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he thought it was funny. genuinely. every time he looked online and saw a post calling 'boys planet 999' 'gays planet 999' he couldn’t help but giggle. plus all of the "fruity" compilations from moments of the survival show were always enjoyable to watch, no doubt about that.
hanging around them without the cameras was just about the same. fun and chaotic, sometimes stressful but the good times they had cancelled that out. most of them came out to one another at some point. being one of the youngest and in today’s world, yujin didn’t really care for it. he had all types of friends at school so it didn’t bother him that they were somehow part of the lgbtq+ community or something else.
when they finally debuted though, it made yujin think just a tiny bit more. only a tiny bit though because he wasn’t too nosy on such personal matters. he felt weird about it all once he thought about it. most of them were gay but he wasn’t (well at least he didn’t think he was). in all honesty he never cared for that stuff anyway, he was always focused on training. since he’s an idol though, does he have a chance to sit and think about it now? literally almost all of his new older friends were gay, he wasn’t, and he was the only one. he thought that was odd. and now here he was on the couch of their dorm pondering about it.
he had seen videos online of irritating homophobes and transphobes thinking people were pushing their "agenda" on kids and if they were around anyone like that they would be brainwashed by it. yujin himself had always thought "yeah whatever fucking loser," because they truly didn’t seem like they had anything going on for themselves so they had to spout nonsense online. he didn’t think his hyungs were pushing that on him at all though, whatsoever, but he did solely hang around them. so would he be even slightly gay in the future? is that how that would work? he’s around people older than him 24/7 that have no shame in expressing themselves. yujin himself is still a high schooler that has never thought much of anything truthfully and basically just lives now that he’s met his dream of becoming an idol. since he has these hyung’s now, would he turn out like them?
it was far too much for his brain at the moment. they were all currently in the common area, doing a whole load of nothing. jiwoong, taerae, gunwook and matthew were splayed across the other two couches on either side of his on their phones. the rest were on the floor watching the kids show yujin decided to put on to relax to. he suddenly sat up from his laying position, sighing as he covered himself more with the extremely nice blanket he had found in ricky’s room. "all of you are some type of gay, does that mean i will be too?" he asked in genuine, and all too innocent, curiosity. hanbin glanced around the room quite stunned, just as the rest of them were. hao looked at him anxiously and smiled, "hun that’s not how that works-" "yeah basically," gyuvin shrugged.
"gyuvin no," hanbin shook his head and huffed, "this is out of nowhere, what were you thinking about?" yujin shrugged, he really does follow in gyuvin’s footsteps. "i guess i’ve been thinking about it for a while. it’s just kinda weird how all of you are gay in some way but,” he paused, "i don’t know."
"ricky’s gayness spread to me. i was straight before, trust," gyuvin nodded with his eyes closed and lips pursed, only for ricky to punch him on the shoulder. "no you two just happened to find out you’re madly in love with each other," taerae scoffed and rolled his eyes, "he was your gay awakening." "guys unfortunately this is not helping yujin," hanbin sarcastically said as he eyed them while shaking his head.
"well you’ve heard of lady gaga right," matthew put his phone away and grinned, "you’re born this way. it’s not something you can just catch like a cold." "yeah, it’s not like contagious," ricky said through his play fight with gyuvin. "you haven’t been watching those weird old homophobic ladies on instagram again have you?" jiwoong raised an eyebrow, looking up from his phone at the youngest. yujin shook his head, "i know i’m not gonna be brainwashed by all of you being gay. but…"
"but what yujin? how is there a but to that sentence?" hao looked like he wanted to burst out laughing, you really can’t blame him though, this was such an interesting situation. "but," yujin glared at him, "what if it is washed onto me? i mean, i don’t exactly know what i am, i never thought about it. i feel like it’s the standard to be gay around here." he flopped back on the couch and stared at the ceiling. "are you saying you don’t like us being gay?" gunwook teased playfully, wholly engaged in the conversation. "hyung," he whined, "i’m serious." "for the record i’m bi, i don’t like men as much as you think," he chuckled. "still gay," taerae shrugged.
"i hope you aren’t going around kissing boys and girls all nilly-willy just because you’re curious," jiwoong was back on his phone, pulling up the blanket him and taerae were sharing just a little. yujin glared at him as well and sighed again. "what about you hyung, how did you know?" gyuvin asked. jiwoong looked away from his phone for a second in thought. "i was…i guess i was pretty wild in my pre-teens and teens." hanbin groaned, "of course you were." "i was still responsible though, just don’t do everything i did yujin," he gave his final thoughts.
"how did you know hanbin hyung?" yujin asked, he was hopefully his last source for reliable advice on this. hanbin smiled, "i didn’t actually know until after i graduated. i started being more comfortable in letting myself go - doing what i wanted to and finally expressing myself. my mom argues she knew since i was a toddler," he laughed. "you don’t have to be like us yujin. we’re all different and that’s okay. don’t think you have to be like us in order to fit others’ ideals."
"just let yourself go and think what you wanna think," zhanghao encouraged further, "don’t be so contemplative of it. some people your age aren’t figured out either, and that’s fine, you have plenty of time. a whole lifetime even." yujin pouted, now pleased because of their words, but not fully satisfied. gyuvin and ricky were now in their shared room, no one wanted to even consider what they were doing. hanbin and hao were still sat on the floor, staring at yujin with such warmth, tenderness, and comfort. taerae was being nosy and looking at jiwoong’s phone while gunwook and matthew were still peeking at the youngest, wondering if he had any other comments or questions. "okay," yujin replied, laying back down and focusing on the tv once more. "that’s it? okay?" matthew smiled, "what are you gonna do now?"
"i don’t know, think about it some more? jiwoong hyung said no kissing anyone, i don’t have anyone around that i have a crush on to test it out, and i’m sleepy." gunwook beamed and laughed, "take a nap, we can play mario kart after you wake up." yujin just nodded, he’ll leave all of the exhausting thoughts on who he was till later.