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Lumine takes one glance at his eyes and that's all she needs.
Slowly, she steps closer to him, whilst paying attention to his reaction. A single twitch of his finger and she halts immediately, waiting to see if he's going to do something.
Childe lifts his head and for the first time of the day, he stares back at her. Acknowledges her presence.
That's good.
They stand in silence for a while, quietly observing each other. This silence is not unfamiliar yet Lumine can't help but dislike it—there’s no way for her to know what comes next. No amount of details she notes about Childe can help her predict what he is going to do after the silence. There's a possibility of both negative and positive outcomes. He might grin at her and push back any sign of the anguish that momentarily courses through him. He might retreat further back into himself, unable to utter a word or react properly to anything for multiple hours, perhaps even days.
Regardless of the outcome, she knows she'll stay by his side until he can lay his burdens to rest.
Eventually, he speaks.
“Lumine.”
A promise for a promise. A name for a name. A secret for a secret.
“Ajax,” she responds to his call, acknowledging his unspoken request.
They meet in many ways during their journey. As enemies, clashing with each other in battle. An ethereal dance of bloodshed and excitement. As friends, joyfully catching up over a warm meal. Warm evenings filled with laughter. As lovers, painting constellations onto each other's skin during the tranquillity of the night. Desperate touches tinted with possessiveness.
And once in a while, when the world's weight becomes too heavy to bear for either of them, they meet as companions.
Unattached to the restrictions of a lover, in a similar shade as a friend, and yet with the freedom of an enemy—the details become blurred. As companions nothing else matters to them but the comfort of each other's presence.
With her previous hesitation gone, she gently cradles his face, watching as he slightly—almost hesitantly—leans into her touch. Her heart aches for him. He’s usually so affectionate, grabbing onto her wrist or plastering kisses all across her face.
But then again, usually he’d greet her with a warm grin and an arm around her shoulders.
That day, however, is not an usual one.
Not when looks like he’s barely alive, covered in the red he cherishes so—he makes for a pitiful sight. Devoid of what makes him himself, he seems like a puppet with its strings cut. That too, is part of his job, though. So, really, there is no need to shed tears over his pain nor succumb to the feeling of pity. Lumine knows better. The harbinger will pick himself up again, as he always has done and always will.
That said, one day of pushing his responsibilities to the back should be allowed. Carefully, she moves to grab his wrist, her thumb tracing over his skin.
“Come on,” she mutters, tugging slightly, “follow me.”
He does not question where she takes him, and that alone speaks for itself. She leads him towards the inn, where she booked a room for the next few days. Rarely does she choose the comfort of a room over the practicality of camping out, but recent events lead her to accept the notion of taking a rest. Returning to Liyue from Fontaine, was a hastily made choice. A need for a break from the horrors she has experienced there.
As well as a request from a certain consultant.
‘Childe seems to be restless nowadays,’ the words on the letter she received stated, ‘I think your presence would be most welcome.’
Translating Zhongli’s words came with ease from years of knowing him.
Childe is going to crash sooner than later and someone needs to pick him back up.
So, she traveled back to Liyue, booked a room at an inn, and then went out to search for Childe. Finding him was not difficult—proof of his presence was littered all over Minlin, in the form of corpses and bloodshed. Treasure hoarders, who had the misfortune to cross his path. Inevitably, at the end of the path she found him, unusually dull and exhausted.
Unable to cry and yet in pain all the same.
Arriving at the inn, she immediately dragged him to her room. Fortunately, it was already dusk, meaning there weren’t many customers around to cast judgemental gazes at her companion painted in blood. Most were out and about or already in their rooms. Once they arrive at her room, she gently pushes him to sit down on the single chair in the room.
“I’m going to fill the bathtub with water,” she tells him, watching as he slowly blinks at her, “You clearly need a bath.”
She moves to do as she told him, making sure to keep the door to the bathroom open for him. Gradually, warm water fills the bathtub. Satisfied, she nods to herself before calling out for her lover.
“Ajax, come here.”
It takes a few seconds but then she hears the sound of shuffling and the screeching of the chair, followed by his footsteps.
She smiles slightly upon seeing him. He seems a bit more aware of his surroundings than when she found him. Reaching out slowly, she takes his mask off and puts it down onto the countertop of the sink. Then she takes his scarf off. Seemingly getting the memo, he starts taking off his clothes one by one. She picks up the discarded clothes and drops them in a corner of her room, as he gets into the tub. They are adjourned with blood and holes—in clear need of being cleaned and mended. She’ll have to work on that later.
Feeling his gaze on her back, she turns around and walks towards the door of the bathroom.
“I’ll go borrow spare clothes for you from the staff,” she informs him. “And get us something to eat.”
He tenses upon hearing her words and Lumine waits with bated breath, wondering if he’s going to protest. He doesn’t. After some time, he relaxes and nods his head.
“I’ll be right back,” she assures him, before turning to leave the room. She halts for a moment. “How about you clean the blood off in the meantime?”
Seeing him move to grab the washcloth near him, she finally leaves.
He’ll be fine. She’s sure of that now.
Lumine returns with food and clothes. Putting everything aside, she makes her way into the bathroom, where she finds her lover outside the bathtub, a towel wrapped around his waist and his skin free from the red he wore before. She can see the few scratches and gashes he gathered like that. She’ll treat and dress those after the bath.
“I’m back,” she mutters.
It’s an unneeded greeting though. Since the moment she stepped into the bathroom, his eyes have been on her. She beckons him to follow her out of the bathroom, immediately walking over to her belongings and fishing out her first-aid kit. “Sit down at the bed, I’ll be treating your wounds now.”
This, of course, isn’t the first time where she does so. They have their fair share of encounters on battlefields. Sometimes, they fight alongside each other. Other times, they arrive after the conclusion of a battle, leaving nothing behind but marred skin and satisfaction.
And then there are times, where they fight against each other. Spars turned into heated battles, their own way of expressing the thrill of each other’s presence in their lives. The wounds left behind after those ‘spars’ are nothing but a sign of adoration. However, those too, must be treated properly. After finishing bandaging the gashes, she hands him the spare clothes and moves to prepare the food.
They eat in silence. Lumine isn’t much of a talker by nature and around her lover she doesn’t have to be—he’s able to read her just well. Eating in silence isn’t the norm for them, though.
More often than not, they have company. Paimon, who chatters about anything that she has learned. Zhongli, sometimes accompanied by Hu Tao, who retells tales of times that have long passed. When it’s only the two of them, Ajax tends to talk for both of them. He tells her about his homeland, covered in a white blanket with a sky full of glittering stars. About his siblings, who eagerly await his return. About his battles, which shape him to become stronger.
But once again, that day is not an usual one.
After their meal, she puts the leftovers aside. The harbinger hasn’t eaten much and although it bothers her a bit, she knows better than to force him. He’ll eat later, once he recovers and his mind is stronger.
It’s when she readies herself for bed, that she hears him speak for the first time on that day.
“I’m sorry.” The words are almost inaudible but she hears him.
Lumine turns to face him. He’s staring at the ground, his expression still so incredibly dull… but there’s something else in there now.
He’s slowly snapping out of it, she realizes. A smile filled with relief forms on her face.
“Ajax, there’s no need to apologize,” she tells him as she moves towards the bed. “Let’s lie down now, alright?”
Once they both settle down under the covers, she switches the lamp on the bedside table off, and properly lies down, turning to face her lover. Of course, he is still wide awake. Lumine’s aware that he won’t fall asleep for a while, as he slowly but surely comes back to his senses. Reaching up, she combs his hair with her fingers, relishing in how soft it feels.
“I…”
After seconds of silence pass, Lumine mutters, “You don’t have to speak.”
As expected, he doesn’t respond.
Her hand trails down until it rests on his cheek, her thumb gently rubbing the skin under his eye.
Days where Childe’s duties cause him a mental breakdown may not be the norm, but they aren’t that rare either. She’s spent quite a few times taking care of him in silence, waiting for him to come back alive . She found him slaughtering everything in his path before, found him unresponsive and fatigued, found him beyond excited and irrational—she’s seen many of his facets, from the positive to the negative, from the understandable to the incomprehensible, from the warm to the cold.
And she has aided him through every single one, held him each time, so he could remember that she was waiting for him.
Lumine is a patient person.
She leans closer and pecks his nose, arms moving to draw him into an embrace.
She will wait for him to come back to reality, however long it takes. So, when he comes back, he’ll know he isn’t alone, that his grief and pain aren’t wrong or unwanted. So, even if Ajax cannot cry, he still won’t abandon his sadness. That he will let himself feel the anguish. That he’ll acknowledge when he is in pain.
And clearly, it’s working somewhat, because he went back to Liyue.
Because he let himself leave Fontaine.
She buries her face in his neck and sighs.
Fontaine was a lot of things, but it certainly wasn’t kind to Tartaglia. From his vision giving out to his arrest to the countless time spent fighting the narwhal. A part of him might have been full of excitement to fight that thing, but it was still a lot on him. Left him with wounds and an exhaustion that wouldn’t decrease, no matter how much he rested there.
Fontaine, itself, has become a place of uneasiness for him. She can hardly blame him for that. Although the region is beyond pretty and filled with kind people, Lumine probably will never be able to forget the incomprehensible suffering of the pretend-god, when she sees the people of the nation on and about with their daily lives.
Lumine will also never forget the uneasiness and fear that slowly crept upon her, when she found out that Childe disappeared.
Gone without a trace. Just like her brother.
Those countless days with no knowledge of his whereabouts left her more stressed than usually.
Unconsciously, she tightens her hug.
She doesn’t want to think about what she would have done if he never reappeared.
Arms wrap around her.
Conscious movement , Lumine exhales. It won’t be long before he’s fully back to himself.
“You did well,” she whispers into his skin. “You are doing well.”
She can feel his fingers digging into her skin.
There is no need for further words but this is Ajax .
“I’m glad you’re here,” she tells him, relishing the way he holds her.
He’s here, he’s here, he’s here, here, here—
“Don’t lea…,” she trails off, instead kissing his neck.
Instead she says, “Don’t worry, I won’t leave you.”
The arms around her tighten and she sighs out in relief. Ajax is still here.
“I know.”
She blinks, tears forming in the corner of her eyes upon hearing his voice. Relief settles inside her, a feeling of comfort and warmth.
Ah.
“I’ll always look after you,” she tells him, sincerely laced in her tone, “so, take your time getting better.”
The response she gets is a gentle kiss on top of her head.
And that is more than enough for Lumine.