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The Taste of His Medicine

Summary:

The prankster got pranked, and he did not expect it.
Prompt from the “What's a matter baby?” meme

Notes:

When I saw that meme, I immediately thought of these 2 dorks, so enjoy my brainrot about them <3 Apologies for any kind of errors you will encounter, I’m still learning English.

(Thank you for the warm support on my debut fic! I’m always getting the feels whenever I receive a notification of your kudos~ But I feel like I didn’t elaborate enough about me because all I’m thinking about is “I gotta publish this.” and nothing more haha! You can read it here if you’re interested. (It’s about the black & white haired menaces) )

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

“Come on, be quick before he leaves!” Gojo motions his hands, ushering Geto to be faster in setting up his smartphone. They are currently right outside the door to their faculty room at lunchtime. 

“Wait up a bit. You’re making me panic.” Suguru answered, failing to enter his 6-digit PIN due to the other’s rushed commands. He succeeded after 2 attempts and immediately tapped the camera application, “Okay, let’s go.”

“Remember, do not let him see that you’re recording or else–” Satoru lines his hand to his neck to show a cutting motion “We’ll be dead meat!” he whispered.

“I know that, Satoru.” Geto sighed, now questioning his life decisions on how he ended up agreeing to his best friend’s request. Aside from their gained popularity to their students, the two of them also have a different title especially among faculty members: the troublemakers. The duo are known for picking pranks on their co-teachers. Sometimes even in other departments such as their registrar officer Ijichi, who is always their target of playful antics. Not even their principal Yaga escaped from the two children dressed as adults, although it ended up in solitary confinement. A memory suddenly invades Getos’ mind, "It’s unfair!” Gojo’s voice echoed to the walls of Yaga’s office, “He’s treating us like children!” He added, pouting his lips as they’re currently facing the wall for a 30-minute timeout punishment. He just shook his head to dismiss the thought.  

Most of the time, Suguru doesn’t mind pulling up pranks. He doesn’t want to admit it but he knows– and the other knows that he’s having as much fun as Satoru. But, today is a different story. There are people who can be pranked with, and there are others who all people should instinctively think to not bother at all. Yet, the sore menace Satoru is, decided to prank their close friend (and the blue-haired man crush for years) Nanami Kento. Geto himself is worried about this stunt, but his trust over Satoru was slightly higher than his doubts thus joining him. Even he can’t pass up an opportunity to see different reactions plastered on Nanami’s face other than his usual stoic face.

"Let's go!" Holding the phone close to Geto's jacket, he followed Gojo’s movements as the man made an entrance by opening the door widely. His snow eyelashes flutter and neck craning in search of a certain someone. When he is successful in locating the blonde man, he speaks “Hello, Nanami~”

The said man, who is working on his table across the room, sighed the moment he heard his name called out by the taller man. “Hello.” Nanami answered timidly, only sparing a second of his attention looking at the blue eyes before going back to his work at hand. Satoru smiled nonetheless, striding proudly to go to him, pulling up a vacant chair next to their prank victim and sitting closely next to him. Geto picks it up as a silent signal for him to follow his best friend, leaning on a vacant table to get better footage.

The office at this hour does not have many people inside, mostly due to the majority of teachers opting to eat their lunches outside or at the cafeteria. Aside from Nanami, the two other teachers that the duo caught up with are Shoko and Utahime. Ghetto decided to greet them both on behalf of his friend because Satoru is busy plotting his prank on Nanami before joining him. As expected, their reactions to seeing them are at the two ends of the spectrum. The short-haired woman responded to his greeting with a knowing glint to his eyes by a nod, while Utahime emitted a distressed tsk to him before continuing munching her meal. Their chosen time is ideal, both for having enough people to witness their mischievous act and not too many for Nanami to be utterly embarrassed. Satoru was proud when he discussed their setting when they talked about this earlier in the bathroom.

"Can I ask you something?" Gojo asks as he attempts to strike a conversation with the serious man. 

"No." Nanami abruptly responds, flipping the paper to the next page. "Can't you see that I'm doing something?" He added, not giving Satoru any ounce of attention. His eyes don't want to peel away from the task in his hands. Gojo only pouted, but he didn't give up on the man just yet.

"But, Nanami~" forcibly swivels the said man's chair to face his direction, Gojo then cages his kouhai with his arms on the hand rest. "A student asked me about this and I know you're the only one who can answer it." Gojo pushed the blond-haired man, even snatching the paperworks to gain his full attention. “Please~?”

Having no other choices at hand, and knowing that the older one tends to be sulky and clingy when he doesn't get what he wants, Nanami locks eye contact to the white-haired menace and sighs, “Fine.” Accepting his current situation to address Satoru’s concern instead of something else that actually matters to him– at least on giving him money , is a headache. He fixes his glasses before he speaks, “What is it?”

Frankly speaking, what does Gojo not know? Kento is now spiraling his thoughts that his genius (he doesn’t want to verbally say it to the other knowing his prideful ass), academic achiever senior and a national representative during their school days is now seeking help from him. He hopes it’s not too bad or serious, or even something that he can provide answers or advice within in the first place. Is this about the students they’re handling? Personal matters? All kinds of questions are now fogging Nanami’s mind, all well-hidden by his poker face. He’s still wary of the duo’s antics. But– just like Geto , his trust over Gojo is still a bit higher than that kind of thought.

Eyes unblinking and face devoid of playfulness, Satoru takes his shot to ask a question "Would you rather eat a pound of bricks or a matter baby?"

"Are you serious?"

“Just answer the question, will you?” Gojo demanded, thumping on his feet in an attempt to exaggerate his disappointment. “I swallowed my pride to ask that to you out of all people. So, can you answer the question?" Satoru then beamed his signature puppy eyes to the other "Please?" Seeing that it's not that effective, he added a final blow: to call his name sickeningly sweet "Nanamin~?" 

The target closes his eyes and exhales through his nose. "Definitely not the bricks."

Nanami puts his hand to his chin and thinks. It is such a ridiculous thought to eat an inedible thing– and why bricks of all of those things? His eyebrows are knitted in the type of question he's receiving. Is this some kind of modern joke? A slang? A new gaming term that he doesn't know about? Well, he doesn't know anything from the start so…  

While the man is in deep thoughts, Satoru focuses on his goal to hide their motive by making himself as convincing as possible. He continues to bash his eyelashes and blinks slowly, knowing that it's a pretty sight. Gojo is now oddly patient in waiting for that specific thing that he was looking for.

Kento, now realizing that he's getting stuck on the first half of the question, diverts his attention to the other part. As he always advises his students during examinations: it's better to run down on every question first instead of wasting time to be stuck on finding the answer on number 1. Again, he was faced with the same predicament of not knowing the context of those words. The words were understandable when they're independent, but it doesn't mix well with Nanami's trail of thought when they’re combined. He badly needs some additional context so he mindlessly asks a question to Satoru. Spoiler: it did not go well.

“What’s a ‘matter baby’?”

A stifled laugh was heard inside the office, and both Gojo and Geto could not keep their faces straight. The black and white mops whipped around to avoid staring at the poor man. Satoru, still in disbelief that it would take little to no effort for the pun to be in effect, responded to Nanami with labored breaths.

"Nothing sweetie,” Gojo emits a wheeze before he can continue speaking, “What’s the matter with you?” He attempted to cover his mouth for his laugh not to escape but to no avail. He’s just a human after all, and cannot hold on for very long.

Satoru’s laugh echoed to the four walls of enclosed space, his laughter started a chain reaction as the others in the room also followed suit. 

What in the actual hell is this? Geto thought while laughing his ass off Did Nanami just obviously fell for Satoru’s tricks? THE same Nanami that we know of? Suguru is unsure whether his best friend is just next level in terms of silliness or it's within the hidden persona beyond the thick walls of Kento that made him fooled. Regardless of the reason, he's still savoring this precious time of seeing the flustered blonde in front of him. This is definitely worth the risk! The camera can only catch the sounds of their laughter because the video is getting blurry with all those wheezing motions. 

"Oh, no." The instigator of the prank finally was able to pick his words up. "I…I can't take it anymore" 

Nanami’s nose crunches now that he caught up with the joke. Utterly pissed about being tricked, he snatched the papers from Satoru and continued doing his work. He just ignored the cries of joy from the other people in the room. 

The ever patient man he is, just fixed his glasses and continued doing what he’s supposed to do before a certain someone disturbed him. He should’ve thought twice when the blue-eyed trickster came close to him. But, ah. Maybe the thought of helping him in any way that he could and seeing those sparkly irises boring holes overthrows his senses. When I catch you, Satoru.

The said man saw the movements of Nanami's mouth but did not hear anything. He didn't bother to comprehend it at all because it doesn’t matter to him, anyway. His day is already fulfilled as one of his greatest dreams (successfully pranked Nanami) came true. Maybe this moment offers more that Kento’s cute nose scrunch unexpectedly adds to his bag of his achievement. That even his collection of medals and trophies at home could not compare.


With the first mission's success, Satoru dragged Suguru in a corner near the male bathroom right after the class' dismissal.

"No, Satoru." He deadpans, "We will not prank him again."

"Come on~" Gojo says, "We're on a roll right now." He continued after munching some snacks. Where did that come from? Suguru though. "Besides, listen to my plan first before you react."

Suguru only sighs in disbelief "Fine." 

The men were now huddling close to the sink and spoke with a hushed tone. After a few moments, they fix their posture. "It's… surprisingly not that bad."

"See, I told you!" Satoru grinned at his best friend. “Relax, this won’t ruin his, or our image as a teacher”. Now fixing his hair and glancing his face in the mirror for one last time, he grabbed Suguru’s arm and went immediately to the faculty room before the other had a chance to back out on him. The office is now full of people, mixed with teachers who either fix their things to go home or continue doing their paperwork and students who’re chasing their professors for any inquiry at hand. The place is like a wet market from the noises of the people, yet they don’t mind the usual scene after class.

“If this fails, I’m out of this.” Suguru reminded his friend as their tall and buff build helped them to smoothly squeeze through the mass and to look for the specific blonde-haired man. Satoru responded with yeah, yeah with an airy nose.

“There he is!” Satoru nudged Suguru with his arm, pointing at the distinguished gentleman across the room with his eyes. Kento is still rooted to the same position as earlier, typing something on his laptop. But now there’s a group of students huddled in the other corner. The duo thought that they’re doing something important so they decided to just stand near their vicinity. Not that near to the group and not obstructing the way for other people to walk inside the office.

Even with their silence, the students immediately noticed their lovely teachers and greeted them, to which Satoru responded with a wave and a charming smile from Suguru. After that, they signaled their pupils to remain quiet, aware of the fact that Nanami did not know about their presence yet. The students nodded quietly and stifled their giggles because all people in the campus knew about their playful nature.

The consultation continued without delay. Both parties are now focused in discussing matters regarding their course requirement, whereas the two only observe in silence. They are now sitting across the room after pulling some spare chairs when the crowd starts to dissipate. Nanami is still not aware of the lurking menaces around him, eyes still peeled on his work. Satoru thought that it was endearing, charming even. The way his hands flexes when typing something to his laptop, his stoic yet soft gaze to the students reflecting a gentle image to them, and his overall kind demeanor that pressed him to be the ‘perfect teacher’ image is such a beautiful view from the white-haired man. Alas, he can only admire his kouhai from afar, knowing that their contrasting characteristics will negatively clash.

“You look stupid with those twinkling eyes of yours, you know.” Satoru swats Suguru’s arm after hearing that remark and shakes his head. He then gazed back at the blonde-haired man.

“Alright, that would be all for now.” The moment Nanami arranged his belongings, all of them stood upright. “You all earned a well-deserved rest for a job well done.” His students chanted thank you,sir!, to which he responded with a smile. After that, he finally swiveled his chair to the other teachers’ general direction and his eyes slightly widened at the sight of the black and white mops smiling at him sheepishly. 

Satoru expects Nanami to breathe out an irritated sigh, or even completely ignore them but he doesn’t mind playing with their usual banter. Surprisingly, those did not come. Instead, he silently stood and walked to their way which he did not completely expect. Gojo is unsure on what to do while Nanami's hand reaches to him to fix some stray strands of his hair out of his face. He regretting not seeking guidance from any gods in advance to prepare himself for whatever comes next:

"What's the matter, baby?" 

The whole crowd froze and focused their attention on the two professors. Each of them now eyeing their every move, and the only sound of soft humming from the air conditioner fills the room.

"Oh." Nanami said, surprised by his actions. "I just realized we're still in school." He then charmes the other by putting his rare millimeter smile, “Sorry.” 

Oh, indeed. What does he mean by that? Are we a sickly in-love couple with a tooth aching call names? Is this okay in front of our students? I guess, we’re both adults and it’s past our classes. Still, why “baby” of all of those things? He didn’t even consult me regarding this! I mean I’m not mad hearing those words from him, even glad that I managed to strip his usual neutral facade. 

Well, I like it now… I mean that “baby” as our call name is indeed sweet (and even cringe to some). Thus, it is proof of him really loving me as he’s trying to make himself say those words without making a disgusted face or internally cringing to make me happy, right? Yeah, I do also like calling “love”, or even “honey” if he even allows me to. Satoru’s mind flew to an alternate universe where he and Nanami were a real couple. He thought that maybe they just got together recently and are still testing the waters of their relationship. Yet his mind betrayed him by inserting a thought that he’s missing something, and he doesn’t know exactly what it is. He then creases his eyebrows together to focus.

Huh..wait, they’re not together.

They’re in this universe, where Nanami and him are teachers in the faculty room.

Then, where did the “baby” come from?!

Satoru widened his eyes in realization that his ears did not deceive him. The Nanami Kento that he’s smitten over for how many years called him “baby”, and in front of many people! The white haired man is rendered still, all eyes are set onto him and waiting for his response. His colleagues and his students saw how a blush crept from his cheeks all the way to his ears and neck.

“Come again?” Satoru has to check if his hearing is right. That, and his poor attempt at hiding his cracking voice to utter that two-word question has notably taken a toll on him. 

“Hmm?” Nanami voiced his confusion. “Are you okay, baby?” The blonde haired man adjusted his tie and looked at Gojo with eyes laced with worry. 

The crystal blue eyes now got larger when Gojo heard the endearment again from Kento’s mouth. The office is still quiet, observing how he would react. He does not know what to do with his deepening shade of red blush and sweaty palms, not even his best friend can aid him in this situation. This fucker . Satoru thought when he glanced at his best friend, looking for any sign of mischief of secretly pulling out a prank on him instead. But he only saw the same shocked expression like the crowd from him. You’re not helping, AT ALL. Satoru scolded the man beside him in his mind. They will definitely have some talk later.

Back to the matter at hand, he looked back at Nanami. Does he know what he’s doing? His prank had been long gone to his muddled mind. Is he…joking? Wait, Nanami and jokes? Blegh! Not in every universe would those words combine in a sentence! 

But, Ah! He finally saw it. With a glimpse of his blue eyes, he catches a small movement on Kento’s lips akin to a playful smirk.

He… just got pranked…by Nanami. The Gojo Satoru is now stunned, locked to his feet, and cannot think rationally. It’s over for both his poor brain and heart.

He completely lost it all. He silently went to a nearby wall and smashed his head on it.


After that scandalous scene, aka the hysteric yells from the people when they saw Gojo banged his head on the wall that caused visible red marks on his forehead, the two teachers are now at the school infirmary. The taller man held a pack of frozen peas to his head to soothe the pain, while the other grabbed a glass of water to offer to his colleague. Shoko agreed to their request to be alone for a while, not without pinching their cheeks in irritation before going out.

“Sorry.” Nanami insisted on a conversation with Satoru after a few minutes of silence, “I went overboard.” 

“It’s fine.” Satoru said, smiling at the other and gulped the drink before he continued, “I guess I did deserve that.”

“Even if you’re an asshole, it's not.” Nanami stood up from where he sat and went near the white-haired man. “Can I see your injury?”

Gojo granted Nanami’s request and lifted the frozen peas out of his forehead. He puts the peas aside and uses his hands instead to flip his hair to have a better view. It's not the same angry red color anymore, but there are little scratches from the imprints of the bumps on the concrete pillar. Nanami caressed his thumb gently on the part and Gojo silently hissed in surprise at the change of temperature of the cold peas to his warm hand. The blonde man is shocked as he thought that he hurt the other.

“My apologies." Kento quickly said, retracting his hands and placing it on Gojo’s shoulder instead. "Is there anything that I can do to you?”

"Kiss it to make it better?” If there’s a notable thing about Satoru, it is his impeccable tenacity in making every situation funny. However, he always fails to see that the man in front of him will take every word he utters seriously. 

Satoru regrets not seeking for the guide of the divinities above after what happened earlier because his brain burnt to a crisp once more the moment he felt those soft lips on his forehead. It was quick, just a peck, a tease of cotton and heaven on Earth.

“Wha-" Gojo cannot ask a question, nor cannot catch a breath when those lips cushions to his head again but tender and longer than the last. He cannot see Nanami's face from this angle, so he doesn't know if his kouhai is just toying with his poor heart. Instinctively, he tenses and does not move a muscle. Satoru cannot (and doesn't want to) push him away either and decided to stay glued to his position. 

Some moments passed, he felt Nanami's right hand cups his face and played with his hair at the back of his head with the other hand. That's where Satoru finally relaxed and closed his eyes. Like a barrier switch turned off and letting himself be vulnerable for whatever the other throws at him, his shoulders also relaxed. Satoru just wanted to savor every bit of this rare moment: a rather intimate and private moment for both of them. Neither Satoru nor Nanami did not care about their relationship status (for now). They're just enjoying what's happening at the moment.

After feeling like forever (but actually just 10 seconds had passed), Nanami retracted his lips from the injured forehead and hands from the taller one. Satoru pouted, wanting to be in cloud nine for longer but peeled his eyes open nonetheless. His blue eyes seek for some clue from the unexpected action of Kento. Desperately searching for the same sly smirk or other signs of funny attempts on him. Yet, he only sees the other's averting gaze and his hands trying (and failing) to hide the blush dusting to Nanami's cheeks and ears.

The moment he saw those red blush on Nanami's pretty face, Satoru also blushed. Now, both of them are madly blushing and are quiet after the recent event. 

Well, Gojo be damned but he doesn't want to open up some questions regarding Kento's actions (yet) and he's afraid of the thought of him getting ignored after what happened. So, he, instinctively, went to bicker with the other instead: “If you go lower, you kiss my lips instead.”

Nanami flared in his direction and immediately threw the neglected peas at his face. Satoru's whining can be heard across the room, complaining that it hits his nose.

“Now I have 2 injuries!" Satoru protested.

“Hmph." 

“Huh?! Why did you do that?" Satoru attempts to ask about that throw (and the forehead kiss) but Nanami decides to ignore him and goes to the door.

“Hey! Nanami~!” The taller man's calls are not answered now that Kento clicks the door handle, swings the door open, and leaves the room.

"Noooooo~” Satoru whines but does not follow the blonde anymore. He just stared at the now warm peas in his hand and recalled the previous events. He smiled like a fool when he remembered the forehead kiss, wishing that this would not be the last time that he will experience that from him.


The following days, the “baby" scene  spread like a wildfire in the campus. Students bombarded their two professors with questions. Most of them are asking for confirmation about their relationship in which Namami politely ignores and Satoru shrugs off with a laugh. When the two did not satisfy their curiosity, the students storm to their lovely teacher Geto to seek for answer:

“Maybe, maybe not.”

Notes:

I finished one prompt but I created 10 more. I think this is what people call a “writer’s dilemma”. I hope I can write my old (and new) brainrots and deliver it to you~

Any kind of support is highly appreciated, and let me know what you think! 😊