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He was so bored he couldn't even allow himself to sleep. He desperately wanted something to do, anything at all. His restlessness was so severe he even got to cleaning the house, moping the floor, washing the dishes, organizing his wardrobe.
He was not used to an empty home anymore, and with Hinata being away on a mission for a little over a month, he felt annoyed and easily unsettled by the boredom.
He was used to her, his wife, laughing at his antics and letting herself be held by him. Used to her fingers in his hair, her chest against his own, her lips over his.
They had been married for a year and two months, and he experienced a kind of happiness he had never before in his life. He never even dreamed of having this.
Now that he had it, ir was hard to deal with the possibility of losing it. He tried to be reasonable because his wife often was. It wasn't a dangerous mission and she wasn't alone. But he had so much fear regardless, of receiving awful news one of these mornings, of staring down at her lifeless body with the thought of not being there to protect her from whatever hurt her.
He had nightmares about losing Hinata, ever since before they were married. From the moon incident, he never stopped having them. Dreams about her leaving him, dreams about her moving on before he could figure out his feelings, dreams about her being hurt, dreams about her dying alone with no one to help.
With that, too, he usually had her there to soothe his worries. Call him silly, kiss his eyelids, smooth his shirt with her hands, smile against his lips. She was so sweet he couldn't believe she ever allowed herself to want him.
So he was aware there was some inferiority complex playing at it too. He never felt deserving of her, and the irrational fear of losing her was always fed by it.
He threw his head back against the sofa, sighing in agony at the intrusive thoughts he had allowed himself to have. He closed his eyes, frustrated and anguished, wishing he could fall asleep until Hinata was back. Until she was home with him.
A few minutes passed, and his eyes snapped open when he heard heavy knocks on his front door.
He got up in a hurry, not bothering to check before opening it. He came face to face with one of the ANBU agents, dressed in the very recognizable and characteristic uniform.
"Uzumaki Naruto." The woman greeted him formally. He felt his blood run cold, a bad feeling taking over his senses. "Tsunade-sama asks you to go to the hospital in the center of Konoha."
"Why?" He asked quickly, feeling his hearbeat picking up.
"She asks for me to warn you not to worry too much, she means it when she says it's nothing serious." The woman put it carefully, but with her eyes behind her mask she could see it did nothing to ease his worries. She sighed, choosing to get it over with. "It's your wife. She's back, at the hospital with Tsunade-sama."
"Her mission was supposed to last three months. What happened to her?" He couldn't really control his tone anymore. He knew he was basically screaming, but that was the best he could offer.
"Not for me to say. I'm sorry, I'm just the messenger–"
Before she could finish, he got past her in a flash, the door to his house closing behind him with a loud thud.
He ran to the hospital faster than he ever did in his life, feeling his hair stick to his forehead once he reached the front door, all eyes on him and some voices referring to him but he could barely understand what they were saying.
"Where's granny Tsunade?" He asked to a bunch of wide eye nurses and doctors, until a small men with green eyes took him by the forearm, guiding down the corredor. He didn't protest but kept looking around, prying the open rooms to see if he could find Granny or his wife. "I'm looking for–"
"I know. I'm taking you to them." The tiny man didn't even bother looking back, just get dragging him along. Not that Naruto was complaining, he had no time for small talk.
"Thank you." He reminded himself of saying.
He came to a stop suddenly, arriving at a closed door. He let go of Naruto's arm, nodding towards the lock.
"You can go in. Tell Tsunade to call if she needs anything." The man was gone before he could thank him again, and he just stormed through the door without thinking much of it.
He came face to face with a small room, but meant for just one patient, a big bed with white sheets and a small sofa next to it where Tsunade was sitting and talking in a low voice he was not used to hearing from her. His eyes traveled to the bed where his wife was laying on, cheek against the pillow, looking a little pale but seemingly not hurt. She even had a small smile on her face while looking at Tsunade, and it only grew when she saw Naruto.
"Hinata." He let out like a sob before running to her, ignoring Tsunade's protest while he trapped his wife on his arms. She hugged her in a firm but gentle embrace, inhaling deeply, feeling his chest warm up at the feeling of her body again.
"Don't ever run inside my hospital again, you devil child." He heard Tsunade curse at him, but not without humor. He made a noise to acknowledge her but couldn't let go of Hinata. He had felt so desperate when he heard her name next to hospital. It was like living one of his nightmares.
"I was so worried, Hinata." He heard the noise of the door closing, and imagined Tsunade had left to give them some privacy. He made a mental note to thank her for everything later.
"I'm okay. It's okay." He felt her hands coming behind his back to caress it up and down, a nurturing motion that had him climbing the bed with her.
He held her against his chest, her head coming to rest under his chin. He knew he was probably being too clingy, too much, not giving space for her to talk or even look at him. But he was still so shaken from it all, it was if as soon as she let her go she would disappear.
"I mean it, I'm fine. Not one scratch." She said as if reading his thoughts.
He removed his chin from the top of her head, leaning back as he held her in his arms, studying her face.
She was breathtakingly beautiful, her pearly eyes mesmerizing him as always, her features making him spend long moments admiring how everything made sense, how the composition of every part of her created something so enchanting.
She was everything he loved most in the world, everything he needed to keep close forever. Losing her was as inconceivable as living without a heart.
"Why did you come back so early from the mission? Something must have happened. Where are the others?" He asked, still fearful.
"They're still on the mission." She smiled as if she knew a secret. Her eyes were soft and glazy. "Emiko was there with me too, as you know. And when she used her byakugan to make sure we could reach The Land of Waves on time, she ended up laying her eyes on me and...Realizing something." She left it at that, eyes dropping to her own hands clasped together between them.
He took her hands and held them instead, pulling her closer to him on the bed. "What, Hinata?"
Her eyes found his, as he was taken aback by the tears forming there. Strangely enough, she looked radiant.
"I'm pregnant."
The words echoed on his brain for a moment. He couldn't make sense of it as direct as her phrasing was. She was pregnant. There was life growing inside her body, life they both created.
He, Naruto Uzumaki, was going to be someone's father. He couldn't believe.
"Naruto?" Her hand found his cheek, the contact making him feel even more vulnerable. "I know it wasn't planned or anything, I was just as surprised but I–"
She cut her off by kissing her, kissing her with all he could muster to make sense of what he was feeling, since words could fail him. He held her waist, thumbs peeking towards her stomach covered by the blouse she was wearing.
She pulled back. "Naruto–" He kissed her again, and again, and again, until she had to hold his shoulders. "Baby. How do you feel? We need to talk about it."
She was right, he knew he needed to make promises and guarantees and be a good functioning husband but he was sure he would choke as soon as he tried speaking. He was feeling too much for it to make sense.
"I love you." Was what he could let out, what was reasonable and true to him, always. She smiled gently. "I love you so much. Thank you...Thank you for making me a...A father." The word felt so foreign, so disconnected from him at that moment. He had so much to digest.
"I love you too." She rested her forehead agaisnt his, hands going up his arms. He could do nothing to stop the tears falling down his cheeks or the noises coming out from trying to hold the sobs in. She didn't comment on anything, his rubbed their noses together with a giggle.
"They will grow up with all the love you have to offer. You don't need to worry about anything. Even if...When...We make mistakes, they will always be loved." She promised, finding the words instead, something she was always great at. His wife, his rock, always finding reason. Always guiding him towards the light, even before they were anything more than friends.
"I will give you and them all I have. Always." He promised back, and for a moment, they were still and everything in the world was too.