Chapter Text
I’m not your lover
I’m not your friend
I am something that you’ll never comprehend
No need to worry
No need to cry
I’m your messiah and you’re the reason why, ‘cause
You, I would die for you
Darling if you want me to
“Okuyasu?” Josuke’s throat was hoarse from yelling, the words strained and higher than usual, but he couldn’t bring himself to be embarrassed by the voice cracks.
Okuyasu looked back up at him from where his head lay on his lap, blinking against the sun as a bead of sweat ran down his forehead and mixed with the drying blood.
“Okuyasu, are you okay?” Josuke’s uniform was ruined, but he still cringed as he felt the dampness seep through his pant knees from the earlier rain while he knelt over Okuyasu, hands gripping his shoulders. “It’s okay, we got him, everything’s gonna be okay.”
“Who…” Okuyasu squinted up at him, bringing one bloodied hand up to rub at his eyes. “Who are you?”
Josuke stared down at him, eyebrows creasing in surprise. “It’s me, Josuke. Are you alright? Did you hit your head or something?”
He groaned a little as he continued to blink blankly at Josuke, eyes devoid of any recognition. “Josuke?” He formed the name with his mouth, sounding foreign as it rolled off his tongue, like he was saying it for the first time.
“Hey, man. This isn’t funny, knock it off,” Josuke chuckled nervously, shaking him a little. “Come on, it’s me.”
Okuyasu looked around them. Josuke knew there was chaos on the streets after the events of the morning, but he couldn’t bring himself to care when his name sounded new as it passed Okuyasu’s lips.
“Where are we?” Okuyasu asked. “What happened? Why are you injured?”
Josuke looked down at his stomach, the wooden post in his side had been mostly forgotten after seeing his best friend’s face again, thinking he was dead for those few excruciating minutes. “I… You… I don’t…” Josuke could feel his breathing becoming uneven, what could he even say? What was wrong with him?
“Josuke-kun,” a hand on his shoulder brought him out of his trance. “Is he okay?”
“I don’t know,” Josuke ignored the pathetic crack in his voice, the damp feeling growing in his eyes as he looked up at Jotaro.
“What’s wrong?” He heard Koichi as the short boy approached them. “Is he hurt?”
Josuke shook his head. “Crazy Diamond fixed everything, he’s just…”
“Who’re these guys?” Okuyasu began to sit up to Josuke’s surprise, forgetting the boy that lay in his lap.
“What?” Koichi laughed. “Come on Okuyasu, it’s us!”
Okuyasu just blinked at them, first at Koichi as he was at his eye level when they sat, and then up at Jotaro.
“What’s your name?” Jotaro asked.
“Okuyasu,” he replied. “Who are you, and why are you all covered in blood?”
“What’s the last thing you can remember, Okuyasu?” Jotaro asked again.
“Uhh,” Okuyasu brought a hand up to his chin. “Aniki and I were watching TV at our new house, and we had just decided to turn in for the night, and then I woke up here and the sky was all crazy bright and this guy was shaking me,” he motioned towards Josuke.
“What?” Josuke scoffed. “No way, you can’t have just forgotten everything!”
“Josuke, calm down,” Jotaro’s voice was stern, but seemingly sympathetic in the way he always was. “He’s probably hit his head at some point in the fight.”
“No, no he can’t have, I was watching him the whole time since he came out of the house,” Josuke insisted. “Kira got him, I healed him, but I thought he was dead, he got back up and could remember me fine, and now he’s suddenly forgotten everything! No way I believe it, stop joking around Okuyasu,” Josuke turned to him with a frown.
“I’m sorry, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Okuyasu raised his hands, grimacing. “Anyways, where am I? I need to get home and check on my bro.”
Koichi hiccuped nervously, his mouth contorted into a nervous smile when Josuke turned to him with an equally nauseous face.
“About that,” Koichi began.
“Koichi-kun,” Jotaro interrupted, letting Josuke breathe a sigh of relief. “Could you get an ambulance for these two? Josuke’s still injured, and Okuyasu needs to see a doctor, he might have a concussion.”
“He doesn’t have a concussion, Crazy Diamond would’ve fixed it!” Josuke scowled at his nephew.
“Maybe it couldn’t, have you ever cured a brain injury?”
“Well, no, but I’m sure I could-”
“Just go to the hospital Josuke,” Jotaro sighed. “I know this is hard but it’s better to be safe and get Okuyasu the help he needs instead of being selfish.”
A pang of shame hit Josuke’s stomach, and he sighed, slumping in his position knelt next to the now upright Okuyasu. “Okay, I’m sorry. You’re right, Jotaro-san.”
“Okuyasu-kun,” Jotaro turned to him. “I’m sorry, but it seems you’ve lost some memories. I promise we’re friends. You don’t have to trust me, but please trust us enough to go to the hospital and have yourself checked up.”
“What?” Okuyasu’s eyes widened comically. “That’s crazy. I don’t trust you though.”
“Josuke, what’s something only a friend would know that could convince him,” Jotaro prompted.
“Oh, um… I guess you…” Josuke stumbled over his words, his brain running at a thousand miles an hour to pick something appropriate.
“What’s his favourite movie?” Koichi asked.
“Pale Flower,” Josuke answered quickly. “We’ve watched it a thousand times.”
“Wow, that’s right!” Okuyasu’s eyes lit up. “That’s so weird. How do you know that?”
“Because you’re my best friend, dude,” Josuke answered, and it was the most obvious thing he had ever said.
“Oh,” Okuyasu’s mouth formed the little ‘o’ it always did when he was surprised. “Geez, okay, cool man.”
✮
The ambulance was bright and sterile, the paramedics wrapped gauze around his now bare middle, where they had removed the wooden post, and instructed him to apply pressure. Josuke couldn’t stop looking over at Okuyasu, who had no external injuries thanks to Crazy Diamond, as the paramedic shone a torch in his eyes and he squinted and struggled against the light.
“Follow my finger,” the paramedic instructed Okuyasu, and Josuke couldn’t focus on his own pain as he watched the unfamiliar boy follow the instruction without any cheeky remarks or stupid misunderstandings.
“Keep applying pressure,” his paramedic demanded as she focused on a cut to his cheek. “We’ll be at the hospital soon, just hold on.”
He didn’t understand why everyone was so stressed over him, it was Okuyasu they should be worried about, Josuke wasn’t even in that much physical pain. Mentally, he was in anguish, watching his best friend struggle to remember his name. He had said Josuke’s name, but it sounded wrong, it didn’t have the usual warmth to it. It sounded new and foreign in his mouth. It wasn’t new, Okuyasu had said it plenty of times.
Josuke was glad he was okay, obviously. He thought he was dead for a few excruciating minutes, the worst minutes of his life. He was alive, that’s all that mattered. He seemed fine when he reappeared from inside the house, he could remember Josuke then, but now? Why was Josuke’s name new in his mouth?
“Pressure,” the paramedic reminded him as his focus slipped, and he pressed against his side again.
Maybe the adrenaline was wearing off, because now was when it began to hurt. He winced, and watched as the paramedic began to look concerned.
“Do you need a painkiller?” She asked, and he nodded. “How’s the pain level, scale of one to ten?”
“Seven? Eight, maybe,” he groaned as she stuck a needle into his thigh. “Thanks.”
“You’re very brave,” she said. “Most sixteen year olds would be crying if they had a post stuck inside of them.”
“I’m not like most sixteen year olds,” he chuckled. “This does really hurt, though.”
“No matter how big you are, this’ll hurt,” she offered him a sympathetic smile.
“You think I’m big?” Josuke’s ego swelled as he puffed up a little, the painkiller already starting to kick in. “I mean, I work out every now and then…”
She shook her head with a chuckle. “You two are the biggest sixteen year olds I’ve ever met, are you on steroids or something?”
“All natural, baby,” Josuke held back a laugh at his own words as the paramedic continued to laugh, leaning in to finish patching up his face.
“Maybe if you were a bit older I’d be charmed,” she mumbled, sticking her tongue between her teeth in focus as she placed a band-aid on his cheek. “There, that’s all I can do before you get to the hospital. You’ll need stitches on your face, chest, and side, everything else will heal on its own.”
Josuke nodded, and looked over at Okuyasu, who was looking over at him blankly.
“You okay, Okuyasu?” Josuke asked, trying to hide the worry in his voice.
“Yeah,” he sounded breathless. “My head hurts, though.”
“He’s in much better shape than you,” the paramedic attending him sighed. “Probably concussion, and some amnesia, but that should hopefully wear off.”
“Okay,” Josuke nodded. “How long until he’s back to normal?”
“You’ll have to ask a doctor at the hospital,” the paramedic explained. "In my experience, it should wear off in a week or two."
“I hope you’re right,” Josuke mumbled, looking over at Okuyasu again. He hoped Okuyasu would come back. His stupidly funny and obnoxious Okuyasu, who would laugh at jokes five minutes after they’ve been told when the punchline clicked in his head, who would tackle Josuke randomly, who would zone out in the middle of the conversation and make Josuke repeat multiple minutes of what he was saying. He wanted his Okuyasu back, not the version of him he had met back in April, confused and angry before softening and becoming his best friend.
At the hospital, Josuke’s injuries were treated first, and he regrettably had to leave Okuyasu in the emergency room. As the doctor weaved stitches into his forehead, he wondered just how bad his memory loss was. He obviously remembered Keicho, but probably not his death. Had he forgotten everything with Chilli Pepper? What about Shigechi? Had he forgotten about all the days they had spent playing video games at Josuke’s house? Had he forgotten Josuke’s mum? What about the times they skipped class for no real reason but to hang out? How they had sat on the classroom windowsill all lunch and talked about complete nonsense? Had he forgotten about the time their hands had touched and Josuke had interwoven their fingers in a way that best friends wouldn’t have? Josuke didn’t want him to forget about all of the time they had spent together these past few months. He couldn’t let him. He began to make a mental note of everything he needed to tell Okuyasu about, maybe to prompt some memories of his own.
He needed to tell him about his family first. Okuyasu could only remember up to just before they met, based on his recollection of moving to their new house in Morioh. Okuyasu wouldn’t remember Keicho's death. How the hell would Josuke tell him about that - would he hide the truth from him until he remembered or just tell him? Of course, explaining how Keicho died would also involve telling Okuyasu how they met, which could get the ball rolling in his memory, or make him hate Josuke and question if he was involved in his brother’s death.
He couldn’t think about that now, not when Okuyasu had just come back to him. Different, but alive.
He needed to tell him about Tonio’s, how it’s his favourite restaurant and they love going there together because Tonio gives them free meals. Would forgetting about Tonio’s mean Josuke could watch his reactions to the food for the first time again? Maybe that wouldn’t be a bad thing.
He needed to tell him about Shigechi. That wouldn’t be as hard to explain. They had a friend, he was killed by Kira, and they defeated Kira. Josuke could admit to missing Shigechi a lot, as annoying as he was. How would he explain the whole ordeal with Kira? It seemed simple enough, but if Okuyasu was still as slightly stupid as he always was, he might find it hard to follow.
He didn’t realise he was back in the waiting room at first, just letting himself be directed by nurses until Okuyasu appeared in front of him, pursing his lips in the stupid way he always did when he was thinking too hard for his singular braincell to cope.
“Yeah, you seem like we could be friends,” he nodded approvingly. “You look pretty cool.”
“Thanks, man,” Josuke chuckled to himself. “How are you?”
“Doc said I should have my memories back in two weeks most,” he shrugged.
Josuke breathed a sigh of relief, nodding mainly to reassure himself that everything will be okay.
“But, uh, they said I didn’t have an emergency contact on my profile,” Okuyasu brought a hand up to his chin. “Which is weird, since Aniki has always been that for me.”
Josuke tensed, swallowing nervously as he watched Okuyasu squint at nothing in particular. “About that,” he muttered. “You should come around to my place. Your brother… he isn’t around at the moment.”
“Hah? Why not?” He huffed. “He doesn’t just leave like that!”
“No, no,” Josuke shook his head. “It’s fine, there’s a good reason. I’ll tell you everything once we get home.”
He sighed. “Fine, yeah, sure. What did you say your name was again?”
God, Josuke couldn’t do this. Okuyasu looked at him so sceptically, none of the smiles and charm he was used to, none of him .
“Josuke,” he responded as calmly as he could, choosing to ignore the crack in his voice as he did.
“You seem like a cool guy, Josuke-kun,” he nodded.
“Yeah?” He couldn’t stop his little smile. “Thanks, dude.”
“Course,” he shrugged. “Lead the way, man.”
✮
Josuke watched as the colour drained from Okuyasu’s face.
“Aniki,” he whispered to himself, rubbing his face blankly as his eyes began to shine with the beginnings of tears. “How did it…”
“There was a stand user, Akira,” Josuke kept his voice level, crossed legged across from his best friend on his bed. “He’s in prison now. Not for murder, he stole a bunch of stuff. But we threatened the hell out of him if he tried to escape.”
Okuyasu sniffled, rubbing the sleeve of his soiled uniform jacket across his eyes as he took a deep breath.
“Hey,” Josuke cooed, trying to stay as calm as he could for his friend. “You can cry, if you want. He died defending you from Akira.”
Okuyasu shook his head, letting out a shaky breath. “Don’t wanna cry.”
“That’s fine,” Josuke assured. “We can go visit his grave tomorrow.”
He nodded. “I’d like that.”
“We go often,” Josuke explained. “You always leave incense and offerings, I do too. I didn’t know him that well, since we only met once and we were fighting the whole time, but he saved you so I’m very grateful for him. If he didn’t save you I wouldn’t have a best friend.”
Okuyasu nodded again, looking out of Josuke's window rather than at him.
Josuke did his best to explain everything he could from those past few months, starting with Keicho and leading up to the mystery of Kira’s identity. He explained how Tonio’s was his favourite restaurant, how they had defeated Chilli Pepper and avenged Keicho, when they found Shizuka, the tower, tried to get him to remember Reimi, or Mikitaka, Yukako, Shigechi, Aya, Josuke’s old man, Yuya, anyone. Okuyasu couldn’t remember anything that Josuke was describing.
“So, he got run over by an ambulance…” Okuyasu repeated. “After all the fighting he just got… run over?”
“I guess so,” Josuke shrugged. “I just hope there aren’t any other stand users hanging around in Morioh trying to kill us, after Kira’s father turned so many people.”
“Jeez,” Okuyasu rubbed the back of his neck and pursed his lips the way he always did when he was thinking. “What’s the deal with this town?”
Josuke couldn’t help but smile seeing the little habit Okuyasu’s body hadn’t forgotten, reminding him that his best friend wasn’t gone. “It’s a bit crazy,” he shrugged. “But I love it.”
“Do I love it?” Okuyasu asked.
“I don’t know,” he thought back. “I’ve never really asked.”
“Well, from what you’ve told me I think I do,” he smiled in the same stupid way he always did. “What about you? What are you like? What do we do?”
“We watch a lot of movies,” Josuke recalled. “That’s how I knew Pale Flower is your favourite. We also ride around town a lot.”
“Oh, do I still have my motorcycle?” Okuyasu asked, smiling slightly.
“Well…” Josuke grimaced. “You kinda destroyed it.”
Okuyasu groaned. “Dammit. That thing is so cool.”
“Yeah, I was so jealous of it and then we had to smash it up when Akira followed us in it,” he shrugged. “But you got a new bike, not a motorbike though.”
“Is it a cool bike?” He asked, looking slightly glum at the loss of his motorcycle.
“Duh. All your stuff is cool, because you’re cool dude,” Josuke shrugged. “You wouldn’t be my best friend if you weren’t cool.”
“Well, I think you’re cool,” Okuyasu gave him a dumb look that made him almost melt. “Like, your hair is awesome dude.”
“Yeah?” Josuke flashed a casual smile despite the roller coaster in his stomach as he adjusted some of the strands that fell out of place in the fight. “It’s not very neat at the moment, since I just almost died and haven’t redone it.”
“I think it’s cool anyway, it really suits you,” Okuyasu nodded.
“Thanks dude,” Josuke tried to hide the sensitivity in his voice. “It’s funny, you’re acting like you but it still feels like you’re not really here.”
Okuyasu looked a little helpless as he looked down at his lap. “Sorry,” he mumbled. “I am trying to remember you, I promise.”
“No, it’s not your fault bro,” Josuke sighed. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. It’s just…”
Okuyasu looked back up at him, and now it was Josuke’s turn to look down in his lap.
“You okay?” Okuyasu asked.
“I… I thought you died… while we were fighting Kira,” Josuke mumbled, trying as hard as possible to keep his voice level as it threatened to tremble. “I seriously… thought I’d lost you.”
Okuyasu stayed quiet, just watching as Josuke took deep breaths and tried as hard as possible to stop his lips wobbling.
“And now…” he started, and took another deep breath and closed his eyes. “And now you’re back, but it doesn’t feel like you, but at the same time it does because you’re… you’re you , but different, and I… I still feel like I’ve lost my best friend.”
“I’ll remember,” Okuyasu insisted. “I… I promise I’ll remember as soon as possible.”
“It’s not your fault though, it’s mine. I’m being stupid and selfish, because of course you’ll remember soon, and I’m here acting like you’re… like you’re dead or something.”
“Hey,” Okuyasu sighed, and Josuke felt a hand slide into his own. “I’m here. You’re not being selfish.”
Josuke’s eyes shot up to Okuyasu’s, and god, he could lose himself in those black spheres. Even if the recognition wasn’t fully there, his expression was definitely his; the concern he had grown to know after the series of dangerous events they had found themselves in over the months since they’d met, and he crumbled a little more.
He pulled Okuyasu closer, wrapping one arm over his shoulder and the other around his torso, and held him as close as he could, shoving his face into his shoulder and not letting a single tear fall as he breathed Okuyasu in, tried to memorise him just in case anything could ever try to take him away again, not that Josuke would let anyone take him, ever.
“Hey,” Okuyasu cooed as he lightly hugged back. “I’m sorry, I’m here.”
“Stop apologising, idiot,” Josuke mumbled into his shirt. “I’m sorry.”
Okuyasu ran a rough hand along Josuke’s back, and placed a hand on the nape of his neck when Josuke showed no signs of breaking the hug.
“God,” Josuke sniffled as he pulled away. “Jesus, sorry about that.”
“It’s okay,” Okuyasu nodded. “That felt… familiar. Do we hug often?”
“Not really, not like that,” Josuke rubbed at his nose, which he hoped wasn’t red. “We should probably get changed, we’re still in our ratty uniforms.”
“Should we go to my house to get some stuff for me?”
“Nah, you can just borrow some of my stuff, we’re basically the same size,” Josuke muttered as he stood and began searching his cupboard for some of his larger t-shirts.
And yeah, maybe he was exploiting this situation a little to see Okuyasu in one of his shirts, but he also could not be bothered sneaking past his mum to go down the street to Okuyasu's house.
“Thanks,” Okuyasu took the shirt Josuke offered, a faded navy Dark Side of the Moon shirt he found at a second-hand store, and a pair of sweatpants.
“You can change in the-” Josuke started as he searched for his favourite Purple Rain shirt, but turned to see Okuyasu already taking his uniform jacket off and tugging at the bottom of his own purple tee. Josuke quickly shut his mouth and turned away, sparing himself the embarrassment of a red face.
Sure, Josuke knew Okuyasu was attractive, he thought he was gorgeous, maybe even more handsome than Prince, and that’s saying something, but maybe those feelings had laid dormant, unspoken out of a certain fear and the more pressing issue of a stand user serial killer on the loose in their town. And, maybe thinking his best friend (that he found really attractive and often thought about in a very not-friendly way) died made him think of some regrets, some things he wished he’d told him. But, of course, Okuyasu wasn’t dead, and wanting to do something in theory is a lot different in practice, especially when said subject of potential unexplored feelings is currently an amnesiac who needs Josuke’s support to get his memories back, who probably didn’t even like Josuke like that… whatever way that was.
Josuke found his shirt, and physically shook his head, like he could bat the thoughts away as he began to take his own uniform off, fixing up some of the holes with Crazy Diamond.
“You wanna listen to some music? Or maybe watch a movie?” Josuke asked as he risked a look over at Okuyasu, who was thankfully not shirtless and in fact fully changed out of his uniform, folding it up and placing it on the floor next to Josuke’s bed in a level of politeness Josuke had never seen from him.
“Sure, yeah, music is cool,” he nodded. “I’d like to keep talking about stuff if that’s okay, though. I was thinking maybe just talking would help me get some memories back, even though that hasn’t really helped so far.”
“Tomorrow we can go out while mum’s at work, meet some people we’re friends with. Maybe seeing them will help jog your memory,” Josuke suggested, searching through his vinyl collection for something he knew Okuyasu enjoyed. “Let’s do Tupac,” Josuke decided, sliding Greatest Hits out of its cover and placing it on the turntable as Keep Ya Head Up began to play.
“That’s a good idea,” Okuyasu mused. “What Italian place did you mention I like?”
“Tonio’s? Yeah, we can totally go there,” Josuke grinned. “I’m sure Tonio-san will be happy to see you. He might even be able to help you, he’s cured basically every other ailment that Crazy Diamond couldn’t fix.”
“Is he a stand user too?” Okuyasu asked, fiddling with the hem of Josuke’s shirt and nodding along to the music.
“Yeah, his stand’s called Pearl Jam. You’ll figure out what it does tomorrow,” Josuke hummed. “I wonder what’s for dinner, I’m starving.”
“It’s only three,” Okuyasu looked over at the clock on Josuke’s bedside.
“We should get a snack. You want some fruit or something?”
“Yeah, why not,” Okuyasu nodded, giving Josuke a thumbs up that gave him a little more hope that Okuyasu was coming back.
✮
They dragged an inflatable mattress into Josuke’s room for him to sleep on much earlier than they usually did. They were both utterly exhausted, mentally and physically, and really just wanted to go to bed.
“Are you sure you don’t wanna sleep in your bed?” Okuyasu asked.
“I’m sure. You’re concussed, you need to be comfortable,” he insisted.
“But you’ve got like a bajillion stitches,” he retorted.
“Don’t argue, I’ve made up my mind,” Josuke crossed his arms as he sat on the slightly uncomfortable blow up mattress. “I seriously don’t mind though, I’ll be fine.”
“Fine,” Okuyasu pouted, sticking his lips out in the stupid way he always does, which made Josuke giggle a little. “What?” Okuyasu snorted back.
“Your stupid face,” Josuke beamed. “You do all the same little things, it’s like muscle memory.”
“What do I do with my face,” he scowled in the same way he always does, pulling Josuke’s duvet up over his legs.
“Well, when you’re pretending to be annoyed you pout with your lips,” Josuke smiled. “And when you pretend to be angry you look like a toddler having a fit, you puff your cheeks out and exaggerate your eyebrows. When you’re actually angry your eyes get much wider and you bare your teeth like a dog. When you’re embarrassed or flustered you rub your neck and giggle in a stupid way, like a schoolgirl. When you smile you always squint until your eyes are almost closed, and you’ve got dimples.”
Okuyasu looked at him slightly blankly, and Josuke realised he’d said too much.
“I didn’t realise a person could do so much with their face,” Okuyasu joked, rubbing his cheek, developing a pink tone which Josuke was probably imagining.
“Yeah,” Josuke whispered through a deep exhale. “Anyway, you’re tired, I should let you sleep.”
“Okay, yeah,” Okuyasu nodded. “Thanks again, for letting me stay.”
“Anytime man,” Josuke pushed down the flustered feeling in his chest. “If you need me in the night, don't be afraid to wake me.”
“You too,” Okuyasu mumbled. “Goodnight, Josuke.”
Josuke hated how foreign his name sounded in Okuyasu’s mouth every time he’d said it since that morning on the street, but he couldn’t help but be relieved to hear it every time.
“Good night, Okuyasu.”