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Prince Poo is currently sitting on a boat in the middle of an ocean listening to his companions argue about what a Kracken was, which is not what he expected to be doing when he arrived. Then again, in the few minutes he had spent with the other members of the Chosen Four he had been ambushed, which was treated as something completely normal.
“Photo guy!” Ness, Paula, and Jeff had all chorused in unison. True to their word, a strange man with a camera dropped from the sky, proclaiming that he was a photographic genius.
“Say Fuzzy Pickles!” The man had trilled.
Ness smiled and flashed a peace sign. Paula and Jeff glared at the interruption. Poo stood beside them with a bewildered expression.
“Why must you indulge him?” Jeff had huffed once the man soared back into the sky.
“My mom always said to smile in photos. It’s not my fault you two are major grumps!” Ness shoved him. Jeff gasps and shoved him back. Both blows lack the usual force used for combat, so Poo feels slightly secure in his assumption that this is not the breaking point of their small group and that Ness and Jeff will not tear each other into bloody shreds.
“I’m not a major grump, I just don’t like being distracted when we’ve got a mission to focus on.”
“Fine, fine. The sailor should take us across the sea now that we’ve fixed his marriage problems. Onwards!” Ness pointed his bat forwards before setting off in that direction, Paula and Jeff trailing behind. It took a few seconds to realize that he was supposed to follow as well.
The rest of their short walk had resulted in the same feeling of intrusion, like he had barged in on a gathering of old friends. The three of them chattered among themselves about adventures he was not privy to and though they tried to create openings for him to speak, it was only a matter of time before the conversation shifted back to past exploits and boarded the boat. Ness and Paula were currently in a small argument over what a Kraken was as Jeff watched the sea for any signs of attack.
“I’m telling you, Paula. I once read a book about Krakens and they haunted my nightmares for weeks. I’m pretty sure I know what they look like.” Ness sits opposite to him on the other bench, Paula at his side engaged in their debate.
“Krakens are giant squid monsters. Squids don’t have hair or breathe fire.” She snaps back, smile betraying her amusement.
“It’s not hair, it’s a mane. It’s fur.”
“Squids don’t have fur either!”
“That’s because it’s not a squid, it’s a giant snake.”
“Then it would be a sea serpent, not a Kraken!”
Poo’s prepared to let the conversation become white noise and go back to wondering when they’ll get attacked when Ness calls out to him. “Hey, Poo! Is a Kraken a giant squid or a fire breathing snake?”
There were myths about both in Dalaam. They ranged from fairly plausible to clearly ridiculous, but that wasn’t the dilemma. The dilemma was that Poo was fresh to the group and had to make a decision that would impact his companion’s perception of him and ally him to them. He was warned of situations like this in his political lessons. If he went with Ness’s option he would have the security of the person who partially saw his training and was a healer. If he went with Paula’s option, he would have the support of the Chosen Four’s most aggressive fighter, and they seemed to share an attack. He is saved from a decision when a voice breaks out.
“There!” Jeff, spyglass held up to one of his eyes, points to a speck on the horizon. The three of them quickly move to crowd him as the speck disappears.
“What was that?” Ness asks, leaning over the boat’s side to get a better look.
“The Kraken, duh!” Paula says, yanking him back by the top hook of his backpack so he doesn’t fall.
“There’s a shadow under the water.” Poo reports, watching as something red briefly surfaced before sinking back under into the much larger, much closer shadow.
“Sailor guy!” Ness yells to the man currently driving them. “Something’s coming this way!”
The boat roars with another spurt of speed, the island they were hugging for protection now more of a hindrance due to the currents trying to pull them in. A frilled tail flicks out and propels the shadow forwards, and Poo is suddenly far more grateful that PSI Teleport has such a low cost and he has plenty left. Judging on how Ness takes out a bat and Paula grabs a frying pan, they too see the potential fight literally on the horizon.
The previously clear sky rips open with pouring rain as something large slams into the hull of their boat, sending Jeff crashing backwards into him. Poo’s lack of weaponry allows him to catch the other boy before he can hit the ground. Jeff looks like he’s about to say something as he stands up, the beginning of a thanks forming on his lips before an earsplitting roar sounds as the Kraken rises from the sea.
Water drips off of its sides, creating the illusion that it’s scales are shifting as the Kraken’s leering maw-is that blood stained on its teeth?- opens wide and spits fire at them. The boat lurches forwards as the fireball sinks into the sea. They don’t make it out as the tail of the Kraken wraps around the front and drags the boat back as it’s mouth opens again and the head slinks close enough to hit.
Ness rises to the occasion. “Paula, keep hitting it with PSI Freeze Gamma! If we get lucky enough, it’s body will solidify. Jeff, look for any weaknesses we can use. Poo…” Ness turns to him before trailing off.
“Leave this to me.” He slams his palms together, charging up PSI Shield Sigma, a white veil of light crystallizing around their bodies before disappearing. Ness’s eyes light up in recognition before he looks back to the beast menacing their vessel.
“I don’t think PSI Fire or Freeze will do good damage to it!” Jeff reports, stowing his spyglass away so he can begin assembling something on the floor. His assumption is proven correct when Paula’s PSI Freeze Gamma tries to slide up the Kraken’s sides. It makes decent progress before the Kraken shakes and shatters the ice, leaving a small space on it’s chest a bit raw.
Poo leaps into the air and lands a kick square into the spot. It doesn’t do as much damage as he hoped and the water from the ice causes him to take an embarrassing slip back onto the boat as Ness holds his hands out and curls them. As he does so, the colorful lines that make up PSI Paralysis Alpha knit around the Kraken’s body and holds it into place. Jeff finishes with the thing on the floor, sending what appears to be a rocket crashing into the spot he struck. It explodes with a bang, Ness’s spell keeping the Kraken from recoiling as Paula slams her frying pan into it’s tail.
The lines tremble before breaking away as the Kraken roars and flashes the silvery scales on it’s underbelly. The combination of lightning flashing creates a searing burst of green light that shatters the shield he conjured up. He’s prepared to cast another one when electricity discharges through the Kraken’s body, racing for them.
Poo leaps back, feeling the hiss of some form of PSI Thunder crash down with a large bang. The attack slams into Jeff, crouched on the floor, sending another one of those rocket things careening across the floor. The roll of the boat sends it back to him as he returns to his knees and continues setting it up. Paula stumbles back, grip still tight on her weapon as the electricity sinks out of her and into the pan, slinging it back at the Kraken. Some type of channeling attack? He’d have to ask later. Remarkably enough, the lightning deflects off of Ness’s body and back into the Kraken, who writhes with a howl due to the combined force of that and Paula’s redirection. While it’s still stunned, a bottle rocket flies into it’s side.
It seems like they’re winning until the Kraken lands a fireball that Paula barely misses, unfortunately hitting the rest of them. As the flames rip across his face, another bottle rocket gets set off involuntary and misses the Kraken clean. PSI Lifeup Gamma circled around him as Poo casts his own version of Lifeup around Jeff, who’s half scorched.
“I’m flat out of bottle rockets!” He reports, digging around in his bag for what appeared to be a contraption with a clap at the end before firing it at the Kraken. The clamp digs into it’s body, dragging life energy from it’s body and repairing whatever scuffs remain after Poo’s healing.
Lighting roars into the Kraken’s body, stray bolts striking the massive beast. They sear into his eyes, stray sparks falling from Paula’s body. It look’s like she’s going to attack again before the Kraken’s tail knocks her to the ground and rattling the entire boat. Sea spray flies into his lungs and face.
Ness hisses an unfamiliar word. Judging from the expression on his face and general situation, Poo can guess that it’s a curse word. Energy charges up in his eyes, shining red and blue and yellow as Ness shoves his hands out and a wave of prismatic diamonds shoot into the Kraken, digging between it’s scales before they fizzle out; he’s expended all of his PSI for now.
The Kraken moves it’s head to bite at Paula and panic screams through his body, freezing it in place. He has to move, he has to, why can’t he move, the Kraken can’t paralyze things-
A slipper goes flying through the sky, hitting the beast’s mane. Another one follows afterwards, slapping against it’s face. It’s so cosmically stupid it snaps Poo out of his fear and lets him cast his own PSI Thunder Beta, hitting the Kraken point blank and causing it to stagger back. Paula’s on her feet again, tossing a small, colorfully wrapped candy at Ness before power surges through his veins. A look at the particles fading from her hands confirm Poo’s theory; she’s cast PSI Offense Up Omega. A Super Bomb flies through the air, thrown by Jeff. It explodes with a bang before Poo rushes into the spot where it landed, kicking furiously before the Kraken shakes him off. Another array of tricolored diamonds from Ness, before Paula lands another PSI Thunder, and the Kraken finally falls.
For a few seconds they all just stand there, watching as one last furious roar leaves it before it staggers back into the sea, sinking below the waves as the storm switches into a drizzle before petering out entirely. Ness collapses onto the floor. The rest of them follow suit. The deck of the boat is slick with seawater, but they’re already soaked so it doesn’t really matter.
“Told you it was a snake.” Ness wheezes.
Paula kicks him softly. “Gloat later. When we’re not so tired.”
“I think I swallowed half the sea in that fight.” Poo confesses, coughing up some more water shortly afterwards.
“You and me both, mate. You and me both.” Jeff responds.
It seems like they’re just going to lie there until their energy returns. He can hear the captain shuffle around, metal clinking and engine rumbling back to life. That’s good. He doesn’t think he has enough PSI left in him to even teleport.
“You kids are crazy,” the captain says, sounding incredulous and awed. “You took down a real, mother-of-god Kraken. I threw my slippers at the beast. I don’t think they helped. We’ll be moving in a bit. You guys just hang tight.” With that, he moves back into the cabin.
Poo can hear the caws of seagulls begin to return. “Is every day like this?”
Ness huffs out a laugh. “Nope. You caught us at a really bad time. Normally we beat up stop signs or moles.”
“Or evil mushrooms.” Paula pipes up.
“Or coffee cups.” Jeff adds.
“Hm.” Poo responds. He wishes he could say something more eloquent, but it’s a struggle to even keep his eyes open. He thought his training would have made him better equipped for encounters like this, but it seemed rather far fetched now. When would Poo ever need to reattach his soul to his body? Unless he sustained mortal injury. That was probably why. He still wished he had better PSI instead. If he could learn how to cast PSI Starstorm, it would have been over in a flash for the Kraken. If he trained more, trained harder, would he have learned it by now?
“Heads up, kids! We are approaching the beautiful Scarabian coast. We’ll make landfall in about five minutes, so if you want a nice view from the sea, this is your last chance!” The captain spoke, imitating a tour guide. Poo blinked and pushed himself up from the ground. He hadn’t realized how much time had passed when he was thinking. The rest of the chosen four follow suit, clutching onto the rail for support.
“There’s the hotel.” Ness pointed to a building relatively close by to the dock. The boat tumbled into the harbor, and with the thanks of the captain they shlepped into the building.
“I’m sorry sir, but we only have the Ultra Deluxe Suite.” The receptionist said, peering at them and their tattered, drenched, and scorched clothes.
“Well, nothing wrong with treating ourselves. Any complaints?” Ness asked.
“As long as there’s a bed for me to collapse onto? None at all.” Paula responded.
————————————
“Whoa, mama!” Ness says as they enter the room. “Look at the size of that bed!”
While not the way Poo would phrase it, Ness was right. The bed was massive, easily enough to fit all four of them and leave space between. It reminded him of the one his parents slept in, overexessive size a show of wealth. The rest of the room was decent enough, with a large television sitting on a long table that had a bowl filled with different types of soaps.
“Ooh, they’ve even got mints on the pillows! I thought they only did that in movies!” Paula exclaims, taking one and ripping into it. Jeff says nothing, but is quick to claim the desk in the corner and spread his tools and inventions over it.
Poo spares a glance to the soap bowl, which upon closer inspection has a stack of towels underneath. They’re mostly dry due to their earlier rest in the sun after the defeat of the Kraken, but a few damp spots remain, so he takes a towel and wraps it around himself.
“Could you throw me and Paula a towel too?” Ness, currently sitting on the side of the bed, asks before beginning to sift through his bag. Poo throws, and for a few seconds is worried that the neatly folded towels are going to thwack into his head or the expensive lamp beside him, but Ness just holds up one of his hands before causing the towels to float gently beside them.
“Show off.” Paula grumbles, but takes her towel.
“I didn’t know you possessed Telekinesis.” Poo says, tentatively sitting beside him. “It’s nice to see a fellow user.”
Ness looks up, one arm still buried in his bag. “Really? Dude, you’ve got to teach me all the cool tricks you know. I’ve been trying to juggle with my mind, but I always drop them before I pass the ten second mark.”
Paula pushes herself up from the bed, impact diminished by the fact that she has to crawl to get off it. It’s truly a ludicrous size. “Nope, not being here for this conversation. I’m going to go bother Jeff.”
As if sensing Poo’s confused look, Ness switches his voice to a dramatic stage whisper. “She doesn’t like talking about it because she can’t do it. Which like, I would totally take telepathy in a heartbeat, but whatever.”
“I have limited telepathy. I can connect people from a close range, but not from long distances.”
“That’s probably why Paula couldn’t reach you in Threed. We got ambushed and locked up in a big hole, so we had to ask Jeff for help. He ended up getting this big metal ball, you probably saw the wreck on the beach, that was us, and he crashed it though the ceiling.” The memory is clearly a fond one, given how Ness beams when he recites it. That also brings the thing that has been nagging Poo for their time together.
“I must apologize.”
“Apologize? For what?”
“It’s no secret that I arrived late. I hear about your past battles and I wonder if there was another member present, the pain could be lesser. I have taken longer than necessary to meet up with you in favor of last minute training, and even after that I froze up. If we are to save the world from Giygas, I cannot fail like that again.”
“Yeah? I ran from stray dogs when I first started out. You fought a Kracken with us, Poo. You don’t even know us that well! Everyone freezes up sometimes. That’s why there’s four of us and not one. The rest of us can pick up the slack when someone’s down and they can do the same for us.”
“Yes, it’s just… I fear I’ve made a bad first impression on the other two members we’re traveling with.”
“Dude. Jeff got mushroomized and fired a bazooka directly towards Paula in the first two days when we met, and now look at them!” Poo allows himself to catch a glance at the other members of their party. A small ball of electricity circles around the room, directed by Paula. Jeff’s eyes flit between the form of PSI Thunder and a notepad, frantically scribbling down notes. Paula veers the ball towards him, causing Jeff to screech and scuttle back. She laughs. He shoves her with a not funny, Paula! but laughs nonetheless.
“Besides…” A playful grin crosses Ness’s face as he slings an arm around Poo’s shoulder and pulls him close. “You’re one of us now, for better or for worse. We’re gonna be sharing an unbreakable warrior’s bond by the end of this journey. There’s a lot of similar stuff between all of us, and I’m sure you could pull off a conversation if you tried. You just need to take that first step.” Ness motions his head towards Jeff and Paula.
With that prompt, Poo pushes himself off the bed and approaches. He feels awkward, butting into a conversation with no knowledge of what they’re talking about, but Ness’s earlier words give him strength. “I haven’t seen anyone human able to use PSI Thunder. It’s as impressive as my teacher said it would be.”
“Pretty neat, huh? The Kraken’s one got me all juiced up. I feel like I can summon a storm!” She throws her hands up to the sky, a loud crash of thunder following after. “Whoops.”
“Please don’t. I think I’m going to be squeezing water out of my socks for days.” Jeff says, scooting to face him. “You said human casters of PSI Thunder earlier. Care to elaborate?”
“There are some spirits back in Dalaam that could do the same. I thought I was the only other person who could use it until I met you.”
“Oh, stop.” Paula makes an exaggerated shooing motion with her hand. “You’re not half bad yourself. But yeah, normally it’s way less powerful than that. Weirdly enough, I think the Kraken taught me how to cast it better.”
“I think you’re on the Gamma tier of PSI Thunder now, Paula.” Jeff mentions, showing Poo a chart. “We’ve started to catalog who knows what. Can you write down your PSI spells?”
As Poo does so, he asks a question he’s been curious about ever since the fight with the Kraken. “Your use of PSI Freeze was unconventional, but impressive. Where did you get the idea?”
“What idea?” Paula looks confused.
“The… idea to try and freeze something with it? I know the translation of it makes that connotation, but aren’t you supposed to freeze the water vapor in the air and then direct that at your enemies?” Poo hands the notepad back to Jeff, who has flipped to a new page and is frantically jotting down what he said on a sheet that seems to be dedicated to PSI Freeze itself.
“You ARE?”
“You didn’t know this?” Now it’s his turn to look confused.
“I didn’t have a teacher. It just showed up one day, and I’ve been rolling with it ever since. Pretty neat that it’s so versatile. We’ll have to experiment when we have a free day.” Paula says.
“So, all of you are home taught?” Poo’s head is spinning. It makes logical sense, PSI isn’t the most common skill in the world, much less those who are old enough and willing to try and hone it. It’s also baffling to think that someone could cruise off of instinct alone. He wouldn’t know half of his powers if his master hadn’t taught him.
“It has it’s pros and cons. On one hand, I get enough lecturing from my parents and I work better when figuring it out on my own. On the other, it would have saved me a lot of burnt plants.”
“There was an engineering class in Snow Wood. Eventually I started looking for more materials once the classes weren’t enough, and the library was more than willing to indulge me.”
Ness calls from his post on the bed, their leftovers from Summers arranged on the side table. “We’re just like the Road Rubies. You’ve got the smart guy, the charming leader, the professional, and the wildcard.”
Jeff’s voice pipes up. “Are you comparing the destined saviors of the world to a gang of street thugs?”
“Of course not! All I’m saying is that we should totally get matching leather jackets!”
Poo’s prepared to accept this as another thing from the past, but when Paula speaks up with a, “What on earth are you talking about?” he realizes that this might be a strictly Ness-and-Jeff thing.
“Gimme a second, Paula. You are about to have your mind blow.” Ness dives off their comically oversized bed and snags the remote from a side table. “My mom’s big into soap operas, and there was only one that I watched all the way to the end. It was called Road Rubies, and it was the coolest thing I had ever seen. It’s about a gang of motorcycle drives, they’re the Rubies, and their adventures. It’s a little cheesy, but that’s the fun of it.”
There were televisions back in Daalam, of course. Poo just never had the time to indulge in them when his training started up. One of his tutors was quite the avid watcher of a popular Daalmese soap opera that’s been running for two decades. Poo though it would have ended a long time ago, but there were plenty of secret twins and memory losses to keep the plot chugging along. He tried to watch it with him a couple times but he could never take it seriously, and then his training picked up so he didn’t have enough time to watch it. Is this in a similar vein? “How do you know about it, Jeff?” Poo asks.
He flushes a bright red. “Sometimes the older boys would watch it common room. I liked the part where they would go in depth about the motorcycle modifications. They weren’t always accurate, so I would make versions in my head that were.”
Ness flips through the channels before coming to an ad block. “After this, you guys can see episode two. It’s not that crazy yet.”
As the commercial about trout flavor yogurt fades (Ness had made a particularly loud boo when it had come on), a loud intro blaring rock music plays over quickly cut scenes from the show before fading into the opening scene, showing two figures far apart on an empty highway road. One of them is talking about what it means to fight for truth and ideals when on the road, as the other sneers something about how they run the streets now.
“Seriously,” Jeff snickers, “what kind of dialogue is this? I forgot how melodramatic it was.”
“Ooh, Jackie! The blood red moon shines down upon our motorcycle duel!” Paula barely gets the words out before collapsing into hysterical laughter.
It’s very hard to not laugh. He can barely fathom how one would have a duel with motorcycles of all things. Would you ride the motorcycle while dueling? Are you dueling with the motorcycle?
“The melodrama’s the point. It wouldn’t be a soap opera if it wasn’t! Now shh, you’re going to miss the best line.”
The figure on the left side, Jackie (?) proclaims, “As long as my ride, Hopebringer, coasts through the streets of Enginemania, we’ll never lose to the Driving Diamonds! Now, take to the asphalt. We settle this like true men.”
Poo laughs. Everyone does, even Ness. It falls into the rare category of “so bad it’s good”, and he doesn’t think he could stop laughing if he tried. Ness chokes out a, “No, no, it gets even better! See what Daniel says!”
As they laugh at the overdramatic series on the television, Poo can’t help but feel like he could fight a thousand Krakens.
——————————
“So, how’s everyone feeling? Well rested? Refreshed?” Ness is already pulling his battered sneakers on, trademark hat sitting on his head as Poo blinks the sleep from his eyes. They had stayed up far later than he had anticipated, watching until something else aired and then talking about home, PSI, and everything inbetween.
“I had another vision.” Paula reports, tying the ribbon she wears into a bow. “There’s something important at the Fourside History Museum. Remember that sanctuary we could never find a way to? I think I’ve got it.”
“Nice work, Paula! I’m gonna check up with my mom and then we can move out.” Ness walks out the door as Jeff awakens.
“What’s happening?”
“We’re going back to Fourside.” Paula fills him in.
“The Sky Runner’s broken. I take it we’re teleporting?” Jeff pulls on his glasses and slides his inventions off the desk and into his bag.
“Yup.” Paula answers. A groan from Jeff in response.
“Do you dislike teleporting?” Poo asks.
“Do I? The first few times we tried it, Ness ran us directly into a wall, then into a taxi that tried to kill us, and then into a magic butterfly. We were shaking soot off of our clothes for days.” Jeff shudders. “He’s gotten a bit better, but I would rather take good old machinery any day.”
“You still had some when you came to get me.” Paula says.
“My point exactly.”
The rest of them file outside, belongings stowed and hotel breakfast eaten. After that, Ness guides them to the desert. “Poo, you know how to teleport with a group?”
“Yes. Remain in a line and do not let go. I will be willing to teleport us too, if need be. Then again, you have more group experience than me.”
“Alright! This is your captain speaking, keep your arms and legs inside the chain at all times, there will be no bathroom breaks, and if I don’t crash a single time, you all have to call me the teleporting master supreme! Three, two, one, go!” He starts walks, slowly picking up speed until they’re jogging through the desert. The jog turns into a run, which then turns into a blur.
“Veer left!” Ness barks. Jeff’s grip on his hand is crushingly tight. They’ve sped up to the point of flames now, glass footprints crystallizing in the sand behind them. The Scarabian desert fades away, giving form to the silver spires of Fourside. Everything’s going perfectly until Ness screeches to a literal halt, stumbling in order to avoid hitting a lamppost. This results in a pileup, sending all of them crashing to the floor.
“Nice work, teleporting master supreme.” Jeff snarks from his place of crumpled between Poo and Ness.
“I think you should let me do the teleporting from now on.” Poo says, helping a woozy looking Jeff to his feet.
They’re certainly an odd collective, a baseball player, a famed child, a boy genius, and a prince. Even collapsed in a pile, Poo wouldn’t trade all of the stars in the sky for them.