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Ena has always had Mizuki by her side.
She always saw their goofy, bright smile when their eyes would lock. Always felt the gentleness of their arms embracing her, making her feel so secure as she rested her head on their shoulders. All the endearing kisses they gave her before they went to bed, and all the soft, adoring whispers of “I love you” spoken in her direction during random times of the day. Ena was used to it all, as it had become such a norm in her everyday life. Perhaps she even knew to expect it, even on Mizuki’s lowest days where she’d be comforting them instead.
But one day, they simply vanished from her side.
And Ena found herself all alone, in a cluttered apartment full of memories with them.
The only thing she could do was look around, as she wrapped a thin blanket around her curled figure. Despite the mess that she hadn’t bothered to clean up over the last few days, with clothes carelessly thrown all over the place and crumpled up pages of her sketchbook littering the floor, it had felt so empty to the point that not even curling herself up into a ball helped with making her feel cramped at all.
It had been far too long since Mizuki left her side, and yet Ena couldn’t find it in her to get used to the feeling of emptiness it carved deep in her heart. Even as she watched the seasons slowly change through the little gap of her curtains, Ena felt as if she had still been stuck in place.
Having already lost count of the days that became muddled with one another, she could only lift her tear stricken face and look around her apartment room once again, unable to say anything other than the same three words she hadn’t stopped uttering since their departure.
“...I miss you….”
She could only wonder where Mizuki was, no matter how futile it had been to go and look for them.
Yet Ena also naively thought that they would be together forever and experience Mizuki’s intimacy every single day without tire. Hearing Mizuki’s sweet voice waking her up every morning. Receiving back hugs from them that she’d pretend to hate but would secretly love so much that she’d lean back to bask in it for a few more seconds than they had intended. She had wanted to live the rest of her life with such warmth from her beloved, but alas, it had simply been a dead dream at that point.
A broken hope that would never come into fruition.
And the only thing Ena could do was try and summon the courage to forget Mizuki and move on, no matter how painful it was. No matter how much her heart refused to move a single inch from the spring it had remained in.
But of course, things were never that simple as she would spend her days reminiscing of the past. She knew, through Mizuki’s actions, that they genuinely loved her, and had also hoped for a bright future with her as well. They would’ve never decided to leave, not when Ena believed that she provided them with security for the future as she, too, showed her admiration for them on a much grander scale.
So why?
Why had Mizuki disappeared from her side?
Ena could only keep repeating those words in her mind as she slipped off to slumber, yet the ache in her heart prevented her from truly resting.
Ena awoke that evening, with a hazy mind swimming in a dream that she could only vaguely remember.
But everything about it felt so familiar, the more she thought about it. It held the same warmth that she no longer felt, with the source of it still being the same as she remembered. As she remained upright in her spot, the blanket having fell off her shoulders in the process, she futilely tried to recreate the sensation only to fall so flat that it simply gave her the opposite effect. Ena tried to recall the dream, yet she could only remember so much in her restless slumber.
A person a black dress, with their back turned to her. Ena couldn’t see their features well, but the contrast of their dress to the bright pink hair they wore stood out to Ena so much that it had been the only thing she could remember. They walked away from Ena, but no matter how much calling out she did, reaching out to them, she couldn’t follow. They left so quickly, vanishing from Ena’s gaze and slowly disappearing before she arose from her slumber.
It was clear that Mizuki was starting to fade from her mind, just as she had hoped now that her dreams of spending forever with them had been unachievable, yet the love that she felt for them kept their memory burning bright in her heart that she refused.
Alongside the photographs that she kept of them in her apartment, of all the happy times they’ve spent together in over the last few years, she clung onto the memories. The cold, autumn day they clumsily confessed to one another on the rooftop, a moment playing out like a cheesy romance flick that Ena would have never expected to experience in her lifetime.
“...I’ve liked you. For as long as I can remember….”
“Wh-what do you mean by that, Ena…?”
“Don’t make me repeat it again! I’m saying that I love you in a ‘more than friends’ kind of way, okay? Go out with me, please!”
A laugh, so beautifully fine-tuned to her liking even if Mizuki wasn’t aware of it at the time. It made Ena’s heart skip a beat, the first of many times throughout the years. A smile so ardent, reserved for only Ena as they gave a smile of solace.
“Oh…. That’s good. I thought I was the only one, then….”
Another laugh, as the two of them pressed their foreheads together in relief and their fingers intertwined in such a passionate manner. Mizuki’s smile that day had been so unforgettable, that even without a picture of it, she knew it’d be permanently burned in her heart no matter how much she tried to forget them.
She loved them so very much. She still did.
She wanted to hear their voice again.
Ena finally unravelled herself from the bed, standing up to fetch her phone from the low table that remained clear of mess despite the state of her one-bedroom apartment. She knew that this was pointless, but after ignoring messages of worry from her friends displayed on her lock screen, namely Kanade and Airi, she scrolled through her phone in search of something.
And on her contacts, falling under the “M” section, had been Mizuki’s name, adorned with hearts from when she had first started dating them.
Her hands trembled, but she dared press their name and the “Call” button. Ena brought the phone to her ears, hoping with each delayed ring that they would pick up and she’d be able to hear their voice once more.
But the call ended before it could even begin, and Ena was once again left in silence.
Just as she had expected.
“...it couldn’t have worked, anyway,” she pitifully mumbled to herself, listlessly throwing her phone back on the table as she snatched her blanket once more. Instead of going back to her bed, she simply made her way to the window, opening up her curtains for the first time in weeks to get some fresh air.
Hopefully clearing her mind.
But as she slid the curtains open, she saw the slow change of the dark skies. The night gradually disappearing as dawn started to pull the stars away from her vision. The stars…were disappearing back into nature, and Ena couldn’t help but uselessly reach out for them. Reach out to what she could only hope to be Mizuki’s whereabouts, but she knew it was no use.
Just like Mizuki, the stars vanished.
And just like the rain clouds, Ena remained, lacking the warmth that she once loved so much as her tears started to fall one by one. Weeping, mourning, over her beloved who would never embrace them any longer. Never to say such assuring words of affection to her.
Never to utter “I love you” to her any longer.
Her love wouldn’t go away. Her memories of Mizuki were there to stay. But she gave up trying to move on, and perhaps it were for the best.
The only thing Ena could do, as hard as it had been to do, was to keep on living.
For her sake, and for Mizuki’s.
Wherever they may be.