Chapter Text
Moo sat on the couch of his apartment, deflated, his usual cheery disposition nowhere to be found. Resting on Moo’s palm as he fought back tears was the tiny baby photo of Kang given to him when they were still together. Will he keep the one I gave him? Moo wondered as the tears came flooding back. He collapsed onto the couch, grabbing the nearest pillow to bury his face in as he gasped for air between his wails.
Knock knock knock
The sound interrupted Nont Tanont’s First Love, which had been on repeat from Moo’s phone all morning, igniting within him with a flicker of hope.
“P- P’Kang?!” he exclaimed through his sobs.
“Moo, are you alright?” a familiar voice called from the door.
“Potae…” Moo sighed. Flicker extinguished.
“Hey, open the door, I’m here to check on you.” his friend’s voice called from outside.
“I’m… I’m fine,” Moo barely managed to say.
“Moo, please… let me in?” Potae replied.
Moo sighed, wiping his tears on his sleeve in a fruitless attempt to look presentable for his surprise guest. The table mirror next to his couch made it clear that nothing was going to conceal his puffy eyes. He sighed before getting up and dragging his feet to the door to open it. He avoided eye contact with his friend as the latter entered the room until Potae grabbed his shoulder.
“Moo, what’s wrong? You missed training earli—” He began to say before getting interrupted by Moo’s sniffling as Moo gave up on holding back his tears, collapsing into Potae’s arms.
“P’Kaaaang!” He wailed, clinging onto Potae as if his life depended on it. Potae hugged him back, rubbing his back.
“Okay, let it out, Moo, just let it out.”
Some time later, Moo was now lying on the couch, motionless, as if to let the couch consume him and let him feel whatever was left of Kang’s touch from the nights they spent together falling asleep in this exact spot. Potae sat on the edge of the couch by Moo’s feet, accompanying his friend in the silence that was only interrupted by Moo’s sporadic sniffles and sobs.
“You wanna talk about it?” Potae asked.
“Well, I… I…” Moo tried to reply before his voice cracked into a cry. He took a deep breath before continuing.
“I’m sorry…” was all he could manage.
“Take your time,” Potae replied.
“Okay, here’s what happened…” Moosaid, sitting up as he began to recall the worst day of his life, from the way he had hoped Kang would be his refuge after his stress from that accursed contract, the choice Kang made for him between his dreams and love, the way he desperately held on to Kang’s hand only for the love of his life to let go and walk away, and worst of all: the way it hurt a million times more to know Kang left him because he loved him.
“Look at us,” Potae sighed, putting his arm around Moo’s shoulder. “We should be thrilled! We’re closer than ever to our idol dreams. Yet here we are…” Moo leaned his head on his friend as Potae continued to talk. “I have to see Payos everyday knowing we had a chance at something more, but I blew it, while you just lost the boy you loved just as much as your dream because he didn’t want to get in the way of it…”
“Some life, huh,” Moo replied dryly.
“When I imagined us at the top… performing for huge crowds…” Moo paused, blinking away tears and taking a deep breath. “I always thought I’d search for him in that sea of people. We’d lock eyes and no one would know but us. I’d be singing a love song as the crowd chants along, not knowing the person who fueled the feelings behind my lyrics was standing right there.”
“You mentioned that he said something about wanting you to keep singing, right? Have those concerts for all your fans?”
“Yeah…”
“Will you be able to do it? Like this? Without him?”
“You know, I wondered the same thing last night. After all, if I left this life behind, what would be stopping him from being with me, right?”
“Moo…” Potae replied, pulling his friend in closer.
“But… thing is, I doubt he’d take me back if I did that. I’d never be satisfied with myself if I didn’t do this. I’m not myself without my love for music and he knows that.”
“So I guess it’s… time to start moving on, huh?” Potae asked gloomily.
“Not a chance! I’ll shine on that stage for him.” Moo said confidently. “And one day, I’ll find my way back to him. That contract can’t stop me. I love him and he loves me.” Moo pulled Kang’s baby photo out of his pocket, looking at it as he spoke.
“Great to have your confident self back, my friend,” Potae said, patting Moo on the back.
“And of course, you’ll be shining on that stage with me.” Moo replied with his first smile since the break up.
“You can count on it.”