Chapter Text
A little-known fact about Chifuyu’s captain: He doesn’t care about romance.
Trust his word, he’s been by Baji’s side since they were pre-teens. Correction, since Chifuyu was a pre-teen. Baji was technically 13 when Chifuyu met him. Semantics.
Why is this a little-known fact, one may or may not ask? Well, Chifuyu is more than happy to tell someone regardless of their willingness to listen. He’s been meaning to get it off his chest for a while.
Here’s the thing. Though Baji is the most attractive person Chifuyu has ever met, apparently , the general population does not agree .
(Chifuyu honestly doesn’t know what the rest of the world is smoking because they are BLIND.)
When he’s at his hottest state — aka rough-housing with Toman or caving someone’s nose in — most people are not lining up to plant their lips on that. They’ll get their face bitten off if they’re lucky .
Most people don’t have enough balls to go up and ask him out.
Most people don’t know what they’re missing out.
Chifuyu is not most people.
He would gladly have his face bitten off by Baji. That’s an honor. If there were a queue to get mauled by Baji, he would be the first in line. Unfortunately, there is no queue because Baji can not be approached.
However, there is one (1) time of the day when Baji is actually approachable. From the hours of 8:45 AM to 3:15 PM, Baji has to play the part of a diligent schoolboy. He plays it very well if Chifuyu does say so himself.
Beautiful hair slicked back and tied up in a ponytail… a concentrated expression as he works on his homework… Maybe a strand of hair slips out… Chifuyu would lift his hand to tuck it behind Baji’s ear… Baji’s dark brown eyes would flick up to look up at him and he would nod his head to Chifuyu in thanks, making his stomach do somersaults…
Wait, he’s losing the point here.
Anyway.
Baji, the wonderful son that he is, tries his hardest to be a good student during school hours. He doesn’t get into fights, keeps his head down, and assumes the identity of a background character (as described by Kazutora, but he’d said it more condescendingly).
However, this rare instance of approachable Baji isn’t… desirable ( ?? ) by most of the population. Sure, Baji has fellow nerd friends but his nerd friends don’t want to date him. Most of his classmates don’t pay him any attention. When Chifuyu overheard the girls gossiping, they’d described Baji as “lame”.
It felt like a lightning bolt had struck him.
Lame?
LAME??????????
When Chifuyu went to complain about it to Kazutora, he’d only laughed.
Which is… fair. Maybe.
Chifuyu knows he has rose-colored glasses on for Baji. When he first saw Baji in school, he also thought the other boy was too lame for a Toman captain.
But! But…! He was young and foolish. He knows better now. Baji-san will always be cool no matter what he looks like, and Chifuyu really wishes everyone could see that.
And then, one day someone did.
On one of the days Chifuyu wasn’t working and instead helping Baji with his studies in his empty classroom, a girl approached them. At first, Chifuyu assumed she was coming up to him — for some reason, a lot more girls have been confessing to him since his second year. He doesn’t think anything changed about him, but it’s a nice ego boost even if he can’t accept any of the confessions.
So when the girl instead stuttered out a request for Baji to follow her to the back of the school, Chifuyu dropped his pencil in surprise.
Baji, the oblivious man that he was, almost turned her down.
“Sorry, I have to study—”
“WHAT HE MEANS IS,” Chifuyu interjected, leaping across the desk to slap his hand over his friend’s mouth. “Is that he totally will!! As long as it’s short because he does need to study, but he doesn’t mind for just a few minutes!!”
Baji looked confused and disgruntled but when the girl had looked at him with hesitant hope, he relented.
As soon as Baji left the classroom with her, Chifuyu texted Kazutora about the situation. When he got an affirmative from the other, he climbed out the classroom window and hopped to a branch of the tree outside.
It takes two minutes for Kazutora to meet him beside the bush and five more for the girl and Baji to arrive.
He and Kazutora watched in awe as their captain was confessed to for the first time ever, and then in horror as Baji turned it down.
“Not interested.”
The girl slumped. “Not at all? Is it how I look? I can put on makeup…”
“Even if you’re the prettiest girl in Japan, I wouldn’t want to date you.”
Kazutora gasped dramatically. Chifuyu covered his mouth before he gave them away, but even he was wincing from the harshness of that rejection.
“Wh-what? Is it just a me problem then?” the girl sounded on the verge of tears.
“Nah,” Baji shrugged, but he softened when he noticed her distress. “You’re a catch, don’t worry. I just don’t want to date. I gotta go study and do stupid shit with my friends. Don’t got time for a girlfriend.”
“O-oh…” she sniffled, but eventually she nodded and accepted the rejection.
When she walked away, the two boys jumped Baji.
“YOU HAD ONE CHANCE AND YOU BLEW IT!!” Chifuyu whisper-screamed into Baji’s ear, acting it up just because. A part of him was relieved, though. He didn’t know how he would have handled Baji dating someone that wasn’t him.
“Keisuke, she was cute! What were you thinking?!” Kazutora echoed, shaking Baji.
Baji threw them all off, growling. “Fuck off, you assholes! So what if she’s cute? I ain’t about to go around fucking and dumping like you, Tora!”
“We’re in the prime of our lives, what else are we supposed to do? It’s not my fault all of the people confessing to me are cute!” Kazutora defended before throwing his hands up. “Oh my god, I thought you were finally gonna get a girlfriend what Fuyu texted me but NOOO!!”
“Piss off! I need to get into veterinarian school by the summer, I ain’t got time for a girlfriend on top of hanging with y’all and Toman.”
That stopped Kazutora in his tracks, but he quickly recovered.
“Aww, you wouldn’t give up time with us for your girlfriend? That’s so sweet, Keisuke,” Kazutora placed his arm on Baji’s shoulder, batting his (very pretty) lashes. It accentuates the mole on his eye and Chifuyu can’t help but be drawn to it.
“Duh,” Baji rolled his eyes. “You guys are way better than a girlfriend anyway.”
Chifuyu stumbled and was immediately caught around the waist by Baji’s hand. Kazutora hid his face in the arm he had on Baji’s shoulder.
“... Ugh,” Kazutora sounded disgusted but his voice was flustered. Chifuyu was onto him. “You’re so cheesy.”
“You wanna fucking go?”
Kazutora pauses, considering it. “Actually, punching you sounds really therapeutic right now. Yeah, let’s fucking go."
He pushed himself off Baji and rolled up his sleeves.
A grin tore its way across Baji's face, feral and delighted. He laughed, squeezed Chifuyu’s waist, before letting go and loosening his tie. “Hell yeah, I’ve been itching to get my blood pumping all day!”
By the time Chifuyu’s brain was back online, the first punch had already been thrown. He watched them scuffle for a few minutes. Eventually, Kazutora got Baji in a headlock on the ground, forcing Baji to yield because he didn’t want his shirt to get dirty.
They part ways shortly after — Kazutora back to his club activity; Baji and Chifuyu back to studying — the confession seemingly forgotten.
Except Chifuyu didn’t forget.
“Kazutora, about Baji-san…”
“I figured you’d ask,” his friend catches on immediately, which is a relief because Chifuyu didn’t know how to word his question at all. “Yeah, hate to tell you this but Keisuke’s always been like that. He’s never done anything romantic in the years I’ve known him, so don’t count on him getting a girlfriend ever .”
“What about…?”
“Not boys either. Trust me, I would know.”
Chifuyu sighs, slotting the last box in place on the shelf. “I thought my chances were low, but turns out it’s nonexistent.”
“Don’t be too hung up about it. We can probably still trick him into marrying us if we say it’s for the tax benefits.”
His face explodes in red. “M-marry!? Wait, us!? What are you talking about, Kazutora?!”
Kazutora whistles. “Oh wow, I think I hear the manager calling my name. Be right back, Chifuyu.”
“What? No, get back here and explain yourself!”