Chapter Text
she knows in her heart what those colours mean to her.
mixes of white, blue and pink all blurred together
she remembers the night she laid on the grass next to the boy she loved most in the world
with his platinum blond hair, a shade off white, and the brown threads of hair she could see emerge at his roots from when he bleached his hair.
it was fading. fading much like their relationship that she knew would soon come to an end.
she predicted it would happen, yet dreads the end every time it comes along.
when she can sense the abandonment creeping up on her. she doesn't want to come off as obsessed or clingy, but all she wanted to do in that moment was cling to the short boy's hair and beg him to stay.
it has been six months and she still cant get that memory out of her head. she did, infact beg him to stay, asked him so many times why he would do that, why he'd hurt the most precious and fragile girl he'd ever known.
sometimes, she wonders if he also felt the love for her slowly leaving his heart. she'd do anything to know exactly what he felt, she really tried to understand him. she likes to think she does, atleast to some degree.
when she stays up until the early hours of morning and plays the songs she dedicated to him, thinking about how things could be different. maybe if she learned how to love right.
this time, she thinks about his hair. she remembers how months after the break up when he walked back into her life with bright blue hair; it looked badly done, it was patchy and you could definitely still see the blond peeking through the strands of blue as if he'd tried hard to hide it
she knows not to think too hard about it, but she wonders if his hair was a representation of their complicated relationship. if what he really was trying to hide was the memories of her. her love, her touch, her smile, her laugh, her jokes, her hands, every bit of her he'd tried to erase from his life.
he did a poor job at dying his hair. he did a poor job of trying to forget her. he could change his hair, his personality, his everything. he could move as far away as possible and it still wouldn't be enough. no matter how much he tried to distance himself, he still saw her everyday. he could not possibly escape the threatening glares she gave him.
it was ruining him. he knew what it meant, it was all a big fuck you to him for how he treated her. he knows that everything she does is an attempt at his attention. every fucking thing she does is calculated carefully just to make sure her every action hurts him. everything. it's slow, deliberately calculated, meant to hurt him.
she was never a girl to freak out on someone. he knew her. at least, to some degree, though not nearly as well as she knows him. she makes him hurt painfully, only by getting into his head. it's really all she has to do to tear him apart.
he has ruined many, many things for her. the very most special thing being the colour blue. it'd been in everything they shared. blue was his favorite colour. it was in his hair. he'd be the blue to her pink. it was their thing. he'd be the moon, she'd be the sun. she was always a dreamer. everyone always compared her to the sun, said she was pure sunshine. she lit up every room she walked into
he was nothing more than a bleeding, little blue boy.