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By the time she had gathered herself, Pearl’s mind had started racing. The screams around her of abandoned pearls seemed to never end, their slumber shaken off with her arrival and Peridot’s departure. Even with the city glistening and silent outside of the barred windows of her cell, the nursery was teeming with life. Their insanity so deep and cutting that there was nothing for them to do anymore than to cry out. What for, Pearl could never be sure and she could only pray that she never would.
Pacing didn’t give her much peace, but she did so anyhow if only to do something. Her cell was small with no real room for much else. There was, of course, books and other activities she could take up in her gem. Though, she would need to ration them if this were to be her final home. The threat of slowly deteriorating as the pearls around her was a looming threat scratching in the back of her mind.
There was also a concern of when these pearls had begun to go. Pearl could remember a time when the nursery had been a bastion of them, filled to the brim with obedient, but otherwise healthy, pearls. It was never quiet, much as it is now, but instead of being filled with screams and groans, there had been the noise of conversations between handlers and caretakers as they puttered around. Few of her fellow pearls ever really added to the hum as far as she could remember.
And now, there were no caretakers. No handlers to calm shrills and cries. Somewhere in the levels below her, she could hear the dull thud of body connecting with cell. With each new sound Pearl couldn’t help but flinch, her empathy for her fellow gems swelling in her chest.
Another round of pacing didn’t cease any of the noise around her and she yearned for any other music. Any other symphony or cacophony of noise. The exaggerated cough at the end of Amethyst’s laugh. The hum of Garnet’s approval or satisfaction. Steven’s upbeat ukulele strumming with waves as his only harmony.
Nearly on the verge of tears again, Pearl sighed in frustration, leaning back against the ornate iron bars. Instead of being able to slide down on them as she had hoped, perhaps have another good cry, Pearl felt herself falling back.
With nothing to catch herself on, Pearl hit the marbled floor hard, losing her wind to the impact. It still bothered her that her lungs continued to work as she drug in a breath of air. She could tell there was nothing here to breath, at least not for organics. Homeworld’s atmosphere was nothing compared to earth, composed mostly of helium and methane, giving it a blue hue when viewed from space. She could remember exactly the color of her home planet as it faded from the space craft, destined for Earth all those years ago.
Now, she stared up at another shade of blue, a thick layer of paint slapped onto the ceiling of the nursery. She could remember staring up at this ceiling years ago, out of boredom or necessity, laid back on the gurney in her cell for delivery or injection. She had over heard a newer handler asking about it once, receiving an answer about the calming effects of the color.
Pearl could only bitterly wonder now what purpose the color served. All around her, shrill screams could attest to its ineffectiveness as Pearl sat up, taking in her surroundings.
Before her, her cell door was swung wide. Standing up to observe, Pearl could see that the lock had not been fully deployed, more than likely a mistake on Peridot’s part. She couldn’t be faulted in Pearl’s mind, however. The technology was old, simple, nothing like she would have seen at her assumedly young age.
At the very least, she was free. Freedom was a small gift in her situation and surrounded by the shells of pearls, but she had to wonder if it was truly a blessing or a curse. Remembering the walk to the cell and how it was riddled with insane or cracked gems, Pearl remained glued to her small slice of hall. Already, she saw shadows play on the walls of cells not far from her.
Then she heard a loud bang somewhere down the hall followed by a sharp shrieking. Pearl couldn’t help but feel fully unsettled, the nursery turned into something of a house of horrors lit only by what light filtered in through the barred windows of cells. Some strong drive began to claw at the back of her mind to help them, this endless tower of abandoned gems, if only to silence the agonizing screams.
With a flash of light, Pearl’s spear fell heavily into her hand. With the power off, she figured the cameras that once monitored the activity of the Nursery were dormant, blind to her blatant trespass against Homeworld’s view of pearls. If they even cared anymore. Stuttering legs carried her further down the hall, away from the direction she had come in, her free hand pressed to incubating belly to steady her nerves.
The first one she came across sat in the back of her cell, head hung low between her knees. On the floor glistened a dried puddle of what she could have only guessed was the remains of a geode. She wondered if it was a common theme amongst the remaining pearls to have terminated their incubation early on in their abandonment, having seen more cells like this one on the way in. Once Pearl was close, she could see that this pearl had sleeves of a sheer, glistening blue material, a common fabric choice amongst pearls back when they were in fashion. Now, it was a testament to trends shifting, being discarded for newer methods and models.
“Are you alright?” Pearl asked, her voice trembling as she moved closer. But the pearl didn’t move, only wheezed heavily in response.
“Can you speak at all?” The gem didn’t stir, remained still on the floor amongst the dried remains of her once-upon-a-time geode.
Curious, Pearl walked to the panel of the locking mechanism, pressing the machine awake. One of the better engineering decisions seemed to come in the form of having the ability to have electricity cut to the main building, but much of the inner machinery run on its own power sources, which aided her well now as she set to unlock the door.
With a great amount of caution, Pearl pulled the cell door open, approaching slowly. At first, the pearl remained still on the floor, but as she moved closer, the gem snapped her head up.
Pearl couldn’t help but gasp as she took in her face. Her eyes were wild and rung with dark circles, a small amount of what coated the floor smeared on her right cheek. Despite stepping back from her, Pearl watched with mild horror as the gem trained her eyes on her.
Everything moved in slow motion as the pearl jumped to her feet, screeching with hands outstretched towards Pearl. Despite darting back, the manic pearl only followed after, stopping short of her cell, screaming all the while. There wasn’t even any sense to her screaming, it was all just noise.
Without a word, Pearl walked towards the thrashing pearl, gritted her teeth and shut her eyes as she brought her spear down. The screaming came to an abrupt halt and a cool breeze of the pearl’s dissipating form brushed her skin, the noise replaced by a quiet series of clinks.
When she gathered the courage to look, the pearl was gone, replaced only by her gemstone. Somehow, it had rolled towards her, mere inches from her feet. Bending down, Pearl gingerly picked it up, examining it for any signs of fissures or cracks, something that would allude to the erratic behavior she had displayed.
Instead, she found a perfectly intact pearl, its hue like that of a clear blue sky. In retrospect, Pearl could admit her fear had sprung from the fact that she could see herself in the pearl, could see her own eyes filled with maddening fury. It was an unsettling sight, but one she couldn’t banish from her mind.
Her thumb absently worked to buff the surface of the pearl as she tried to think of what to do with it. There was always letting her reform, the idea of crushing her out of the question. But Pearl also didn’t want to chance having to see such rage again.
There wasn’t much thought in her actions as she quickly bubbled the pearl, staring at it still through the translucent white barrier of her container. Then the decision came to send it back to Earth, back to the temple as she had with every other gem she and her fellow Crystal Gems had taken care of. She would be taken care of.
Pearl was shocked it even worked from so far, a full star system away, the bubble vanishing in a flash. For a long while after, she didn’t move from that spot in the hallway. The screaming of the blue pearl she had encountered had started others up again, ones who had gone silent after some time waking again. The Nursery was still a cacophonic symphony.
And so, she moved on, finding more pearls huddled in cells. Many of them were accompanied by geodes which they curled near, guarding them as if it were their only life line. Those were the ones Pearl couldn’t help but pity the most. To be so far gone yet cling to some maternal aspect of their being. She found herself wondering if even she could become like so. Wondered if Peridot would truly leave her here to rot with her geode like the rest. Wondered if she could even bond to something that represented the epitome of her imprisonment.
Those pearls, however, were not the worst off she had seen. Rarely, she would come across one still strapped to a gurney, geode stuck in hips too narrow to pass it on her own. When she came into view, they would thrash against their restraints, crying or screaming. Occasionally both.
There was no hesitation in destroying those gems’ forms, no need to drag on their suffering. Pearl could only shove the information that they had been there for thousands of years to the back of her mind, for her own sanity’s sake. Didn’t want to imagine herself in the same situation, her own hips too narrow to deliver on her own.
Slowly, Pearl couldn’t be sure if it was over the course of days or weeks, the screams were silenced, one gem at a time. Wandering around the top floor, Pearl found nothing but empty cells, the entirety of the Nursery eerily quiet. It was like nothing she had ever heard and almost hurt to listen to.
She couldn’t help but hum softly to herself on the elevator ride down, hand mindlessly rubbing the taut skin of her stomach. It should only be days before her own geode would be set to come out, if not hours. Time seemed to allude her here, no way to keep track of it. She had taken, instead, to remembering the forms that the pearls had taken. Remembered time in faces and clothing. In horrid situations and brightly colored geodes.
Her thoughts were interrupted by a soft chime as the elevator slid open to an empty lobby. It was still dark in the nursery as she strode carefully across the room, avoiding various strewn items as she made her way to the desk.
Recalling how Peridot accessed the electric grid was simple. One of the only upsides to a photographic, and holographic, memory. With little effort, she turned the power on, the hum of lights taking up the endless silence in the nursery. Various beeps and chimes sounded, once useful for the staff who has worked there, now lost on Pearl who had never figured out the system. Fortunately, hadn’t been there long enough to.
With the lights back, Pearl opted to sit herself on one of the many couches decorating the lobby. Sinking into the cushions, she decided that this was optimally better than the sorry excuse for a cot in her cell. A heavy sigh left her as all she could do now was relax after having worked tirelessly to care for all of the pearls left in the Nursery. She wasn’t even sure how many it had been, losing count after she had hit the eighth floor of work.
She remained there for a while, fading into quiescence for some time. It was a terrible reflection, but one she opted for as the expressions and positions of the various pearls she had helped flashed through her memory. It was better to remember them, remember the luck she had somehow been given to have time away from the pitiless grasp of this wretched place.
The heavy clank of mechanical feet were the only thing that brought her out of it, her eyes fluttering open to make out Peridot coming down the hall. When she made eye contact with Pearl, she froze, her face stricken.
“How did you-“
“You left the door unlocked,” Pearl replied, cutting her off. She wasn’t in the mood to hear any of her whining or yelling. Instead, she wanted Peridot to feel guilt in some way over having left her there, free to wander in her own incompetence. It was a petty feeling, but one she felt entitled to.
“Oh,” Peridot replied, standing in the middle of the lobby for a moment. The two stared at each other in silence for a moment before Peridot caught on.
“The pearls,” she mumbled, her eyes searching the visible cells before turning her face upwards. “They’re silent. They’re-“
“Gone,” Pearl interrupted. Her voice was absolute and tired. Now that she was no longer quiescent, she could feel the cramping pangs of labor in too-small hips begin. Memories of pearls strapped to gurneys flitted into her mind as she pulled herself up off the couch. Better to get it out sooner rather than never.
Peridot wrinkled her nose at Pearl. “What did you do to them, crush them?” She asked, another sidelong glance tossed upwards. “That would be rather barbaric for a pearl.”
“I didn’t shatter them,” Pearl said, her voice seething. “I just-I took care of them.”
Noting that that was all Peridot was going to get out of the matter, she frowned. Taking a few steps forward, she gave Pearl a good once over, making sure that she herself wasn’t damaged in any manner.
“You got smaller,” she noted, almost fascinated by the prospect. Never before had she seen an incubating pearl. Certainly not all the way to the end of it, anyhow. Peridots would never have been allowed in the Nursery prior to its shut down. That work was meant for feldspars and calcites.
“I normally do,” Pearl retorted. She crossed her arms, eyeing Peridot for a short moment before she subsided to a short, but still mild, contraction. “You’re going to need to move fast. I want this out of me.”
Peridot shot to attention, her eyes wandering from Pearl’s belly to her face, her voice shocked. “Now?”
“Yes, now.”
After the sudden surprise at Pearl’s labor wore off, the two made their way to the elevator, but Peridot was less than excited. She had never had to deal with a pearl in labor. She wasn’t even sure what to do for her other than stand at the door and watch.
Then the door slid open and another predicament hit her. She had been dreading walking down this hallway again for the last two weeks. Albeit, the lighting helped now and having Pearl with her only furthered to calm her nerves.
Still, she hesitated to follow after her, only doing so when Pearl began to fade from sight. What she saw was what she had been told, but not what she had expected.
Every cell was empty. A few still had the remnants of unfinished geodes, but there wasn’t a fully incubated one in sight, or a pearl for that matter. Peridot furrowed her brow as they passed the one cell in particular where the shattered pearl had pieces of herself sprawled across the hall, all now missing.
“So, really,” she started, turning towards Pearl, watching her shoulders hunch and her hands cradle her stomach as they approached her cell. “What did you do with all of them? The geodes, too. I won’t tell anyone.”
Pearl turned to her then, and Peridot rather regretted asking. She looked terrible. Her hair was a mess and dark bags ringed her eyes. The frown on her face was deep set and clothes askew, as if she hadn’t taken a break in ages.
“I sent them home. To my home. Not here. They deserve better than to rot here,” she replied, turning away from Peridot and walking into the cell.
“Why?” Peridot chimed, her voice a cross between disgusted and confused. “What is there on Earth that is home to them?”
A heavy sigh came from Pearl. “Because. They’re better off there. At least there, they’ll be looked after in some capacity.”
Less than satisfied with the answer, Peridot started to speak up before it hit her exactly what Pearl had been trying to accomplish. To help her fellow gem. The idea was foreign to her. They were just pearls. Stars, if one of her fellow peridots were in trouble, there wouldn’t be much she would do to help her. Wasn’t much she could do. But Pearl? She was in a rather unique position having lived away from Homeworld. Having lived away from order.
“Well, I don’t care, so long as they’re not screaming anymore,” Peridot said finally, leaning against the cell frame as Pearl scooted onto the gurney in the center of her room.
She offered Peridot a harrowed glance before looking down with a smile, the first she had since arriving on Homeworld.
“Yes. So long as they’re not suffering.”