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Each of the Dead Poets found themselves in different places after graduation and college. Despite the distance they never lost touch and in the end it was a good thing. They had a shared life experience, one surrounded by turmoil and trauma. Not many people in the world went through what they did. They saw the light at the end of tunnel but before they could get to it they lost a friend, their teacher, and some of them a school. So when the torture of the future they tried so desperately to avoid came crushing down on them they had each other. The only issue being the distance keeping them from seeing things right away.
Luckily for Todd, Charlie had ended up in the city just like him. Todd kept his quiet persona but was less outspoken which worked in favor with Charlie’s still boisterous personality. Todd became an English professor at NYU and Charlie found himself on Wall Street, a shark in the business, his father no longer deeming him incompetent considering he was now more successful than him. Either way the two ended up having each other, only a 30 minute cab ride from the other’s apartment. They met weekly for dinner or lunch and it was always nice to have a familiar face.
Charlie had been uptown for work. Meeting with investors and attending fancy lunches and dinner shows. Basically kissing ass and praying they’d shake on the deal. He was also bitterly annoyed when he had to cancel lunch with Todd and make plans for dinner. This bothered him because Todd didn’t have any classes today and without Charlie he would never leave the house. Todd still needed to learn how to live a little and Charlie figured it was fate he ended up near him stead of any of the other poets. So Charlie with a permanent scowl walked beside his business partner in the Broadway district, annoyed he sat through an entire play just for the investors to say they were considering a different direction. So here he was stuck uptown, annoyed about work, and disappointed he missed lunch with his best friend for something as stupid as that.
“We didn’t need them anyways Charles, we have other investors” Benjamin, his business partner pried as he tried to keep up with him.
“I know, I’m just annoyed they wasted my time. I enjoy theater but that was torture” Charlie grunted, realizing twenty minutes into the show the investors were freaks and knew nothing about real entertainment.
“Yeah I could’ve gone my entire life without seeing that” he agreed, knowing full well he didn’t understand a damn thing that happened the entire time he watched the play.
“Idiots, all of them” suddenly Charlie stopped, Benjamin practically running in to him from trying to keep up the entire time.
“Woah, why we stopping?” Benjamin caught his balance and moved back from Charlie where he almost knocked him face first to the cement.
“Todd?” Benjamin looked up to see Charlie catching the attention of a blonde gentleman stepping out of the theater.
“Charlie, what’re you doing on Broadway?” Todd meekly asked, the brunette boy approaching him. Charlie assessed the situation, surprised to see Todd out, that was until he looked up at the sign above the theater. A Midsummer Nights Dream.
“I should be asking you the same thing” he said, trying to read any emotions coming from the boy. Todd went to speak but was caught of abruptly.
“Mr. Anderson, you forgot your coat” a theater worker rushed from the doors, holding out his jacket. Todd happily accepted it. “Maybe you wouldn’t forget it if you stayed till the end of the show for once”
“Thank you Margaret” Todd acknowledged her, wincing slightly that he was caught red handed by Charlie.
“Margaret” Charlie stopped the woman from walking away and she turned with a smile. “How long have you been putting on this show?”
“About a month and a half now. Mr. Anderson here enjoys it so much he comes once a week, sometimes twice if we’re lucky” Todd’s shoulders fell and Charlie nodded and thanked her as she disappeared back into the theater.
“Do you want to explain?” Charlie pressed, Todd struggling to make eye contact with him.
“You know I don’t” Charlie sighed, pressing a hand to his face. Benjamin stood confused but patiently waited nonetheless.
“Do you know how bad this looks? Todd why would you do this to yourself?” Charlie wanted to cry. He never ever wanted to relive that night again. To this day it was still the worst 24 hours of his life and here Todd was trying to relive it.
“I don’t know Charlie?! I just do” Benjamin was surprised to hear someone refer to the man as Charlie and not Charles. Sighing Charlie turned to his business partner.
“Head back to the office, let Clarice know to clear my schedule the rest of the day. I have to deal with this” Benjamin nodded, feeling he already peeked to far into Charlie’s personal life than he ever wanted too. With zero hesitation he rushed off, ready to finish his workday.
“I need you to explain this to me Todd, or else I can’t help you” Charlie pleaded and Todd sighed as he looked down to the coat in his arms.
“Can we at least sit down?” he asked and Charlie nodded, starting back on his pace as he bustled down the city sidewalks to a diner that was sure to appear. He grimaced at the Worlds Best Coffee sign in the window that every diner in this God forsaken city seemed to have.
“You want to explain it now?” Charlie asked as he went to take a sip of the worlds best coffee. Todd kept his gaze on the table, not wanting to meet his eyes.
“It started when you had to cancel lunch since something got messed up at work. I didn’t want to sit home so I went for a walk. That’s when I saw the sign. At first I wanted to run away but then I realized I hadn’t seen the play since that night. I practically knew it word for word since Neil made me run lines with him every chance we got. It felt like I watched it yesterday even though I hadn’t seen it in years” Charlie felt his heart tighten. They had all been at the play but Todd was the one who practiced with him. Todd played every part alongside Neil’s Puck.
“So you went inside?” Charlie egged on, needing to know the dark thoughts in the boys head. They all struggled with the shadow of grief, it’s overbearing weight crushing their shoulders over the smallest things. For Charlie it was soccer. Him and Neil had played together since children and after he died he never played or watched again.
“I figured it would be a good thing. Give myself a new memory but then the end came. It was Pucks big speech and suddenly I couldn’t breathe. That was Neil’s moment, I remember cheering so loud my lungs hurt, then I remembered it was pretty much the last thing I ever heard him say. So I ran out, too afraid to relive it” Todd said and this made Charlie more confused.
“If it was too hard why did you go back?” he asked, leaning forward on the table wanting to know where this was going.
“I wanted to find the strength to finish it. I never could though. After a while it became less about finishing it and more about getting lost in the play. Feeling like that 17 year old kid again who just saw his best friend follow his dreams. It felt like when Neil was still alive” this answer hit Charlie like a ton of bricks. This was torture and he had gone too long without realizing Todd was trapped in an endless cycle of torment.
“Todd-” Charlie held his face in his hands, not knowing what to say. He wasn’t prepared for this, this was worse then having nightmares about that night or crying when it all became too much.
“I know, I know I need to stop. It’s hard though, when I’m home with nothing to do I started remembering and getting upset and when I sit in that play for at least an hour it’s as if nothing ever happened” Todd told him and Charlie nodded, understanding wanting to feel like the people they were before tragedy struck.
“You can’t go back Todd, if you ever find yourself needing to go you call me. I’ll cancel whatever I’m doing, say it’s a family emergency because you’re the only family I have Todd and I can’t let this consume you” Todd nodded, feeling guilty for having kept this secret for so long.
“Okay, I promise” with a content nod Charlie accepted this answer, not needing to have anymore depressing conversation.
After they ate their meals and Charlie made sure Todd got home he found himself unable to stop thinking about what Todd had been doing. Tugging his tie from his neck and getting ready for bed he kept going over it, again and again, wanting to understand how he could put himself through that. Yet the longer he thought about it he realized how little closure they all got. The days after Neil’s death were filled with so many things. In a matter of a few days they went through losing a friend from suicide, a funeral, their teacher getting fired, and for Charlie, getting kicked out of school. Everyone was so focused on finding who to blame, including the Poets, that none of them ever came to terms with the fact that Neil was really gone. So with this in mind he came up with an idea.
Putting the plan together wasn’t hard. Using his connections he found a way. So even though Todd thought this was just a normal dinner for the two of them he actually had no idea what was to come. So Charlie knocked on his door, signature smirk proud on his face as he waited for Todd to open it.
“Hey Charlie-” Todd froze as he saw not only Charlie but Knox, Chris, Meeks, and Pitts standing behind him. “What’s this?”
“We’re all going to dinner, and a show” Charlie reached forward and Todd saw the familiar ticket in his hand. When Charlie had reached out to the boys and told them about what was happening they all agreed immediately to help Todd through this. After all every single one of them needed it too.
“I thought it was a bad idea” Todd said, already growing nervous at the thought.
“I did. I still do. Then I realized the reason you felt that way about the play was because you never got closure. None of us did. So we’re gonna stay to the end, and hopefully when we all get through it we will feel a bit better” Charlie said before stepping to the side and gesturing to follow them out. Todd nodded, still nervous as they left his apartment and made their way out to the loud streets.
It was like deja-vu sitting in those seats all together again. Every single one of them remembered the night like yesterday. Charlie nearly jumped as the orchestra started in the pitch black of the theater. Knox squeezed Chris’ hand like his life depended on it. Todd tried to settle his nerves as they waited for it to start. When the actor who played Puck appeared it was as if the whole group couldn’t breathe. He had the same look in his eyes that Neil did all those years ago and Charlie felt himself begin to cry. Pitts and Meeks looked at him with sympathy as they all faced this nightmare together. Suddenly Todd’s hand appeared on Charlie’s back and gave it a comforting rub.
When the end of the play approached Charlie felt the air surrounding him thin. There it was, the feeling Todd had described. This was the last moment they saw their friend with a smile on his face. When he came out for that final bow and looked so fucking proud. Their friend who deserved the world and everything it had to offer because if anyone of them deserved to be in this world so did he. So Charlie sucked in a breath and kept his eyes on Todd who looked like he wanted to flee his seat. All six of them grabbed hands and prepared for it to end and the curtain to drop.
“If we have unearned luck. Now to 'scape the serpent's tongue, We will make amends ere long; Else the Puck a liar call; So, good night unto you all. Give me your hands, if we be friends, And Robin shall restore amends” chills filled their bones as the last line was spoken and the curtain dropped. As Charlie turned to Todd he saw the boy absolutely broken, sobs raked his body. The boys all wrapped themselves around him in a hug. Bystanders clearly confused by their emotional behavior but this was a beautiful moment for the group. They faced their demons and they did it together.
“See Mr. Anderson, the end is beautiful” Margaret said as the exited the theater and he smiled at her.
“It really is, thank you Margaret” Todd told her and she waved as the group followed him out the doors.
“That was intense” Knox sighed, his arm wrapped tightly around his wife.
“I never realized how heavy that moment was until now” Meeks muttered pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose.
“Neil would’ve loved this, going to Broadway and seeing the shows. Hell even being in them” Charlie said and the group nodded as they reminisced their friend.
“He’s with us now, I know it” Pitts smiled and Todd looked up at the sky, barely any stars visible, a violet haze around the earth.
“He changed my life, I wish he would’ve stuck around to see how it turned out” Todd muttered and Charlie tugged him in a hug, thankful he could help his friend.
“He was my best friend, my first friend. The only guy who put up with me until I met you dorks” Charlie said as he pulled away.
“His heart was too big, he would’ve given each of us the world if he could” Knox told them and Chris smiled, never having met their beloved friend. But she remembered him in that play, it was the best local theater she had ever seen and despite not knowing him she knew he would’ve changed the world.
“To Neil, and us. Remember the powerful play goes on and we may contribute a verse”