Work Text:
For The Children We'll Have
Penelope was even more nervous than when she stood before the entire ton and announced she was Lady Whistledown.
It was most peculiar that she should feel this way considering that the whole Whistledown mess was quite possibly the worst ordeal she’d gone through by far. Still, something was anxiety-inducing about the thought of telling her husband that she was carrying their child.
As Penelope sat in their drawing room for Colin to return from his time with his brothers, she tried to focus on reading the book in her hands.
After a while, she realised it was useless as her thoughts kept flickering back to when she realised that she was pregnant.
Her courses had not come that month, which she had initially attributed to the stress of her marriage and Whistledown, but when a sudden jolt of dizziness had overcome her as she took tea with her mother and sisters, it was a comment from Prudence about how dizzy pregnancy had made her that had her realise the truth.
It had been almost five weeks since she and Colin had made love in front of the mirror. It had been her first time, but it was not unheard of for conception to occur so quickly. It had been that way for Marina after all. The thought of her cousin sent a sudden fear down her spine.
The memory of Colin’s words of accusation, that she had entrapped him, returned to haunt her.
What if he thought this was deliberate?
Though they had more than made up since her sister’s ball and the Queen’s blessing, Penelope feared even now that some part of Colin still distrusted her, maybe even resented her.
She tried to reason with herself that Colin had not spoken a word of unkindness to her since and had become even more loving and supportive than she ever could have imagined, but Penelope’s anxiety would not quieten.
Then the door to the drawing room opened and her husband walked in with a large smile as his eyes fell on her.
“Pen! You would not…what’s wrong?” his smile faded upon seeing Penelope’s distress. Of course, he had seen it, she could not hide anything from him any longer, not even her emotions. She was like an open book.
“Colin, something has happened”, Penelope's lips trembled.
He immediately knelt before her, grasping her hands with his. Her book fell to the floor, long since abandoned. “What is it? Is this about Whistledown? Has someone said something to you…is- “,
“It is not Whistledown”, she interrupted him with watery eyes. “I’m with child, Colin”.
Colin’s eyes widened. “I did not do this on purpose!” she gasped. “I would never try to entrap you, Colin, I know how this must look but- “
Her husband silenced her with a kiss, his lips softly pressing against hers.
“This is wonderful news, Pen. I’m to be a father”, joy overtook his expression before it was removed by a frown. “Why would you believe I’d think you would trap me?”
“Because of the timing”, she confessed shakily. “It must have happened the first time and you did not know about Whistledown, and you said I had schemed to entrap you after you found out but- “
“Lord, I am such an idiot”, Colin groaned, slapping a hand over his face. “I ought to have apologised for those words immediately but at the time I was too caught up in my initial feelings to think it through. And then I forgot I had even said it entirely, truth be told”.
He gave Penelope a pained look. “And now you fear telling me this because I behaved contemptibly towards you”.
“You did not behave contemptibly, Colin”, Penelope assured him. “I deserved your anger and so much more”.
“I was being a prideful wanker for the most part”, Colin cringed. “I was hurt, yes, but I felt more embarrassed for not figuring things out earlier and more than a little jealous about your success as a writer. I said a stupid, hurtful thing that didn’t even make sense in hindsight when I remembered that it was me who chased you down, who ruined your prospects and practically demanded we marry”.
Using a finger, he gently wiped away a stray tear as it fell down Penelope’s cheek.
“Penelope, you are the greatest thing to ever happen to me. If I had to go back and do things all over again with all the knowledge I have attained since I would choose to marry you all over again. There is no lifetime in which I would not choose to be your husband. I love you for my past and I love you for my future, you’re everything to me”, Colin pressed their heads together, tenderly stroking her cheek.
“I am in awe that you are my wife, and you are carrying our child”, he said softly, kissing her sweetly. “I never, for one moment, want you to think for a second that I am not the happiest of men right now, for you shall be hard-pressed to find one more ecstatic than I”.
Suddenly Colin stood and pulled Penelope up with him. “Colin?”
“I feel a sudden pressing need to remind you how much I love you. And worship the body that is giving life to my son or daughter right now”, Colin beamed, bending down and picking her up.
She yelped and giggled at the action. “Colin, I can walk!”
“Not while you have a perfectly good husband”, he smirked, his dark blue eyes reflecting his love and adoration.
All of Penelope’s worries flew out of the window, as did every remaining thought, as her husband took her to their bed chamber and did indeed, worship every inch of her.