even naming it as one of their favourites.
Yet in that moment, Mizuki felt…repulsed by it.
Mizuki still had no answers as to why Sekai contained so many of the things they used to love so much, and yet has now grown out of it forcefully. Having spent such a long time away from the idea of cute, and only treating it entirely in a profitable business aspect made them appalled by the thought of it.
But alongside the revolt, they also felt a sickening sense of mockery coming behind the embellishments.
As if the person that they once were had been ridiculed over and over again until they finally heed attention to it.
Mizuki felt sick to the stomach over the possible answers that they could have to their wonder, whether this phenomenon had been out of mockery or not. Surely it was the most plausible answer, but as they gazed upon the red ribbon for just a moment longer, they came across another conclusion that seemed even more absurd than the others.
Could it be…that they missed me?
It would be evidence of Ena’s sudden message to them, asking for them to come back alongside an apology.
But they still couldn’t shake the feeling that it had all been a sickeningly elaborate joke from the beginning, attempting to lure them back into Sekai after five years of no contact only to make fun of their being. The only thing they could do in response to such a jest was to throw the ribbon behind them with a scoff, without care as it was not their Sekai to begin with, and therefore, not their ribbon.
“Haha…. Maybe it’s just Miku and the others,” they mumbled to themself, as a last option that had just popped into their mind as soon as they let go of the accessory. “I must’ve left a lot more ribbons here than I remembered, that Miku and the others just began to use it for decoration.”
That had definitely been it. The Virtual Singers’ doing, being one of the only things they knew to do in such a barren place. Mizuki took a deep breath and let their worries go, and just on cue as they sensed a presence nearing them.
From a distance, they saw a familiar shade of brown, approaching far too quickly for Mizuki to fully brace themself. It had been the same person who called out to them, reached out a helping hand, only for her to take it back when they finally decided to take it. For the first time in five years, they were about to meet again.
For the first time in five years, Akiyama Mizuki has finally come face to face with Shinonome Ena.
But Mizuki felt nothing upon seeing her charging towards them. Not a single ounce of happiness, melancholy, nor anger.
They only felt so empty that they bit back a bitter laugh, having not expected such a lack of emotion in their void heart upon seeing an acquaintance that they were once so close with. One they probably even considered as a friend before.
“...M-Mizuki…! Mizuki!”
Ena’s hasty voice, somehow sounding the same as they remembered it, echoed throughout Sekai, but without giving Mizuki a chance to speak back, they felt the impact of Ena’s body launching itself towards them.
Locking them into a tight embrace, one which Mizuki could not—no, refused to—return. Ena only pressed her head on their shoulder, unable to stop herself from alternating between a pathetic attempt to call their name, as well as an even more pathetic attempt to apologize.
But Mizuki could only start to observe her with a critical eye, paying no mind to her words whatsoever.
Ena had much longer hair now, almost the same length as how they used to have it, while her stature seemed smaller than they remembered it. Or perhaps they’ve grown a significant amount, making their almost miniscule height difference that much greater that Mizuki now towered over despite being the younger of the two.
“M-Mizuki… I-I’m sorry for before…! I’ve…missed you…so, so much…!”
Pathetic pleas, spilling out of Ena’s mouth. The old Mizuki would have fallen for it, entering into an apologetic stance as well in an attempt to diffuse the situation and not mark Ena as the bad guy of the situation. However, Mizuki is different now, and weak excuses meant absolutely nothing to them.
But Ena kept going, unable to see the deadpan expression that the younger individual wore, all while she attempted to cling onto their sweater and getting it stained with her tears. “I-I didn’t mean to react the way I did, Mizuki. I-I’m really…sorry…. I shouldn’t have done that….”
Mizuki shut their eyes, waiting for a moment where they could speak. Ena cried for a while, possibly also to catch her breath, but as they noticed her sobs dying down into mere hiccups, they finally opened their mouth without even so much as budging in their spot, nor even moving a single inch to return the embrace that Ena threw them.
“So? I don’t have all night, Ena. I’m giving you time to explain, so you better use it now before I leave.”
Ena jolted, merely appearing shocked as she looked up and finally noticed the blank face that they wore, completely unfazed by her begging for forgiveness. Mizuki could have sworn they felt a small shudder from her body as she pulled away, the anguish previously on her face being replaced with a cold shock over the bone-chilling tone of their words. “M-Mizuki…?” She mumbled, withdrawing her arms from the pink-haired tailor.
But Mizuki’s expression did not change, only staring scornfully towards the young woman. “Get to it, Ena.”
The brown-haired woman jolted once more.
“I-I’m sorry, Mizuki…. I caused this, didn’t I…?”
Mizuki could only narrow their eyes, but said nothing else as Ena’s shaky voice continued to reverberate in the Empty Sekai.
“I-I know…. I reacted badly when you told us your secret all those years ago. I was…shocked, and I’ll admit that much. But I was also…slightly disgusted initially, which I regret to this day. I shouldn’t have thought that way about you even just for a split second, because you’re my friend, and I did promise you that I’d stay by your side until you found the courage to tell us your worries.” Ena hung her head low, only backing away from Mizuki further as she gripped the edges of her hastily worn cardigan, trembling.
“B-but…. I know this isn’t an excuse, but I really couldn’t bring myself to hate you, either. You were just…scared, weren’t you? A-and I know what kind of person you are, so I had no good reason to actually hate you despite feeling disgusted. I guess…it was my brain’s way of trying to get used to it,” The woman continued, daring to meet Mizuki’s apathetic gaze. Ena continued to bunch up the ends of her cardigan, as if the action was slowly giving her courage to keep going despite being frozen to the core. “During that week, before you left, I…I was trying to sort my feelings out over the situation, but you suddenly sent that message of you quitting Niigo….”
Mizuki remembered it so quickly; the dilemma they experienced over Ena’s initial reaction as well as radio silence on her end for the entire week. Their thoughts during that week spoke so loudly, ringing in their ears that they let it win.
But perhaps, Mizuki still wasn’t fully convinced, despite the genuinity of Ena’s explanation. From their memories of her, she was never the type to lie about something so serious, but to think that she had been disgusted with them, even just for a split second, they felt hurt.
Ena let out a pitiful chuckle. “You know…. Of all people to make me snap out of it and actually help me sort my emotions, it was Mafuyu who did so,” she admitted, a look of shame painting her face for a moment. “She said that even if you told us right from the beginning, it wouldn’t have changed how we worked in Niigo. Kanade agreed with her, too….”
She sighed, defeated.
“Of course, they were both right, even if they were thinking more about Niigo’s dynamic than our personal connections with one another. We would have just stayed the same, regardless of whether or not we know of your identity. I know that even now, we’ll still be the same, so please…come back….”
Once again, the tears brimmed Ena’s eyes, putting all of her shame out of reach. “Niigo’s been…so empty without you. It’s been so cold and lifeless, and everyone just wants things to be back to the same old times again. Please, Mizuki….”
“The same, huh…?”
Mizuki narrowed their eyes, thinking about the naivety that they all once had, as they, too, used to think the same before. To tell them their worries, and move on as if nothing had gone wrong. Things should have gone that way, had it not been for Ena’s initial disdain.
They took a step forward, finally approaching Ena yet their gaze never waned. A momentary look of hope spread onto her face, followed by a pang of fear as Mizuki didn’t stop at a decent distance.
Mizuki only kept going, forcing Ena to take a step back only to miss her footing.
As Ena fell, Mizuki dropped themself on top of her, catching themself with a hand slamming dangerously close to Ena’s face. Yet they quickly moved to pin Ena’s hands with their own, preventing her from moving.
Mizuki’s thumb could only trace the pulse on her wrist, beating irrationally fast.
“The same, huh?” They repeated, their voice only a mere low whisper for Ena to hear. “That’s a funny concept, isn’t it? Because what makes you think that I would still be the same after that?”
Ena struggled, eyes wide with terror. “M-Mizuki…?” She croaked out, yet only barely as Mizuki’s detached gaze pressured her to keep her mouth shut.
“Being thought of as disgusting, making me some sort of criminal in your mind even if it’s only for a little second. What makes you think that I would be okay with that, and that I could just move on from being stabbed by who I actually thought was someone that could be my friend just so we could stay up late making stupid little music videos again?”
Mizuki flashed a smile, sinister and cold.
“What makes you think I’m not capable of hurting you right now?”
They could have sworn in that moment that they’ve finally learned what true terror looked like on a person, on someone so steadfast like Ena. Being in the face of what she could only assume to be danger from someone she never would have expected such actions from, and someone she still considered a friend regardless of what had transpired in the past. Mizuki nearly choked out a cynical laugh, but they held back and only shook their head, moving themself away from Ena.
The woman momentarily remained on the ground, barely pulling herself up as she unconsciously hugged her body. Her tremors were clear to Mizuki, even as they took their distance once more, and her usually fearless eyes were only shaking in the midst of it all.
Ena looked pathetic, and Mizuki couldn’t care less about it.
“M-Mizuki… I-I’m…sorry…” She mumbled, in a feeble attempt to get Mizuki to change their mind once more.
Mizuki found no entertainment over this, and perhaps they had gone too far in trying to scare Ena in hopes of halting her pursuit for them. But hearing words that they once believed in had struck a rather negative chord within them, and the only method they could think of was to scare a usually impregnable Ena with their new, true self.
But if they kept this up, they were sure to witness an even more pathetic display of Ena begging, and frankly, they did not have the time to deal with it.
Mizuki knew that coming to Sekai was a mistake, and they wished they could run away once more.
“Ena,” they said sharply, gazing down at the miserable woman. “Give me one good reason as to why I should forgive you right now. Why I shouldn’t just leave and never interact with you or anyone ever again.”
It was clear that Ena hesitated, only managing to break her gaze from the other as she tried to rack her brain for a reason. For anything that would trigger the now bulletproof Mizuki to finally end this farce and concede.
Until it hit her.
“Th-that dress you posted earlier….” Ena began, and for a nanosecond, Mizuki’s look wavered. They didn’t like where Ena was heading, and they could easily predict it, too. “You always post the measurements but that one…. You posted it with my specific measurements back in high school. A-and the caption, too…. That was about me, wasn’t it?”
A dress based on an old acquaintance of mine.
Mizuki clicked their tongue.
They knew that the caption had been too specific that someone like Ena would have the intuition to know. They knew that for others, it would have been vague as their identity wasn’t known beyond being an anonymous designer, but for Ena who had already had an inkling on them before, it was a dead giveaway.
The tailor could only silently curse themself as Ena continued her counter.
“That made me realize…. You might not be the same annoying Mizuki as before, and you’ve changed into this cynical version of yourself because of my reactions,” Ena stammered, slowly rising from the ground as she once again found the confidence to stare Mizuki in the eyes once more. Yet the fear remained, and she could only take another step back out of reflex, for her own safety. “But you…still have Niigo in your mind, don’t you? Otherwise you wouldn’t even bother responding to me, either. You would’ve just left me on read.”
Another click of their tongue once again. Mizuki knew Ena had been right, and they hated it.
But rather, they hated themself for having such thoughts.
It would have been so much more convenient if Mizuki had just forgotten about Niigo, and yet, here they were.
Ena must have also realized that she managed to hit bullseye, as her fear was momentarily replaced with a look of triumph. Even more so, when Mizuki finally released a sigh and held out a hand for her to stop.
“That’s enough,” they mumbled. “If you want me back so badly, then fine. Not in Nightcord, but I’ll visit Sekai every now and then seeing as Mafuyu still hasn’t kicked me out of here.” Mizuki glanced over at Ena, however, and saw her jump. “It’s pathetic, don’t you think?”
While they had definitely gone too far, they thought it had been for the best that Ena feared them. It would have only been a matter of time before Ena gave up, after all.
They had no hope left in the rest of Niigo, either, knowing as they had their own plethora of problems to deal with, and probably wouldn't bother with an Akiyama Mizuki that they no longer knew. Right now, they were mere strangers, and Mizuki was alright with it.
They pulled out their phone, a thumb hovering over the pause button of the Untitled track. They saw no need to continue this farce any longer, and quite frankly, they simply needed to rest.
“Oh, and one more thing,” Mizuki muttered, catching Ena’s attention in an instant. “If you think that I’d go back to the Mizuki you once knew, don’t hope for it. Not to spoil your hope or anything, but it really is pointless. You should go relay that to the others, too.”
“W-Wait, Mizuki—”
“Bye, now.”
And without hesitation, Mizuki pressed the pause button.
As they got transported back to their room, they threw their phone onto the workbench without a care, and felt a weight upon their shoulders that they could not lift no matter how much they slumped on their chair in an attempt to relax.
“That’s cruel, Ena,” they mumbled to themself, repeating all the things Ena told them that evening. All the excuses, the apologies, and the intuition she had over them still thinking about Niigo.
It got on their nerves, especially when it was enough for Mizuki to once again think about their place, and how Ena once again wanted to be in their lonely little life.
They truly hated how shrewd she was.
But they loathed themself, tenfold, for conceding and choosing to stay.
“...I can’t do this anymore.”
Mizuki stood up, stumbling towards their unmade bed, and fell right onto it as the weight pushed them down even further. And as they shut their eyes, they could only feel themself being dragged into an abyss, into a deep slumber…
…all while the memory of Ena’s disgusted look from five years ago haunted them.