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For a long time, Ghost had been sure that he was in fact unlovable. That he had deserved the way his father and others had treated him. That he had deserved the things that happened to him. All the pain he had to endure, just to kneel in front of his bed in the evening, begging God to save him.
God did not save him. And by now, Ghost didn't believe in the existence of a god anymore.
He knew other people that had gone through something similar. Soap had grown up in the church, too. He got sexually assaulted, too. He didn't like talking about it and barely did. Ghost only knew the basic things that happened and was actually quite happy about that. If he knew more, he would likely make someone pay and he knew, Johnny didn't want that. Even if they would deserve it.
Soap still owned a box with a torn-up rosary stored in it. It reminded him of finally leaving the church behind to become himself and move on from his trauma.
Ghost doubted that it would ever be fully okay again. He doubted that for himself and for Johnny but that didn't mean they were any less happy.
And then there was Roach. Roach didn't grow up with religion and he didn't believe in a god either. He once had told them that in the end, they would probably all beg for their lives at some point and if a god did exist, they would help without them having to believe in them first. At least, if the concept of a good, forgiving god was actually true. And if God didn't exist anyway, then their begging would not be heard and they would either survive or die - the reason why not mattering because the outcome would be the same.
Ghost had met him when he was still speaking normally. By the time, Roach and Soap met, Roach was already non-verbal. They were all pretty sure that Roach was technically physically able to speak but the last time he had spoken was so long ago that not even Roach could confirm or deny it. And neither of them cared enough to find out. They were fluid in sign-language and if Roach wasn't comfortable speaking, no one would force him.
For Ghost it had been a blessing to have a non-verbal partner. It made the communication for him easier as well. He had been unofficially diagnosed with autism and went non-verbal often, as well.
Besides, Soap talked enough for all three of them. He had gotten into the habit of speaking while signing along, knowing Simon liked to wear noise-canceling headphones when they were on leave. But he always did it, seemingly forgetting that Roach and Ghost just didn't speak but were in fact able to hear him just fine.
But neither Ghost nor Roach would ever stop him. They both felt incredibly lucky that their boyfriend chose to learn sign language with them to make communication easier instead of just telling them to talk since they were perfectly able to.
And even though Ghost had felt unlovable for such a long time and sometimes still did, there now were two men making sure that he knew that he wasn't. That he was, in fact, incredibly loved and cared for and appreciated. And he did repay the favor, giving both of them their weekly T-injections or getting up to make them both breakfast in bed while they were still lazily making out, enjoying the warmth of their sheets and the peace of their leave.
It was one of those mornings.
Or it would be, at least.
Currently, they were all still laying in bed, Roach curled up under the blanket, just the top of his head with messy brown hair peaking out. He was breathing deep and steady but from the way his hands kept wandering along Ghost's stomach and waistband of his boxers, he could tell that he was awake. Soap was happily spread out on Ghost's other side, his eyes still closed but he was already talking.
Ghost pushed his hand under the blanket, placing it on Roach's shoulder and lazily dragging it to his neck to scratch it exactly like Roach liked it. But it just caught his attention, causing him to stick his head out from under the blanket and grinning at Ghost.
"C'mere, bug..." he smiled, pulling him closer with the hand he had placed in his neck. Roach lowered his head to Simon's, meeting his lips and happily starting to kiss him. They both smiled and Ghost couldn't hold back the deep, happy sigh that escaped through his nose as he buried his hand in Roach's hair and kissed him again and again, their lips never really leaving each other.
"Hey, I want some love, too." Soap laughed, nuzzling his nose against Ghost's neck.
Ghost slowly pulled back from Roach, staring into his eyes just a moment longer. "I love you, bug." he whispered.
Roach smiled, blushing softly. He lifted his head, showing the sign for I love you. Ghost pressed another kiss to his lips before turning to Johnny and lazily beginning to kiss him.
Roach's hand roamed over his chest till he finds the spot where he can feel Simon's heartbeat the most. He smiles, leaning in and pressing a kiss to his boyfriend's temple. Johnny kisses Simon a little while longer before feeling Roach's head bud against his shoulder.
"Do you want kisses too, Bug?" he chuckles and Roach nods with a wide grin on his face.
"Well, you boys have fun. I will make us breakfast." Ghost chuckles, letting Roach climb over him before sitting up, giving both of them a short kiss before making his way to the kitchen, still smiling, knowing how incredibly loved he was by these two love-drunk idiots.