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The Enchanted Forest had become a location that both Charlie, and Pim, kept a safe distance from. After their experience from that one mission to aid the Princess who lived in the depths of it, their meeting of Mip, and Charlie being caught up in the dopamine rushes of being praised as a hero, both had decided maybe the place wasn’t as cool as Pim once thought it was.
It didn’t stop him from stopping by the walls some days, observing from the safe side of the great all knowing, powerful wall. He’d observed wizardly wars from the safety point, seeing them fling all types of spells around, and not just the usual fireball.
One of them cast ‘nine months pregnant’ on another wizard, and that was quite the eye opener.
Today though, Pim and Charlie were walking along the wall that separated them from the Enchanted Forest, talking about one thing or another. It didn’t particularly matter, it was a conversation to fill space as they walked together, as they were wont to do. A sign hovering above the wall caught Pim’s attention first, not that he could read it clearly, but because it was bright neon pink with green glittering writing.
“Huh? What’s that?” he hurried ahead of Charlie who hung back for a moment longer before joining him.
“The worst sign I’ve ever seen, what the Hell kind of colour clashing is that?” Charlie scoffed.
TODAY ONLY! MOBGLIP THE GREAT WONDERFUL AMAZING GARAGE SALE EVERYTHING MUST GO!
The sign blinked and flickered at them before an arrow erupted from the bottom of it and pointed down the way in which they were walking.
“Ugh. Garage Sales.” Charlie began to walk again.
“Oh! I love Garage Sales,” Pim sighed as he observed the sign for a moment longer before hurrying to keep up with Charlie. “There’s a chance you might find a wonderful little trinket that just pulls the whole room together!”
Charlie scoffed, again. “No way man. Garage sales are bad news. My uncle bought a soup bowl from a garage sale one day, the next day he twisted his knee falling over it.”
“What was he doing with it to cause him to twist his knee?” Pim asked.
“And another time some kid bought some video game from a garage sale, and it turned out it had the soul of some dead kid trapped inside and it killed him.” Charlie continued, without answering the question.
“Omigosh.” Pim covered his mouth with his hands. “That’s awful! The poor thing.”
Charlie stared at Pim blankly, not at all surprised he fell for that old Ben Drowned story, but the fact he hadn’t heard of it before. The two continued walking, regardless, and Charlie had two thoughts to cross the road and walk down the other side of the sidewalk when he saw that the entrance way to the Enchanted Forest was right in front of them.
The reason why?
That wizard what’s-his-face had his garage sale set up right on the sidewalk. A floating rug suspended a foot above the ground and atop it was balanced an array of items ranging from a toilet plunger, to some clear folders, and what appeared to be a magical ball that most likely either gave you some curse, or told the future.
“C’mon Pim, I don’t wanna mess with this nonsense.” Charlie began to walk.
“Oh but Charlie, we might find something magical!”
“Pim.”
But Pim was heading towards the garage sale, joining a few other magical looking creatures as well as regular critters and people. Charlie sighed heavily, gathered his strength, and followed after Pim. If he was gonna end up being messed around by some magical item, who was he to miss out on watching?
“WELCOME!” an elderly, decrepit looking old man announced as Pim approached. He was sitting in a lawn chair, his wizard robes pulled dangerously high that if it went any higher you’d be seeing his very special set of crystal balls. “To the GRAND garage sale of Mobglip! That’s me.”
“Dude, did you have to set up your entire garage sale on the sidewalk?” Charlie asked, eyeing the items. There was a rotating box of playing cards, but he looked at the old man.
“And deny you NORMIES the chance of magic and wonder?” Mobglip pushed a hand up his other sleeve, before throwing a handful of glitter into the air.
Charlie had to take a step back, on account of the last time glittery stuff was thrown in his face, he ended up blinded for a whole day. “Hey, careful! Jeez.”
The old man cackled hysterically as Pim continued to very carefully browse. He had his hands behind his back, nodding his head as he passed a few items, then came to a stop when he encountered a frog in a jar. The frog, looking like an almost doppelganger of himself. Same misshapen eyes, shaped head, only it was green and, of course, a frog.
Pim and the frog observed each other until a little girl rushed up, grabbed the jar and screeched at the top of her lungs: “MOMMY LOOK! A FROG! CAN I HAVE HIM PLEASE?!” And just as quick as she appeared, she and her mother rushed off with the frog towards the old man.
“Aw.” Pim smiled. Kids were an absolute joy.
“Pim, can we go?” Charlie was right there next to him, hands deeply set in his pockets as he glanced around. “There’s nothing here but garbage.”
Pim looked sullen for a moment before smiling. “Oh wait, what’s that?”
He made his way to one of the last items on the floating carpet. A mirror! Not an overly big fancy one you’d put up on your wall so you could admire yourself, but the kind of mirror mothers would have on their dressers so they could powder their noses before going out and about.
It had an ornate jewel laden frame that glittered and gleamed in the morning light. Charlie, groaning internally, followed Pim and stared at the mirror.
“Wow. A mirror.” he said flatly, observing his reflection and then looking back at him.
“Mm!” Pim smiled as he looked at himself, before looking at Charlie via his reflection. “It is very beautiful, but I don’t think I’d be able to afford it.”
“Why would you want to be able to afford anything at this shitty sale, man. I told you, there’s nothing.” Charlie rolled his eyes, but he looked back to Pim’s reflection in the mirror too. As best he could, as the stuff was floating a foot off the floor and Pim was fairly short.
“It wasn’t that bad, Charlie.” Pim turned to look up at his friend, but as he did, he felt his elbow slam into the mirror.
“Uh oh.”
Pim spun and tried to grab the mirror but he wasn’t fast enough, and Charlie didn’t even try to catch it. The mirror spun forwards before hitting the ground and shattered. Not just the mirror, but the entire thing. Frame, back, support, the entire thing instantly poofed into a million pieces.
The sounds of the Enchanted Forest froze and the world filled with silence.
“Oh no.”
“HARK! A VAGRANT!” the wizard screeched, “Look at what you have done!!”
“Oh no, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry!” Pim stuttered, “I-I’ll pay I’ll--”
“Oh come ON dude, you did that on purpose!” Charlie challenged all but immediately, glaring at the wizard. “Who positions a mirror so close to the edge like that? You’re running a SCAM, I can tell. C’mon, tell us. How much? Fifty bucks? One hundred?” he was all but ready to throw some hands, not at all considering just how tall the wizard looked as he was now standing.
“Two buckaroos.”
“Oh. Well, that’s reasonable.” Charlie moved to put his hands back in his pockets, but found there weren't any. As he began to look down, Pim spoke up.
“Here you go sir,” Pim was reaching into his back pocket but stopped. “Wait. Where's my wallet?”
When did he start wearing a hoodie? Pim looked down at himself and felt the world spin for a moment. He was much taller than he had been five seconds ago. He was a lot heavier too. And yellow. Pim stared at his hands, rough, calloused, dirty fingernails... before his eyes trailed to the figure standing beside him.
The three foot six pink body was staring at his hands in silent, abject horror. He spun around suddenly, looking up at the taller critter who now towered over him by two entire feet.
“PIM?” Charlie’s voice screamed, coming from Pim’s body.
“...ohmygosh.” Pim’s voice, coming from Charlie’s body. He raised his hands and covered his mouth in horror of the growing realisation.
“WELL? PAY UP.” the wizard screeched.
“Look at--look what you did to us, man!” Charlie spluttered, gesturing to himself. He was so short. Everyone was suddenly so much larger than him and blurrier, god DAMN Pim’s awful eyesight-- How did he live like this? Anything beyond an arms length away was all blurry. How in the Hell did he even drive??
“Oh please Mister Wizard,” Pim put his hands together, moving towards the aged man. “Please can’t you help us? We didn’t mean to knock your mirror down--”
“Total set up.” Charlie growled, frowning with Pim’s face.
“Pay up.” the old man held a wrinkly hand out.
“Um.” Pim looked down at his body before kneeling down, and grabbed Charlie’s hip with one hand making the smaller critter yelp in alarm and spin around.
“WHOA WHOA- WHAT THE HELL!”
“I need my wallet, it’s in my back pocket.”
“Then I’ll get it! Don’t go grabbing me like that without warning! I know this is your body man but, DUDE, Boundaries!”
Charlie fumbled, found Pim’s wallet, and pulled out the needed funds before throwing them at the wizard. “Here’s your stupid money. Now tell us how to turn back to normal! This is not how I want to spend the rest of my day, OR LIFE.”
“Ah, when the two captured in the reflection of the magic mirror truly walk a mile in the other's shoes and understand, then they shall trade back!”
“A magical riddle.” Pim gasped gently, cupping his face which now felt marginally fatter, and fuller, in his larger hands.
“Fuck that!” Charlie snapped. “Turn us back right now. Right now!” he snapped his fingers, pointing to himself and then at Pim.
“Sorry! Not my expertise!”
“WHAT?”
“Thanks for coming, everyone!”
There was a huge explosion of magical dust and glitter which, naturally, had both Pim and Charlie jump back in alarm. Pim even grabbed Charlie, though that looked much stranger now considering Pim towered over Charlie in the other’s body. Charlie blinked before pulling out of his own arms embrace. “Get off’ me.”
The wizard, his yard sale, and half the people who’d been in attendance were gone.
“OH COME ON, MAN!” Charlie screamed in utter frustration before he spun around and glared up at Pim. “You just HAD to go see that stupid yard sale, I told you it was a bad idea dude! Why didn’t you listen to me??”
“Charlie,” Pim looked so utterly pathetic and Charlie hated seeing that look on his own face. “I just wanted a look. Is that a crime?”
“No, but it should be.”
He took a few deep breaths, and began pacing around. Charlie was unaware of just how quickly he was walking in circles, in comparison to how slowly he normally went. Pim worried his fingers together before they found the drawstrings of Charlie’s hoodie and began tugging on them anxiously.
“Alright, fine. Fine, whatever. We’ve been through magical bullshit before--”
“Please don’t swear with my mouth.”
Charlie froze mid-step, and looked up at Pim. “Excuse me?”
“You swore.” Pim worried his bottom lip with his teeth. “P... Please don’t.”
“Dude. You’re- You are not telling me what I can or can’t say. If I wanna say fuck, or shit, or any other word you consider an ‘irredeemable swear’, tough tits.” Charlie growled angrily, though he knew he no longer held the same dominating glare he had while in his regular body.
“...Sorry.” Pim looked down at his feet and Charlie groaned internally.
“Auughhh. Dude.” Charlie had to take more calming breaths. ‘Okay. So he said, what? ‘Walk in each other's shoes’ ?” he looked down at their feet, frowning. “No not literally, that's too stupid. Besides, look at how massive my feet are, I mean, you KNOW what they say about guys with big feet.”
He watched as his own face blushed a brilliant shade of orange. Oh he did not like that. Pim was showing so much vulnerability in his body right now, nobody would think he was a natural born Alpha at this point.
“C’mon man, let’s get outta here.”
Not half an hour later, Charlie and Pim had repositioned and gathered themselves at Pim’s apartment. That meant Charlie had to find the keys to gain access and had been very frustrated at just how high the keyhole was in this stupid door. Why hadn’t he ever noticed Pim be challenged by it?
Now they were inside, and Charlie was actually grateful for Pim as they had made a very important stop before coming back to his home. They’d stopped at a thrift store and while there, both had found clothing much more suiting to their new forms. Charlie found an orange hood, grey pants, and nice enough second hand white shoes. Meanwhile Pim had found a button up short sleeved shirt, and blue shorts. He couldn’t find black shoes though and had settled on brown.
Feeling a lot more like himself helped, but man, this was a KIDS hoodie. That was just embarrassing.
Pim, meanwhile, was slowly going through his own apartment in Charlie’s body. He watched as Pim reached upwards and opened one of the top cupboards in his kitchen. It was empty inside save for a can of bug repellent. Why did Pim look like he was about to start crying?
“Dude. No. Stop. Don’t cry. My face doesn’t cry.”
“Huh?” Pim looked over at him.
“You look like you’re about to cry dude. Don’t.”
“Charlie I’ve... never been able to reach the top cupboards of anything without help. Without being lifted, or using a ladder.” Pim explained slowly as he moved along his kitchen counter, hand trailing along the top of it. “This is. This is new to me.”
“Ugh.” Charlie approached the couch and stopped, oh my God he had to climb UP the couch to get onto it? He frowned, grabbed onto the couch and indeed, pulled himself up and onto it. He felt like a kid again. He hated it.
“Um. Charlie?”
Turning his head Charlie looked up... and up... at himself. Oh God. This was the angle Pim saw him from all the time? I mean. He looked great from every angle, of course he did, but this was still the most bizarre experience he’d ever had, and he’d met the Devil.
“I have to. Um.” Pim fidgeted a little before leaning down and whispered into his ear. “I have to go to the toilet.”
“WHAT? NO.” Charlie stood on the couch, waving his hands back and forth before grabbing at Pim’s shoulders. “Dude no you are NOT seeing my dick!”
“B-but Charlie I REALLY need to go.” Pim squirmed a bit. “What did you even have for Breakfast?”
“I dunno man, seven coffees? I don’t remember.” Charlie pulled away and leaned against the back of the couch, shoving his hands into the new hoodies pockets. He pulled his phone out and tried swiping it open but... “Wait, c’mere.”
Reaching over he grabbed Pim’s wrist, brought his hand over and used his thumbprint to open his phone. “Thanks.”
“Charlie, I am not going to deny my body the use of a toilet.”
“MY body. Not yours.” Charlie corrected him as he began to Google ‘body swap bs’.
Pim frowned a little, before looking down at himself. “Sorry Charlie, I’m going or I’m going to have an accident, and then it will be even worse.”
Charlie climbed down off the couch as quickly as he could. “Pim? Pim. No. NO. Pim don’t you DARE HOLD MY DICK-- PIM!!”
He was already too late, the door to the bathroom slammed shut.
On the other side of the door Pim stood with his back pressing up against the door. Taking a few steadying, grounding breaths his eyes trailed from the floor to the toilet.
Everything was so... at level, and clear. He wasn’t used to this at all. Being able to see clearly was a blessing and a gift, though he knew he wasn’t going to be able to hold onto it. Whatever this wacky magical adventure the two had found themselves on this time won’t last forever.
You know what else couldn’t wait forever? His bladder. Charlie’s bladder. This was so confusing.
But! Business was business and this was not personal in any way, shape or form. He had to go to the toilet and that’s what he was going to do.
Charlie, waiting on the other side of the door, was sitting on the floor and hugging his small knees to his chest. Now he felt even tinier. How in the name of the Nine Layers of Hell did Pim live like this?
Poor bastard didn’t know what he was missing. That’s how the saying went. How could you miss what you never had? Well easy, now Pim would miss being tall. He’d be forced back into this tiny pink squishy body after being in his massively hot attractive body, so he could easily understand how Pim would miss it.
He heard the sounds of flushing, accompanied by the running water of a sink. He got up and waited longer. That sink was still going.
“What’re you doing in there, drowning me?” Charlie called through the shut door.
“Just a minute!” Pim answered from the other side.
Charlie did not like the sound of that. What in the Hell was he doing to his body in there? He reached for the handle again, having to jump just a bit to reach it. Even in his own apartment Pim couldn’t reach the door handles, it made him wonder if, when he was alone, he’d do his business with the door open.
The door finally opened and Pim walked out, not looking at all impressed, traumatised, or even annoyed.
“What took you so long?”
“I had to wash my hands. Then clean my nails. And wash my teeth. And freshen up my face. And comb my hair--I have hair, Charlie!”
“It’s my hair man, what the Hell!” Charlie glared up at himself, stood there wearing that stupid white shirt and blue shorts. Ugh, shorts did not suit his physique at all unless he was at the gym pulling reps. But Pim had been surprisingly firm about his shorts when they were buying them in the store.
“...Whatever. You good now?”
“Better.” Pim replied with a soft, small smile that had Charlie groaning internally.
“Any news on how to get our bodies back to normal?” Pim asked.
“Nothing I want to try.” Charlie groaned as he went back into the lounge to climb up onto the large piece of furniture.
“What is it?”
“One source says sex will do it.”
“W-what?!” Pim turned a brilliant shade of orange and pressed his hands to his cheeks. “No!”
“Yeah! Freaky motherfuckers...”
“Charlie..”
“Ugh.” he frowned as he looked over his phone which he had kept awake and not going back to sleep mode by keeping a small thumb permanently on the screen. “Another says we gotta sync up a dance routine.”
“That sounds fun!”
“No can do. I don’t dance.”
Charlie watched Pim approach and sit down on the couch besides him, heavily, causing the couch to bounce a little. “What else?”
“Kissing appears to be another one but that is NOT something we’re going to try.” Charlie explained as he continued to scroll down the page on his phone.
“Why not?”
The, normally, larger critter stopped before turning his eyes towards Pim. Toward himself. Pim was looking at him with such an innocent look on his face, an expression Charlie Dompler had not worn in a very, very long time. “Pim. I didn’t want you going to the toilet cuz you had to touch my dick. Do you really think I’d want to kiss you?”
Was that a flash of disappointment on his own face he saw? It was so incredibly quick, add to that Pim’s God awful eyesight, he really wasn’t sure what he’d seen. “It’s just an idea, Charlie. It might be what fixes this. Why don’t we try and, and if it doesn’t work we won't talk about it ever again!”
Charlie pursed his lips together.
Never talk about it again, huh?
That took him back to that alien spacecraft. How he’d been the one to decide they would cause mass genocide on an alien planet if it meant getting home again, because they would have taken it to their graves. If they were ready to do that, why not over something as simple as a kiss?
Oh, it would be so weird though. The last time Charlie kissed himself was when he was a pre-teen in his parents bathroom, kissing his reflection. Practice was important! With a nose as impressive as his own, even at that young an age, he had to learn the correct way to kiss unless he wanted to take someone’s eye out.
“ALRIGHT. Fine. We do it once. Didn’t work? Didn’t work.”
Pim clapped his hands together. “Yay!”
“Do NOT say that.”
Alright so. Kissing himself. So this is what all those babes he’d kissed saw. He now fully understood why every single one of them wanted to kiss him, he had such thick lovely lips. Funny how he never really noticed that till now.
“So be honest. Is this your first?” Charlie asked, grinning.
“I. Um. I don’t. No comment.” Pim stammered, fidgeting with the hoodie’s drawstrings.
“Ah, I see.” he nodded sagely. “First time.”
Pim blushed even harder than before. “Charlie come on, let’s just. Let’s just get it over with.”
“Alright alright. Sorry future Pim’s wife (as if),” Charlie grabbed his own face in his now small, pink hands. Good lord, those cheeks were squishy. “Pucker up big boy.”
The kiss was very brief. Like the peck kind of kiss you gave your grandma when you wished her a Happy Birthday on account of not wanting to taste that hardened, old, walnut like skin texture old people seemed to get.
“Did it work?” Charlie asked.
Pim reached up, feeling the nose still firmly affixed to his face. “No.” he was burning a deep hue of orange.
Charlie wanted to say ‘see, I was right’ but stopped himself. That expression on his face? He couldn’t place it and it was very perplexing not knowing what your face was doing with itself. Pim’s expression hardened a little. “I think I know what we have to do.”
“Oh really.” Charlie folded his arms expectantly.
“Why don’t we... do what he said? Walk a mile in each other's shoes?” Pim asked, looking down at their feet.
“You can’t be serious.”
“I am! Charlie, the wizard said out right if we walk a mile in one another’s shoes. What if that is just the straight forward answer? It’s like... like with the tree and the thorn.” Pim hated bringing up their adventure in the Enchanted Forest because it brought back memories of Mip. That, and what Mip’s presence and Charlie’s grand adventure had done to him.
He had become so ugly and consumed by jealousy.
“This is gonna suck. I mean good luck to you man, I don’t know how you’ll get these,” he reached down and grabbed at one of the shoes he was wearing. “To stay on your feet.”
“Oh I’m sure I’ll manage.”
~*~
“Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.”
Pim whimpered with every step. He had to, in the end, squeeze his old shoes over Charlie’s toes and was now making his way down the street looking like someone going through an extremely bad time.
Charlie, meanwhile, was taking big steps to avoid falling out of the big white shoes entirely. It was very awkward for both of them and they were fully aware that they were being stared at by not just people on the streets, but people driving by.
“Walk a mile in each other's shoes huh.” Charlie said, dryly, frowning.
“I just -ow- think it will be -ow- the easiest solution!”
Charlie truly hoped it was. Because he’d been fighting the need to use a restroom too but he was made of stronger stuff than Pim, no way in Hell would he be touching Pim’s body like that if he could help it. It was just plain wrong. He knew Pim very well, they had SEEN each other practically naked, but that didn’t mean he wanted to go touch the guys' privates.
He wondered why Pim hadn’t commented on what he’d experienced in the bathroom but then again, why would he have to? That was weird.
“Right so we’re reaching the end of the mile walk,” Charlie looked at his phone which was counting their steps and distance travelled. “If we’re not back to normal by the end of this, you owe me a beer or something.”
Pim wasn’t sure if his small body could process the amounts of alcohol he had seen Charlie put away. But he nodded his head. “I understand.”
“Good.”
The two began to count together as they walked painfully, and awkwardly. Counting down the last stretch of this stupid mile walk. They counted in time with one another, in step with each other, a passerby might even be so bold to say it almost looked like the two critters were having fun.
“Three. Two. One. Zero.”
The two came to a stop and stood there. If there was supposed to be a brilliant flash of light, or a delightfully magical feeling to overwhelm them both, well, nothing happened. Charlie stood there for a moment, eyes shut, before opening them. Nope, things were still blurry.
“God damn it dude!!” he shouted, before taking another step forward in order to turn to look up at Pim. “I TOLD you man, wizards are pieces of shit and you can never trust--”
Oh. There was the feeling.
Charlie’s head spun, it felt as though he had a cloud filling his head from the inside out and it almost felt fit to burst. He swore out loud, and Pim appeared to be going through the exact same feeling as he was grappling with his head. Their worlds spun, and they tripped, both ending up sprawled out on the ground like a pair of party animals on a Saturday night.
“Ughh.” Charlie groaned as he squeezed his eyes open slowly.
His vision was clear.
He sat up immediately and lifted his hands up in front of his face. They were yellow. He grabbed at his nose and squeezed, before he let out a shaky laugh. “YES, YES DUDE!” he shouted as he raised his fists above his head. “I'M BACK, BABY!”
“Charlie.”
Hearing Pim’s muffled voice, Charlie looked around before looking down. It seemed as though during the spinning they had tripped up over one another because now Pim was being squashed beneath Charlie’s weight.
“Oh fuck dude, sorry.” Charlie immediately got up and off of the smaller critter, reaching down to take both his hands and helped him to his feet. He, now, actually understood how sucky it was being Pim, and imagining being stuck under his weight as Pim? That must have been like carrying a mountain.
“Ughh...” Pim pressed a hand to his spinning head. “I guess... we must have been a step short...?”
It didn’t matter. Charlie was all but beaming now as Pim looked up at him. It was so rare seeing Charlie actually, genuinely smile without a hint of sarcasm or malice hidden behind those lips.
He offered a smile in return to his best friend.
“Well! I guess next time we avoid the garage sale, huh?” he asked meekly.
“Hell yeah dude. No more garage sales. We’ll go to thrift stores like Mackelmore instructed us to do.”
Pim found himself laughing, unable to help himself. It was just such a relief to be back to his normal self even if he hadn’t found being in Charlie’s body all that awful. It had been nice, being tall and being able to see clearly. But standing here with Charlie, who had joined in with his laughter, it was okay.
They didn’t have to tell anyone about this.
He certainly wouldn’t tell a soul about how he and Charlie had kissed.
That, he would be taking to his grave. Held close within his heart for the rest of his life.
Fin