Chapter Text
Dear Mr.Valentino,
While we are pleased that you tried out for the role of-
Val sighs as he turns off his phone, all too familiar with the following words.
”Shit,” he mutters, setting his phone on the table. Grabbing his coffee, he massages the blooming ache in his temple. This is the third rejection email this week, why on earth did he think it was a good idea to-
”VAL.” A paper is slammed down in front of him.
Said demon yelps at the unexpected presence, accidentally spilling the hot coffee on his thighs.
”Fuck!”
”Oh shit,” his roommate moves to grab some paper towels before handing them to him, eyebrows creased in concern, “you alright?”
Witholding a wince at the stinging burn, he gives the spider a reassuring smile, “Yeah, thanks Angel.”
He presses the towels against his -thankfully- black pajama shorts.
“Now what’s so important that it was worth my morning coffee?”
”Okay one, I apologized for that.”
”When did you-”
”And two,” Angel slides the paper closer, “Check it out.”
Val gives him a frown but nonetheless does what he’s asked.
The OverLord of Lust Audition Sheet
“Angel honey, what is this?”
”What do you think,” his roommate gives him a grin, “This,” he gestures to the paper, “is the answer to all of our problems.”
”Another audition sheet?”
”Not just any audition sheet,” Angel holds up a hand, “the audition sheet for the most iconic, demanded, and popular indie-show-that-was-picked-up-by-a-larger-studio, Hazbin Hotel!”
Val blinks.
”You mean the one that was about like… redemption and crap?”
”That’s the one,” Angel says brightly.
”I thought they already had a cast?”
”Well yes, but this show requires actors with more experience in musical theater.”
“I see,” Val says slowly, “And you’re giving this to me why?” He glances down at the paper.
”Because Val, this role is perfect for you,” Angel leans forward, “I know things have been tough for us recently, what with all the failed auditions and shit, but this could be our big break. Besides…” he breaks eye contact, suddenly very interested in the nearest wall.
”I mayyyy have already auditioned for ‘The First Guest’. And I mayyyy have gotten accepted for the role.”
Val’s eyes widen.
”Wait, are you serious?”
Angel nods.
“Mierda,” Val breathes, “Holy- that’s amazing Nene. How… how did you even know about this?”
”Oh you know,” a pink flush washes over Angel’s white face, though he keeps his nonchalant position, “I have my ways.”
Oooooh.
“I see,” Val crosses his arms with a knowing smirk, “And do these certain ways happen to consist of a certain winged cat whom you’re not dating?”
”Shut up,” he receives a light slap on the shoulder, “He just happened to get the call while we were hanging out, and we thought it would be a fun idea to audition together.”
”’Hanging out’,” Val hums, “right.”
A slightly harder wack on his shoulder.
”Shut up,” the pink on Angel’s face deepens, “Anyway, we both ended up getting the parts we auditioned for. And then you know, I came across this audition sheet and knew it would be perfect for you.”
”Uh huh,” black hands delicately pick up the paper, “you think a character who…” he squints “‘acts like a Hollywould pimp with a pompous and sadistic attitude’ and is ‘loud and petulant’ is perfect for me?”
”I think,” the paper is plucked out of his hands, “that you’re a talented actor who deserves to be recognized. Come on Val, it also says that this guy is ‘suave and seductive’. That’s totally up your alley.”
”Angie, I’m glad you think so but-”
”Baby,” the spider crosses his arms, “don’t think I don’t remember the loads of cash you brought in during your stripper days.”
Val groans.
”People like anything with big eyes and a scandalous outfit. That doesn’t mean I’m the sexy one.”
”That literally makes no sense.” Angel deadpans, “anyway, boobs out or not, the cash says the truth: you’re fucking sexy. Flaunt that as well as your killer acting skills, and you got the role in the bag. Besides,” his smile turns sheepish, “I may or may not have already recommended you for the role.”
”Angel!”
”What?” He raises all four hands, “I did you a favor. This could really be a game changer for you.”
”But it’s a TV show,” Val stresses, “I don’t know how to act for a TV show.”
”Oh come on,” Angel puts a comforting hand on his shoulder, “A TV set is basically a stage, just a smaller audience and more subtle facial expressions. My point is,” he takes Val’s lower hands in his own, “you work hard, and you deserve to have your talent recognized. This role emphasizes every skill you have; acting, dancing, and killer singing. Plus, if you get the part,” Angel squeezes his hands, “you and I will be working together. Our characters are guaranteed to interact so we’ll have similar schedules.”
Well, working with Angel is a nice thought.
“So what do you say, Val?”
Red eyes look up to meet multicolored ones. Finally, Val’s shoulders slump as he gives a defeated smile.
”I don’t know why I let you drag me into these sorts of things.”
Angel laughs, letting go of Val’s hands to pull him into a brief hug.
”Aw, you know you love me.”
”Not right now I don’t,” he still leans into the embrace.
”Uh huh. Okay.”
oOo
”This was a bad idea,” Val fusses with the sleeves to his faux-lace button up, “does this look too gay? The sheet said he fucks everyone and this is giving ‘come plow me Daddy’. You see it too right?”
”I’m sure the three girls flirting with you on the walk over here would disagree,” Angel looks up from his phone, “Just relax Val. As I said, you’re a talented actor and singer who will blow their minds.”
”Yeah well apparently my character blows a lot of people.”
A crackle from his roommate.
”See? You’re channeling ‘Lust Overlord’ already! You got this, toots.”
“Yeah,” Val takes a breath as he forces the tension to leave his shoulders, “you’re right.”
”Mr.Valentino!” A voice calls.
Deep breaths.
”Break a leg sweetheart,” Angel whispers.
Val gives him a small smile before walking over to a serious looking succubi in black.
”Right this way please,” she says blandly, already starting to walk off.
Shit shit shit can she see his inexperience? Is his nervousness already shining through? Fuck if he can’t get this woman to approve then how’s he supposed to-
He crashes into something. Yelping in alarm, he grabs the first thing his hands come in contact with, instantly bringing it down with him.
”Fuck!” A voice shouts.
Blinking away his confusion, Val’s heart instantly drops as he sees an unfamiliar body crouched down in front of him.
”Joder, I'm so so sorry. I swear I didn’t see you there, fuck, shit are you hurt? Is there anything I can-”
The person looks up, revealing a TV screen for a head with mismatched red and blue eyes. There are slight wrinkles under them, but Val finds they only add to the charm as they crinkle with an amused smile.
”…do..” he finished lamely.
“No it’s okay,” the man answers, brushing his shirt off, “I should have been paying more attention.”
Okay… okay. Nothing to be worried about then.
”Still, I’m sorry,” Val says again, not really knowing what else to do, “I’m just going to- shit, where’d my hat go? H-hold on, I’ll just find it and I’ll get out of your hair. Or well, I guess you don’t have hair I mean-”
Shutupshutupshutupshutup
The man laughs.
”You’re quite an anxious little thing aren’t you?”
A red hot flush spreads through Val’s face.
”I-I’m sorry.”
”Don’t be,” the man holds up a glittering black fedora, “this yours?”
Val can only nod.
”Y-yes. That’s the one,” Does he sound like an idiot? Shit he probably sounds like an idiot. God why does he sound like such an idiot?
He reaches out to take the hat, but suddenly the man's hands are in front of his face as they gently place the hat on his head. Val almost faints when blue tipped claws brush along the side of his temple when adjusting the accessory.
“There we go,” the man says, pleased with his work, “That’s -hold on,” those hands reach up again, this time by Val’s fucking neck as they swiftly adjust his collar. By the time he pulls away, Val’s face is so hot one could probably cook an egg on it.
”That’s much better isn’t it?” The man asks, giving him a gentle smile.
Silence.
He’s talking dumbass, say something back!!
Why are you not talking?? Fuck he’s starting to look at you weird just say somethi-
“Uh huh,” Val breathes.
The man chuckles awkwardly, looking to the side.
“Well,” he claps his hands as he stands up, “I best be going. Sorry again for crashing into you.”
Before Val can say anything else, the man turns on his heel and walks away.
Wait didn’t he come from that direc-
“Mr.Valentino!” He jumps at the harsh call.
”Sorry! I’m sorry!” Is the first thing his mouth shoots before he gets up and dusts himself off. “I just… tripped.”
”Mmhm,” the lady gives him an unimpressed look, “well right this way sir.”
Face still burning, Val follows her.
oOo
The intro with the Casting Directors passes by in a flash and Val honestly doesn’t comprehend most of it. Still, by the non-unimpressed looks on their faces, his introduction probably isn’t that bad.
The music starts. Whilst he starts off nervous, he quickly gets into it, feeling himself become one with the seductive tune. Confidence building, he pulls out every trick that would earn him hundreds during his stripper days.
By the time he finishes, he’s sweating his ass off and his chest is heaving, but as he watches the casting director smile in a way that doesn’t look fake, he thinks that might not have been so bad.
”Soooo, how was it?” Angel drawls, going up to him.
”I… I think it was okay.” Val fiddles with his sleeves, “I mean they didn’t look disappointed. So that’s something… right?”
”Aw, you doubt yourself too much baby,” Angel grabs his hands, “Now c’mon, Husky’s joining us for dinner.”
oOo
A few days later, Val gets an email.
”HOLY FUCK” he screeches.
There’s a crash from the hall down as Angel rushes in wearing quite literally nothing but an oversized T-shirt.
”What happened?!” He asks, eyes wide and already in position to fight.
”Oh shit Angel!” Val quickly averts his eyes.
”Is everything alright here?” Husk asks, walking out of Angel’s room.
Val is just about to answer when he finally processes something.
Husk just walked out of Angel’s room.
And Angel doesn’t have pants on.
Hold up.
“Oh come on you guys,” he groans, “when I’m home? Seriously?”
Husk mutters something along the lines of I told you it was a bad idea and Angel crosses his arms.
”Oh give me a break,” he complains, “it’s not like it’s anything you haven’t seen before.”
”It’s also not something I plan on seeing again, no matter how nice it might look,” Val retorts crossing his own arms.
”Oh yeah, I forget you two used to be a thing,” Husk walks over to the kitchen, “what happened again?”
“Just the regular drama of people who love each other as friends but hate each other as boyfriends,” Val deadpans.
”Oh come on, we didn’t hate eachot-”
”Also his dick was too small.”
”Oh how fucking dare you,” Angel gasps, giving him the mother of all stink eyes, “I am fucking packed and we both know it. Go on Husky, tell him.”
”I’m not getting involved in this conversation,” Husk takes a sip of water but Val can still feel the fond look he’s giving Angel over the cup.
”Traitor,” the spider grumps, “this is not over. Now what was the screaming bloody murder for Val?”
”Oh!” Val scrambles to find his phone on the floor, unfortunately getting a good look at Angel’s everything in the process.
“Oh fuck. Please put some pants on after this,” he presents his phone to his roommate, “I got called for callbacks.”
Both Angel and Husk perk up at the information as Angel quickly scans through the email.
”Holy shit,” he whispers, “Val, this is amazing.”
Said demon yelps as he’s suddenly wrapped in a six-armed hug,
“Mierda,” Val laughs, wrapping his four arms around Angel, “not that I don’t love this, but I think you may be getting a bit over excited Nene. It’s just callbacks.”
”Callbacks,” Angel pulls away, “are the furthest you’ve gotten this entire month.”
”Wow, thanks.”
”Not like that,” Angel swats his arm, “what I’m saying is that they see your talent. This is a good thing.”
”He’s right,” Husk walks over, “from what I hear, you made quite an impression.”
Val looks over at him, head tilted.
”Where’d you hear that?”
”Eh, you hear things around the studio.”
”See?” Angel beams up at him, “I told you.”
”Well let’s just not get our hopes up yet,” Val attempts to cover up his hopeful smile, “like I said, it’s just callbacks. Let’s celebrate if I actually get the part.”
”When you get the part.” Angel corrects.
”Sure,” Val fondly rolls his eyes despite nobody seeing it due to his lack of pupils, “now por el amor de Dios put some pants on.”
oOo
Overall, callbacks go relatively well in Val’s opinion. At the very least, he’s far less nervous than last time.
Still, when his phone buzzes with the email, he rushes to Angel for emotional support.
“I can’t do it,” he slams his phone down on the bed, “they’re gonna reject me, I already know it. Actually, no. I know they’re going to reject me and I’m already prepared for it. This email is just confirmation. Oh shit but what if I actually did get the part? Fuck Angel I can’t-“
”Lemme see that,” nimble hands swiftly pick up the phone. After a quick read over, Angel’s face falls. Instantly, Val’s stomach drops.
’I… I’m so sorry Val,” Angel says with sorrowful eyes. Just as Val opens his mouth, Angel’s face twists into a mischievous grin, “Sorry you bought that you dumb talented motherfucker. You got the part.”
Val’s brain crashes.
”What?” He asks dumbly.
Instantly the phone is shoved in his face. “Holy shit,” he breathes, quickly scanning through the message.
Dear Mr.Valentino,
We are pleased to inform you that-
“I GOT THE PART,” he screams, squeaks of pure joy leaving his body, “WE’RE GONNA BE WORKING TOGETHER.”
“Fuck yes we are,” Angel beams, “C’mon, let’s tell Husk and celebrate.”
”Pizza and a movie?” Val asks hopefully.
”Oh fuck no, America Pizza is disgusting. We’re cooking and watching a movie.”
”Me. Cooking.” Val raises an eyebrow.
Angel stops for a second.
”Good point,” he concedes, “Husk and I will cook, you will choose the movie and sit there looking gorgeous.”
”That’s more like it.” Val giggles.
oOo
”Angel,” Val calls from his room, “Do you think the pantsuit would be better for the table read or should I just stay casual with the jeans and t-shirt?”
“Try the button up with jeans,” Angel yells, “It’s more fancy casual, you know?”
A few minutes later, Val and Angel meet up in the hall.
”This okay?” The moth gives a demonstrating spin.
“Undo the top two buttons.”
”Like this?”
”Exactly.” Angel looks him up and down, “Lookin’ good Mr. Demon of Lust.”
”Shut up,” Val walks off to grab his keys, “C’mon. We’re going to be late.”
oOo
They are not late. In fact they’re twenty minutes early.
”I told you we could have come in later,” Angel mutters.
”Yeah well we need to make a good impression,” Val whispers back, “now we can meet our castmates upfront you know?”
He hears the door open up beside him. Shooting Angel a smug grin, Val turns to the door with his most welcoming smile.
”He-,” he cuts off mid-sentence as a familiar TV screen with bright blue claws and a tasteful black blazer walks in.
”Oh,” Val says in surprise, face already heating up, “it’s you.”
The man looks at him with a confused squint.
”I’m sorry,” the man says, “do I know you?”
The speed of how fast Val’s heart drops to his stomach definitely breaks some kind of record. He finds himself speechless as he and the man stare at each other, one confused, the other mildly hurt.
”Val,” Angel lightly elbows his ribs.
”Hat,” he blurts out, “I-uh… we bumped into each other… and you found my hat. You were very nice about it so… yeah.”
Goddammit, first day and he’s already making himself look stupid.
The man hums.
”Oh yes, I remember bumping into someone. It was the day for ‘Lust Overlord’ auditions, correct?”
Val nods, face still burning as those bright cyan pupils look him up and down carefully.
”Well,” the man sits down next to him, emitting an unintentional squeak from the moth, “I must apologize for not remembering. I was up for over eighteen hours yesterday so I was pretty out of it. Perhaps we can start again?”
Val’s heart somehow beats even harder at the familiar warm smile.
“I’m Vox,” the man says, holding out a hand.
”Valentino,” somehow, he’s able to make his hand clasp the other’s, giving it a firm shake. The man’s -Vox’s- hand is slightly rough and is soothingly cool to the touch.
”Nice name,” the man says, causing the heat in Val’s face to increase, “So Valentino.”
Holy Hell Vox makes his name sound like poetry paired up with the finest wine.
“What part do you play?”
It takes a second for Val’s brain to catch up. When it does, he squeaks at how his hand is still holding Vox’s, quickly pulling away.
”I’m the ‘Lust Overlord’,” he does his best to keep a straight face but he’s pretty sure he’s failing.
”’Lust Overlord’, huh?” Vox hums, “Yeah, I can see it.”
Shit if Val’s face gets any hotter he may actually explode. Is that possible? Can he do that?
“Thanks,” Val manages, “And you?”
”I play the ‘Media Overlord.’”
”Oh,” Val says nodding, “That’s pretty cool.”
Something strikes in his brain.
Wait. Wasn’t “Lust Overlord” in a relaohfuckwhatthefuckdidhejustsay??
“I’m sorry,” his voice cracks, “who did you say you were playing again?”
”’The Media Overlord’.” Vox answers, tilting his head.
Val gulps.
”As in the Overlord my character is in a… you know… relationship with?”
”Well I don’t think it was ever specified that they were in a relationship,” Vox jokes before actually looking thoughtful, “but yeah, I guess that’s a way to put it.”
Val’s gonna explode.
He’s actually gonna explode.
”Oh,” he squeaks, “cool.”
Cool? Cool?! Didn’t he already say “cool” earlier?!
Even when the door opens to reveal a young woman with long blonde hair, it takes a hot twenty seconds for Val to take his eyes off the TV demon.
He’s fucked.
He’s absolutely fucking fucked.