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It was a lovely morning, with the early sun making the dewdrops shine like jewels, bees and flowers going about their business, and a cup of delicious tea for refreshment. Beautiful.
Of course, nothing was as beautiful as Yu Shisan, at least in his mind. As always, he had taken great care with his appearance, dressed in blinding white flowing robes - he had never shared the secret of how he never got even the smallest stain on them -, and a hairpiece with a dangling glass bead that shone just like the dewdrops. You never knew when an enchanting young lady might drop by; unlikely as it was, he was prepared, just in case.
Lazily, he fanned himself a little breeze and watched the others being occupied with work. He watched the clouds drift by, listened to the songs of the birds, and poured himself more tea. From the corners of his eye, he saw Yuan Lu happily hopping towards the house to deliver the letter he had fetched from the carrier pigeon, which was now enjoying its well-earned rest while waiting for the reply.
The boy immediately hopped out again and devoted himself to feeding the bird. It was quiet and peaceful, only the muffled sounds of everyone's activities reached Yu Shisan's ears, and he was contemplating a little nap when a terrible shriek, somehow resembling his name, made him jump and knock over the cup. It fell victim to his mishap and broke into several pieces. Everyone dropped whatever they were holding and looked at him interrogatively.
Unsuspectingly, Yu Shisan raised his hands as a sign that he wasn't guilty of any wrongdoing - or rather, that he couldn't remember.
"Shisan!" Ning Yuanzhou shouted again from inside the house, with no less emphasis.
But if Yu Shisan hasn’t done anything wrong, then it must be an emergency.
Oh!
Hectically, he gathered his robes and his courage and stormed into the house, his heels squeaking when he came to stand in front of the desk where Ning Yuanzhou was sitting, no, crouching, ruffling up his hair in distress.
“What happened?” fussed Yu Shisan, and Ning Yuanzhou cut him off by harshly commanding him to close the door. And the window shutters.
Knowing that his friend wouldn’t be so touchy if it wasn’t something personal, he went to do so and rushed back when he noticed the letter. This innocuous looking thing must be the source of the trouble. Oh, dear. Well knowing that Ning Yuanzhou wasn’t one to show any weakness to anyone, except to Yu Shisan and only if it couldn’t be avoided, especially physical weakness – something must be very fishy about this letter. Poison? Some nasty hidden weapon? What could it be?
“Are you hurt?!” Before Ning Yuanzhou could answer, Yu Shisan was tucking at his robes, checking his throat and neck and hands and also inspecting what he could see of his chest without undressing him completely, and he did that as quickly as he could manage so they wouldn’t lose more time if it was something serious.
Ning Yuanzhou tried fighting him off like a pesky insect, which was not fair and caused them to get entangled with each other and fall on the floor, and they had quite some trouble to free themselves.
“What are you doing?!”
“I thought there was something wrong with the letter, so I was worried.” Yu Shisan sat up and brushed the dust from his sleeve, on the brink of feeling insulted. “But if my concern isn’t appreciated …”
“There is something wrong with the letter, but that’s no reason to grope me like that!” Ning Yuanzhou ignored the mumbled “Yesterday you liked it”, crawled to the desk, took the paper and handed it over to Yu Shisan, not without a dead-serious warning. “If you laugh, I’m going to kill you. I mean it.”
Now, Yu Shisan was curious. He made himself comfortable on the floor and started reading. At the third sentence, the corners of his mouth twitched, at the fourth, he pressed his lips together and finally, at the end, he covered his mouth with his hand not to burst into laughter, aware that he was watched closely and with murderous intent.
He was coughing and trying to breathe while he was choking on his withheld laughter, and it took him a few moments to recover enough to be able to talk again. Wiping his tears, he cleared his throat.
“So, hm,” he coughed again, “they want you to go undercover as a, hm, as an … escort? Hm. Did you piss someone off? More than usual, I mean?”
“I have no idea,” wailed Ning Yuanzhou, his nerves were clearly frazzled. “Why didn’t they choose you? You’re handsome, you’re charming, you have a way with women …”
“I know!” Yu Shisan beamed. “I would be perfect, actually, if I didn’t have this one little flaw: I just can’t lie to any woman. I’m so sorry.”
His friend looked like he wanted to cry. “You have to help me,” he said toneless.
“Huh? How can I help you?”
Ning Yuanzhou sighed loudly. "How can I do that? I mean, worm my way into their lives? And do you think I have to... you know what I mean."
"Sleep with them?" Grinning, Yu Shisan shifted to face him directly. "Probably. But it won't happen with that attitude. I mean, what is that look? Any normal person would have a heart attack! No, you have to be mellow."
"Mellow?!"
"Hm." Taking the letter back and studying it thoroughly, Yu Shisan pointed at a sentence. "We should start with this persona, Mr. Gu. It says 'assigned to lonely rich women'. Hmmmm. I have an idea."
“Mellow,” repeated Ning Yuanzhou aghast.
Yu Shisan took a meditative stance and closed his eyes. "I'm trying to get to know Mr. Gu. Let's see. 'Lonely rich women'... He must be sweet and attentive, likes to give a lady whatever flatters her, and is generally quite docile. He loves to listen to her and reinforce her opinions, withholding his own thoughts when in doubt. Mr. Gu knows his place and would never try to be domineering."
He opened his eyes and they stared at each other for almost half a minute, trying to get over the fact that this sounded 100% not like Ning Yuanzhou. There was a lot of work to be done, and it was more likely that Qian Zhao would talk for a minute straight than that Ning Yuanzhou would remotely resemble Mr. Gu.
"I can't do that," Ning Yuanzhou finally said, defeated by the thought of the ideal Mr. Gu, floating around the room like a ghost, a quite docile, very mellow menace.
“Hey, hey, we’re not giving up yet. We need a starting point. Let me think …” Yu Shisan went back to meditation, softly swaying back and forth, muttering incoherently and remembering the birds singing and the bees and flowers from earlier, and suddenly, he had an epiphany. “Ha! Now I know! You are still a little shy when it comes to, well, physical intimacy, right? And this adorable weakness is going to become Mr. Gu’s greatest strength! No woman will be able to resist him!”
“Sorry, what?” Ning Yuanzhou was not only doubting, he didn’t like the idea in the slightest. “You want me to become a blushing maiden?”
“Exactly!” Smiling widely, Yu Shisan poked him in excitement. “First thing you have to do is to learn to look inoffensive. That is the hardest part, because of your height alone, and I’m not even talking about that look that is still on your face. But imagine you become a flustered, bashful mess of a man whenever she’s getting close to you? Every woman would melt in a second.”
“I’m not really convinced.”
With a smooth move, Yu Shisan leaned in, their faces only so much apart that their noses didn’t touch; he tilted his head and amusedly noticed that his friend looked exactly like he had predicted, drawing back slightly, fluttering his lashes, his mouth opening involuntarily. Adorable indeed.
“Oh, it will work, I just know it. I mean, it even works with me, a bit.”
Staying like this, it was a tie, and it was up to Ning Yuanzhou to decide. He decided that he still didn’t like it.
"No," he said, trying to get out of the situation, but Yu Shisan was faster and grabbed him, and again they were in some kind of struggle, and again they ended up writhing on the ground, but this time - being hell-bent on this mission gave him some extra strength -, Yu Shisan gained the upper hand and pinned Ning Yuanzhou down by his wrists, using his legs to keep him in check.
“Ning Yuanzhou,” he said breathlessly, struggling to hold his position, “’normal spy you’ wouldn’t even be able to set a foot in anyone’s house. You must internalize the 'blushing maiden spy', this is your best, your only chance. You wanted my help, now let me give you my help! Will you keep still and listen to me!”
Huh? What was happening? Astonished, Yu Shisan realised that Ning Yuanzhou wasn’t fighting back anymore, and not only that, he looked at him with a familiar expression, one that he had seen just last night, over there in the bed. Could it be?
“You like this,” he said in amazement.
“Who likes what,” hissed Ning Yuanzhou and made a move to shove him off, but Yu Shisan pushed him down harder and pressed his legs firmer to his hips, and he found that there wasn’t any real resistance; instead, Ning Yuanzhou bit his lip, his gaze lost a bit of focus, and he was now blushing for real. His cheeks weren’t the only spot where his blood had flown to though.
Interesting. Lowering himself cautiously, Yu Shisan’s lips explored his friend’s hot face, his neck, and then, when he moved his hip, Ning Yuanzhou winced, and he moaned when Yu Shisan bit his ear, just a bit firmer than he would do normally.
“Too bad.” Letting go of him and sitting up, leaving Ning Yuanzhou utterly confused – and frustrated, Yu Shisan shook his head in a half real, half pretended disappointment. “I mean, I’m in for that, and I’m convinced that it will help to create Mr. Gu, but somehow, I’m under the impression that you might like these things a little tougher? Ah, what a pity that I’m so soft and placid!”
“Like what thougher?!? You-“ Ning Yuanzhou was outraged and obviously in denial.
Yu Shisan enjoyed himself greatly. “You could ask Qian Zhao for that, I guess,” he suggested and smiled sweetly while fixing his clothes. He got up just before he could get hit by Ning Yuanzhou’s now free hand.
Speaking of Qian Zhao. They heard him and Yuan Lu talking outside, he was probably trying to keep the kid from coming in – the screaming and shutting the windows had likely scared him.
In high spirits, Yu Shisan proposed that they could continue the ‘training’ in the evening. “You already made such good progress just now, I’m absolutely sure that it will work out. I mean, you and Mr. Gu. And then Mr. Gu and the lonely ladies.”
It was better to leave now, judging from the deadly stare Ning Yuanzhou was sending his way. But it was rather cute, dishevelled and embarrassed like he was, picking himself up from the ground, it didn’t have the same impact as normally. And apart from that, he hadn’t cooled down yet.
“You need some time alone, I gather?” Winking and indicating a bow, Yu Shisan quickly slipped out of the door before the ink stone would hit him, and shut it while shooing the kid and Qian Zhao away.
“He needs to get work done, leave him be,” he said cheerfully and went to return to his table to finish his tea, and maybe he’d treat himself with that nap. He needed to be rested for later – he wouldn’t mind at all if the ‘training’ lasted a while. Ning Yuanzhou was just so easy and so fun to tease. And while he was dozing off, Mr. Gu’s final form came about before his mind’s eye.