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Sun kissed rays shone and reflected over the watery asphalt, on a chilly summer morning. It was sometime around 6 a.m. in the early hours of sunrise, and Kaoru was taking a morning walk through the neighbourhood. It wasn’t a particularly busy day, neither for the streets nor for the blond. UNDEAD had already come to the end of their tour for the year, and didn’t have any more shows to perform for the time being. Songwriting was going slow, too, leaving another uncomfortable hole in Kaoru’s unusually blank schedule.
In the midst of a mindless walk, Kaoru realised he’d been tracing the path to his highschool. They’d graduated, shit, a year ago? Although Adonis and Koga were technically still students, the same couldn’t be said for Kaoru and Rei. They’d both moved out of the dorms and into their own— separate— apartments . They’d gotten somewhat closer after their graduation, with both of them having much more spare time to kill.
Kaoru didn’t bother gazing at his former school, with nobody in the proximity, because it was some ungodly hour in the morning for most people on a weekday. They’d either be sleeping or already at work, Kaoru supposed. The cool air kissed his cheeks, and the lack of a breeze was refreshing. A delicate taste of newborn sun hung in the air. Wasn’t it impressive, how early the sun would rise on a summer day?
He kept circling around on an empty stomach, regretting going out empty handed. It wasn’t like the supermarkets would open anytime soon. If he wanted a bite, he’d have to go back to his apartment.
Just then, around the corner of a wall, a black cat emerged.
“Meoooooooow.”
It let out the most high-pitched meow Kaoru had maybe heard, ever.
“Meooow.”
It kept talking. It seemed like it had no plans to stay quiet.
“Hey, what do we have here?”
And Kaoru gave in, kneeling down to pet the cat.
“Meow.”
The cat rubbed its face on Kaoru’s leg. Just as he was about to pet it, it kept rubbing along Kaoru as it reached his back. ‘How am I supposed to pet you if you walk to the other side the moment I decide to kneel down?’ he thought to himself.
He waited a while for the cat to come back to the front.
“That’s a good kitty.”
Kaoru started petting its head. The black cat seemed fairly young, maybe a year old at best. Yet it acted so dramatically.
“Haaa… Reminds me of someone.”
Feeling content after a sufficiently long petting session, Kaoru got up to head to the beach. Seeing how the cat wasn’t following him, he felt a small wave of relief come over him. Kaoru would’ve felt guilty of leaving it, had it decided to stick around.
He passed buildings and houses and parked cars as he walked. Kaoru had grown a liking to early morning walks. Dawning hours always had a serene, comfortable solitude to it that he never could find in anything else. The city was silent and Kaoru could be alone with the world. Only the sound of distant waves and seagulls would envelope the silence.
Unsurprisingly, the beach was also empty. Kaoru took his sandals off, stepping on the cold asphalt and then jumping on the sand. He kept walking towards the sea. The scent of salt intensified with each step he took, and a small breeze blew his golden hair. Waves crashed on the shore, as Kaoru rolled up the cuffs of his pants and stepped into the water, sandals in hand. He walked along the length of the shore in the midst of a batch of seagulls. Water splashed on his calves, and his pants, but he didn’t care. The beach was greeting him and he belonged. Kaoru closed his eyes as he kept walking, taking in the smell of seasalt and the sensation of surging, clean water.
The sky was a cool shade of white-ish grey, with the sun pinkishly peeking out from the horizon. Kaoru never admitted it, but he hated when the beach was crowded. He liked it better when there was no one around. It was calmer, it was more comfortable and it felt safe. The sea was his haven.
The water reminded him of people he loved. It reminded him of his mother. Most of his last memories with her were from the sad, lonely hospital room. But at times, when she would feel better, Kaoru would bring her out to the sea. She wouldn’t go in the water, but liked walking in it. So refrained Kaoru from swimming as well, and walked in the crashing waves, hand in hand. They would spend all day together, walking, looking for pretty shells, eating sweet corn sold on the beach, laughing.
Sometimes it tasted bitter to reminiscence, no matter how precious the memories may be.
But they weren’t all about his mother. Some of them, were about someone else. A guy, at that. A very dramatic, whiny, annoying guy. Kaoru stared at his feet. There was a certain someone he would come here with, in the more recent past. Someone he made precious memories with. Someone he wanted to keep making precious memories with. His chest felt heavy, but Kaoru kept walking.
He thought of how he taught him how to swim here. Not knowing how to swim, would be funny for your average guy, you would think, but he did not know how anyway. Kaoru let himself teach him, anyway.
He thought of how they’d shared their first kiss here, on the first night of spring. It was dark and the beach had adorned a palette of violets and cobalt, like skillfully painted oil on canvas. Yet in his memories, his skin was casting pearly shadows and his eyes were glowing a carnal tint of carmine. In his memories, his lips had been as soft as a mothers palm, yet in the present, all that was left was a grotesque mellowness in his mouth.
Kaoru looked up to gaze at the distance, feeling a sense of selfish security and cruel satisfaction, because no matter how messed up his mind would be, he was not as claustrophobic as the horizon.
———————
Kaoru washed his feet of sand in a small nearby fountain and got in his sandals again, this time heading home. The neighbourhood had gotten slightly busier, with much noise packed. Kaoru quickly climbed back up the asphalt poured streets, stomach rumbling as a reminder he had to prepare himself breakfast. On the way, a message popped up.
Rei: Good morning, Kaoru-kun
Rei: Perhaps if you happen to be free, would you like to have breakfast?
Speak of the devil. Did this guy have any telepathic abilities Kaoru had yet to know?
Kaoru: Breakfast where?
He sent the text with no effort. However, it took the vampire considerably long to type out another text.
Rei: At my house. I was about to prepare breakfast, but it seems I ran out of eggs. Can you grab some on the way?
This guy was unbelievable. Of course, it had to be an errand. Why would the great Sakuma ever invite Kaoru out of kindness? He quickly checked the time to see if the supermarket would be open by now. ‘It’s already past 8?’
Kaoru: Fine, I’ll get you your eggs. Be there in 20.
Rei: Be a dear and get me tomatoes, sausages and some wine also. Feel free to get whatever else you may want too~
Kaoru: Wine? What do you need wine for first thing in the morning?!?!?
Kaoru: I am not getting you wine
Rei: :-(
Kaorı: I want extra payment.
Rei: If that’s all Kaoru-kun wants, I’m sure we can figure something out~
Kaoru: Stop typing like that. I’ll get you your groceries
With that Kaoru locked and tucked his phone back in with a sigh.
He put his hands in his pockets, trailing the way to the supermarket while getting lost in thought. He paid no mind to his surroundings as he let his feet guide him through the streets and soon enough he saw the big sign of the market, softly entering the place.
Kaoru got himself a shopping basket and went towards the fruit and veggie aisle, where he saw that there weren’t many tomatoes left. Curiouser and curiouser, he did his best to pick fresher ones into a small plastic bag. He checked whether they had any hard spots to the stem (a trick his mother had taught him) and weighed them to make sure it didn’t exceed a kilogramme. (Hey, he had to carry those himself.)
His next stop was the meat department. Scanning the products, his eyes swiftly landed on the brand of sausages he used to eat as a kid. They were short, so that Kaoru’s mother could prepare octopus breakfasts for him. He supposed they would do fine, because Rei didn’t really specify a length in his grocery order. The next item he was tasked with, was eggs. He made sure to get a carton of the slightly more expensive, but organic ones. Tossing both items in his basket, Karou moved on to the alcohol section.
Now, at this point he was debating whether he should get the wine or not. Sometimes he wondered whether he was spoiling Rei too much by disagreeing with whatever he proposed and eventually ending up agreeing to it just as quickly.
Being a performer took a toll on Rei. He was always busy, had always a tad bit too much weight on his shoulders. Being successful came with its drawbacks, for sure, but that didn’t help how tired his eyes would be after each practice. As much as he would never admit it out of his own will, it hurt Kaoru to see him be torn apart.
Wine is finely deserved, he concluded and grabbed a singular bottle, heading to the register. He took his things out, and as he was laying them, the cashier immediately caught his attention.
Rich black hair down to her shoulders, curled and silky. Her skin was almost pale, soft and fair. Her cheeks were too pink, contrasting the rest of her face. Kaoru couldn’t see the colour of her eyes, because she was looking down as she scanned the items and pressed some keys. She was thin and had thinner, long fingers and a fairly old manicure. Her lashes were long, making the black pop out. Kaoru scanned her every feature in the split second he managed to get a glimpse.
She reminded him of someone else.
“That’ll be 3404 Yen, sir. Would you like a bag?”
“Yes, please.”
Even her voice sounded similar.
“Your total is 3407 Yen. Will that be cash or card?”
“Oh, card.”
Kaoru ended up paying some stupid impromptu amount in the morning, because of Rei. He quickly took his spare card from inside of his phone case, swiping it on the machine.
“Have a nice day,”
Tearing his eyes off the familiar silhouette of a stranger, Kaoru exited the supermarket, lowering his gaze as he got out on the road because the rising sun was bright. Not exactly aiming for his eyes yet, it wasn’t that high up, but the sky seemed brighter than it was when he first entered the place. Feeling a little bored (and maybe missing a certain person a little bit) Kaoru took out his phone to check for messages.
To his disappointment, there were no clingy messages asking him where he’d been. Even though this wasn’t a girlfriend, Kaoru couldn’t help but feel almost upset. Sometimes a guy could be longed for as much as a girlfriend, though, it wasn’t like Kaoru to admit that. The meaning of that sentence just happened to be more prominent today.
As his mind drifted off, his legs carried him to a familiar entryway. A large, red wooden door stood in between a few cute potted plants. The plate indicating the building number read “103”.
Kaoru pressed in the password he already had memorised and made his way in through the main door, calling an elevator. As expected, it was empty. Kaoru never really came across Rei’s neighbours that often.
He quickly pressed on the fifth floor, glancing at the mirror to fix himself up a little bit. As the elevator doors opened, he stepped outside and turned right to stop in front of a door labelled “505”. He rang the bell, taking a step back and standing straight with the bag in his hand.
———————
“Kaoru-kun! You got what I asked for! Here, come inside!”
An overly enthusiastic Rei greeted him by the door. Kaoru hummed, passing the grocery bag to him and leaning down to take off his shoes.
“Aww, you even got me my wine. This act of kindness surely calls for an adequate celebration, does it not?”
“Well, if I didn’t, a certain someone would talk my ear off all day long. Not the way I prefer to start my mornings.”
Kaoru made himself welcome, with Rei leading him in with the bag in hand. His flat was—not to his surprise—untidy, to say the least. Not messy, per se, but untidy.
“Why… why the hell do you have a… a fucking traffic cone in here??” Kaoru asked quizzically, because well, there it was, sitting idly in the middle of the room, like some sort of contemporary 21st century equivalent of an elephant. Rei liked abstract art, Kaoru knew, and frankly never thought anything of it. But as he just stood by the entrance his view of the room looked very much like an art piece. Hell, you could probably take a picture of this and edit the stupid guy out and submit it to some art competition and it’d probably be an honourable mention.
“I found it on the ground floor.”
“Inside the apartment?”
“Yes. And then I took it in.”
“Hm.”
“Do you not like it, Kaoru-kun.”
“No, no. It’s just not something I was expecting to see today.”
Rei smiled, making his way to the kitchen bar. His rich ass owned an american style, of course, so the living room and kitchen were combined. Which meant, the whole room smelled like Bloody Mary and wine year long. Kaoru let his feet carry him wherever.
As they were chatting, Rei was taking the groceries out of the bag and Kaoru chimed in to help. One word led to another and before realising, they were holding a conversation like normal. The table was cleaned, dishes and cutlery arranged, breakfast made ready.
“Let’s dig in!” Rei exclaimed happily.
As Kaoru sat down, he noticed he’d ended up doing all of the cooking by himself without realising, again, while Rei barely lifted a finger and just sat there prettily, mumbling some things to keep him busy. Wait, prettily? He absolutely did not look pretty. He looked more annoying , if anything, Kaoru concluded in his mind, and then it dawned on him that he should be upset.
“Not only do you make me get your groceries and pay for them, you make me prepare the entirety of the breakfast?! What am I, your maid?”
“Oho, if Kaoru-kun is offering, who am I to refuse~?” He grinned with that stupid smug look on his face that made Kaoru want to punch a permanent hole in it.
“No one is offering anything! Geez, you’re impossible. Why do I fall for the same trick every time?”
“But it is no trick, Kaoru-kun. We’re chatting and having breakfast, are we not? We’re having such a nice time. Would you rather spend your morning alone?”
“…I guess not.” He mumbled, disheartened.
“Thank you for the food.”
“Mhm.”
They both dug in, continuing to casually make talk. They talked about this and that, cleaned up the table and dishes, brewed some tea and flopped on the couch.
“Anything you would like to watch?” Rei asked quietly, hugging his legs.
“Not in particular,” the blond replied, “Whatever is fine with me.”
The vampire grabbed the remote and flicked the television on, browsing through a selection of movies and shows. It didn’t take too long for him to find something that caught his eye.
“Oh! Season two of Good Omens. I’ve been meaning to watch it for a while. Have you seen it yet?” Rei excitedly turned to Kaoru in anticipation, which almost looked cute. Keyword being almost.
“Not yet. I just watched the first season with you.”
“But I thought you liked it? You watch so many shows. I thought you’d surely finish it by yourself.”
“Well, yeah but…” the blond suddenly averted his gaze, playing with his hair. “I know you like it. Didn’t wanna watch without you.”
“Oh.”
Apparently, catching him by the surprise would cause the vampire’s cheeks to adorn a very pretty shade of red. Because that was the only logical conclusion Kaoru’s flustered brain could accept at that moment. If there were another reason Rei was blushing, Kaoru chose to ignore it.
“Let me bring the tea over. Then we can start our season two marathon.” Rei immediately changed his expression, looking as silly as ever. Weird, Kaoru thought yet it made his stomach warm. And he hadn’t even taken a sip of tea yet.
———————
Their little marathon was, distracting, to say the least. Not that Kaoru didn’t like the show. He did, in fact he wanted his full attention to be on the television. But for whatever reason, that task proved to be particularly harder today.
The show wasn’t distracting. Rei was.
He was sitting right next to the blond. They were sharing a couch, after all. Naturally, they were close. Kaoru could make do with that. Normally, anyways. But today was not part of his normals.
The constant touching of their shoulders, the sound of Rei’s breaths, the vibrations of his limbs, the warmth of his tired skin, the scent of his powdery shampoo, the velvety sound of his voice… These were all regular things. They were supposed to be regular. Because they happened all the time. They weren’t anything special, they were ordinary. They were supposed to be. But somehow, today, all of these stuck out to Kaoru maybe a little bit too much.
When their knees made contact through fabric, Kaoru couldn’t help but lose his focus. He was staring at the screen, laying back and sipping tea as if it were any regular day, but really all he had on his mind was how close they were. For some reason, all he could think about was the proximity of their bodies. Not one dialogue, they all went in one ear and out the other.
Sometimes, Rei would come closer to him, unintentionally. Kaoru would fling his arm around him, and he would almost instinctively respond by snuggling closer to the blond’s body. Sometimes, Rei would wrap an arm around his back, grabbing his waist and Kaoru would let him. He would let him, because, they’d been doing this for years. It was normal, right?
Kaoru did his best to not stare at Rei for the whole day.
“Hey, Kaoru?”
“Mmm?”
“Want to switch to wine?”
“Sure.” He agreed, naively. Strangely enough it didn’t cross his mind that his wine tolerance wasn’t exactly high. If it crossed Rei’s mind, he kept his mouth shut.
It didn’t help the internal debate Kaoru had been having with himself since the morning.
Because now, Kaoru couldn’t even comprehend a single word. All of his focus was solely and purely on their bodies. Whenever they’d touch. Whenever they’d share warmth. He didn’t even know what episode they were on. His eyes were staring at the screen, but his mind was elsewhere. Definitely somewhere it did not belong. Especially not right now.
And then, just as he thought things couldn’t get more complicated, it did. Rei suddenly put his head on Kaoru’s shoulder. This guy, he really was unbelievable. At least, that’s what a perfectly sober and normal Kaoru would say. But this Kaoru, he didn’t remember how high the alcohol tolerance of this bastard was. This Kaoru, he didn’t notice the bastard was doing it on purpose. All his senses told him was that he put his head on Kaoru’s shoulder and that was that.
If he could gather his thoughts and clear his mind, maybe he would even feel Rei’s pulse. But right now, if his mind could be described as anything, it would probably be like that damned traffic cone in the middle of the room. But the little sobriety left in his veins was fixated on a certain vampire right now. Not that Kaoru got drunk on a few glasses of wine. If he were a bit more honest with himself, he’d have realised what he got drunk on was something much, much sweeter than wine.
The show was still playing, and damn, it was a pretty exciting scene too, but Rei wasn’t exactly focused on it either. For a moment he closed his eyes, letting himself sink into the blond’s embrace. He felt guilty, for putting the boy in such a situation. Rei was selfishly aware of what he was doing. But if it meant he could stay like that just a little longer… then maybe it was okay. Just a little longer, he would bathe in his scent, sink deeper into his skin, unify with his flesh. If to find solace in a boy was damnation, he would rather be forsaken than purged. If to pretend everything’s ordinary was the only way to stay close…
———————
The stars were shining beautifully tonight. The sky had donned her silk black robes, embedded with small precious stones, their lives devoted to make her shine. And the moon hung in a graceful crescent shape. She wore silver, with edges as sharp and refined as a gem, a pattern as mesmerising as the face of a mother. They greeted each other, as they had been doing every night, since the creation of time.
Kaoru and Rei laid down as they ran crazily through grass. There was nobody but them around, stripping the fields of their frighteningly adult atmosphere. They were giggling and smiling like little kids, holding hands and looking at the stars. For a moment all of his worries were gone and Kaoru felt like he was flying. Comfort washed over his body, his head felt lighter, and his heart felt lighter. Maybe it was the wine. Maybe it was the exhaustion. Maybe it was something (someone) else entirely. It didn’t matter. His mom kissed him on the forehead. For the first time in a while, he was truly free.
Kaoru turned around to face Rei. He held both of his hands in his own. He moved closer, letting their foreheads touch and noses brush. And then he did something he never thought he deserved to do.
A chaste kiss was planted on the vampire’s lips, as he pulled back but a few centimetres. Looking at the blond with hazy eyes, he grabbed his cheek and kissed him softly again.
Wine certainly didn’t have anything on Rei’s lips.
Kaoru stared into the vampire’s eyes intently. Neither of them were stable enough to make out what the other was feeling. Their drunkenness had more to do with dysregulation in the heart, rather than the body. Kaoru kissed him again. Each time he kissed, it felt sweeter. It was honeyed, it was addicting. But for the first time, it was not dangerous. It felt right. It felt tranquil. It felt serene, and Kaoru was okay with it.
He kissed him one more time. Then clung onto his torso, burying his face in the crook of his neck. Kaoru fell asleep like that, and Rei carried him to bed sometime later.
When he woke up, Kaoru would maybe pretend it never happened. Maybe, he would stop coming over to Rei’s. But he was too sleepy to be thinking that far. He tucked Kaoru into his bed, and chose to sleep on the couch for tonight.