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Chenle hadn't always had an eye for emo boys. But ever since meeting park Jisung, his taste in men had definitely been a little altered.
At first, it was just by coincidence they ended up as lab partners for 1st year biology. Spending 2 hours a day sitting beside each other and having small chit chat about bio eventually turned into 4 hours a day equally split between attending bio (and listening to Jisung yap about how amazing life is in his poetic emo biology lingo) and attending Chenle’s basketball practices.
It was sudden. But Chenle had asked him to come watch one day. Although Jisung wasn't a big fan, it became part of his weekly routine to attend a couple practices.
Chenle’s teammates doubted the friendship between the jock and the emo boy. They always teased Chenle whenever Jisung would walk in and sit in the bleachers at practices. The ooh’s and ah's they let out whenever Chenle watched him find a seat were annoying but only because he always felt a bit embarrassed about the teasing. They always teased him whenever he failed to catch a pass, too distracted by Jisung’s face to see the ball hurling at him. They always teased him right before he made a shot for the net.
"The Great Dog shoots for love." One would say.
"This shot's for Jisung, right Chenle?" Another one would yell and snicker. Embarrassingly enough, chenle never missed a single shot.
Their second year of university went similarly. This time it was no coincidence they shared 2 classes. They had stayed up in Chenle’s dorm till midnight watching movies, playing video games, and waiting for classes to open for registration just so they could ensure they'd share a couple more classes together. This time they signed up to take chemistry and astronomy. Chenle was iffy about the astronomy class but he needed an elective anyway. Besides, Jisung swore he'd help chenle if the work became too hard.
As for basketball practice, it was the same as always with the exception of Jisung attending the games with someone else by his side now. The first time it happened had thrown Chenle in for a loop. It was the first time he missed a shot in all his years of playing basketball. That, in turn, threw the whole team in for a loop.
Turns out Jisung’s younger cousin was interested in trying out for the basketball team next semester, so Jisung brought him along to the games to get a feel for the team.
But on that day, he realized he wanted Jisung in a way he's never wanted anyone before. In a way that makes him almost ashamed of staying by his side. On that day, the whole team could see it, Chenle could see it. Hell, even the coach could see it. But, it seemed jisung was the only one who couldn't.
Because when Chenle leaned in close the next day at lunch, using the old "you have a little something on your face." tactic, he received a hand shooing him away in response. Later that day, when Chenle mentioned how pretty his piercings made him look, Jisung laughed and waved it off like it was a joke. Later that week, when they got dead drunk in Jisung’s bedroom and Chenle kissed him senseless Jisung didn't bother making any further moves.
They never talked about that day. Either Jisung forgot the kiss — too drunk to remember, or he's playing dumb and choosing to act like he doesn't remember anything. In any case, Chenle knows he's better off not knowing the truth. So he left it as is, just a silent memory thrown away for the sake of protecting his heart and friendship with the boy.
But today, Chenle is rethinking every decision he has ever made in his life that led him up to this point.
He walked into second period to find Jisung sitting down in his usual seat, but this time the boy looked so much more attractive than usual. He wasn't the only one thinking it if the girls across the room ogling and giggling in his direction meant anything.
It ticked him off. A surge of anger and an overwhelming urge to protect him from everyone's prying eyes filled him with an unusual pressure — like a balloon about to pop.
He sat down next to Jisung, and slammed his notebook open. Then he turned to the boy beside him and lazily plopped his elbow on the desk, his right cheek smushed against his right hand as he scanned the way black squared frames sat upon the boy's nose.
"Since when do you have glasses?"
Jisung scurried to brush his fingers across the frames, the same way he did with every new piercing he got. A insecure habit of his, at least according to what Jisung told him.
"Do they look bad on me?"
Chenle let a soft laugh escape him while Jisung made a quick attempt to pry them off. Chenle intervened just as quickly, slapping away his hand and pushing the frames further up the bridge of his nose from where they slipped.
"Nah. They look good on you. Don't worry."
He watched the boy heave out a sigh of relief, his high and tensed shoulders now descending back to a more relaxed position.
Then Jisung gave him a once over, sending him the ugliest stink face. Nose scrunch and everything.
"You smell like a gym rat." Despite the harsh words, he spoke in a gentle caring manner. His voice so deep and smooth it was intoxicating. It left Chenle with more thoughts than he would have liked to admit.
"They called for practice early, and I didn't have time to shower or I’d miss class. I at least put on more deodorant." Chenle took the opportunity to give his own armpit a whiff, something he knew Jisung hated to see him do.
It ended with Jisung’s wrist caught in his grip, complaints and groans falling from
his lips while Chenle laughed and pushed away the hand meant to shove him away for his unruly actions.
But as soon as the teacher walked in and started class, Chenle zoned out. He kept weighing his options. Confess, or don't confess. Risk ruining his friendship or just forget about this crush. Pursue his shot at being happy, or stay silent and suffer in the name of love.
Ultimately, he knew it came down to one thing. He wasn't sure if he could pull through it though.
_________
Things seemed to have changed over the next couple of weeks. Jisung seemed more distant and reserved.
Sure, that was sort of his personality but that wasn't the case with Chenle.
They would still hang out and eat lunch together. They were still seat mates in class.
They would still sit on Chenle's bed in his dorm and binge watch cringey romcom shows.
But Jisung stopped showing up to his games. Almost completely.
He'd given Chenle plenty of reasonable excuses.
"I have to study for a big test."
"I'm tired today."
"I have a doctor's appointment."
"I have to catch up on late assignments."
But something was off about it all. It irked Chenle more than he liked to admit. He was avoiding him for some reason. That much was beginning to become obvious. Did he not want to be friends anymore? Is this his way of slowly easing himself out of his life?
All these questions made him feel sick, and each game that passed was another excuse after another excuse. Any more excuses and Chenle might just pop. He didn't get it. Why would he be avoiding him?
He hated the thought of confronting him because he knew Jisung wasn't a big fan of confrontations. But this is breaking all the walls he put up for Jisung’s sake. He needed answers because it felt like he was losing him all too quickly.
But yet again, for Jisung’s sake, he shoved his questions down.
Until one day Jisung began to act even stranger.
It started off with Jisung inviting him over after weeks of no visits. This would have been a relief for Chenle if not for the fact that Jisung would ask to watch horror movies with him, which was very unlike Jisung to do. The Jisung he knew hated horror movies. But Chenle complied without question. Each time the scenes began to play eery music, Chenle would see Jisung inch closer and closer to him. By the end of the movie Jisung would be glued to his side, quivering in fear. He didn't understand why Jisung would suggest the genre if he couldn't handle the content. It was weird.
A couple days later Jisung asked to go over to Chenle’s dorm which is nothing out of the ordinary. Except, while they were chilling on the bed playing PUBG, Jisung asked if he could stay the night, and if he could borrow Chenle’s clothes. This too was unlike Jisung. He disliked borrowing clothes from anyone.
That night, they stayed up till 3 in the morning talking about basketball terms and basketball teams, and it was Jisung who initiated the conversation first. He claimed he wanted to know more so he could understand the games better.
The next morning Chenle woke up to Jisung cuddling into his side. The shirt Jisung had on was just a tiny bit small on him, and the hem had travelled up his stomach during the course of the night, revealing his toned abs. His heart had jumpstarted and thoughts he’d rather keep away began to boil up. Chenle had quickly tugged the fabric down and made a beeline for the bathroom to get a second alone to calm his racing heartbeat.
On days Jisung could not attend practice games, he would send Chenle pics of himself studying or watching an economics lecture and would caption it with random conversation starters like "Calculus sucks, hope practice is much better."
Or like "Wish I was watching you at practice. Econ is boring." And to make matters worse, Jisung had sent that one with a pic of himself and his thumb up. It made Chenle crazy because Jisung is such a loser for that one. Yet, in some odd way it made him feel more stupidly in love with him.
The point is Jisung was being strange and doing things he would not do before. He doesn't know what caused the switch up — from avoiding him to constantly trying to be in his company — but he didn't mind it all that much. In fact, he kind of liked the new Jisung, especially on the days he actually showed up to his games. If chenle made a basket, Jisung would shoot right up to cheer and clap. It filled Chenle with an insane amount of confidence that carried him throughout the entire game.
Today's episode of Jisung being strange started with Chenle’s day being ruined.
Practice was put on hold for Mark and Chenle midway through their game because mark bumped into chenle a little too hard and caused their heads to collide. The nurse advised them both to sit out for a while to ensure the boys did not have any symptoms of a concussion. So here they were sitting on the bench watching the game continue without them.
Chenle scrolled through his twitter account to pass the time until he got a message from Jisung. He debated opening it because the notification read "Jie: attached pic" and he wasn't sure another picture of Jisung posing with a thumbs up would be good for the headache he had right now.
But curiosity killed the cat and he folded.
He clicked on the notification and suddenly felt woozy, and it wasn't a symptom caused by the possible mild concussion either.
The message read "new piercing :p" and attached to it was a picture of the boy sticking out his tongue to show a small silver ball of metal sitting idly on his very pink tongue.
Chenle swallowed hard, feeling his adam's apple move as he did. Then he noticed something else.
Jisung's shirt hung a little low on the chest area and his eyes zeroed in on his exposed collarbones.
"Fuck." he mumbled low.
"Chenle? You good?"
Chenle jumped and shoved his phone onto the bench face down, and face red.
"Yeah! Fine don't worry! I feel ready to play! Haha!" And Mark gave him a worried look.
"If you say so, man. If you start feeling weird though, tell me and I'll call the nurse over to check on you. Sorry again for running into you. My mistake man."
Chenle waved it off and back into silence they fell. Once he was sure Mark was no longer paying attention to him, he picked up his phone and typed out a quick reply.
lol ok.
But he was definitely not okay.
They sent him home early to rest. The nurse diagnosed him with a mild concussion. Nothing severe. He could have easily joined back into the game but his coach decided it was better for him to rest. In fact, coach had told him to stay out for at least 4 days.
So he sat on his couch, staring at the blank screen when he got a text message from Jisung. This time it read: heard you got sent home early, you okay?
Chenle sighed. Jisung's cousin had come to watch again with a couple of his other buddies. He must have told him. He sat for a while, contemplating how to respond:
mild concussion but i feel fine
coach is sitting me out for 4 days tho
It didn't take long before he was pinged with another message.
i'm sorry, i know practice is ur favorite part of the day :/
Chenle began to type until he got another one.
would u like to come over? i can keep you company today :p
Who was Chenle to say no to that? So he checked the time before replying: be there in 20!
Jisung had left the door open for Chenle, so Chenle walked in like it was his own place. He scanned the empty living room void of any sign of his roommate being here. Then he made his way to Jisung’s closed bedroom door and knocked twice.
From behind the door he heard the boy's voice.
"If it's Chenle, you can come in!"
And he did.
He swung the door open to find Jisung sitting on his black bedsheets, glasses perched on his nose, pencil in his hand and a notebook full of equations lying on his lap. He gave chenle a small smile and motioned for Chenle to sit anywhere he wanted.
Chenle took the liberation of sitting in the desk chair across him because if he sat next to him, he might just kiss him because Jisung was still wearing that damn wide shirt that exposed his collarbones.
Chenle needed to act normal.
But the sight of Jisung putting away his notebook and taking off his glasses unlocked something carnal in him.
"Keep the glasses on." Chenle demanded. The sudden authority in his voice caused him to freeze up.
Jisung paused. "What?"
Chenle refused to speak. He refused to embarrass himself more than he already did. So he sits there silent. Jisung doesn't dare say another word either. And so they sit there, staring at each other. Not one of them moves, not one of them breaks eye contact, and the tension in the room becomes suffocating.
Chenle doesn't know what Jisung is thinking, but Chenle is thinking of ruining their friendship right here. Right now.
It becomes unbearable. His glasses are sitting low on his nose from when he almost took them off. His collarbones are on full display and are devastatingly unmarked. His lips are parted slightly showing a glint of metal peeking behind them, and Chenle has to bite down on his tongue to stop his mind from reeling further.
"Chenle?"
But Chenle wasn't listening, not when thoughts about ravishing the boy in front of him were so loud. The urge to get up and kiss him was coming straight for him like a train. The warning bells were ringing, the red lights were blinking, and his mind was still reeling. They reeled and reeled and reeled until he threw himself in front of the train of his thoughts.
"Fuck it." he declared, unabashedly.
Jisung watched him stand up and before he knew it, Chenle’s lips had smashed onto his own.
Chenle felt the boy's panic for only a second before Jisung’s lips began to move against his. The moment felt like a lifetime before Chenle’s hands ghosted over the hem of Jisung’s shirt. He gave it a little tug to test the waters.
That made Jisung pull away slightly. Lips just barely touching.
"Don't. I can't." Jisung breathed out. "Have an important calculus exam tomorrow."
That made Chenle burst into a laughing fit. Jisung furrowed his brows and pushed the boy away from him, feigning annoyance.
Chenle pulled him back in anyway and did his best to talk between catching his breath and indulging in more giggles.
"Sorry, I'm sorry! But that was hilarious!" he laughed out. Jisung rolled his eyes but made no move to push him off again. Chenle took that as a good sign.
"Okay, I’m done laughing." he said with a silly grin on his face. "Fuck your calculus test by the way. Who needs that when I'm going to be the greatest basketball player of all time."
"You kiss me once and think I’m going to marry you or something." Jisung replied dead serious, pushing his glasses back securely on his nose. But Chenle could tell he was enjoying this. So he grins wider and leans in closer.
"You know, just because you have a test tomorrow doesn't mean we can't make out a bit more..." he trailed off, his eyes finding focus on Jisung’s lips.
"Besides," he muttered. His thumb coming up and landing on Jisung’s plump bottom lip, softly swiping it back and forth like he was mapping out the shape. "I kind of want to know what that new piercing feels like against my tongue."
"Fuck." Jisung breathed out before tangling his fingers in chenle's hair and smashing their lips together hard enough to hurt. Chenle grinned just long enough for Jisung to lick across his teeth. A silent plea for permission to enter.
Chenle granted access and let Jisung’s tongue roam around messily before he settled on sucking the wet muscle. The way Jisung’s piercing would clash against the back of his teeth every now and then drove Chenle further off the cliff. He was going insane. There's only so much he can take with his hormones racing this wildly. Especially, when this exact moment was all he could dream about since Jisung first bought those damn glasses.
So he closes the gap between their bodies until he's straddling Jisung’s legs. He bites down on the boy’s lip, eliciting a soft shriek out of him. It opened the opportunity for Chenle to catch his tongue with his own. He licked and sucked on it as much as he could, making sure to occasionally lick over the piercing.
Saliva spilled down the corner of his mouth, making the kiss messy and wet. His hands roamed beneath the boy’s shirt, feeling up on his skin before he pulled away completely, leaving only a string of shared saliva as evidence of their kiss. Jisung desperately tried to chase after his lips like a puppy might do for a drink of water. But when Chenle pulled away further, he whined pathetically. Then without even asking, Chenle dips his head and starts trailing kisses along the boy's exposed collarbone.
"Chenle!" Jisung yelps out in a panic.
That only furthers Chenle to keep going. He gives the spot beneath his collarbone a small kitten lick before sucking on the skin, creating a small red bruise.
Jisung almost moans, but it comes out strangled.
When Chenle felt satisfied, he pulled away to view his art with a shit eating grin that earns him a groan.
"Fuck you, I'm sensitive there asshole!" He wasn't angry, just a little overwhelmed. Chenle watched him rub the bruise as an attempt to calm himself down.
It worked to further entertain Chenle.
"I didn't know you were so sensitive, but I'm glad I know now." he teased.
"Whatever. God, how am I supposed to focus on studying now?" Jisung asked. If Chenle didn't know better, he'd think Jisung was whining, but Jisung always talks like he's whining. Like everything directed at Chenle is a complaint. It's not.
"Why did you invite me over if you needed to study?"
Chenle questioned him, simultaneously taking the moment to push himself off Jisung’s lap.
"Because I figured you could use the company. Didn't want you to be cooped up all day by yourself when I know you hate having nothing to do." He was right. It was true.
That made Chenle grin for the nth time in the past 10 minutes. But he wasn't done teasing the boy. He cocked his head and gave Jisung a furrowed brow. "Don't lie. I know you sent that pic to me because you were hoping to ask me to come over anyway."
Jisung paused, his eyes wide like a deer caught in headlights. The dumbstruck look on his face told Chenle his assumption was correct.
"How did..how did you know?" he questioned in a small voice, embarrassed. His cheeks visibly redder.
Chenle burst into another fit of laughter. Holding his stomach as his diaphragm contracted like a spasm.
"I didn't. I was just teasing you! God, Jisung you're too gullible!" He couldn't help but clap because laughing alone was not enough to express how amused he was with the situation.
"Oh..." was all Jisung said before he grabbed his pen and notebook and quickly began writing numbers down. He completely shifted, an entire 180 from the embarrassed and shy persona he had before.
It gave Chenle enough time to calm down. He looked around at the posters hanging on his wall. His eyes finding a familiar poster he had seen in their shared astronomy class. A constellation by the name of Canis Major or what's commonly referred to as The Great Dog.
The dots suddenly began to connect in his mind. Starting from the day Jisung first avoided his games and practices.
His nickname on the court was The Great Dog. It had been given to him when he tried out for the team last year because of how agile he was on the court.
He knew the constellation had some sort of myth about a dog that never failed to catch what it was hunting. He'd learned that from the astronomy class. But it hadn't occurred to him that his nickname derived from that constellation. He only ever figured the nickname was given to him because they compared his speed and agility to that of a dog.
But now he felt stupid.
Earlier in the semester, Jisung had marveled over the constellation after it was introduced to the class. He told Chenle he liked the idea of it.
The truth is he hadn't been in Jisung’s room for at least two weeks. So when Jisung invited him over for the first time after avoiding him, he had half the mind to look around the room. But now that the cogs in his mind were fully working, he realized Jisung had to have purchased the poster during the time he avoided him.
His chest suddenly felt very light and ticklish as if butterflies had taken flight. It dawned on him. The realization that Jisung liked him hit so suddenly it made him dizzy. Jisung must have been scared. He must have felt terrified about it. That explained why he pushed him away for a while. Chenle understood that mechanism. He’d experienced it before.
And yet, here they were, post-make out.
His eyes gravitated over to Jisung who was biting down on his lip in pure concentration. He couldn't help the smile that flashed across his lips.
"Can I join you?" Chenle asked, amused.
Jisung only gave him a nod of approval and Chenle crawled onto the bed, plopping down on his back next to Jisung. He laid there staring at the poster with a foolish grin, listening to pencil strokes as lead collided against paper.
______
He woke up to a white ceiling and the sun’s rays casting the room in an ambient orange glow as it set under the horizon. He hadn't remembered falling asleep. He turned his head slightly to see Jisung’s cheek smushed against his chest. His skin was cast under that sunset glow making him look softer. His glasses were still on, and his hair was a little messy. It seemed he had fallen asleep too.
He wondered if Jisung meant to fall asleep on his chest, or if he somehow gravitated towards Chenle during his nap. Either way, he found that he liked the feeling of Jisung sleeping against him.
He pulled out his phone and checked the time. It was nearing 7:30pm and the boy would have to wake up soon if he wanted to study more for that test.
Except, Chenle didn't have the heart or the will to disturb his sleep. He probably needed it. So he decided he would let the boy sleep a little longer. For now though, Chenle could have a little fun.
He opened his phone's camera and angled it so that both he and Jisung were in the frame. He was about to snap a picture, but then he realized something was missing. He gave the sleeping boy a once over and then carefully removed his glasses off his face and placed them on his own face. The difference between Jisung’s vision and his vision was hardly different at all. Jisung probably didn't even need them, but he likes the boy more with glasses on. Scratch that. He loves the boy with glasses on. It made him look so much more nerdy and emo. He lived for it. So he decides he shouldn't complain. He smiles into the camera and takes a picture.
And for the fun of it, he posts it on his insta. Jisung will for sure lose his shit tomorrow. But for now, Chenle relishes in the peace of the moment.
Tomorrow's worries can be dealt with tomorrow.