Chapter Text
"Hey, Soul, I'm going to the Mix universe for a little bit! B-Mix said that he had something for me there or whatever. I'll be back soon, okay? Don't destroy the place!"
"What, do you not trust me?~"
"魂..."
"Alright, alright, I'm just messing with you. Just don't miss me too much, yeah?"
"Oh, ha ha. I won't be long, don't have too much fun without me!"
...That had been, what, only 15- maybe 20 minutes ago?
Boyfriend hadn’t been back since then.
Though, he never really specified how long he’d be gone anyway, so one could simply chalk that up to him wanting to catch up and chat with his alternate self.
It’d been a while since he had last been to the Mix universe, after all.
In any case - Soul wasn’t really all that worried.
Sure, it was another universe entirely that he’d gone to, but he’d done this a bunch of times already. There was still no real reason for him to be worrying.
Even though that was part of his job. Funny.
The REAL challenge ended up being trying to find ways to pass the time, however.
He went from flipping through TV channels (which sucked because nothing good ever played in the evening), to just lounging around on the couch, to playing guitar and writing whatever random music ideas popped into his head...
Pretty much anything that would keep him from getting extremely bored.
He’d considered going into Hating Sim, but last the two heard earlier that day, Senpai was going to be running some updates to the game, and Soul didn’t want to be the one to disrupt that in case he was running them currently.
So, having BF’s place to himself until the rapper returned was his only option.
Of course, this was far from the first time that he’d been left alone while Boyfriend went off to do something in an alternate universe.
He found ways to keep himself busy all of those times.
What made this time any different?
Still, he wasn’t sure how much longer he’d repeated those same activities for, still waiting for his friend to come back.
But it’d been around half an hour and now he was still here. Waiting.
Frankly, he really couldn’t help but wonder - what was taking him so long?
Of course, he’d thought of some reasons why BF was in there for as long as he was... mostly relating to him knowing that BF tended to catch up with his other selves if he hadn’t seen them in a long time.
Plus, it HAD been a while since he last visited his Mix self.
He let out a sigh, sitting up from where he’d been laying across the couch and muttering to himself.
"It's fine, Soul. He's fine. They're probably just... talking. Nothing's wrong, he'll be okay. ...You know he will."
...He wasn't sure if his own attempted reassurance was helping or not.
And he had no idea why he was getting a little concerned now.
It could be the slight uneasiness that he was feeling and couldn’t figure out the source of, or something else.
Either way, the only thing he was really able to do at this point was sit around and wait for him to come back. There was - in all honesty - no viable way he could actually follow after BF and see what was truly going on over there.
He had already taken the orb just to open a portal to get himself there, and going to Girlfriend’s place was way too much of a risk for painfully obvious reasons.
So, back to doing whatever kept him occupied it was.
As well as hoping he was worrying over nothing and BF was actually doing just fine, but that wasn’t as important.
Honestly, maybe it should’ve been a little more important.
Whatever, BF had been unharmed in other universes before. And even if something happened, he’d have the other version of him to help. He would be okay.
They were both going to be fine.
...But it wasn’t until a few minutes later when Soul got up from the couch to take a break from writing music that he started to feel... off.
And not emotionally, no.
He couldn’t pinpoint why or where it was coming from, but he definitely couldn’t deny how weird he was physically starting to feel.
It wasn’t much, but there was a very faint dull ache in his chest that he knew wasn’t supposed to be there.
Why? Why was this suddenly happening to him, and why now, long after BF had already left?
He stopped to think for a moment, trying to figure out the cause of the sudden discomfort.
The two were currently in different universes at the moment, so was it possibly because of just how separated he and Boyfriend were from each other right now...?
No. ...No, it couldn’t be that.
BF had gone to some of the alternate universes without him before - for even longer than he was gone right now - and he was okay then.
So what the hell was going on right now...?
Was it something with that specific universe?
Or was it just him not reacting well to not knowing exactly what BF was doing that was making him take so long?
None of it made sense.
Absolutely nothing made sense about it and he’d be lying if he said it wasn’t driving him crazy.
But... there was one possibility, one that he truly never wanted his mind to go to.
If he was being honest, it was as terrifying as it was plausible.
After all, usually if something was happening to him, then it was happening to BF as well.
He’s supposed to be safe over there, though.
Well... he had no way of knowing if Boyfriend was in any sort of danger.
But no- if he WAS in danger, he’d still be able to feel that he was nervous, or afraid, or something.
That obviously didn’t add up.
And it didn’t exactly leave him with a good answer for what was happening to him, either.
With another sigh, Soul went back to trying to stay preoccupied with whatever other ideas he had in mind, but that sensation, along with his worries, refused to leave his train of thought fully.
...It was going to be fine, surely. Maybe this was just temporary for whatever reason. Some weird side effect of that specific universe, now that the two had spent this much time apart from each other like this. Or whatever interference between universes was fussing with their connection was the culprit.
Admittedly, those options were far from satisfying answers.
But it was good enough.
For him at least.
...Just for a little while. Until BF came back.
Soul released the breath he’d been holding, walking back to the couch and laying across it.
Maybe... maybe he was just a little tired and this was a weird way of realizing that.
He was pretty sure he’d just laid there on the verge of dozing off for only a few minutes before he heard the sudden turning of the doorknob nearby.
As he looked up, he saw BB of all people step through the now-open door.
"Hey, bro!"
Getting past his surprise, Soul quickly responded.
"BB? What are you doing here? You know Bee's out right now, right?"
"Yeah, I know. But I guess the ghosts heard me complaining about getting forcefully woken up by them all the time and decided to bother Armaros instead. When I woke up earlier, he was calling me for like, the fifth time, and he’s saying that they were sensing something was off and so they got worried about you. Figured I should probably come check on you guys after that."
"Oh... that's all?"
"Mhm. Honestly, from the sounds of it, I guess it was kinda starting to make Angel Freak worry about you both too, so that's at least part of why I decided to stop by. You feeling okay?"
Soul gave a slight scoff at that, but still smiled at him.
"Okay as I'll ever be."
"Huh?"
"I- nothing. Just joking around, eheh. I'm alright, I promise."
BB nodded in response, before looking around the unfinished sheet music littered around him.
"Yiiiiikes... music block again? Hopefully you didn’t end up destroying any of your guitars in the meantime, dude."
Despite how out of sorts he was currently feeling, Soul couldn’t help but let out a laugh at that, with BB laughing along with him.
"Nah, I've just been here on the couch. Been on and off with the songwriting so far."
"Damn. Been there before. Any particular reason, or do you just miss Bee?"
"Ehhh... that and jumping between a lot of different things all from just trying to keep myself busy tends to wear you down a bit. I was mostly just getting bored, though."
The other nodded again in understanding this time.
"Yeah, I definitely feel that too. Especially since you kinda have the whole place to yourself right now. But that’s gotta be at least a little fun, doesn’t it?"
"True, it's not exactly like I'm complaining. I'm just finding it a bit hard for things to really keep my attention long enough for me to NOT feel bored."
"Hah, that's probably the ADHD if I'm being honest. But at least you haven't been too bored."
Soul just shrugged at that.
"It's whatever. Right now I'm just glad to see you."
"Hm. ...How long has it been again since he left?"
"Somewhere close to 30 minutes, maybe. Why?"
BB seemed to think for a few seconds, before he lit up, seemingly having gotten an idea.
"Well, I don't really see a problem with keeping you company for a while! I can even help you finish that song of yours if you want?"
Soul paused, considering the offer for a moment.
It would definitely be nice to spend time with someone else instead of trying to just endure even more time by himself...
But on the other hand, he was still feeling weird, and he had a feeling that it wouldn’t be worth it for BB to find out about it if it really turned out to be nothing at all.
At least, that’s what he wanted to believe.
However, if BB speaking up again to get his attention was any indication, he’d been thinking about this for just a little too long.
"Whatcha thinking so hard for? It's a free offer to hang out with your bro, dude! You sure you're good?"
Soul looked up at BB again, giving him a thumbs up and a reassuring smile.
"Yeah, sorry, heh- you can stick around, I don't have a problem with it, either."
"Sweet!" And as soon as he’d said that, he came to an instant realization- "I didn’t exactly think to bring my guitar with me though... Didn’t know that's what you would be doing when I got here."
"Pff- just borrow one of mine, dummy."
BB rolled his eyes at the playful nicknaming, walking over to the sound room to do so.
What followed was a long pause after Soul heard the door to the room open.
"...Dude, you have a shit ton of guitars in here!"
He couldn’t help but laugh a little again at the mix of surprise, amazement, and sheer horror in the older sibling’s voice.
"Take your pick."
—
After a few moments, the two brothers were back on the couch, in the middle of songwriting.
"Man, I really don’t get how you’re so fast at coming up with new stuff like this, dude. Seriously, even I would’ve taken forever just to create riffs like these."
"That's what having an entire playlist full of inspiration is for~"
"Just because you bring that up, I’m willing to bet you listen to it 24/7."
"Hey!"
"Haha! I’m just messing with you, man. But really, you definitely must be listening to that playlist a lot to be constantly writing this kind of stuff."
"Well, not ALL of what I write is inspired by what I listen to. Some of it comes from Bee also."
"Yeah, I figured. Speaking of him... he got any snacks that I can raid? Last thing I picked up for lunch was only a burger, so I could totally go for something to eat. Sorry to ask otherwise."
"Mmm... I could let you steal some of his chips as long as you don't blame me...~"
With a slight snicker, BB stood up from where he sat on the couch, placing the guitar in his hands to rest against it.
"It's a deal, little bro!"
While BB walked over to search Boyfriend’s kitchen for the aforementioned chips, Soul turned his attention back to the music the two had been working on. At the very least, he had something that could hold his attention now.
And yet... that ache in his chest wasn’t going away.
In fact, he’s pretty sure that it was responsible for the “off” feeling that was currently ravaging his body at the moment.
It only gave him more questions about what the hell was happening with him.
Sighing, he set his guitar to rest against the couch and laid down, trying to take deep breaths in an attempt to take his focus off the discomfort.
This had to go away at some point, didn’t it? He was sure BF wasn’t in any actual danger. And if he was, he’d know...
...Wouldn’t he?
He found himself so caught up in his thoughts that he didn’t even hear BB walk back into the room.
And apparently, he’d probably been with him for a bit now, seeing as he already had the guitar he’d borrowed back in his hands, and was eyeing him with just a bit of unease.
"Yo, Soul! You alright, dude?"
He hesitated for just a moment, trying not to raise any suspicion - he still didn’t want to make BB worry if this really was nothing to even worry about.
"F-Fine."
Goddammit.
"Are you sure? You stuttered."
Soul shook his head and pulled himself up from where he’d been laying on the couch to sit directly next to him, but even that had taken a little more effort than usual.
"I'm okay. Come on, let's just... get back to finishing the music."
"...You know you're allowed to tell me anything, right bro?"
He went silent after that.
It’d be nice to talk about it, but, on the other hand, he didn’t want to be the cause of any unnecessary concern.
Maybe, if he exaggerated that it wasn’t that big of a deal...
"Yeah, yeah, I know, I just..." Taking a brief moment to suck in a breath, his words tumbled out before he could really stop them- "I didn't want you to worry or anything."
"What's going on?"
Well, cat's out of the bag now. Might as well spill the rest, right?
He sighed again.
It was going to be fine. This was technically his big brother he was talking to.
...He could tell him, couldn't he?
"I don't exactly know- i-it's nothing BAD, at least- I don't think, but- I've been feeling kind of... weird lately."
BB frowned a bit out of concern, but listened on intently.
"'Weird'? Weird how?"
"I- well- my chest feels a little funny, and I feel sort of... weak, almost? I don't know exactly how to put it, but I just don't really feel... right."
"That... can't be good. Should we get you to Bee?"
"No... no. It'll be okay. I'm sure it's just temporary... not like I was around like this the last time he'd gone into Mix, you know?"
"So... you're convinced that this is just some weird side effect or something?"
"Probably."
And besides, he didn't really want to rush over to BF if he really was trying to catch up with someone he considered a good friend at the moment.
BB, though, was visibly unsure about that answer.
"Do you think you’re feeling like this because something happened to him? He’s been gone a while, what if he’s in danger??"
Seeing that he was starting to panic slightly, Soul was quick to cut him off.
"BB, I'm sure I would've sensed any sort of off feelings from him if he was, even though we're across universes. Plus, he'd have his other self to help him out of whatever danger he could be in... I just thought those two were probably still talking, eheh. He hasn't gone into that particular universe for a long while, so I only assumed that they were still catching up."
"I guess that's fair... but, you can't really deny how strange it is that he's been there for so long just 'catching up'. ...Are you really sure you're going to be okay?"
He paused for a moment, but eventually let the words out anyway.
"Well, you never know, it might just be a really long conversation... But- yeah. I'm sure. Don't worry about me, it's probably nothing anyway."
BB stared at him for a moment with uncertainty, before eventually letting out a breath and nodding.
"Alright. As long as you're sure, man."
The two smiled at each other, picking up their guitars again.
However, BB took the opportunity to glance around at the ghosts nearby - their worried looks weren’t going away.
But still, Soul himself had said everything would be fine... so why wouldn’t he believe him?
"Yo! BB! You still with me here?"
The older brother looked over at the soul, who was holding up his guitar with a small smug smile on his face.
He smirked right back, and the two went back to work on the song.
They continued working on the music for a little while before eventually deciding it was enough for the night, lest BF come back to be riddled with noise complaints since they weren’t in the sound room.
However, BB did have something else to take care of while he was still hanging out here.
While Soul went to put the guitar BB borrowed back in its proper place, the latter took the opportunity to speak with some of the ghosts from earlier.
Making sure Soul was out of earshot, he called for them and a few appeared in front of him as he began to whisper-yell.
"What's with the faces, what are you guys so concerned about? He just told me personally he'd be alright!"
'Are you certain?'
'What if he's lying?'
'Do you really believe him?'
BB groaned in exasperation.
"I don't get it... why are you guys trying to claim that something is wrong, but then not even tell me what it is??"
'We're not sure...'
'But we can feel it.'
'Just trust us.'
Rolling his eyes, BB sat back on the couch.
He wasn't going to get straight answers out of them, was he?
Meanwhile, in the sound room, Soul had just put the guitar back where BB had gotten it from - he swore that he could very faintly hear talking from outside the room, but figured that it was probably those ghosts his older sibling always talked to.
He was already walking to the door when the ache in his chest briefly became a bit more pronounced, forcing him to stop to catch his breath against the wall for a moment.
God, all of this was so confusing.
He didn’t want to take too long though... BB was already worried enough thanks to actually telling him what was happening.
It took him a few moments to gather himself enough to walk back out of the room, and he flopped onto the couch with a sigh, earning a laugh out of BB.
"Tired already?"
"Heh... a bit, yeah."
"Alright, alright. Get some rest. You sound like you need it. I think I’m gonna take off now anyway, though, dude."
"Aw, already?"
"Trust me, bro, I’d love to stay for a bit longer, but I really gotta get all these ghosts to stop worrying about you, and it’s probably better to let you get the rest anyway, if you want it. I’m sure Keith will be back soon."
"Okay, fineeeee... just make sure you actually get some damn rest tonight too, you night owl."
"No promises, man, you know that!"
The two shared a small laugh, before giving each other a wave and BB walked out of the door.
The boredom was quick to hit again.
Plus, being left alone with his thoughts again right now - and, given what was still currently happening to him - was honestly kind of one of the last things that Soul needed at this point.
So, back to doing a bunch of random stuff it was... or, he could actually take BB’s suggestion and try to sleep it off.
It could probably do him some amount of good anyway. Boyfriend would probably come back while he was sleeping and either he’d wake up with the rapper next to him... or he’d choose violence and wake Soul up himself.
Either way, he wouldn’t really mind. As long as he wasn’t feeling like this anymore once he woke up, it would all be okay.
Slowly, his eyes fell closed, and he drifted off into sleep...
...Only for the lurking discomfort in his body to almost forcefully wake him up about five minutes later.
He really just couldn’t catch a break, could he?
The cycle just continued to repeat after that, with him managing to feel sleepy enough to try falling into slumber again a few minutes later, only for a few more minutes to pass and he ended up waking up again, no thanks to the aching in his chest.
He’d gone through it several times before deciding it just wasn’t worth it anymore, and eventually getting up.
Fine, he could deal with this a little longer. It wasn’t the worst he’d been put through. A little discomfort never stopped him anyway.
Moving away from the couch and into the kitchen to just grab a snack in preparation to throw on reruns of whatever TV show that he felt like watching, Soul started looking around to see what he could actually grab.
He went through some stuff in the cupboards, even eyeing a few senbei boxes that the two stored in the back, but nothing really jumped out at him.
Nothing from the fridge, either. Really, he'd checked that one more than once.
...Okay, great, now he was stuck in a dreaded cycle of opening and closing the damn fridge forever. This is what his life has come to.
Groaning, he stepped back from the compartments and was really about to settle for just grabbing a random bag of chips and living with it.
At least, until a sudden, sharp sting of pain shot from his chest through the rest of his body, the shock from which left him shaking a small bit even as the pain subsided.
"Wh-what the... f-fuck...??"
His hands tightly gripped the countertop as he focused on trying to stabilize himself again.
And his concern increased tenfold.
What was with the sudden pain? Was his condition worsening? ...Was Boyfriend actually hurt, or worse?
All questions he didn’t have immediate answers to, and he hated it.
He’d finally stopped shaking, and that let him move to sit on the couch once more.
Even if there was something happening to him... he’d have a really hard time trying to figure out how to go after BF into that universe to help. And in the state he was in now? He might as well be more of a liability if there was something dangerous going on there.
He just... had to wait and hope for Boyfriend to come back, and they could figure this out.
It’d been over 30 minutes at this point, however, and he wasn’t sure how much longer it was going to be until his friend returned.
Not to mention, even the pain itself didn't feel... normal.
He couldn't exactly place why, or what made it feel that way, but... he still had a bad feeling about it.
On the bright side, though... at least the pain wasn’t actually constant. It had faded away ever since it suddenly struck earlier and hadn’t come back. So maybe it wasn’t going to get worse, and once again, he was worrying over nothing.
Sure, he couldn’t deny that he was feeling off...
But at least he could be even a little certain that it wasn’t going to last forever.
A few more minutes passed by in boredom, mostly spent by Soul just lounging around on the couch again, before he heard a knock on the door, and a voice on the other side.
"Hey, Bee! Ya back yet? I gotta talk to ya!"
Carefully, Soul got off the couch and stood up before walking over to the door and opening it - as he expected, Pico was on the other side, and he seemed rather surprised that Soul had been the one to answer the door.
"Oh, hey DragonForce."
"Hey yourself, Guns N' Roses. So, what's up? What'd you come by for?"
"Just needed to talk to Bee about dumb date plans and whatnot. Gigi was apparently texting the group chat earlier about it, and we haven’t heard from him, so I came to see if he was just here sleeping. Buuuut I guess he’s still not back."
"Unfortunately for the both of us, nope."
"Damn. How long's he even been gone for by now?"
"I dunno, I think at least half an hour. Probably longer than that."
Pico hummed in response, before looking back up at him.
"Mind if I come in?"
"I don't see why not."
Soul opened the door fully, allowing Pico to walk inside before closing it behind him.
"It’s kinda weird, to be honest with ya. He doesn’t usually take this long to visit a universe. I thought he was just picking something up?"
"Yeah, that's what I thought, too. But I already sort of convinced myself that he was just having a chat to catch up with B-Mix."
"Ehhhh... Fair enough, I suppose. We both know he tends to do that with versions of himself that he hasn’t seen in a while. I don’t really mind chillin’ here until he comes back."
"You sure about that? Given how long he's already been out, he might be a little while longer."
"Wouldn't be the first time. Besides, I got a lotta time to wait."
"Pfft- fair enough."
"...So, what’ve ya been up to? I can imagine it gets hella boring around here when you’re home by yourself like this."
"Mhm. I've mostly just been trying to keep myself occupied with whatever ever since then. BB came by a little while ago, but that's really about all the company I've had in here. So it is kinda nice to see you."
"Likewise."
Pico looked back up at the TV as he pulled out his phone.
"Anything good on?"
"Not as far as I'm concerned."
The mercenary couldn’t stop himself from snickering a bit at that, and he began scrolling through the channels to search for anything to watch.
"You're gonna have a hard time finding something interesting, you know that?"
"I'll take my damn chances."
Soul rolled his eyes with a slight laugh as he watched Pico from a small distance behind the couch.
However, the ache in his chest reared its head and forced its way back into his thoughts again, and something immediately dawned on him.
Just like with BB, it was nice to have someone around so that he wasn't here being bored by himself, but he was really running the risk of his current condition being discovered. It was getting harder and harder to convince himself that it truly was nothing to waste any worry on.
Come on, he could hold out a little longer, couldn't he?
He was supposed to be stronger than this, dammit.
And plus, Pico was really observant. If he wasn't careful, the ginger would know something was up with him anyway.
He quietly took a deep breath, trying to take his focus off of the discomfort in his body.
That was when he looked back at the couch to see Pico on the phone.
Well, "on the phone" was subjective. It appeared the line was still ringing.
A few moments later, he muttered something in frustration, taking the phone off his ear as he turned to look back at him.
"Let me guess. You were trying to call Bee?"
"Yeah. Either him being in another universe is somehow messing with the call, or he's just plain not answering."
The "I'm a bit concerned now" went unspoken, but Soul could easily tell it was there.
"I'm sure he's fine, Pico."
"Not like we can really prove that. But there isn't anything happening to you, so... I take it as proof enough, I guess."
Oh, if only he knew.
Still, Soul just gave him a nod.
"True."
Pico nodded back with a smile, and turned back around to face the TV.
And once again, Soul could feel that ache in his chest starting to act up again.
With a sigh, he began walking over to the sound room, Pico calling after him.
"Where ya goin'?"
"Just to blow off some steam. I'll be back, don't worry."
"...Alright."
Satisfied with the answer, he entered the room and closed the door behind him, and it wasn't too long after that that Pico began to hear the sound of his guitar shredding.
He couldn't help but give a small smile. It made sense that Soul was eventually going to go do that while he was here.
But to be honest... he was getting rather concerned about BF.
Nothing had ever happened to him in alternate universes before, but he knew better than anyone that it wasn't a reason to not be prepared for the worst.
And with the rapper now not picking up his phone...
...Well, he shouldn't exactly jump to conclusions. After all, like he'd just said, Soul was fine.
So that had to mean that Boyfriend was okay, too, didn't it?
He sighed, resigning himself to go back to watching the crime show he'd put on earlier.
...Boyfriend was probably fine.
Soul found himself trailing to the same line of thought - except he didn't have that easy of an answer.
The aching in his chest hadn't gone away since it started, the rest of his body still felt far from okay, and he had no idea what that was saying about BF and his safety.
Essentially, he'd be lying if he said he wasn't worried.
Because he was.
But there wasn't anything he could do about it.
For a brief moment, though, he ended up thinking about what Pico had said earlier.
About nothing happening to him.
Heh. That was as far as he could see.
Either way, though... would it really be worth it if he tried to keep hiding it?
On one hand, given enough time Pico would figure it out anyway. But on the other... again, what good was telling him if it led to unnecessary worry?
He hadn't managed to convince himself that Boyfriend was really okay for nothing, after all. There was a reason for that.
...Although... he slowly began to realize that he hadn't been feeling relatively anything from Boyfriend at ALL... and he didn't know whether to be worried or not.
Because either everything was going well on his end, or something was seriously wrong.
The latter of which he wasn't sure if he really wanted to believe that or not.
No, wait, this was Boyfriend he was talking about. He's fine. If he were in danger, he'd have his Mix counterpart helping, and either way, he could be taking a long time for a number of reasons.
He'd be back, he'd be okay, and they could figure out what was going on with Soul together.
Like they always did.
Despite the discomfort he was feeling, he could hide it. He was strong enough.
Pico didn't have to know if it wasn't a problem.
Not like it was getting worse anyway... just increasingly unbearable as time went on.
But he could stand it. He's been through much worse.
Soul stifled back a wince as the aching flared to life again, his back still against the wall - he could take it. It was barely even painful, he could take it.
Wait- when did he even sit down?
He looked up, seeing the guitar he was playing and just had in his hands earlier laying on the floor.
Had he blanked out while thinking or something?
Then again, things had kind of blended together in a haze ever since he started feeling weird. It wouldn't be a stretch to say that's what happened.
Standing up, he walked over and grabbed the guitar from its place on the ground, and gripping it in his hands.
But not playing it.
...Maybe moving around a whole lot wasn't really helping right now.
He didn't know how to make this better.
God, if only he knew what was going on, then maybe he could fix it himself.
Deep breath. It was going to be alright.
He was shaken out of his thoughts by the sound of the door to the room opening, and Pico now stood there in the doorway.
"You alright, DragonForce? I heard ya stop playin' a while ago."
"Oh- yeah, I'm okay. Just thinking too hard, I guess."
"And here I thought you usually don't think at all when you're playing."
"Don't make me throw this at you."
Pico put his hands up in mock surrender, walking closer to him.
"I meant, it looks like you don't have a care in the world when you're rockin' out and shit. What, Bee bein' gone this long affect ya that much?"
Soul only shrugged, keeping a hand on his guitar so that it wasn't entirely hanging off him by its strap.
"Guess so. I don't usually get this... distracted. I don't really know why I'm worried, either. It doesn't really feel like anything's wrong with Bee, and I've been sure that he's just busy talking..."
"Maybe we're both overthinking this then. I bet ya he's gonna come back in a few minutes and be totally fine while wondering what the hell we were even worryin' for."
The other let out a small laugh at the idea.
"That would be kinda funny."
"Yeah. I do kinda wish we could get ahold of B-Mix, though, because I still can't get a call through to Boyfriend."
"What about Gigi?"
"Nah, Gigi's parents got her cooped up at her place, so she's not an option. And it'd be a risk to take ya there anyway even with her maskin' ya."
"Fair enough. But I kinda wish I could know how he's doing over there, too."
"You and me both, Soul... you and me both."
The two stood in silence for a moment, before Pico cleared his throat to speak up again.
"I'm starving. Wanna order pizza?"
"Stop reading my mind first."
"Heh, aight. Don't worry, I know you guys' usual."
He winked at him as he walked off while making the call to order, Soul laughing and rolling his eyes as he followed him out the door.
Shortly after Pico made the call, the two waited around for the food to finally arrive.
They mostly passed some of the time chatting about whatever, or it was Soul hearing Pico's rather amusing comments on the crime show that was on the TV.
Because of course, being a mercenary and professional at that, it was practically a need for him to point out every single little thing that all the criminals did (or were doing) wrong.
It was far from surprising, but that didn't make it any less funny. Besides, it was keeping both of them entertained, so Pico saw that as enough of a win.
Plus, it made for a nice distraction from all the worrying they'd both been doing.
They spent a few more minutes like that until the show ended, and something else began airing on the channel instead that neither of them were interested in.
So naturally, Soul had offered to just put on a movie once they got the pizza, and, having nothing else to watch, Pico agreed.
Eventually, Pico got up from the couch with a small sigh, fishing through his pockets as he walked over to the door out.
"Be right back. Gonna take a quick smoke. I'll pick up the food if it gets here while I'm out, too."
"Alright. See you when you come back."
"Relax, I'll only be a few minutes. But yeah, see ya when I get back."
And with that, he was out the door.
Now it was just playing the waiting game for the millionth time.
But at least Soul already knew that Pico wasn't going to take very long to return.
He didn't need to be worried about him at all.
Damn it, something in his thoughts always had to trail back to his concerns for BF, didn't it?
He was fine. There was no reason to keep stating that to himself over and over and over.
Yet, the doubt remained, no matter what he thought to try to make it go away.
Why couldn't he just relax?
Letting out a sigh, Soul laid back across the armrest of the couch.
Everything was going to be okay.
...And then as if the universe were trying to challenge that belief, the aching in his chest and that off feeling in his body struck with a force, and he found himself shaking again.
Once more, there was that feeling of his body practically failing on him.
It wasn't exactly painful, but god it was messing with him.
He still remained defiant about it, though.
He was still sure he could handle it.
And yet, he couldn't help but grab one of the throw pillows on the couch and clutch it tightly to his chest, trying to steady his breathing again.
...He'd be fine.
Outside, Pico stamped out the cigarette in his hand, blowing out the rest of the smoke from it.
It was rather quiet out for what was usually such a busy city, even at this time of night.
Nonetheless, he definitely preferred it.
He pulled out his phone, opening it so he could track the pizza order - only to find it stuck in traffic.
Eh, fair enough. The roads being busy was hardly the driver's fault. He could wait a little longer.
But, it wasn't long before something else came to mind with that train of thought and he opened his contacts.
Several calls.
All of them missed.
...Still no response yet.
Hesitantly, he pressed on BF's contact, his thumb now hovering over the call button.
Should he really? He's given him time. It would make sense to call now.
He's been gone for much longer than he should've been anyway.
Taking in a breath, he pressed the button and held the phone up to his ear.
Ringing.
Ringing.
Still ringing.
...Voicemail.
Nothing.
"Shit..."
With a sigh, he hung up the call, putting his phone back in his pocket - and whether it be from stress or irritation, he pulled out another cigarette and lit it.
"I don't know what the fuck I was even thinking..."
Of course he wouldn't pick up. He hadn't answered nor called him back this whole time.
And if the text that Girlfriend sent him was anything to go by, she wasn't getting anything from him too.
He's pretty sure she was more worried than him, even though he'd tried to reassure her with the possible reasons that he and Soul stated earlier.
But it was true, both of them were worried. And he could tell Soul was trying not to be.
Looking up at the night sky, clear of clouds and full of stars, he hoped to find some sort of peace.
He couldn't even get that, either.
Shaking his head and stamping out the second cigarette, he turned around and walked back inside the apartment building, making his way back to BF's place.
Trying to quiet all the worried thoughts that were running rampant through his anxious mind.
Once he got to BF's door, he knocked on it again, and the second he heard the lock click, he opened the door, stepping inside and closing it behind him as he sighed again.
"Pizza's stuck in traffic right now. It'll be a bit before it gets here. You okay with that?"
"S-Sure."
That stutter was something he instantly took notice of, and he turned to get a proper look at Soul, who was now laying across the armrest of the couch and was averting eye contact with him.
He noticed how he was trembling slightly, his uneven breathing...
It was a little alarming, to say the least.
Soul, on the other hand, wasn't exactly sure why he was staring so much.
"What?"
Pico kept his eyes on him as he walked around to stand at the other side of the couch.
"...Is something wrong, DragonForce?"
"No... what m-makes you think t-that something's-"
"You're shaking, you're breathing weird, not to mention you're stuttering a bit. I can tell something's up with ya and I wanna know what it is."
Goddammit, no.
No.
He didn't need to know. There was no good reason to tell him like there was with BB. He'd be asking too many questions and having too many concerns. Just- not now.
"N-Nothing's wrong."
"You're obviously lying. Why?"
Soul pushed himself up to a sitting position, with the shaking at least finally dying down.
"Because there's nothing w-wrong!"
"God, I swear, you're as fuckin' stubborn as Bee is sometimes- or is this something to do with him?"
He remained silent at that, only confusing Pico even more.
"Soul."
The entity in question looked up at him.
"Just tell me what's wrong."
"...Why are you even s-so agitated about this?"
"You're not even answering my-!"
"I'm asking YOU."
After a beat of silence, Pico finally relented, letting out a small groan, pausing for a bit before he finally gave an answer.
"...I tried to call Bee again. Didn't answer. Started to get concerned about it- him, this time despite what ya told me. And now you're acting weird, so something has to be wrong here."
Another pause lingered between them again.
"I know something must be up with ya. So let me just ask you this: how do you really still think Bee could be okay when you're feeling like that?"
"Not everything that happens to me is happening to him, you know."
"But still. The point stands."
"If I didn't believe that, do you really think I'd still try to claim he was probably okay?"
"...Hm."
The two stayed in silence for a bit after that.
Soul grasped the pillow in his hands a bit tighter in frustration.
Of fucking course Pico just had to walk in while those symptoms of his were starting to peak again.
Why did all of this have to be so damn complicated...?
Pico watched him carefully all the while.
He didn't get why he was straight up just refusing to tell him that something was wrong. He was obviously feeling off and neither of them had any idea why.
That only made him want to get to the bottom of it and figure that out for him even more.
Admittedly, he did kind of let his anger slip out for a minute there. It only escalated the conversation and had gotten him no answers.
Sucking in a breath, he let himself speak again.
"Ya know you're my friend too, right?"
The form that he asked the question itself in may have been a little weird, but Soul knew exactly what he was trying to say.
I care about you too.
And yet... he couldn't bring himself to tell him. He didn't know whether or not it was because he'd already tried to hide it for so long, but he really couldn't get the words out that at the moment, he absolutely was NOT fine.
"...Pico, don't worry about it. I'll be okay. There's... nothing wrong that I really feel the need to tell you about."
Okay, honestly - what kind of logic was he trying to use here? That whatever was going on would just go away the less he thought about it?
Pico already knew more than anyone that that wasn't how it worked.
"Really? You're sure about that?"
He could hear Soul muttering under his breath in Japanese, and it was obvious that he was a bit annoyed.
"あなたも同じように頑固です..." [You're just as stubborn...]
After that, he just gave a nod.
"I'm fine."
Well, to be fair, he wasn't shaking. The stuttering had gone away, and his breathing was even now.
He could only guess that whatever happened had been some sort of episode of... something.
That only brought more questions to his mind, however.
How long had that been happening? Was it going to get worse? More importantly, what exactly was causing it?
...He really didn't want to have to do this.
But something WAS wrong and Soul was clearly trying NOT to tell him.
With a sigh, he sat down on the other end of the couch opposite to Soul.
"Alright. Fine. You really think you're okay, huh?"
"God- don't try to tell me that you can somehow see that I'm 'not'. I'm pretty sure you already know I meant what I said."
"Oh, I know that."
From his back pocket, he pulled out a mic and tossed it at Soul, who fumbled a bit before catching it and turning to look at him questioningly.
Pico didn't say anything at first, only standing up and pulling out his phone, loading up a music app on it.
"This is how you're going to prove to me that you're really 'fine'. If you manage to make it through this entire song without something happening to ya that affects your singing, then I'll let it slide this one damn time."
The mercenary refused to say what would happen otherwise, but Soul got the message.
Letting out a slight huff, he stood up from the couch to face Pico, letting go of the pillow in his hands in the process. He tossed the mic back to him as he caught it, and materialized another one in his hand.
"I have my own."
Pico nodded, finally finding the track on his phone he was looking for.
It wasn't obvious, but there was a nervousness to Soul that he had grown to see well.
That just made it more intriguing as to where things were going to go from here.
"3..."
He noticed how Soul gripped his mic a little tighter in his hand.
"2..."
He raised his own up closer to his face, and the other matched him.
"1..."
They both steeled themselves for different reasons, preparing in advance for the song.
"Go."
Pico pressed play and tossed his phone on the couch.
Not a second later, the music rang out, and both of them got ready to sing with it.
It was soft and slow, but foreboding, ominous even.
There was a few bars of instrumental where they just kept their eyes on each other, before Pico nodded at Soul, signaling for him to start with the first verse.
He wasn't... entirely surprised when he'd gotten through that first bit without any difficulty.
Pico repeated that verse back to him easily, the two still watching each other like hawks stalking their prey.
As it neared its end, the vocals bound to break and make way for a few seconds of the instrumental to take center stage, he decided on one last thing before the song could kick up a little bit.
He could give him one more chance.
Once he'd finished his hold note, he spoke out.
"Are you sure you're-"
"I said I'm FINE!"
Alright. He guessed Soul was a little frustrated with how many times he'd asked him that question. Sue him for being a concerned friend, then.
The other immediately continued with the next verse, the track starting to grow as they continued.
Pico repeated Soul's verses back to him easily, even when he'd extended them enough for them to essentially duet.
He wasn't having any problems YET, so he could keep going easy on him as long as the music would let him.
Well- he seemed a little unsteady. But that was an easy thing to chalk up to nerves.
The instrumental backed off a bit, and this time Soul had given him a slightly longer verse than the others. Pico copied it effortlessly.
As they went into the section right before the sudden drop, Pico continued to watch him carefully. It was a mix of concern and exasperation at this point.
However, the two reached the last note of the verse right before the song kicked in fully, and the ginger instantly noticed Soul flinching despite holding the note as his vocals wavered - he'd curled into himself slightly, floating off the ground, and clutched his chest, seemingly in pain.
There it was.
And he'd let it go on for what might've been a little too long.
"Soul!"
He'd called out in anger, in worry, maybe a bit of anxiety-
The other, however, clenched his fist and let out a slightly frustrated growl, and continued to belt out the next notes anyway.
Goddammit, what the hell was he trying to prove?!
Pico half-yelled half-sung the notes back at him, and by now they were practically having an argument again through the song despite the points where they harmonized.
But... after his countermelody, as Pico repeated the verse Soul had sung at him, in the break before he sung, he flinched and a hand flew to grab his chest again just before he sang out the high notes of his part, seemingly ignoring the obvious agony he was in.
And by the end of the verse as the song calmed down again, just after holding that last note had he collapsed to the ground on his knees, not even holding his mic anymore while his other hand still tightly clutched at his chest.
Pico watched him, but this time with worry, trying through the notes to calmly tell him to stop singing.
It took two turns until he finally stopped persisting - he was shaking again, and his breathing was deep but shallow.
The mercenary lowered the mic and spoke as the instrumental played to the end.
He immediately regretted how much annoyance he accidentally let seep into his tone, though.
"Now are you going to tell me what's wrong?"
Soul looked up at him from where he was on the ground, trying to make a decision, before shutting his eyes as he sighed.
"Fine."