Work Text:
Izuku sat up to see the alarm clock on his nightstand, "2:12" in red blocky font met him. He groaned, throwing his head back. He'd trapped himself in his head for far too long, Kacchan was going to kill him in the morning. Then, he groaned again. Everything always goes back to him.
Izuku can't even escape the blonde in his mind.
He sighs, a burrowing sense of need filled him. The need to understand himself, the need to sleep probably, the need to kiss along Kacchan’s neck and watch as red marks bloomed, listening to Kacchan’s sweet moans and —
Izuku stuffs his head in his pillow, he must’ve been exhausted, yet he still yearned for answers and introspection — though he was scared to look too close at .. whatever made him stay up ‘till two in the morning.
Izuku grabbed his phone from where it’d been resting on his nightstand, there was nobody awake at this hour he could talk to. He didn't want to talk to anyone anyway, not about this. He continued to scroll through his apps, finding one he hadn't used since middle school.
Reddit.
The land of online discourse, incels, and AITA posts. He sighs as he opens the app, god this was so embarrassing. He logged into his old account, laughing at the username he'd fought over until the guy got sick of him and gave it up. Kacchan should've bullied him harder, god.
He clicked on the create button, with a deep sigh.
u/allmight#1fan
if my best-friend was a girl i'd marry him instantly
kacchan is the most beautiful person i know and he's more attractive than any girl. i seriously don't even think i could marry anyone that wasn't him, he's everything i've ever wanted. but that's gay and i'm straight. i just don't understand what the issue is? kacchan is so pretty and strong and gentle and witty and proud and so so caring. but i'm not in love with him, what could this possibly be???
Izuku then turns his phone off and threw it on his bed, deciding he'd had enough.
He was sick of this.
Izuku has seen it, he’s not stupid — well, not that stupid.
Kacchan is pretty.
Like, absurdly so.
He had even failed a quiz earlier from zoning out on the blonde in front of him!
Izuku had always been paying attention to Kacchan, always so amazed, but now that they were friends this attraction would mess everything up! It was easier to ignore when he was younger and Kacchan was mean, but now Kacchan cared and Izuku felt so .. loved.
Izuku was constantly fumbling with what he thought was childish adoration, nothing more than seeing Kacchan for what he was — the best.
What even was this?
He didn't love Kacchan. Well, he loves Kacchan, just ... not like that.
Izuku wasn't gay.
He’d had a crush on Uraraka in first year! She was heroic and strong and constantly strived to be the best she could! Izuku had even found other girls relatively cute too.
Especially blonde women, their hair was pretty.
Never quite the right shade, but pretty.
Sure, Izuku’s never dated a girl, but he’s liked them! Which is why his feelings attraction to Kacchan just so confusing.
He couldn’t like Kacchan, so what was this?
A notification from his phone pulled him from his thoughts as he scanned his bed to find the thing. He hears it buzz again as he lifts up the blanket, grabbing the phone.
It was a notification from ... Reddit.
mirkosimp4life:
Nah, its ok to have feelings like that! Doesn't mean you have romantic feelings for him or that you're a gay person, just that you have a great friendship!
Izuku took a deep breath. Of course — this person was right. You can love someone without wanting to kiss their starburst scars or wake up to their glaring red eyes —
allmight#1fan - OP:
you're probably right!! kacchan is one of my closest friends and childhood bff! of course i’d feel this way, thank you!! >_<
Kacchan was different. Everything about him was. He stuck out more than other people, he influenced every move Izuku made, and he made Izuku feel things nobody else ever could.
Izuku stirred in bed, flipping himself to face the wall.
A deep uncomfortable feeling laid in his chest, his heart aching. An even deeper truth rang in his ears. How long could he deny himself everything he wanted?
When could he look at Kacchan without hating himself?
That night, Izuku dreamed of spiky blonde hair and piercing ruby eyes.