Chapter Text
Craig Tucker realized that this was not the best period of his life. It wasn't that his life was great, but right now things were going to be crap. He quarreled with his boss and was fired. He quarreled with the landlord and is now being kicked out of the apartment.
Sucks.
So, 24-year-old Craig Tucker was sitting on the couch and looking at his phone. The brunette saw his mother's contact in the list of numbers and thought: “Time to visit my parents,” which actually meant “Time to be a parasite for my parents.”
He lifted his skinny ass off the couch and started packing his things. It wouldn't look suspicious to his parents because he had nothing but a pair of underpants and a T-shirts.
Craig texted his landlord that the apartment was available and drove to South Park in his car. While he was driving, the Tuckers' eldest son carefully confronted his mother with the fact that he would live with them. The woman had no time to be either happy or afraid. The call has ended.
After just a few hours of driving, Craig was in front of the home. Yes, despite the quarrels with his parents, he could admit that this shabby house was his home. A tall, thin guy got out of the car and noticed that someone was already waiting for him on the porch. Dad. Thomas Tucker became even more bald over the years and light gray hair was already visible at his temples. A massive man came down and hugged his son tightly, patting him on the back several times.
“Craig! Come on! Finally remembered that you have parents?” - Thomas kept his hand on Craig's shoulder and led his son inside.
“Dad. Fuck you,” Craig climbed onto the porch and saw that the door had opened.
“Craig! What a joy!” Laura Tucker ran to her son to hug him with her soft arms.
"That's it, that's enough. You're overreacting." - Craig gently moved his mother to the side and rushed into the hallway.
He looked around the room and noticed that nothing had changed in it. Hell, even the floor creaked the same as it had many years ago. Craig's heart also creaked.
"You're just in time! It'll be dinner soon!" Laura seemed to fly past her husband and son. Her hair and clothes fluttered lightly.
Craig and Thomas stood awkwardly and watched as a happy Laura flew into the kitchen.
“Ahem, let me take your bag to your room,” Thomas suggested, “And you go to mom.”
Craig nodded, handed over a light bag and stomped inside the house. He saw his mother setting up the plates and decided to help her with the serving.
"Don't, Craig! You sit down!" - the woman giggled and pointed her son to one of the chairs.
After some time, the whole family gathered at one table. Almost all. Tricia went to college and was not at home. Laura looked sadly at the empty space next to her.
“Well, Craig... You surprised us with your sudden visit,” Thomas coughed and decided to start a conversation.
“Yeah,” Craig chewed spaghetti monotonously.
“Thomas! Don’t bother him!” Laura hit her husband’s palm. "Eat up, Craig! How are you? How's work going?"
Fuck, not this question.
"I was fired"
The clatter of forks on plates.
"Just kidding. I quit myself. I want to find a job in South Park. This is my home after all." Craig had already come up with a nice excuse for being here, although what he really meant was, “I want to take some time off at your expense while I look for a not shitty job.”
The parents were touched by the answer and Thomas even nodded approvingly.
“We will help you with everything we can!” - Laura glowed with happiness - “And you didn’t answer my first question: how are you?”
"Is there anyone in your mind?" - added Thomas.
Fuck, what a crap question.
"No, I don't have anyone. I worked hard," Craig rolled his eyes. He lied again so as not to anger his parents. He didn't work that hard, it was just more fun to play video games.
"Oh, it's a pity... Such a beautiful boy and lonely!" - Laura giggled, and her son wanted to fall through the ground from shame. "I've only seen you paired with Tweek..."
"Craig is not gay!" - Thomas interrupted his wife "Don't judge him by his childhood relationships! Yes, Craig?"
“Yes, dad. I'm not gay,” Craig continued to monotonously chew his spaghetti.
“I never said anything like that!” Laura got angry. "I just said that Craig's only partner that we know is Tweek!"
The couple frowned at each other and showed their middle fingers. Their son rolled his eyes.
Dinner is over. Craig tried to help his mom wash the dishes, but she kicked him out of the kitchen. He awkwardly trudged through the living room, where his father was sitting on the couch watching TV, and up to the second floor.
Damn, why did his house stay exactly the same? Everything was in its place, as if he had gone back in time. His heart creaked strangely.
Craig, sighing, opened the door to his room and saw... That nothing had changed.
"Are you serious... Fuck." - He rolled his eyes and sighed heavily.
Posters, bed, table, bedside table... Everything was here, in the same places where he left them six years ago.
The guy walked listlessly around the room and fell on the bed. His mother had already carefully laid out the bed linen, on which red cars were drawn. Craig groaned.
Okay, maybe the idea of going home wasn't so great!
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"Are you still sleeping on this?" - Tweek Tweak looked at Craig's blanket shocked
“Are you having any problems?” - the boy didn’t even raise his head to look at his boyfriend.
"You're having problems! You're fucking fourteen, but you're sleeping on this?! Red cars! How childish!! GAH!!"
"If you don't like something, you can buy me a new set of bed linen"
"Pfft! I can buy it!"
"You can buy it."
The boys laughed.
"Listen, Tweek"
"What?"
"Do we have to date?"
"Why do you ask?"
“I don’t know... I just think we’re more friends anyway...”
"Hmm... Yes, you're right."
"So we're breaking up?"
"GH! WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME!!! YOU STARTED THIS!"
"God, what a freak you are. I adore you. My best friend."
"Argh...You're my best friend too, Craig."