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“Whoever loses has to tell them, okay?” Josh said.
Ken shrugged. “Sure.”
“Okay.” Josh took a deep breath. “Okay.”
“This doesn’t have to be a big deal, you know,” Ken commented.
Josh just glared at him. “Shut up and do it.”
Ken rolled his eyes. “Fine, fine. On my signal. One.”
“Two.”
“Three.”
Ken’s scissors beat Josh’s paper.
Josh threw his arms in the air. “Fuuuck.”
“Uh-oh, someone’s pulling out bad words.” Ken smiled in amusement, the jerk. “Come on, babe. You’re just going to tell them we’re married.”
Josh groaned. “Married abroad. On a spur of the moment after one of our shows. Without anyone knowing.”
“The boys know.” Ken paused, waving his hand. “I mean, they found out after, but they know.”
Oh, they definitely know. Turned out Josh and Ken both had enjoyed newlywed sex a bit too much. Paulo still hadn’t gotten over that. Stell had been impressed at the noise level. Justin had a tendency to walk out of the room whenever it was mentioned.
“Thank god none of them said anything yet to our parents.” Josh sighed.
“I think they just like watching you stress out about it,” Ken mused.
“How can you be so calm about this?” Josh whined.
Ken smiled, that lopsided and quirky little smile Josh loved. “I married you. I’ve already won this whole thing.”
Josh melted and he couldn’t resist the urge to lean forward and kiss that stupid smile on his husband’s stupid face. He then sighed and slumped back on his seat.
“My mom will freak out. We already know that. But your parents won’t take this lightly too. How can you be calm about that?”
Ken shrugged. “Same reason as the first question, and also because you’re stressing out about it enough for the two of us.” He patted Josh’s hand. “Baby, we’ve been dating for years. It wouldn’t surprise anyone to find out we’re married.”
That was true, but it was still important to have told their parents, especially their parents.
Josh’s mom, Joanne, was predictable in her unpredictability and temper tantrums. She adored Ken, less so whenever he forgot to return her pristine tupperware collection or whenever he forgot to compliment her on how beautiful she was. But the Santos family had a history of making spur of the moment decisions—like Mom going to the mall but suddenly heading to the airport to go to Boracay even without a suitcase, or Mom suddenly buying a refrigerator because the saleslady complimented her hair—so Josh was pretty sure that after a meltdown and some screaming, she’d end up far too amused that her responsible son had ended up getting married in secret.
Ken’s parents, Enrico and Teresa, on the other hand, were complicated. They worked abroad, but had finally settled down in the country after years of Ken’s pestering, and then Josh too after he had met them officially as Ken’s boyfriend. But they were both very intense sort of people. Overdramatic Enrico would no doubt cry and complain that he hadn’t been told, while strict Teresa would be appalled that they went against tradition—never mind that two men getting married was untraditional enough—and had not allowed their parents to give them away or celebrated with the rest of the extended family prior to tying the knot. They’d be happy of course, but they’d also be a tiny bit heartbroken, maybe even mad. And Josh didn’t want that.
“How did this happen?” Josh moaned.
Ken looked up from his phone. “We had a show abroad, went on a date and a bit of jewelry shopping, got drunk, someone proposed, and then we got married.”
Josh looked at him, confused. “We weren’t drunk. We hate drinking.”
Ken shrugged. “I didn’t say we got drunk on alcohol. We got drunk on… the moment.” He wiggled his fingers for effect.
“The moment,” Josh repeated in a deadpan voice.
Ken laughed. “See? Sounds corny. So we go with a generic: we got drunk, and let them guess.”
“And you proposed, not me,” Josh pointed out.
“I did not. You did.” Ken looked affronted. He sighed. “Look, babe. We’ve been fighting over this since it happened. Let’s just agree that someone proposed and we’re not sure who because, again, we were both drunk.”
“You were the one who proposed,” Josh murmured.
“You can believe whatever you want.” Ken rolled his eyes at him and stood up. “Anyway, you lost. So where are we going first? Your Mom’s or my parents’ place?”
Josh suddenly paled at the reminder.
Ken’s phone beeped and he glanced at it. “Mom just replied. They’re at home. Let’s start with my parents, husband of mine.”
Oh. Josh paused.
“You called me husband,” he said.
It had been several months, but the title still sent a frisson of pleasure down Josh’s spine. It had the same effect on Ken, who now had a silly grin on his stupid, handsome face.
Ken pulled Josh to his feet and then kissed the back of his hand, right where his wedding ring was. He looked at Josh with a heavy gaze.
“I guess, we can go see them… after a few hours…” he said.
The bedroom door was closed with a resounding bang.
“Hi, tita.”
Teresa beamed at him and presented her cheek for him to kiss. “Josh, anak. You’re just in time. We’re about to eat dinner.”
Ken raised a hand. “I’m here too, you know.”
Teresa tutted at him, but tapped her other cheek for him. “We should always welcome guests. Didn’t I teach you manners? Now come on. Let’s have dinner.” She walked off.
“Josh isn’t a guest, he’s family,” Ken said. He glanced at Josh and then followed after his mother. “And speaking of family—”
It was like slow motion and intuition. Josh knew exactly what Ken was going to say and how he was going to transition into the whole marriage topic in an ungraceful and completely inappropriate move.
Josh shoved Ken aside, but in his panic, he had sent his husband stumbling back out the door and falling over his own feet with a loud yelp.
Teresa turned back, confused at the goings on. “Felip, what are you doing? Stop playing around and get inside. You’re being rude.”
She walked off to the kitchen, calling for Enrico.
Josh stepped back outside and sent his annoyed husband a sheepish look.
“Sorry, babe.” He reached out a hand.
Ken was grumbling under his breath as Josh helped him up. Their rings clinked together, but they were just regular accessories and not their wedding rings.
They had only been married a few months, and it was so weird to be married to someone and be their other half and be tied to them for the rest of your life, but it was also really comforting and amazing and wonderful all at the same time, especially because it was Ken, who Josh loved dearly despite how annoying and relaxed he was being about this, though Josh knew Ken was also a little nervous under his bravado, and as Josh held Ken’s hand, he really kind of missed their wedding rings, but they had agreed not to wear it too often or else risk people knowing, even if Josh really did want people to know, and even their parents, really, but, uhm, maybe, not yet?
“Maybe we should wait.”
Ken was rubbing his bottom and he paused, looking at Josh in confusion. “What?”
“Just another month? Please?”
Ken sighed, so deeply that he looked as if he deflated, but Josh knew he was also dreading things, even slightly.
“All right, another month,” Ken agreed. “But you’re gonna have to make it up to me.”
“I will,” Josh said, kissing his cheek and copping a feel of his ass.
“Stop flirting, you two. Come eat,” Teresa called out, making them jump apart.
They walked in, hand in hand, and Josh could breathe a little easier.
There was always next month.
“You know how our fans have always been insane about us? We can take a tip from them.”
Josh looked up from where he was reading contracts. They were in the conference room reading through important paperwork, but only Josh was reading and Ken was still picking through the donuts and coffee the team had set out as snacks.
“What?” he asked, confused.
“You know how our clowns put out those billboard ads when they’re happy? We can do that,” Ken said, munching on a donut.
“Swallow before talking, babe,” Josh commented. “Put out an ad and say what?”
He didn’t know why he was humoring his husband, but if it would save Josh from having to physically tell their parents that they got married, he’d take it. No matter how stupid the idea was.
“We can say: ‘Oh, by the way, we’re married!’ with our wedding picture,” Ken said.
Josh scowled. “We are not calling that our wedding picture.”
Ken huffed. “It was taken at our wedding and is the only picture we have of the occasion.”
“It’s stupid.”
“It’s cute.”
It was both a stupid and cute photo and Josh both loved and hated it. They were dressed decently, for all that it was a spur of the moment thing, and they had been drunk (on the moment) but had been clear-headed enough to try for a photo. So they had propped Ken's phone down on the ground just before they had to walk inside to meet with the judge. They had been posing nicely, but then there had been a problem. They had posed right in front of the entrance.
The judge had pushed open the door the same time the timer had gone off.
Their wedding photo was a shot of Josh in mid-flight towards the ground, eyes and mouth wide. The judge, a rather lovely woman, was shocked. Ken was being an idiot. He was caught mid-laugh.
It was stupid and cute and hilarious and memorable and Josh loved and hated it so much it was framed in their bedroom.
“Your parents are going to kill us if they saw that.”
“The circus will like it though,” Ken said.
“Then DM it to them.”
Ken sighed. “Maybe they can just tell our parents for us that we’re married.”
The other boys had been entering the conference room at that exact moment. Stell suddenly burst into laughter. Paulo looked thrown. Justin started to look wary.
“You’re going to make your fans announce that you’re married?” Paulo asked, astounded.
“They’d probably organize a petition to have it declared a national holiday.” Stell snickered.
“You still haven’t told your parents?” Justin asked. He shook his head in disappointment. “You two are stupid. I still can’t believe you haven’t said anything to them.” He made to sit down on a chair.
“I can’t believe we had to pay the hotel extra for everything you broke on your wedding night,” Paulo groused.
Justin immediately stood up. “I’m leaving.”
“It’s not like the company actually paid for that,” Ken protested. “You took it from our pay.”
“I’m leaving.”
Stell laughed again. “Of course, we had to. I mean, the costs alone… and the headboard… and the broken lamp…”
“I’m out.”
“It was money well-spent,” Ken said, sounding a little smug.
“I’m going home!” Justin closed the door behind him.
Josh scowled at them. “Look. You made Jah leave.”
“Just tell your parents,” Stell said. “Get it out in the open and get it over with.”
“And they can’t even protest anything because you two are already married. That’s a plus,” Paulo added.
Ken nodded. “That’s got a point.”
The door opened and one of their staff poked her head in.
“Why did Kuya Jah take his car keys and leave?”
Josh just groaned.
“Hi, tito.”
“Josh! Hello, son!”
Ken’s father, Enrico, was excitable and dramatic, but his heart was always in the right place. He had welcomed Josh so openly even during the first days of his and Ken’s relationship. It would be so easy to just tell him that he had married the man’s son.
But there was a problem.
Being an excitable and dramatic person, he would no doubt cry at the mere thought that he hadn’t been there to see his son get married. And the thought of it made Josh want to vomit.
“Are you pregnant or something?” Ken asked.
Josh hissed at his husband and slapped his arm, making Ken howl.
“I meant I feel bad and guilty, you idiot!”
“I was just kidding,” Ken whined, rubbing his bare arm.
Josh looked around. They were at a shoe store because Ken and Enrico wanted to buy shoes and Josh had been invited. At this rate, Enrico might push them all to buy matching pairs. He was like that. Matching things made him happy.
Maybe Josh could go with the cliché move and find some Nike baby booties. They weren’t pregnant, but it would be funny and break the ice. Maybe.
“What are we talking about?” Enrico asked, coming from the corner. Just like Josh had predicted, he had three pairs of identical shoes in different colors.
“Josh wanted to say something to you, Dad,” Ken said, turning to him.
“Uh… well… uh…”
Josh felt his skin tightening and his heart filling with dread. He loved Ken's parents, for god’s sake. And it's not too far off to say that they liked him too. But just thinking of Dad’s disappointed face… and the crying, oh god. What if he cried here? In public? People would think Josh was a bad son-in-law.
“I think the blue looks good on you, sir,” was all Josh said.
Ken’s head whipped towards him, but Josh just sent him an awkward smile.
“Great! You can take the red and Kenken will get the black one,” Enrico said excitedly. “Come on. Let’s try them out.”
“You were supposed to tell Dad,” Ken hissed in his ear.
“I can’t, Ken. What if he cries?” Josh despaired. “What if he cries and your mother is still out shopping with my mother and they don’t rescue us from him?”
Ken paled. “Oh. I guess that wouldn’t be good.”
They made it all the way to the end of the shopping trip and Josh still hadn’t told his unsuspecting father-in-law that he was, in fact, Josh’s father-in-law.
They all had matching rubber shoes though.
The next few weeks put a stop to their plans because they got swamped with work, schedules, appearances, performances, and commitments. The staff also had to put a ban on talking about Josh and Ken’s relationship and took away their car keys during important events because Justin was a flight risk whenever he had a feeling they were going to talk about the pair’s ‘extracurricular activities’ and ‘past misadventures.’
But finally there was a window when things calmed down just enough for everyone to breathe. They were back in the studio finishing up some last minute things for the group before they went their separate ways for a while—some to go on vacation, others to do solo projects, and Josh and Ken to finally tell their parents they were married.
“What’s this?” Josh asked when Ken handed him his tablet.
“Our agent sent over options for the house.”
“A house? You’re finally buying one?” Paulo asked, barely looking up from his laptop.
“Not yet. We haven’t found the right one,” Josh said, scanning through the email. Ken made him scoot forward on the couch so he could squeeze himself behind Josh and hold him between his arms and thighs.
“You two are gross,” Justin commented from the long table where he was sketching. “If you do something more, I’m leaving.”
“You can’t buy a house together when you haven’t even told your parents you’re married,” Stell pointed out.
“It’s Josh’s fault. He lost, but he’s being a baby about it,” Ken said.
Josh pinched his hand and Ken retaliated by biting the back of his neck.
Justin scooted his rolling chair closer to the door.
“And Ken just bought a car,” Paulo added, still typing. “That’s a lot of expenses.”
“We’re just looking at houses for now.” Josh scanned the email from the realtor. There were some good choices, but none of them felt right.
“Josh already budgeted my car before I bought it,” Ken commented, kissing Josh’s shoulder.
Justin pressed his rolling chair right up against the door.
Josh reached back and patted his husband’s cheek. A thought suddenly occured to him.
“Maybe we need to set aside a budget for our parents,” he mused. Knowing them, he and Ken would need to spend an insane amount of money to get back in their good graces. He exited his email and started checking his and Ken’s accounts.
Ken nuzzled against Josh’s neck and slid his hands under his shirt. Josh didn’t mind. He was used to this.
“You think of everything,” Ken said. “I would marry you if we weren’t already married.”
“I wish Josh would budget my money for me, too,” Stell said, chuckling.
Ken glared at him a little. “Get your own husband.”
Stell glanced at Paulo. “I’m trying, but someone’s stupider than you two are.”
“What?” Paulo finally looked up from his laptop. He blinked around the room and then made a disgusted face when he saw Josh and Ken tangled up together and Ken’s hands under Josh’s shirt.
“If you two have sex on that couch, you better budget us a bigger and more expensive one.”
The door was thrown open.
“I AM WALKING HOME!”
“Hi, tita.”
“Ken!”
Josh watched as Ken swept his mother up in a hug. Joanne laughed, patting Ken on the cheek.
“You look beautiful, tita. But you always do. I’m always reminded of where Josh gets his good looks,” he said, kissing her cheek.
Their friends had a point. They couldn’t move forward with any big decisions if their parents still didn’t know. So Josh decided that it might be better to tell his mom first. Joanne wasn’t as stern as Teresa and not as dramatic as Enrico. She was a good middle ground. Maybe?
His mother could be unpredictable though so Josh wasn’t quite sure. In the end, they decided to ease her into it. They had brought her along on a little day trip—a drive out of the city, visiting a neary art museum, eating at this really upscale restaurant, and then maybe a shopping trip after if they felt like it. (Joanne always felt like it.)
“Such a shame your parents couldn’t come with Kenken,” Joanne said, pouting. “I thought this might have been a good chance for us all to bond.”
“Yeah, but one of my aunts suddenly came so we had to change plans,” Ken sighed.
It was a bit of a white lie since Ken’s aunt had left yesterday, but Joanne didn’t need to know.
“The food here is wonderful though. We should eat here again,” Joanne said, taking a sip of her lemonade. “By the way, any reason you two suddenly decided to take a little trip out here?”
This. This was the perfect time to say, ‘Mom, Ken and I are married.’ Here, where Joanne was relaxed and calm.
Ken seemed to think so too, judging by the way he was nudging Josh’s foot under the table. Josh blinked once, twice.
“Ken bought a car,” he blurted out.
“What?!”
Josh winced, both from his mother’s squeal and the foot pressing down hard on his own.
“A sports car. It’s red.”
Joanne turned to Ken. The man was obviously holding back a sigh, but he graciously followed Josh’s lead.
“And Josh and I thought you might want to ride it sometime.”
“Yes, please!” Joanne gushed excitedly. “When did you get it? What does it look like?”
As Josh’s (still secret) husband and mother chatted, he put up with the hard foot that was crushing his under the table.
He deserved it.
“You’re a chicken.”
Josh smiled as he rounded the car. They had just come from driving Joanne around and showing off Ken’s car.
“Well, I’m kind of a chicken, because I’m one of your fans.”
But Ken was a little annoyed and it showed as he leaned back against his car.
Josh touched his arm and pressed close to him. “Sorry.”
Ken sighed. “It’s all right. I understand. And I guess I can’t be mad if I can’t tell them too.” He leaned down to kiss Josh.
The kiss left Josh’s head cloudy and his legs a little wobbly. Damn, he really loved this man. And he had married him. He grabbed Ken’s hand, and with the other, threw open the back door of the car. Ken easily got the hint and he swooped down and kissed Josh again. They stumbled against each other, both because they were trying to get into the car and because Josh’s knees felt a bit weak.
Maybe there was such a thing as being drunk ‘on the moment.’
He closed the car door behind them.
“Hi, babies.”
“Meow!”
“Woof!”
Josh sighed, lost in thought, and rubbing Kuro-chan and Ibubu’s little heads and letting them play around.
“Josh?”
Josh was seated on the floor of Ken’s office, playing with their furbabies. Ken was out in the living room with their parents. He had also taken his parents out on a spin on his new car and they had been talking excitedly about it. The entire scene was set for Josh to spill the beans, but he couldn’t.
“Josh? Babe?”
Josh rubbed Kuro’s belly and let Ibubu gnaw on his toe. “I should just say it, right? Just say it to them.”
“Meow!”
“Woof!”
“Mom, Tita, Tito, Ken and I are married and have been for almost a year now.”
“YOU’RE WHAT?!”
The babies yowled in surprise and ran off and Josh slowly turned towards the door. He could literally feel his face draining of blood. Ken was standing by the door, a pained expression on his face. Looking in on him were their parents. Teresa was wide-eyed, Enrico was gaping, and Joanne looked like she was foaming at the mouth.
“You two are married?” Joanne shrieked.
“That’s what you’ve been hiding from us?” Teresa asked.
“We thought you two got engaged and were waiting to share the news!” Enrico whined. “Why didn’t you tell us?”
Ken moved towards Josh, helping him stand up from the floor even if Josh felt like he should live there and be swallowed by the floorboards.
“Okay,” Ken started. “The thing is that we technically didn’t get engaged—”
Bad idea. Bad. Joanne’s eyes widened so much Josh thought they were going to pop out of his mother’s head.
“We were going to tell you,” Josh butted in. “Ken and I had a bet and everything and I lost, so I was supposed to say something, but I… er, but it’s…” he trailed off.
“Josh kept chickening out,” Ken said. Josh glared at him. “I wasn’t the one who lost in rock, paper scissors.”
Joanne stomped towards them and crossed her arms over her chest. If Josh had earned his spitfire attitude from someone, it was her.
“Storytime. Now.”
The entire tale came out in fits and bursts and stammers. Their parents had looked displeased at them getting married ‘drunk’—on the moment, and not on alcohol, Ken had insisted—and then not even having witnesses—not even Pau, Stell or Jah, Teresa had asked, outraged.
Joanne whipped towards her son and Josh cowered behind his husband. This was in their vows, to protect each other from murderous mothers.
“We are having a late wedding reception or so help me Josh Cullen Santos—”
“Santos–Suson, we hyphenated, tita,” Ken said. And how was it unfair that Josh’s mother wasn’t angry at Ken?
“—so help me Josh Cullen Santos–Suson, I will end you, and as your mother no court on this earth will convict me,” Joanne hissed.
Josh nodded meekly. “Yes, Mom.”
Enrico was already on his phone. “I already know where we’ll have it, Jo. Come on. I’ve been saving my ideas for their actual wedding, but it turns out I was just going to be disappointed.” The two kept chatting as they walked out of the room.
“Ken. Josh.”
They both jumped. Teresa was looking at them both sternly.
“Just for this, I will make your father wear a zebra print suit to your wedding reception.”
That wasn’t too bad.
“And I will make sure he begs you two to wear it too.”
They both froze.
“And I will let Joanne organize the kind of over the top event that you both hate. I will invite every single relative we have and you will suffer through picture-taking and conversations with them. Every. Single One.”
They both gasped.
“And we will charge everything to your card.”
With that said, Teresa walked off.
Josh loved and feared her. She was amazing and yet savage.
Their parents left, leaving Josh and Ken to slump down on the floor with matching sighs. Kuro-chan and Ibubu reappeared but seemed wary of approaching their owners.
“That… could have… gone better,” Ken muttered.
“You think?” Josh asked, rubbing his temples. He laid his head on Ken’s shoulder and closed his eyes for a moment. He smiled a little when he felt Ken kiss the top of his head and rub his arm.
“I love you, you know,” Ken said quietly.
“I love you too.” Josh sighed. He looked up, meeting Ken’s eyes. “Thanks for proposing and for marrying me.”
“You were the one who proposed, don’t be stupid,” Ken said and kissed him.
“At least we already have the budget for this,” Josh murmured.
Ken snorted. “You’re hilarious if you think our parents won’t overshoot the budget.”
Josh whined against his shoulder. They were going to have to give up their house for this until their bank accounts could recover.
“Oh! I want to display their baby pictures!”
“And I still have some old home videos!”
They both gasped and ran for the door.
They had some groveling and begging to do.
During their extravagant and exorbitantly expensive late wedding reception months later, Josh and Ken were left to cower in fear of their parents and face over two hundred of their relatives, extended family, and friends.
Stell was torn between laughing at their dilemma and being both appalled and impressed at how expensive everything was. Paulo bemoaned the pair’s lack of decency and frequent misadventures to their parents. He also bragged about the new couch they had in their studio.
Justin held onto his car keys during the entire party and only threatened to use it twice.