Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Guitar hero.

Guitar hero.  

I NEED TO UPLOAD RIGHT NOW!

My community is starting to assume that I've neglected them, and to be straight up honest, I have! >_<

But... they're the people that respect me the most. I have to pay them back somehow.

In the back of my mind, I knew that wasn't even the real reason I was about to record a new cover. The real reason was far more selfish. Tomorrow is the first day back at school after my failed crowd surf attempt. And I've been doing anything to take my mind away from that fact.

I propped my camcorder up on a chair and started the recording. This will be the first video with my new guitar.

I wonder what my fans will think of it.

Will they make fun of me for replacing my old guitar? They're going to call me careless on top of being neglectful of my fan base!

But whatever... at least my band likes my new guitar. Kita has been texting me nonstop about how excited she is to sing to it tomorrow. Nijika sent me videos of people reviewing it. Ryo thinks it's so cool and wants me to give her the extra equipment it came with (which makes me feel like she is just lying about how cool it is...)

I poured all of my emotions into my playing. All the stress and anxiety of what will happen at school tomorrow were reshaped into music as my guitar displayed them for the world.

I was very focused on playing until- BZZZZTTT BZZZTTT

Huh? A call? o_o

I immediately jumped. I would have dropped my guitar on the ground if it wasn't attached to the strap that was wrapped around my body.

This was a new experience, to feel my phone vibrating in my pocket. I don't even get prank calls!

I grabbed my phone to see a video call?!? From Kita??

Ummm-mm. What do I do?  @_@

I held the vibrating phone in my hands and panicked. Why is she calling me? She's probably really bored.

Yeah. Her other friends probably didn't pick up, so she's resorting to me. 

That makes sense.

But will she think I'm rude if I don't pick up? Or just forget about it and find someone else to call?

B-But! It's Kita! I want to talk to her! 

I panicked for so long that the call request ended.

Kita... she's been so nice to me lately. Maybe I should have picked up. I really don't mind talking to her at all, and she doesn't mind me when I freak out, unlike Nijika and Ryo who look at me differently.

I felt bad but also relieved. That was a social interaction that came out of the blue. There's no way I'm prepared for that. Besides, if she did want to talk to me, she would call me agai- O_O

The phone started to vibrate again. Actually, it began to warp into all kinds of shapes and colors. Or was that just my eyes?

My hands melted into goop and the phone fell through the Bocchi sludge.

I quickly picked my phone back up. I should answer the call. I would be a bad friend if I didn't.

The weekend is over after today, so tomorrow at school, Kita will probably keep asking me why I didn't pick up.

Then I'll have to come up with an excuse. Then she'll find a solution and call me another day.

That sounds like a bigger hassle than just picking up right now and chatting, even if I am unprepared for it.

I-I have to make myself look busy, though! What if she laughs at me for sitting in my closet in the dark?

The phone got to its last ring.

I'm going to have to entertain her for a least an hour though! If I'm too boring, she might never call me again.. 

Whatever. I pressed the accept button.

When she saw my face appear, she brightened up. "Hitori-chan! Hiii!"

So much enthusiasm, this late at night...

"H-hey." I was trying to adjust the camera to a good angle. Should it only show my ceiling? A little bit of my forehead, or maybe even my full face? N-No! I'm too ugly right now >_<

I could tell that Kita's phone was on her bed, and she was sitting in a wariza position, towering over her phone. She was wearing cute pink pajamas.

"My top kind of looks like your tracksuit, huh?"

I nodded quickly. I tilted the phone above my neck because I'm actually wearing the tracksuit right now.

It was too late, though. She noticed and was very surprised. "W-Are you really wearing it even right now?"

I nodded again.

Kita giggled. "Do you not have sleeping clothes? I gotta take you to the mall! Your wardrobe is too small, Hitori-chan."

T-The mall? I've never been there!

I looked at the screen. Kita's eyes were filled with anticipation. There's just no way I can say no to that face!

The mall is scary though. I almost passed out at the thought of it.

Kita is the one who always helps me when I freak out. If I had to go to the mall with anyone, it would definitely be her. Plus, she could teach me all sorts of extrovert stuff.

I scratched the back of my head. "Y-Yeah. That sounds k-kind of fun, actually."

She nodded. "Yup! We can go to one near your house, too! Since it's so far away, I've never really been in that area much. Then you can show me around!"

Finally, something I can easily reply to. I took off my hairpins and showed them in front of the camera. "The nearby mall is where I got these, in fact."

Technically, I was telling her the truth. The last time I was at the mall was when I was in a baby stroller. My parents bought the hairpins for me. But Kita doesn't need to know that.

Kita's mouth dropped. "I always wondered where you got those! They are so cute! Maybe we can get matching ones!"

I just smiled and scratched my head more. If someone saw us matching, they'd probably think I was copying Kita because she's popular.

There was a brief moment of silence. We already talk at school and work a lot, so there was nothing for me to say.

Luckily, Kita is far more entertaining than me. She lifted her phone and walked around her room.

She turned the lights off and turned on some LEDs right after. "You like these, Hitori-chan?"

I nodded. "Make them purple."

She did. "That's one of my go-to colors!"

I couldn't share the same enthusiasm as her. For some reason, the video call felt a lot less intimate than talking in person. Maybe it's just because it came out of the blue and interrupted my alone time.

..Or maybe because it's just that Kita is so fun to talk to in person. Whenever I have something to say, her face always leans towards mine and she devotes all of her attention towards me. 

Ryo says it's annoying how she does that, but... I kind of like it. I can't believe I'm saying this, but... I'd rather meet up with her in person and talk than have a conversation on the phone.

Kita put her phone back on her bed and laid on her stomach. She cupped her chin in her hands. She must have sensed the vibe change because she got a little more serious.

"Hey, Hitori-chan, I'm sorry about giving you the microphone at the festival."

I shook my head. "I-It's alright. I mean, we'll see how bad the reception is tomorrow at school."

She buried her head in her hands. "I-If it is bad, I'm sorry! It's just that- sometimes... hm."

I got confused. "You can tell me."

She looked back up at me, her face a little more red than before. "I just want to see you shine, Hitori-chan. That's also why I submitted the application for the culture festival. You have amazing guitar skills. It feels unfair that nobody else recognizes it."

I got more relaxed. "Thank you, and also I'm glad that you turned that in, at least."

There was a split second of silence. To me, it felt like an eternity, though. I REALLY DON'T WANT TO MESS THIS CALL UP

I quickly spoke again. "A-and don't discredit yourself either. You're the singer. You're the one that shines on stage. And you helped me with my guitar solo, you really did."

Kita's eyes trailed off to the side. "Should I be the one who shines up there? Compared to you... I'm such an amateur. That's why I'm only the rhythm guitar after all. All I need to do is support you."

This is the second time that she's said that. But why? She's earnest, popular, and has great musical skills as well. She has no reason to be hard on herself. She literally brightens up every room that she's in. She's the one that deserves to shine the most.

Kita-chan... she's the biggest inspiration I had while writing If I could be a constellation... Yet I feel like she realized never it. She's the whole who shines. And I wouldn't mind being the one who supports her...

I'm going to have to prove this to her somehow, that she also deserves the spotlight.

But I took too long to think of a reply. She started talking about something else.

I messed up. Why am I so bad at conversations? I hate myself...

We then complained about homework for a while before ending the call.

As soon as the call ended, I thought of a hundred different things I could have said. A hundred different ways I could have comforted her. Something is obviously on her mind... and I just let it go.

Why am I like this? Why am I like this? Why am I like this?

Why do I want to call her back and tell her everything that's on my mind?

She texted me a minute later: "Have a good night! See you tomorrow!"

...

I responded and closed my phone. 

It may have caused me a lot of panic, but it felt good to talk to her outside of school and work. She took time out of her day just to talk to me.

Maybe that's just what normal friendships are like though, I wouldn't know.

Still, I didn't realize how bland my days are when I'm home alone. I appreciate the alone time, but one or two calls a week can't hurt, right? I hope this one call didn't turn her off from calling me ever again.

I hope she calls me again.

If she ever does, I'm going to become someone worthy of her attention. I'll be able to respond correctly and comfort her next time.

I don't know what made her start calling me Hitori-chan instead of Gotoh-san... but I feel like it sparked a whole new meaning to our friendship. I thought having a nickname would be a good relationship indicator... so why do I feel so much more fulfilled that she's calling me by my first name instead of Bocchi?

I forgot about the guitarhero video and just hugged my pillow to sleep. For some reason, Kita was stuck in my mind more than my 30,000 subscribers.

On the way to school, I was a zombie. I walked like a zombie, had the energy of a zombie, and probably emitted the aura of a zombie as well.

Why is that exactly? I didn't get any sleep!

Normally I care about how I come off to others, but I was quite literally so tired that I didn't mind being a zombie this morning.

That was until... someone attacked me!

I felt a force press against my backpack. Who is this?? An assassin? I quickly turned around and saw Kita.

"I'm glad I woke you up, Hitori-chan! Good morning!"

I quickly flushed red. Whether it was from the physical contact that I'm not used to, or from the embarrassment that I came off as sleepy to everyone was unknown.

Kita quickly skipped to my side and we continued watching. She leaned her head close to mine as she talked, "So has anyone recognized you as the stage diver yet?"

A pit of emptiness opened up in my stomach. You're the only one in school I talk to... so of course, nobody has.

I started to scratch my head, "N-Not yet! I'm afraid of what will happen in my classes though..."

I felt the bubbly girl beside me stop walking. I turned around and saw her thinking. She began to speak again when her eyes matched mine. "Alright! Let's meet up at lunch break today, and you can tell me if anyone's been bothering you!"

I nodded, "Alright."

She started to tell me about how embarrassed she was about the whole performance and how some of her friends might tease her for it. I was tuning out most of it since I didn't recognize any of the names she was mentioning. I was focusing on the fact that I didn't say good morning back to her... that might've hurt her feelings.

The bell rang.

Kita swiveled toward me. "Okay! See you at lunch!"

As she began to walk away, I grabbed her backpack, "Have a good day, Kita-chan."

She stopped and faced me once more, smiling like usual, "You too!"

First class report: Nobody talked to me.

Next class report: Nobody talked to me.

Why did I even get my hopes up? It's almost like I prefer someone acknowledge me as the stage diver rather than be ignored all day.

And every class report afterward yielded the same results...

I had survived until Lunch Break!

I quietly sat in the usual spot, waiting for Kita.

...Waiting... for Kita..

Today is the first day back since the school festival. She has so many friends who are probably going to be praising her for her performance right now. I'm sure that in her pure mind and among the many social interactions she's had, she wouldn't remember a small promise we made in the morning to meet up.

Yet she did. I heard the eager footsteps I usually do whenever Kita and I promise to practice our guitars during lunch.

Kita showed up. She sat down in the chair that was propped in front of mine and faced me. She even scooted a little forward.

"So Hitori-chan... how was your day?"

"It was alright."

"Did anyone make fun of you?"

I looked down at the floor in shame. Kita is the most sociable person I know. The fact that I'm invisible to everyone in the school must come off as pitiful to her.

I stammered out my answer. "N-No. Nobody really paid me any attention at all."

She brought her finger up to her lip and looked towards the ceiling. "After our big performance? That makes no sense!"

Still looking at the floor, I began to shiver. She must not even want to be here with me...

Kita then put her hand on my shoulder. I quickly jolted and looked up to meet her eyes. "Hitori-chan, how were you seated during the day?"

I sighed. "I don't know. I was too tired like most days, so I didn't care how I sat..."

She then stood up. Must have had a revelation, huh?

Kita pointed at me with stars in her eyes. "I know what it is! It's your posture! You must be too unapproachable!"

My face heated up. "M-My posture? Y-You mean people do notice me... but they think I'm too scary!?"

Kita eagerly nodded her head. "Yup!"

She began to walk around. "You see, I don't like it when people are gloomy.. so I always try to cheer them up. But even then, nobody wants to approach someone who looks like they're rude..."

I shriveled up. "So people think I hate everyone. Now I want to change schools."

Kita quickly rushed over to me. "N-No! To be honest, people do want to talk to you. You just need to make yourself seem like you want to talk back."

Does she know that for certain..? Have people really wanted to talk to me before?

She continued talking. "Stand up! Let's fix your stance!"

I weakly stood up. Maybe it's because we were already talking about my posture, but even I could sense how much I was slouching.

Kita put her hands on her hips. "Not good. You need to look up."

I lifted my head up and awkwardly smiled.

She giggled. "Not like that... is it okay if I help you?"

I nodded.

She helped me stand up straight, puff out my chest, and look forward. My face was heated up during the whole exchange. I can't even stand right! And she is acting like it isn't weird to touch my body so much...!

Kita stepped back, her face kind of red. "You have.. a good body shape... and you must be very ticklish."

I awkwardly laughed.

Why am I so awkward? I need to fix myself!

I slapped myself to wake up. Kita was looking at me in both confusion and wonder.

I stepped in front of her and looked at her in the face. I don't know if it's because Kita the Extrovert told me how to stand, but I felt a lot of confidence standing like this. I was able to look at her without hesitation, a first for me.

Kita was different though. She couldn't maintain eye contact with me and looked away.

She just muttered, "I like this, Hitori-chan..."

I smiled. "Really? I'm glad!"

When she looked back in my direction, I raised my hand and compared our heights. "Wh-Who knew I was actually a little bit taller than you..."

She brought her hand up to her mouth and looked sideways. "I didn't."

I plopped back down on my chair. "Standing like that hurts my back!" >.<

Kita sat down in front of me on her chair, with stars in her eyes. "But Hitori-chan! If you want people to talk to you, then you have to be more confident like that!"

I started to slouch in my seat. So much effort just to be social... I don't think the tradeoff is worth it after all.

Kita then brought up her finger. "Now we will go over proper seating posture!"

I waved out my hands frantically. "N-No! I'm good for now."

She put her hands in between her legs and leaned forward. "But, Hitori-chan-!"

I pulled out my phone. "It's fine... after all, there are some people who already acknowledge my guitar-playing skills."

Kita tilted her head. "Really!? Who?" ouch...

I quickly brought up my guitarhero account and shoved my phone in her face. "I-I post covers of popular songs on my video account. Lots of people follow it."

She gently grabbed my phone out of my hands. "Wow! Hitori-chan, this is amazing!"

A sly smile formed on my face. "You think so?"

Kita started to watch a video and nodded. "Mhm! This is the playing that encapsulates me.. I can't believe you've been recording it this whole time without telling me! I'm going to watch all of these videos!"

I scratched the back of my head because of all the praise. "Yeah. But I haven't been posting on it much lately because of our band practices."

She gave me my phone back. "You should give your followers a gift then. Have you ever tried singing on one of your covers?"

My face heated up. "T-That's your forte! B-But yes, I have, and I deleted it right after recording it."

Kita's eyes lit up. "Why? I think that you'd be amazing at singing!"

I looked off to the side. "Not at all!"

She cupped my right hand with both of hers. "Let's go have a karaoke session, Hitori-chan!"

U-UWAHH? 

We already planned a trip to the mall! And we have the festival after-party after school today! My social battery will never recover!

Kita calmed down, and let go of my hand. She giggled a little. "Sorry. But think about it, okay?"

I nodded in panic. Looks like she realized that she overwhelmed me...

The bell suddenly rang.

Kita stood up. She looked down at me and smiled. "Let's meet up after school! We can go to Starry together today!"

"O-Okay."

She left. Kita really is special. Somehow in this short time, she's managed to talk about my posture, get me to reveal my secret youtube account, and also pitch a karaoke night. How can someone as boring as me ever manage to get on her level?

I smiled. Well, maybe I'll never get as social as her. But at least someone like her wants to spend time with me.

I walked confidently to my next class without dreading any interactions.

Today Kita and I get to meet up after school! This happens often so that we can go to Starry and arrive at practice at the same time. 

However, there are days when she walks with her other friends and then comes to Starry afterward, so I have to walk all the way by myself. It makes me appreciate the walks that we do have because she is able to fill the long distance with interesting stories or conversations.

We made sure to walk together today because, at Starry, Nijika and her sister should be planning an afterparty for the school festival! (We couldn't have it directly after the festival, because I was injured from my stage dive.)

My stomach was filled with butterflies thinking about it. I never go to any parties. And even though this one will just be small and short-lived, I can say that I've been to a party!

I timidly waited for Kita at the gate. I quickly spotted her chatting up a crowd of three friends.

She glanced in my direction and noticed me. She turned towards her friends and waved them off to go join me. I wonder what they think of me. Why would Kita Ikuyo ditch them for a loner like me?

When she caught up, Kita leaned in as she began to entertain me with a conversation. We began our walk to Starry together.

Chapter Text

Kita pushed me, winking and smiling. "There's just no way that you would risk that!"

I had just told her that we should see how the rest of the band would react if I put some really bad jokes in the lyrics for the next song.

I ran forward, and then dramatically sighed. "Writing them is going to get too boring otherwise..!"

I don't know how I got this worked up. I looked over my right shoulder, smiling. It's like you transformed me into someone else...

Kita began to chase me and opened her mouth, about to say something, but then stopped in her tracks.

I looked forward, and my mood changed. "Oh, we're here."

Originally, I was very excited about the afterparty. But I was really enjoying myself with just Kita... there's no way I can extend my playful mood to even just the rest of Kessoku Band!

Kita looked at me and put her left hand on my right shoulder. "Deep breaths, Hitori-chan. Let's walk in together."

Side by side, we walked down the staircase to Starry.

Kita slowly opened the door, and balloons immediately came out from the inside!

I struggled to walk through the door because of the balloons. 

The inside of Starry was thumping from a speaker playing loud music. I quickly glanced at the table, and Seika was sitting there on her phone next to PA-san. They were both wearing party hats, although they were not properly fastened and were falling off the sides of their heads.

Ryo had a party popper and was running around in circles as Nijika chased her.

Kita, who always goes to social events, had an unimpressed look in her eyes. "Remind me to never go to another celebration hosted by these-"

POP!

The party popper had ended up exploding in Kita's face!

I stepped back in shock.

Nijika ran in front of us and brought her hand up to her mouth. "Oh! You guys came! Welcome to the afterparty!"

Now, I was the unimpressed one. This "party" might even be worse than the one I tried to host at my house.

I reached out my hand, and was about to say something, but looked towards Kita for approval. It would be fun if we both started talking bad about this~!

..But Kita was currently blushing up a storm, and talking to Ryo now.

...Of course, she is...

Nijika tilted her head, "Something wrong, Bocchi-chan?"

I looked down, "Nope. Not at all."

The Dorito Girl slapped my back and began leading me over to a pile of red cups. "Let's see... we've got water and soda! You can choose what you want."

I didn't care about the drinks. I cared far more about the fact that Kita and I spent so much time together... just for her to forget about me and talk to Ryo instead.

It's only natural though.

I wasn't special to her in any way. Just entertainment until she got to see her favorite person on Earth.

I am just supposed to be in the background, and let everyone else have their momen-

"B-O-CCH-I-CHAN! Wake up!"

Nijika was hitting my head with drumsticks. I quickly snapped out of my head, "Y-Yes?!"

She put a hand on her hip. "You were totally spacing out! So, what drink do you want?"

"Water, I guess."

Nijika suddenly raised both of her hands, in a victorious pose. "I knew it! I told you, Ryo!"

I quickly spun towards Ryo. She gave us a thumbs up and nonchalantly walked towards us, ignoring Kita who was trailing behind.

The drummer quickly began to sing her own praises. "We placed a bet on whether or not you would want to drink water!"

I shriveled up. Why? Because you think I'm boring?

On her way over, Ryo poured some water into a red cup that was lying on the table and then handed it over to me when she arrived. I don't even feel like drinking this anymore...

Nijika snapped her fingers. "You and Kita-chan took a while to come, so now we have to clean up Starry before customers start coming in! We probably won't have any time for practice today!"

I looked at her with tired eyes. "You and Ryo-san were the only ones who got to enjoy the party..."

Ryo pointed over to Seika and PA-san. "Not just us. Look at them enjoying the party."

They're still on their phones!

"Look, Ryo-senpai! I already picked up some of the confetti!"

Her voice made me freeze up.

I guess I'll clean up too, so you guys don't think that I'm lazy on top of being boring...

It took about half an hour, but the balloons and the rest of the decorations were successfully put away.

I sat down on a foldable chair in exhaustion. This is not how I wanted it to go... I should have not gotten my hopes up at all.

I glanced around. Kita was talking to Ryo, and Nijika was approaching them, ready to join in on their conversation.

Should I join in, too?

..Or is the band already used to me being too quiet to interject in their talks?

I looked down to the ground. Despite being with my bandmates, I feel lonelier than ever.

"Hitori-chan! Are you okay?!"

I looked up, and Kita was there, bending over to talk to me! I'm surprised that she left Ryo...

I peered around her small frame and noticed that Ryo and Nijika were playing tug-of-war with a purple party streamer.

"Y-Yeah. I'm fine."

Kita raised an eyebrow, "Are you sureeee?"

I shook my head no and stammered my response. "Kita-chan. Let's go to the mall after school tomorrow!"

A smile quickly formed on her face. "Really? Do you really want to go? Let's go invite Ryo-senpai and Ijichi-senpai!"

She grabbed my forearm and dragged me over to the yellow and blue-haired combatants. Their fighting immediately broke as we approached.

What also broke, was my short burst of confidence. I only invited Kita out of the blue because I treasured our time before we got to the party... I would rather not have the rest of the band with us during our shopping.

Nijika looked back and forth between me and Kita. "What's up?"

Kita, still gripping my arm with her left hand, raised it in the air. "Me and Hitori-chan are going to the mall tomorrow! You guys wanna come?"

Nijika glanced at the ceiling, and then back down. "Sorry. I have to help my sis run Starry. This is too short of a notice to find replacements for all four of us."

Without a second thought, Kita swiveled her head towards Ryo. "Ryo-senpai! What about you?"

Ryo didn't even say yes or no yet. "I'm surprised that Bocchi is going with you to the mall."

The bubbly girl let go of my arm and bent her knees, then brought her own hands together as she spoke in excitement. "We're going to go clothes shopping! She always wears her tracksuit everywhere, after all."

Nijika put her hands on her hips. "You should consider getting something casual, too. You only dress up nicely when we plan to go out, otherwise, you're just in your sailor uniform all of the time."

Ryo crossed her arms. "Sorry, I'm not interested in dolling up Bocchi. I'd rather spend my time doing something productive, like getting through more of my movie watchlist."

She had begun to walk away, but Nijika gripped her shirt. "Nope! You're going to be helping me out at Starry since we're going to be understaffed!"

Kita turned towards me and smiled. "Guess it's just you and me then! We're going to have a lot of fun!"

I couldn't help but nod and crack my first smile since we had first arrived at the party.

So that's how Kita and I ended up leaving school together for the second time in a row! 

I was able to walk with some pep in my step as we left for the bus stop, and Kita seemed to be enjoying our walk over there as well. We had to take the bus over since I wouldn't want to make Kita walk the long distance I take to my house every day.

My mother was so excited that I told her I was actually going to hang out at the mall with a friend, so she offered to pick us up and drive us over there. But I can't let her say something embarrassing! So Kita and I settled with stopping at my house first to say hi to my family.

This is the first time that only Kita is coming to my house. Last time, Nijika had come along. Maybe this time, I won't be left out of the family conversation..

The bus was packed full of people. Kita and I managed to sit next to each other but were quickly smushed together due to the large amount of people on it. We turned our faces towards each other, and she giggled.

As we were getting rocked back and forth on the moving bus, I asked Kita a question about her apparel, "Are you fine going out in your school uniform? I know you like to dress up for occasions like this..."

She gave me a bright smile, "Nah! I can change out of this easily. Imagine if I wore my blue dress, I'd have to be careful every time I try on clothes to not let it wrinkle up >.>"

After a short ride, we arrived at my house.

The door opened, and my parents greeted us. Kita immediately bowed when she saw them.

My mom was the first to start talking, "Hello again, Kita-chan! I hope you have a good time with our Hitori today!"

Kita nodded. "I'll take good care of Hitori-chan at the mall."

Dad stepped back and started to shake, "Huh? Now I know you will!"

Oh yeah... this is the first time she's called me by my first name in front of them. They're probably surprised that I've managed to grab Kita's respect...

Kita closed her eyes and tilted her head, smiling. Suddenly, the sound of small footsteps running towards the door could be heard.

Futari squeezed in between Mom and Dad's legs to say hi. "You promised to recite the Munions song next time you came here!"

Kita brought her hand up to her mouth. "I did. I'm going to be busy with your sister today though, so I'll come over again and play it just for you!"

Futari blurted out a random noise of excitement. I knew that one of my family members would end up being embarrassing.

I scratched the back of my head. "Alright. We're going to go now. I'll see you guys later."

Kita bowed once more. "Yes! We will be going now."

My family said their goodbyes, and we started our walk over to the mall.

As we walked, Kita turned to me. "Whoops. Now I have to come over again one day. I can't let your little sister down."

If anyone else found a reason to schedule a visit to my own house without my permission, I'd be upset. "I don't know how you do this..."

I don't think I'm made for going out to places.

I'm just such a downer.

Kita was having the time of her life, searching through clothing racks and gushing over dresses. While I managed to diminish into nothing but her personal bag carrier.

How did this happen? This is the fifth clothing store that we've visited in the mall so far.

For the first few shops, Kita kept giving me clothes to try on, insisting that they would look amazing on me.

But for some reason, I kept saying no. Why am I even here if I'm going to decline every opportunity to try clothes on? Eventually, Kita stopped offering up clothes to me. To make myself useful, I proposed to carry her bags for her, and now she's giving them to me without a second thought.

After checking out some fleece pants, we left the store. It's too late for me to try and enjoy this mall trip. I just can't match the excitement and energy she has for clothes of all things... I'm totally fine with just wearing my tracksuit everywhere.

As we approached a Muji shop, Kita suddenly stopped in her tracks. She tightly grabbed my arm. "Hitori-chan! I refuse to believe you're enjoying this at all!"

I looked off to the side, "I'm okay. You can keep shopping."

She brought her hands to my cheeks and forced me to look into her eyes. "We're supposed to be shopping together! How can I make you feel better?"

"Nothing will... I don't think that I'm made for shopping."

Kita and I were standing in the middle of the walkway. People were walking past us, probably noticing our little spout.

That's right. I'm not made for going to the mall or shopping at all. Now, Kita won't feel like shopping at all until she manages to cheer me up...

...All I do is kill the mood, huh?

Suddenly, Kita grabbed my wrist and started marching over in the opposite direction, dragging me along.

Tears started to form in the corners of my eyes. "A-Are we leaving?"

Kita turned around and smiled. "No, silly! We're going to the food court!"

She sat me down at a table and told me I had the very important job of guarding her new clothes. Then, she went off to order some food.

I put both of my arms on the table and buried my face into them. Why isn't she just giving up on me? I already gave up on our trip an hour ago.

The smell of some fresh chicken got me to pop my head up.

As I looked up, Kita elegantly sat down on the chair in front of me. We were now sitting across from each other at a small table.

The plate she brought had some yakitori sticks.

"Let's see... I got two for you and two for me! If you want another one, you can have one of mine."

I looked at Kita. My pupils were shaking. Really? She bought me food even though I was being a downer...

She didn't look back, and instead popped one of the yakitori skewers in her mouth, and began eating the food on it.

"Kita-chan... thank you."

She rested her head on one hand a pointed at the plate with the other. "You're welcome, Hitori-chan. You still haven't eaten yet, though."

My mood had already been lifted because she was so thoughtful. I grabbed a stick and began to eat as well.

Licking her lips, Kita began to talk. "So, you don't like shopping for clothes. How about we check out some perfumes when we're done eating?"

I lowered the stick I was eating off of and looked to the side. "We can. Don't discount the clothes though, I'm not going to leave without buying any."

She brightened up. "Really? I'm so glad to hear that!"

I felt myself start to redden up in embarrassment. "That means that even if I say no, you have to force me to try some on."

Kita took her phone out and excitedly showed me some pictures of dresses. "Let's look for this one! I found it before we came, and I think a nearby store has it!"

You had thought of some clothes for me even before we came on this trip? Wow...

Chewing on some chicken still, I nodded. "...Like I said, I might get stubborn again. So you better drag me over there still, no matter what I say!"

"Okay~!"

I grabbed my second stick. "You can have your second one."

She looked at it, her pupils circling like swirls. "I might gain too much weight! You can have it!"

You're already too small and fragile... I don't want to hear that.

I picked up the skewer and shoved it in her mouth. "You got me to stop complaining. So you need to, as well."

Kita's eyes glanced toward the stick, then my hand that was holding it, and lastly towards my face. Her cheeks almost became as red as her hair.

Something about being assertive made me feel good. I feel very good right now, actually!

I glimpsed at Kita, and now she was the one who was acting reserved, just quietly eating the last of her chicken.

After a few moments of silence, she suddenly stood up. "Alright, Hitori-chan! Perfume time!"

We walked over to the perfume store. Deep down... I'm glad that we're here. I currently don't use any, and since I'm in my room all the time, I wonder if I smell musty >_<

I was immediately overwhelmed by the large selection.

I held on to Kita. "W-Where do we start?!"

She looked at me and smiled. "Anywhere! Which ones look appealing to you?"

I slowly walked through the aisles. There were a lot of different bottle variations. Some bottles were shaped like high heels, gemstones, or other luxurious items.

Would I be paying even more for the shapes? I just want to smell good...

We came across a shelf that had some of the "basic" scents, and a small card that you can spray the perfume on to smell it.

Kita immediately grabbed a bottle and sprayed herself instead of the card.

I was revolted. "Wa-Wha- are you allowed to do that?"

She winked. "They won't know! Now, smell me!"

Kita brought her forearm up to my nose, without my consent, and the scent of watermelon immediately entered my nostrils and into my brain.

Not bad, actually. After a few moments of thinking of a nice response, I began to talk. "It's.. nice. I bet you have all sorts of flavors already, huh?"

Kita agreed. "Yup! Some for the summer, some for the fall, I never run out!"

So this is the secret to being extroverted... I just need to get lots of different scents on myself. Hehe.

I rolled up my sleeve and grabbed a blue bottle. Without reading the name, I sprayed it onto myself.

I offered my arm up to Kita, and she wrapped her hand around it and brought it up to her nose. The little bit of air that she exerted on me in this process made me shiver.

As quick as she took it, she let go of my arm. "I think it fits you pretty well, Hitori-chan!"

"Sh-Should I buy it?"

She lifted an eyebrow at me. "You don't want to try out more scents?"

I stiffly crossed my arms. "I still don't like shopping. If you approve of it, then that's enough for me."

Kita then tilted her head endearingly. "Okay! I'm sure that everyone else will like it, too. I want this small bottle, so I'm going to just buy both! You can pay me after!"

I nodded. Thank you for letting me avoid the cashier...

We switched bags. Now Kita was carrying her clothes, and I was carrying a small paper bag that contained both of our perfumes.

She pointed at me with a determined face as she handed it over to me, "Make sure not to swing this one around!"

Kita and I made our way over to a clothing store. She looked at me with stars in her eyes, "I'm going to dress you up a lot! Have lots of patience, okay?"

I looked away to hide my dread. If you'll enjoy it at least... then I guess you can do whatever you want to me.

As it turns out, I did need a lot of patience for what she put me through. However, I began to enjoy it.

She seemed to have an endless stream of clothes to have me try on! Every time I left the changing room, she brought me more clothes!

However, it was fun to watch her gush over some of the outfits I ended up wearing. We ended up setting aside some jeans, shorts, shirts, and a few dresses for me to buy.

It wasn't just Kita's approval that I needed to decide on some clothes. To prove how independent I am, I also started to approve of my clothes!

...Maybe that's why I started to enjoy the whole process. It wasn't just Kita dragging me around anymore, I started to voice out my own opinions as well.

The last dress that I ended up wearing was the one she had wanted to find for me. It had a white top lined with pink ribbons and a pink skirt that raised a bit over my knees. When I walked out of the dressing room, Kita immediately pulled out her phone and started to take pictures of me.

She made sure to get a picture from each angle. "Hitori-chan! You need to buy this one!"

I modestly pressed my fingers together. "Y-You think so?"

"Yes! Ijichi-senpai and Ryo-senpai already approve!"

She shoved her phone in my face, and I could see a smug sticker sent by Nijika and a thumbs up 👍 emoji sent by Ryo in the Kessoku Band group chat.

"Y-You sent it to them so quickly."

Kita began to push me back into the changing room. "Just like how fast you're gonna buy it! Get changed back into your tracksuit!"

I didn't even have to close the curtains on myself, by the time I set foot in the changing room, Kita had closed them behind me. She must like how this looks on me, huh?

As I took off the dress, I held it out in front of me and smiled. Now I know what I'm going to wear to karaoke.

When I exited the changing room, I immediately felt stiff and awkward in my tracksuit. Have I really been wearing this my whole high school life? "Kita-chan, I know what you mean now when you say I should have more variety..."

She lifted her hand in victory. "I know, right?! Now let's buy all these clothes!"

The exchange with the cashier was very intense, but because of fear of embarrassing myself in front of Kita, I was able to stutter fifty percent less than usual!

When we left the store, I was carrying a large bag of clothes. I was okay with the large price, as I never purchase anything for myself.

Before Kita could say anything, I spoke up first. "Wh-Where do you want to go next?"

She lit up. "I don't know! Let's just explore around for a little bit!"

And for some reason, I was completely fine with that.

After a bit of walking, we came across a store that neither of us recognized. It seemed to have a lot of antique items.

I turned towards Kita, "Do you want to see what's in there?"

She shakily nodded. "It looks kind of scary, though. You lead the way."

Just like that, she put both of her hands on my shoulders, and we made our way into the store.

The interior was full of ancient shrine equipment, and lots of pots. There was a weird incense burning near the counter, as well. There didn't appear to be anyone working here.

At this point, I was starting to become afraid, too. The smell of my new perfume is going to wear off, I don't want to be here! >_< But, I can't let myself seem scared in front of Kita... I think that she's genuinely afraid of all the stuff here.

As we passed by the shrine equipment, we got to another section of the store. There was a row of creepy dolls lined up on a rack. They were leaning against each other.

Each step I took started to get heavier because Kita's grip on my shoulders began to tighten.

I noticed an overhead light that was losing power, and that's when I heard someone reciting a sutra. I turned my head back, "W-We're not alone in here... we should leave."

She immediately nodded. As soon as we turned around, we came across an old man in a kimono!

He brushed his hand on a demon mask that was hanging next to us, "Do you want to buy one of these? ...I've heard that there aren't any spirits in these masks anymore."

He spoke Japanese in a very traditional tone. Wait... he's talking to me?

Because of the anxiety that comes from a social experience combined with the creepy vibes, I bluttered out my next sentence. "W-We'll pass! Th-Thank you!"

We speed walked out of the store.

Kita took a deep breath and turned towards me, with an awkward smile and a sweat drop coming down her forehead. "Why don't we go somewhere normal? Like that hat store!"

She pointed over to a much friendlier store, one that had customers and workers walking around the inside of it. I nodded my head, "Okay."

When we arrived inside the store, I was surprised at how many hats they had in their selection. There were baseball hats, straw hats, bucket hats, and just about anything that you could think of!! Kita was immediately encapsulated, and she turned towards me in excitement. "Hitori-chan! These can compliment so many of my outfits! I need your opinion on everything I try on!"

Oh... of course she does. But she gave me so much attention when I was trying on clothes, so this is the least that I can do to pay her back. And at least she didn't ask me to try any hats on, I'm a bit burned out of shopping at this point.

As she tried more and more hats, I began to realize that Kita Ikuyo just looked good in anything that she wore. Whether it's streetwear, conservative fashion, or adorable dresses, she can pull it all off. It almost hurts my self-confidence to think about it... but at least she thought I looked great in the clothes that I bought.

She struggled to put on a floppy sun hat and clumsily smiled at me when she did, showing all of her bright white teeth.

For some reason, my vast imagination transported us to a field of sunflowers. We are both wearing plain white dresses, and Kita is wearing the adorable hat she just showed me at the store. The sun is beaming on both of us, and the heat on my skin makes me feel warm inside. The wind caused blades of grass and the petals of the sunflowers to gently move in a rhythmic motion.

On her Isosta account, she only posts pictures of her with her friends at the mall or small restaurants. So something like this field... just how much of a big step would that be in our friendship if we ever arrived here?

"Hitori-chan?"

I immediately woke up. "Oh!"

Locking eyes with Kita, I nodded. "It looks really good on you."

She smiled gleefully and spun in a circle as she wore it, then immediately flushed red, bringing her hands down to her tiny school skirt so that it didn't go flying.

I wonder what scenario you're thinking of right now... probably something with Ryo.

After a few more demonstrations, Kita purchased the sun hat, and a baseball cap. She brought her hands up in the air. "This has been such a productive trip, Hitori-chan! Let's get some drinks!"

We ended up getting some boba. I've never had it before, so Kita recommended me the Taro flavor, and got the Thai Tea for herself.

..It was a unique beverage. I was not used to eating and drinking at the same time. But I can already see how amazing this could be in a group setting, no one would question my quietness since I'd be drinking and eating boba at the same time! There'd be no reason for me to get the straw out of my mouth!

Kita and I were sitting across each other again at a small table, she had rested her head on her hand as she sipped the drink she was holding in her other hand. "You know, Hitori-chan, it's getting a bit late. When we're done drinking these, are you fine with going home?"

I nodded. I'm tired too, but not because of the time, but instead because of how much fun I've unexpectedly had.

After a few deep breaths, I opened up my mouth. "Kita-chan! I had a lot of fun today! Thank you so much for coming out with me!"

She looked at me and blindly stared for a few seconds. Is she going to laugh at me? This isn't how you end a hangout, is it? I'm not going to say any more, but I do hope that she knows how much I appreciate this whole trip. If she is always this fun to be around, I wonder what it'd be like to keep going out and doing stuff together...

Unexpectedly, she gave me a very heartwarming smile. "I'm so glad that you enjoyed it, Hitori-chan! I was really worried that you would never want to hang out with me again..."

Really? You're the one that made it so great, you lifted my mood and got me to shop...

I put down my drink. "Kita-chan, I enjoyed it a lot. Thank you for putting up with me even though I'm boring, I'm excited for karoake now."

She looked off to the side. "You were far from boring. I'm always scared that I'm the boring one. Whenever I go out with people, they always end up on their phones, which takes me out of the moment, but I'm glad that you never got on yours."

Th-that's just because nobody texts me! I never have to check my phone...

Kita swiveled towards me and kept talking, "But I had such a good time that I never went on mine at all, either! Normally I would have taken so many pictures for Isosta by now!"

I lowered my head a bit. "S-Sorry."

She leaned over the table. "Don't be sorry at all!" She then grew a smug smile, "but if you are sorry, then you could take one with me right now..."

A picture? All of her followers are going to see us together on there. I'm sure that they recognize all of the other people she posts pictures with, but nobody will know who I am. Is Kita not worried of that at all?

She was already putting her phone in selfie mode and scooted her chair next to mine. She threw up a peace sign and aimed the camera towards us. "Hitori-chan, smile!"

I awkwardly smiled, and she snapped the picture. She immediately typed a lot on her phone, probably posting the picture, and then brought her phone to her chest with a smile.

My ahoge spun in a circle as I timidly asked her a question, "Kita-chan, c-can you send that to me as well?"

When have I ever been this direct?

She eagerly nodded. "Yes!"

At this point, our drinks were almost done. I stood up. "Let's start walking out of here."

Sh-Should I offer her a hand? Or just let her get up on her own..?

She stood up by herself.

As we walked through the store, both of us were too tired to talk much, so we were just making random remarks about whatever we passed by.

However, there was one certain item that caught my attention: a telescope sitting in the window of the store. I stopped walking to stare at it in awe. I wonder how many stars and planets I could see with that?

Kita stopped walking and came back to stand at my side and look at the telescope as well. "Do you like space, Hitori-chan?"

I looked off to the slide and blushed a little. I never share my interests with others... because I've always assumed that nobody cares about me enough to listen.

I nodded and unintentionally muttered my reply. "Yes, almost as much as I like music."

She brought her hands together. "Wow! I didn't know that! How much do you know about it?"

We started to walk again, and I began to talk my head off. Planets, stars, the cosmos. Everything. Aside from practicing guitar, my next favorite way to spend time by myself is to watch a lot of videos about space. Something about it is just so appealing to me. The emptiness and infinite length... the fact that every celestial object is so far apart, yet can be viewed together beautifully at a long distance. Even a lonely, dying star can be poetically beautiful and appreciated by everyone. Once the lonely star explodes, it reveals a large variety of colors that others might have ignored and not seen otherwise.

Learning about space is so interesting for me since I can incorporate it into Kessoku Band lyrics as well.

As I began to describe a black hole, I got so into it that I started to move my hands around. The whole time, I could feel Kita watching me.

She never looked away once as we left the mall together.

I finally made it to my room alone! I had worried so much about Kita walking home alone in the night, that I convinced her to have her mom come over and pick her up from my house. I didn't get to see her mom, but I know that she saw me, since I was sitting with Kita in front of my house while we waited.

My parents were surprised that I had gotten so many clothes, and in my exhausted state, I only told them that I had a fun time. Now I have something to talk about with them later! 

Speaking of my clothes, I put them all in my closet. But, that revealed a very bad consequence of the trip:

My closet... is too full for me to hide in anymore...

I can't play my guitar by myself late at night and record videos for guitarhero like that! 

...

So this is the cost... of going out on a trip with you...

If you're going to shake up my life this much, then maybe I wouldn't mind going out and having fun again...

Tired and too exhausted to do anything else, I went to bed with a smile on my face.

Chapter Text

Today was a normal walk to school. Pretty normal, I’d say. Kita and I’s mall trip last night was a lot of fun, but now I have nothing to look forward to anymore >.<

There are no upcoming Kessoku Band concerts, no special bands performing at Starry, and Kita hasn’t told me anything about our karaoke trip. Should I ask her about it? No… I shouldn’t bother her like that.

…I really don’t know how to handle friendships.

She planned the mall trip, and the karaoke trip, and scheduled a visit to my house. What have I contributed? Nothing. I never even text first, either. I have zero worth to keep around. If Kita never talked to me first, then our friendship would probably quickly vanish.

Wait… I’m slouching right now. I can't get in my head like this when I walk to school and others can see me.

As I walked through the school gate, I fixed my posture and looked up for once. Maybe I should text Kita about the karaoke trip. After all, she was the one who signed us up for the school festival without thinking of the consequences, and it turned out pretty well. Surely sending a small text wouldn't be too big of a task for me, right?

My cheeks started to warm up. So embarrassing. I’m so lonely, all I can think about is you. I should have multiple friends that I think about like you probably do every single day. So why are you stuck in my head this morning? Normally I’d be worrying about guitar hero… Huh!?

Since I was sticking my head up, I was able to look around my surroundings. And what quickly encapsulated my gaze was none other than Kita's bright, shining red hair. Right now, she is currently talking with a group of friends. They all seem so attentive to her, it's as if at that moment they care about nothing other than what she says.

If only I had that kind of power... although last night she did seem pretty interested in my space rant.

Should I say good morning to her? She said good morning to me at the start of the week and brightened my day, although right now, it appears that she doesn't need me to be happy. She's having the time of her life with her school friends. If I just barged in, I'd ruin the mood and whatever conversation they're having.

I was walking closer and closer to them. If I keep walking straight, I'll pass by them, and Kita won't notice since she's facing the opposite way.

I want to say hi... but I'm sure that you don't value me any more than you do them. You probably hang out with them outside of school every week and it's normal for you, unlike a special occasion like last night was for someone as closeted as me.

So what standing do I have to interrupt you? None.

I was now one or two meters away. I gulped. Nothing will change if I pass by, nothing bad can go wrong, and I won't embarrass myself.

...but that also eliminates the chance of any growth happening either.

If I'm not worth any more than those school friends to you, then I simply have to make myself worth more than them...!

As I walked past Kita, I tapped her shoulder. Without looking back, I awkwardly waved behind me in case she did look.

I did it! I said hi! ^-^

This small little interaction brightened my mood.  If I can keep taking small steps like this, maybe eventually I'll become as normal as everyone else.

A few seconds passed by, and I heard a call from behind me, "Hitori-chan!"

Kita playfully bumped into me and smiled when I looked at her face.

UWAH? You don't care that we're in front of the school and everyone else can see this? You, with the loner stage diver Hitori???

She pouted. "I said good morning, but you walked by!"

I shriveled up as we walked, losing my confident stature. "S-Sorry. I didn't want to bother you with your friends... but I also didn't want to miss out on saying hi."

Kita turned her head backward to look behind us and then turned forward again. "They're just school friends, Hitori-chan. You should know that I'd cancel any plans with them to be with you!"

So I was wrong when I thought I was on equal standing with them... because Kita-chan views me in higher regard than them?

I closed my groggy eyes in shame. If only I had more friends... then I'd know what the different levels of friendship would be like.

As I focused my attention back on the real world, I realized that Kita was still talking to me. "...they always talk about drama and stuff like that! I enjoy being with them, but it gets old eventually."

I tightened my grip on my bag as I prepared to ask the extrovert about her social routines. "You don't care about drama, Kita-chan?"

She fiercely shook her head no. "Not at all! It's disrespectful and it's always pointless, you never know what the true story is when you're hearing it from outsiders."

It was a relief to hear that. I've never once doubted that Kita was a bad person, but to directly hear from someone's mouth that they don't silently judge others gave me some hope for myself and how others perceive me.

Still, I should ask just how big of a population of pure-hearted people are out there. "Are there a lot of people here who only care about drama?"

She brought her finger up to her mouth. "There are a few, yeah. But there are lots of people who are just nice! Do you know my two friends that I always walk around with when I'm not with you?"

I always look down whenever they approach me and Kita, but I nod my head to continue the conversation. "I-I think so."

"They both have short hair, one of them has black hair, and and the other's is dark green! I want you to meet them eventually, and they also do too!"

My eyes and mouth both turned into swirls. "Wh-Why!?" Don't tell me that they always see me with Kita! Maybe they are the type to silently judge people if they even remember me!

Kita looked off to the side. "Ehm. I might've mentioned you to them a few times."

I want to pop like a balloon.

Kita started to wave her hands. "I-It wasn't on purpose, though! I mean, they naturally came up in our conversation too, right?"

They know that I exist and recognize me around the school, but I don't know who either of them are...

Still, to put Kita’s mind at ease, I quietly sighed, “It’s alright, I guess.”

An exclamation mark appeared over her head. “So I can tell them about our mall trip last night?!”

My eyes turned completely white. “What?! No!”

We each went to our respective classes and planned to meet up during lunch.

School’s over. I’m at Starry. And I walked all by myself over here.

At lunch, Kita had told me that she had plans to walk with her friends after school, and would come to Starry later. Although it is just a normal routine at this point, I felt empty on my walk over here. I guess too much exposure to Kita recently has made me get used to her.

No one else at Starry seemed to mind her absence, as they knew that she was going to come eventually. This didn’t change the fact that I noticed how subtly different the atmosphere was without Kita.

Nijika tried to add some energy to the room. She, Ryo, and I were all sitting at our large circular conference table. Nijika stood up at pointed at a moveable whiteboard. “Today is a very important day, Bocchi-chan! Do you know why?”

Huh? Is there something that’s coming up?

“No…”

I hadn’t noticed it, but there was a rolled-up poster lying against the whiteboard. Nijika picked it up but didn’t unravel it. “We’re going to discuss our merch to sell!”

HUH?!? Merch? Like, merch of us? People will have me on their walls?!

I tried to come up with an excuse to lead Nijika away from this horrible idea. “Uh-Uhm… are we even popular enough for this type of merch yet?”

Nijika put her hand on her hip. “Don’t tell anyone I told you… but sis says she’s arranging a big performance for us. So we’re going to have a small merch venue there for old fans and all of the new fans we’re going to get!”

Old fans…? Maybe just Kessoku Band Fan #1 and #2 will show up…

She started swinging the poster around. “I know that you might not approve of all the merchandise we’re planning, so we’re going to reveal and vote on each one when Kita-chan arrives!”

Kita will probably approve of everything that she is shown! Maybe Ryo will help me vote against anything with our faces on it?

I turned over to see what Ryo was doing. She’s on her phone? She doesn’t care at all!

I think my feet started to melt into goop. “Wh-When is the performance?”

Nijika looked towards the ceiling. “It‘ll be a while, so don’t stress about it. I wouldn’t announce it last minute like you and Kita-chan did for your mall trip!”

…

I don’t know if I’m just overthinking things as usual, but something about that last sentence sounded more than just a light dig. She never once asked me about how the trip went, either.

I buried my head in my arms that were resting on the table. Butterflies started to swell in my stomach. Everything just feels so tense without Kita around.

We never practice when Kita isn’t here, so normally there is a bit of downtime. Despite this common occurrence, I’m growing more and more restless.

Maybe I’m just selfish, but I want to hear someone say Hitori-chan! That lifts the mood for me, at least.

…Huh? o///o

Kita’s been calling me Hitori-chan for a while now. Maybe she’s been expecting me to call her by her first name as well.

Ikuyo?

No! That would be way too weird! I started to shake my head while it was still buried in my arms.

Besides, she doesn’t even like that name at all. She said that she would rather have her name be Kita Kita instead of Ikuyo Kita.

…Wait. Does that mean that I’ve been calling her by her first name this whole time since she’d rather be Kita Kita? So she started calling me Hitori because I call her Kita? o_o

No, no! That’s way too silly…!

How would she react if I did call her Ikuyo, though?

I guess I’ll never find out.

Suddenly, the door to Starry swung open!

I immediately perked my head up. Is Kita here?!?

Looking around, I saw her running over to our table in a panic! “Sorry I’m late, Ijichi-senpai!”

Nijika crossed her arms. “No, no, it’s fine. Take a seat, we have important matters to discuss.”

Kita walked over to the seat to my right and began dragging it out from under the table.

As she sat down next to me, I timidly spoke to her. “Hello, Kita-chan.”

Her mouth opened in shock. “Hit-Hitori-chan?! You’re saying hi to me first!?”

Isn’t that what I did in the morning? Why are you so shocked?

Nijika forced the rolled-up paper on the table and turned towards Ryo. “Alright, off of your phone! Let’s discuss our merch~!”

Kita's gaze was diverted off of me and instead went to Nijika, who was unraveling the poster.

Nijika spread it over the top of the table. "We all have individual posters, but this one right here is a group pic!"

Surprisingly... it wasn't bad or too embarrassing.

It featured all four of us, playing our respective instruments with a headlight above us shining the color of our hairs. It helped to have each one of us pop out. Our pictures were constructed in the order we performed, so Kita was in the center of the poster, with Ryo and I to each of her sides and Nijika sitting behind, but visually raised in the poster so that she wasn't overshadowed.

We all unanimously agreed that we could sell it.

Nijika smiled in triumph and began to unravel the next poster. "We each have one like this, so here's mine for an example!"

Her next poster was a solo picture of her playing drums, with a yellow headlight overlayed over her to cover her in a yellow visual.

Th-This isn't good! That means that I also have a solo poster, and I don't want people to own that!

Since she was sitting right next to me, I glanced over at Kita to gauge what kind of reaction she had for this.

Her eyes shifted over to Ryo, and then towards me, but quickly looked away when she noticed that I was looking at her.

Kita pressed her fingers together, "Uhm, do we perhaps have everyone else's posters printed out already?"

This isn't good! She's getting excited about the idea of buying them for herself!

Nijika proudly unfolded Kita's, Ryo's, and my posters all over the table.

She likes them, and so does Kita! Ryo... I need you to vote 'no' for these so that 2 out of 4 can disagree!

I worryingly looked at Ryo. She chewed on some grass that was in her mouth before saying her vote. "Whatever makes us money, I guess."

Nijika jumped in excitement. "Yay! I want to sell these, too! Kita-chan and Bocchi-chan, what do you guys want to do?"

This is bad. I'm going to be the outlier once again. All because I have low self-esteem, I'll be the only one in the band who doesn't want to sell merchandise, and my confidence issues will end up affecting everyone else who is excited to sell it.

Without skipping a beat, Kita replied, "I'll only say yes if Hitori-chan wants to!"

H-Huh?!?

Nijika lowered an eyebrow. "...That's a weird response. But whatever you say, or in this case, whatever Bocchi-chan says."

I still need to process what Kita just did for me! It was considerate, but now I truly am the deciding factor of whether or not we sell this stuff! >_<

I could feel the attention of everyone in the room become directed towards me. Ryo looking at me unimpressed, Nijika who's hoping I say yes, and Kita eagerly anticipating what I say.

...I'm not going to let them down. I can't. 

I decided to nod my head and murmured, "okay... we can sell them."

The room didn't explode with happiness. Kita didn't jump out of her seat and cheer me on. Nijika just rolled up the posters and brought out the next item we could sell.

It's like they wouldn't have cared whether or not I wanted to sell the posters. I was just making a big deal out of it to myself and ended up only going against my wishes.

Why did I say yes?

Why did I fold under pressure?

Kita tapped my right shoulder to get me out of my head. She looked at me with worried eyes as she spoke, "Hitori-chan? What do you think?"

I turned to the table and saw that Nijika had displayed some Kessoku Band sweatbands. They were like our cable ties, except expanded so that they could fit around someone's head.

There was nothing personal about this product, unlike our posters which had our faces on them. "Sure."

We continued to review products like guitar picks, improved cable ties, and more. We all agreed on most of them, even if some were for the future and not for our upcoming performance venue.

Nijika picked all of the display products up and left to go tell her sister which ones we decided on. Kita, Ryo, and I were the remaining ones in the room.

Ryo started to speak, "Bocchi, Ikuyo, how was your day at the mall?"

Kita got excited and put her hands on the table as she spoke, "We had so much fun, you should have come, Ryo-senpai!"

It was hard to tell if she was passionate about the trip itself or the fact that she was talking to Ryo.

The blue-haired girl ignored her request and asked another question, "Did you get a lot of stuff?"

Kita furiously nodded her head, "Yeah, we both did! I'm going to wear a new outfit next time all of us go out!"

My stomach started to swell up. Oh no... they're having a conversation without me. Even though they're also talking about me, I still feel as if I'm not allowed in.

Ryo peered around Kita and towards me. "Bocchi, you should wear some of your new clothes, too."

Is she trying to include me in the conversation?

I spat out my next response, feeling low because she had to ask me a question for me to join in. "Y-Yeah! I will."

Ryo slightly grinned, but then my vision of her was obscured by Kita's body as she moved expressively and continued to talk. "Do you think that Ijichi-senpai will let me have some of the posters?!"

Ryo lowered an eyebrow. "How would I know that?"

The door opened, and Nijika walked in, unnoticed by Kita who kept on speaking to Ryo.

Nijika walked over to me and stood to my left, "Bocchi-chan, you and Kita-chan have grown closer ever since the school festival, huh?"

As I continued my longing gaze towards Ryo and Kita, I answered without looking at Nijika, "Oh y-yeah. We have."

Nijika stood at my side for a few moments, and then I felt her leave.

...

I wonder if she wanted to talk to me?

...But I want to talk to Kita right now! If I could interrupt her conversation at school, then maybe I could sneak into the current one with Ryo!

Currently, Kita has changed the topic to where she’s going to put up the spare posters if Nijika had let her keep them.

Ryo burped. “I’d display them in my bathroom, it’s pretty empty in there.”

Kita’s soul jumped out of her body for a quick moment. “Not your bedroom? Is our band not even that important to you!?”

Ryo shivered. “I couldn’t stand to look at all of us when I sleep. What if I wake up and see the group poster?”

Kita wiggled around in her chair. “Shouldn’t you have good dreams from seeing us?”

“No.”

She’s way too honest!

But, this is the perfect chance to join in!

I scooted my chair over a bit next to Kita, making some noise. “K-Kita-chan, I don’t even think you have an open wall in your bedroom to put our posters up.”

That video call ended up being useful for something after all! ^-^

Kita turned toward me. “You remember all of the posters I had up?”

I nodded. She’s not upset that I chimed in. So it’s not even that hard to talk in groups, huh?

She lit up and leaned in towards me, “I would take all of them down and replace them with each of our posters!”

My cheeks felt a little fuzzy. I’d be scared to be on a stranger’s wall, but I guess I wouldn’t care if Kita had me displayed on her walls.

Suddenly, Nijika cleared her throat. We all turned towards her to see what she needed. She had her arms crossed and drum sticks clenched in each of her hands. 

I could tell that her pupils were quickly shifting between me and Kita. After a few moments, she spoke. “We have practice to do.”

After our band practice and our shifts at Starry, all of us were tired. I began to make my way up the stairs to leave, as I had no time to rest since I had to make it to the bus stop before it closed too late at night.

As I reached the door, I quickly heard Kita running up behind me. “Hitori-chan! Wait for me!”

We made our way down the street, having our only source of light be neon signs. There was not much talking between us, so I wasn’t very sure why Kita even wanted to tag along.

We calmly walked beside each other, with the large guitar bags we wore on our backs sometimes bumping into each other. 

At an unexpected time, Kita suddenly tugged on my sleeve. We didn’t stop walking, though.

”A-Are you okay, Kita-chan?”

I looked to my side, and I noticed that her bangs were covering her eyes. “Hitori-chan, how come you agreed to sell the posters?”

Huh?? She knew that I wouldn’t want to sell them?

Would she take pity on me if I answered I said yes because of peer pressure? Is that why she even asked me, because she feels bad for me?

Well, if there’s anyone who wouldn’t judge me, it’d be her. I’m fine with opening up to Kita.

Despite convincing myself that it would be okay, my voice still shook as I vented out my thoughts. “I-I just didn’t want to let everyone else down. You all appeared like you wanted to sell them, after all.”

Kita stopped walking. I turned around, and I could see her face again. Her mouth was hanging slightly open, and her eyes were directed toward the ground. “Y-You’re scared of letting people down?”

What's happening to her? I thought that she was trying to reach out to me about my problem? What was so special about my answer..?

I walked a bit closer to her, and now I was right in front of her. “Yeah. All the time.”

Her eyes feebly raised and met mine, and we stared at each other for a second or two.

She then tilted her head and smiled.

Huh? Now you're okay?

After a bit more walking, we separated from each other as she went down the street to her house.

Maybe I should have asked her what was wrong. For some reason, she seemed comforted at the end, though.

Unless she just decided to put a mask on when she realized that she was getting emotional in front of me?

Just what is going on inside of your mind?

Kita-chan… I wonder... Do you have anyone to vent to?

Chapter Text

This is bad.

This is bad, this is bad, this is bad!

I stepped back in shock. I was going to walk to school in a good mood before my mother revealed this terrible revelation.

“M-Mom, what do you mean, a birthday dinner?”

She put her hand on her cheek and laughed, “You already came up with an excuse to miss your aunt's birthday last year, we're not going to let that happen again!”

My ahoge started to bounce up and down. B-Bad timing...! I don't think Nijika will be too happy with me if I don't go to practice again this soon...

I faked a cough. “Uhm, I have to go to Starry after school! Are you sure that you want me to miss that?”

She put her hands on her hips. “Hitori! She said that she wanted to see you!”

I sulked back. “Okay.”

On the walk to school, I was deep in introspection.

There’s nothing inherently wrong with seeing my extended family. They’re another group of people that don’t judge me for being awkward, and don’t mind asking me about how things are going.

But that’s the issue! >_< After the initial small talk, they just leave me alone! They even spend more time with Futari because she’s innocent and cute!

It's not fair that she can capture everyone's attention so easily because she's a little kid!

Hmph, someone who catches the attention of everyone? That kind of reminds me of a certain red-haired someone... -.-

My cheeks started to grow warm and rosy. I mean, she's cute. She is objectively cute of course, like Futari. The way that she takes care of her hair. Her airheaded mannerisms. Her smile pierces straight into your heart. All of that contributes to her Kitaura.

I'm just not in their league when it comes to standing out. At least when I'm a famous guitar player one day, I'll have no problem being on their level!

Kita's vulnerable pose last night flashed in my mind.

...But I'm starting to believe that there are some downsides to being the one everyone gazes toward.

The reverberating sound of a plucked guitar string could be heard from Kita and I’s spot in the school. The sun was peeking through the window a little more than usual, causing the atmosphere to feel warm. As usual, we were sitting in chairs across from each other.

She excitedly leaned in front of me. “Is that it, Hitori-chan!?”

I shook my head. “Just a little bit more.”

Her eyes squinted. “Jeez, I never know when it’s enough!”

Currently, we are tuning our guitars to get ready for our lunch practice. She’s gotten too accustomed to using an app for tuning, so I’ve been trying to teach her how to be independent and do it herself. The small difference in noise can be difficult to tell apart.

Now, I leaned over and reached for her guitar peg to correct the rotation of it. “You’re almost there.”

As I narrowed my fingers and got ready to grip and turn the peg, she let go of it to open the space for me. Our hands grazed each other as I pushed mine forward and she brought hers back.

The brief physical contact made us both jolt a little. Kita spoke, despite that. “I’m telling you Hitori-chan, I’m never going to have an ear for music like you do…”

She’s being down on herself again. She did this when we were in the school nursery after the stage dive, and in our video call.

I was going to complain to her about how lonely I am going to be at the family dinner… but I can see that she is working through her issues right now. Last night was enough confirmation for that.

Retracting my hand without moving the peg, I sat straight and looked at her in the eyes. “Kita-chan, you have a lot more talent than you realize.”

Her eyes narrowed a bit and she looked off to the side. “You don’t have to be nice to me. I haven’t been playing for nearly as long as everyone else in the band. I know that I'm not on par with you guys.”

That doesn't invalidate her, though.

I barely know anything about people. My connections all came from sheer luck, and this is the department of life where Kita is way more talented than me.

Despite that, I want to do nothing else except comfort her.

I pressed my hands down on my legs as I sat, and leaned in towards her. "Ki-Kita-chan, you're great at music. You play guitar and sing at the same time. That's a lot more than I have to juggle through when I'm on stage."

Kita continued to look away, but her body started to shake a little.

From how she looks right now, you could never recognize her as the bubbly, outgoing girl that she is. She looks more akin to a nervous wreck. 

"I don't know what pedestal you put me on when you compare our musical talents... but you need to start giving yourself the love that you deserve."

She looked in my direction and made eye contact. Her pupils widened with realization. "The love... that I deserve?"

That last part of my sentence was rooted far beyond music. How long did it take her to start calling me by my first name? She's so considerate and worries about how others feel, but based on what she's talked about her friends and how Ryo treats her, I doubt she gets a fraction of her thoughtfulness redirected back towards her.

More and more milliseconds that felt more like centuries passed by, without a response from Kita.

My stomach began to swell up. Again, I am bad at reading people. Maybe I shouldn't make any assumptions about her.

I've gotten too comfortable around her. Now I've done too much, acted all highly...

Suddenly, Kita leaned in and grasped my right hand with both of hers!

"Hitori-chan! Thank you!"

Her mouth began to quiver as her face was in front of mine. It was difficult to determine whether she wanted to say more or not.

Could she perhaps be too nervous to go in-depth about her worries?

I scratched the back of my head with my left hand. "Kita-chan, I-I'm here for whatever you need."

Kita let go of me and focused her attention on the guitar sitting in her lap. She gently wrapped her arms around its shape and got back into a playing stance. She tilted her head before speaking again, "I feel good enough to focus on practicing now!"

She still hasn't talked about her issues, but I feel like this is a step forward. She can take as much time as she needs. -.-

Kita strummed her guitar, and the sound of it reminded us that it was still out of tune.

She quickly shook her head in frustration, "But seriously, I might never understand how to tune this thing!"

In an act of her irritation, she turned the peg and strummed her guitar once more.

It may not have been intentional, but the sound that was created in that moment was more in tune than if she had relied on an app to guide her.

I smiled, "That was perfect."

I don't get it.

As I watched her eye-catching red hair sway in movement as she talked to the band, all I could do was sulk at Starry's big table.

Kita goes through issues, too. She's hiding her problems deep down and won't even tell me, and I'm supposedly closer to her than her school friends.

So how come she's still so amazing on the outside?

One look at me can give away all you need to know: I have no confidence, I stutter and I sulk.

Sure, Kita helped me fix my posture, which has already boosted my outward appearance.

But she's popular. And I'm the opposite. I can do everything she does, and still won't be as popular. She thinks she can't play guitar as well as me, but she is popular even without that, while my musical talent is all I have going for me.

Nijika disengaged from the group conversation and walked over to me. As she walked beside the table, she slid the tip of her fingertips on it.

When she approached me, she pulled out a chair and positioned it next to me before plopping down on it.

She looked towards me with a concerned face. "Are you okay, Bocchi-chan? You were eager to join their conversation yesterday."

Nijika's talking to me. I kind of avoided her yesterday, it would be rude of me to shut her down again. 

"H-Hi, Nijika-chan. I'm fine."

She lowered an eyebrow, "No you're not. You can tell me what's bothering you, I just want to make sure that you're okay."

I turned my head away, I couldn't face her.

She's not just asking me because she's the leader of the band, she's asking me because she's concerned, isn't she?

Nijika was my first friend. She was the one who invited me to Starry and told me about her dream of Kessoku Band. She knew me so well that she could recognize my guitar playing as the same as guitarhero's.

...So when did we just... stop? It feels like Kita randomly popped into my life and took all of my attention away from her.

I wonder if Nijika feels the same. 

I don't know how to close this distance, but I'm sure that confiding in her will reassure her about our friendship. If I never met Nijika, I would have never met Kita, after all.

My cheeks flushed red and I lowered my head into my arms. "I-It's about Kita-chan..."

Nijika's eye began to squint. "I knew it."

I'm sure that she doesn't want to hear me talk about Kita. After all, that girl is the reason that Nijika and I stopped spending time together. But still... I want to be selfish this one time.

The heat kept radiating on my face as I spoke. "I-I really enjoy being around her. She makes me act in ways I never would have otherwise. But that's the issue."

Nijika spoke now, in a quieter tone, "How is that a bad thing? You seem much livelier around her. She helps you break out of your shell."

I still couldn't look at her in the face as I spoke. "She just gives me a false expectation for the world. She's so nice to me and praises my musical skills, but I know to everyone else, I'm just going to always sit in the background for eternity."

The yellow-haired girl began to rub my back gently. "Isn't that why you want the band to be a constellation? Together, we can all shine and have our strengths overcome our weaknesses."

NIjika understood the song...?

I swiveled my head toward her, and couldn't help but release a quick smile before a realization hit me.

"It-It doesn't matter. She thinks that I'm the brighter star in the constellation. Maybe that's true in a band where all that matters is our performance, but in the real world, that will never happen when I lack everything else that makes a human function..!"

Nijika stopped rubbing my back, "Have you two ever talked through this? Because to me, it sounds like you're the one who is setting up false expectations. You're acting like she's some godly being when she's just a human like you and me."

I glanced to the side. "I've tried to talk to her seriously before, but she never gives me the full story. It's kind of frustrating."

Nijika sat up. "Well, I'm glad that you told me how you were feeling, at least. If she ever feels comfortable enough to let out her insecurities, I'm sure you would be the one she tells first!"

My hands pressed against the table. "Wh-What do you mean by that?"

Nijika got out of her chair and turned away from me. "Kita-chan is a very polite girl. I bet that she feels like she'll overburden you with her troubles... so make sure that you listen to her when she eventually does. Don't make her feel like a strain."

She began to walk away towards Ryo and Kita. Before she got too far, she turned her head back towards me. "When you're ready, come join us! We're going to FOLT today, remember?"

I nodded my head. It felt good to talk to Nijika about my issues. I just have to be patient, and let Kita vent to me naturally.

I stood up, feeling refreshed.

I had completely forgotten that we were going to go to FOLT today. After all, it's the live house where SICK HACK performs. We were thinking of asking Kikuri and her band about how they handle and how they price merchandise.

We could have decided on the prices right here at Starry, but we need words from trusted adults to make Ryo zip her mouth about outrageous amounts of yen. >_>

Trusted adults... Kikuri? Those don't line up in the slightest!

As I approached my fellow bandmates to let them know I was ready to go, Kita brightened up at the sight of me and ran over to my side.

She put her hands on both of my shoulders and cleared her throat. "Ryo-senpai, Ijichi-senpai! Hitori-chan and I are going to go to karaoke on the weekend, and we're wondering if you two want to come with us!"

Nijika clapped her hands. "I think it would be nice if we all went out as a band again! I'd love to come!"

Kita took her hand off my right shoulder and touched her mouth with one of her fingers. "It'll be a lot of fun! We planned to discover Hitori-chan's secret singing voice! Ryo-senpai, you have to come as well!"

Great... now Ryo is going to say yes as well, I bet my nervous voice would be great entertainment for her as I attempt and fail to sing...

Ryo shook her head. "I don't want to. After all, I'm sure that Bocchi isn't comfortable sharing her voice with the whole band."

My eyes sparkled. Ryo! You're the best!

Kita whined. "How would you even know that!? I'm still jealous of the bond between you two!"

Nijika closed her eyes and her dorito flopped. "I can't tell which one you're jealous of anymore."

...

The scene didn't change. We didn't immediately start walking to FOLT. Kita dropped her hand that was on my other shoulder and looked towards the ground.

"Ryo-senpai... you don't want to come to karaoke..?"

Ryo didn't flinch and answered right away. "I have some movies to catch up to."

This isn't good... the room is starting to feel tense.

Nijika, picking up the same vibes, quickly stepped forward to Kita and me. "Uhm, maybe she'll change her mind! Let's just go over to FOLT!"

I chimed in, “Y-Yes!”

Kita, still next to me, lifted her head and looked at me, revealing tired eyes. “Do all of us need to even go?”

I could barely hear Nijika’s response, “No.”

Ryo, Nijika and I made our way over to FOLT. To be honest, I don’t even know my reason for coming along, aside from giving Nijika the impression that our band’s first conflict isn’t as bad as it seems.

Our walk over was pretty quiet. For once, silence makes me feel weird, when normally I’d appreciate not being forced into a conversation.

I was walking next to Nijika, with Ryo trailing behind us.

When I first joined the band, I believed that Ryo would be the one would I grow closest to. On the outside, she’s just as quiet as me.

My cheeks warmed up. But just like with Nijika, Kita swooped in and took all of my attention.

W-Wait! This has nothing to do with Kita!

I slapped my hands on my face to focus. What I mean to say, is that I don’t know how to start a conversation with Ryo anymore… but I might as well try.

I slowed down my steps until Nijika passed me, and I was next to Ryo.

Ryo didn’t even react as I started walking next to her. She just kept looking forward as she moved.

I twiddled my fingers together and spoke up, “Uhm, Ryo-san, d-do you think that Kita-chan will feel better?”

She kept walking with an emotionless face, “Yes.”

That just threw a wrench in my pre-planned conversation! I expected her to say she didn’t know, and then we’d discuss how to make her feel better or why she got upset!

After a few seconds of me trying to stammer out a response, Ryo continued instead. “Ikuyo has a false impression of me. She’s had one ever since she’s seen me. Sooner than later, she needs to realize that, or this band will always be dysfunctional.”

I always forget that Ryo is a lot more intelligent about topics she doesn’t have to study for. She genuinely cares about the band, too.

Even then… is this how you handle a situation like this? I responded, “Don’t you think it’s a little cold to shut her down like that?”

Ryo slightly turned her head toward me, and then kept looking forward, “She grew fond of me because of how I naturally act. I’m not going to say yes to go hang out just to make her happy, I say yes if I want to do it, too. If Ikuyo realizes that, then maybe she will change how she looks at me.”

So Ryo doesn’t let other people’s views of her change the way she is.

Butterflies grew in my stomach. On the contrary, I’d do anything to be popular. And Kita has pushed me to do things that would normally give me a heart attack. Compared to Ryo, I’m just a dog who will go on her belly for any affection! >_<

…I am such a shallow person, huh?

Ryo placed her hand on my shoulder. “But that’s because I’m already perfect. If you feel like hanging out with Ikuyo improves you as a person, then you should keep letting her change your life.”

Ry-Ryo!! You… you couldn’t give me advice without praising yourself…

The butterflies in my stomach swelled even more. Ryo was spot on. Kita does make me improve, and I want to keep improving even more.

I remembered Kita raising my spirits and dragging me across the mall.

I just want… to be with her again. I don’t want a distance between any of our bandmates.

Nijika stopped walking in front of us and quickly turned around. She lifted her fist in the air. “We’re here!”

I stopped before we entered HOLT. “Don’t you think it will be rude to show up uninvited?”

Nijika’s eyes lost their glow and became stern. “She pops into Starry all the time. This is payback.”

“Oh- ok!”

Ryo put her hand on my shoulder once more, “You deal with Drunk-san, okay?”

My bandmates might think that Kikuri is annoying sometimes, but underneath that alcohol, she relates to me a lot. I don’t mind talking to her at all.

The way we split up was just as expected. Nijika and Ryo went to talk to the rest of SICK HACK, while Kikuri and I entered a room together. It was the same one where she punched a hole in the wall after we watched her performance.

We were sitting next to each other on one of the sofas.

”Bocchi~chan! How ya been?”

She’s drunk, as usual.

I haven’t talked to her at all since the school festival. I’ve changed so much, huh?

I smiled towards her, “The band isn’t doing the best, but I think that I’ve grown a lot!”

Almost as if a moment of clarity hit her, Kikuri’s tone changed, and she stood straight. “What do you mean?”

It’s a little embarrassing to say that Kita’s brought all of these changes to me.

I rustled my arms. “W-Well, the more I hang out with my bandmates, the more I feel comfortable enough to change myself.”

Kikuri titled her head, “I’m listening.”

I stammered out my next response, “I- I just think that there are more ways to overcome anxiety than alcohol! Kikuri-san, you should consider dropping it! …It’s not good for you…”

She slapped my back and laughed. “Good one, Bocchi-chan!”

And here I was trying to be nice…

Kikuri started to lean back into the sofa, relaxing. “I know what you mean, before I started drinking to remove tension while performing…”

I… wasn’t talking about performances. I was talking about improving ourselves socially. I’ll still humor her and listen, though.

She continued her speech, “…I used to imagine the venue to be empty. Any seats or crowd in front of our stage was vacant in my mind, and I only focused on what was truly important to me as I performed: Myself and my band.”

…That seems like a pretty good way to get rid of my anxiety! Removing the crowd? Maybe Kikuri isn’t a hopeless drunkard after all-

“But that was before I discovered the easier and more effective alternative, alcohol!”

Oh…

I heard a muffled yell from outside the room, “Bocchi-chan!”

Nijika is calling for me. It’s time to go.

As I sat up and looked down towards Kikuri, I spoke one last time, “You really should consider dropping alcohol, though…”

When I left the room, Nijika and Ryo were waiting for me.

We began to walk outside together, and Nijika asked me a question, “So, what did Kikuri tell you about how much money we should be charging?”

N-Not good! We didn’t talk about merchandise at all!

Ryo crossed her arms and formed a sly smile facing Nijika. “It doesn’t matter, Eliza and Shima both told us higher prices than the ones you suggested.”

Nijika playfully stomped on the ground, “Not fair! They might just be as greedy as you!”

We left HOLT and stopped on the sidewalk. This is where we split up since I live in the opposite direction from them.

Ryo started walking away, but Nijika ran up to me and looked up at my face with worried eyes. “Bocchi-chan, is it true that you are too shy to share your voice with the band?”

She’s talking about karaoke?

I nodded. “Y-Yes.”

She smiled at me, “Then go alone with Kita-chan, and make sure she knows you’re there for her.”

I don’t want her to think I value Kita more than her…

I met her eyes and smiled a little, too. “I’ll ensure you’re the first one I tell the story to.”

Nijika responded with a bright grin and quickly turned around, waving back to me as she caught up with Ryo. “Bye, Bocchi-chan!”

I watched as she and Ryo started to playfully fight each other as they walked.

If Kita continues to be sad about Ryo, we won't have any more fun walks over to Starry.

I paced around my room.

I want to call Kita.

Ever since she left Starry, I've been thinking about her and how bad she must feel for getting her offer rejected by Ryo.

...But she isn't comfortable telling me anything.

I continued to pace around in circles.

I still want to talk about the family dinner that I have to attend. And even if we don't talk about anything else, I can get a decent gauge of her emotions right now!

Perfect plan, Hitori!

B-But I've never called her first before, what if she's busy right now? This is why I prefer it if she just calls me instead...

No, that's silly, Hitori! It's almost midnight! She might not even be awake! >_<

The more I waste my time walking around, the later it will get!

Shaking, I pulled out my phone and brought up Kita's contact on my screen.

I had changed her picture to the selfie we had taken at the mall. She looks so joyful here, so full of happiness. If she enjoys being around me so much, why did she get so sad when Ryo didn't want to come to karaoke? Am I not enough?

That's too much self-doubt, I'm sure that whatever she's feeling right now is much worse than my mind talking to me...

My finger hovered over the call button. It won't even be a video call, just our voices.

Yeah, that doesn't sound so bad.

I forced my finger on the button, and my phone began to dial Kita's number.

I'm going to be so embarrassed if she doesn't pick up, maybe I should just cancel it right now!

Before I could think any further, she answered the phone. She didn't talk at all, though.

Oh yeah, I called her. I should talk first.

"K-Kita-chan, how are you?"

After a few moments of silence, she responded. "I'm okay, Hitori-chan. How are you?"

Her tone was low and quiet. I guess it makes sense, considering the time. She must be tired.

I don't think you're okay at all, but for now, I'll whine about myself to make you feel better.

I sat down on the floor next to my futon and brought my phone to my mouth. "N-Not good! My family says that I have to go to a birthday dinner, and I'm scared!"

Kita raised her voice as she spoke, getting some energy. "Really? Who's birthday is it? And why are you scared?"

Hmph... of course Kita enjoys birthdays.

"It's my a-aunts birthday. I'm scared because I'm just going to be ignored there like everywhere else I go! Even my sister catches the attention of others so easily, and she's only five! She'll be the life of the party!"

I'm not lying. If I'm not with Kita, I just naturally hide in the background, away from everyone else. I'm just so much more confident with her around.

This isn't good... I can see myself building an inferiority complex with Kita.

Kita let out a light giggle, and then her nose sniffled before talking, "And why do you think everyone pays so much attention to her?"

I fell back onto my futon and bounced a little. "I don't know, she's cute?"

Sniffling once more, Kita spoke, "Well, if you think you're not cute enough, then steal her!"

"Wh-What do you mean by stealing her? We already live together..."

I could hear the rustling of blankets over the phone. Kita is most likely lying down right now, in the comfort of her sheets. "At the dinner, stick around Futari. Keep her with you. So whenever people want to talk and play with her, they also have to interact with you!"

Kita... you're a genius!

I sat back up. "Kita-chan, I'm going to do that! You're so smart!"

When she spoke once more, I could hear her smile, "I'm glad that I could help."

After speaking, she sniffled another time. She wasn't sick today. Is it possible... that she was crying before I called her?

Kita slyly spoke again, "Hitori-chan, you've mentioned before that I shine the most on stage. Are there any reasons you think I do, like how Futari shines because she's cute?"

H-Huh???

My heart started to thump rapidly. I can't call Kita cute to her face, and I can't explain why I think she's cute. O-Objectively cute.

A few seconds passed by, and I couldn't even begin the thought of mustering up a response.

Kita giggled. "That's okay."

With my heart still pounding in my chest, I could barely speak. "W-Well th-thank you for picking up the phone. I-I hope that you feel better, Kita-chan."

To my surprise, Kita quickly answered in retaliation, "W-Wait! Don't hang up yet!"

I withdrew my finger away from my phone. "What is it, Kita-chan?"

At this point, I was starting to get ready to sleep. As Kita got ready to respond, I turned all of my lights off and got snuggled in my futon.

Her voice was shaky as she spoke, "Hit-Hitori-chan, can you stay here until I fall asleep?"

What?

She began to sniffle again. "I-I'm really not okay! It's all because of my mouth! I never know when to shut it..."

This is what I've asked for... I can't screw this moment up. I have to be here for Kita.

"Kita-chan, what do you mean by that?"

Her voice was now quivering a lot. "I-It's like when I asked you to speak on stage! Today, I said too much and told Ryo we were going to karaoke to find out your singing voice! And she said that's why she doesn't want to go with us!"

I felt a lump in my throat. Ryo would have found a way to decline the offer even if Kita didn't say that. I feel bad for her...

Choked up, and too inexperienced to help her- I couldn't think of a response. Kita began to quietly make whimpering noises over the phone as she tried to hide her crying.

I wish I didn't live so far away from her. If I could, I would go to her house and hug her right now.

What do I do? What do I do? What do I do?

This isn't good... she's never going to open up to me again if I can't comfort her...

However, an idea quickly popped into my head as I left my futon and walked towards my closet.

As she continued to silently cry, I tried my best to comfort her while I got my guitar equipment. "Nijika-chan said that just the two of us can go to karaoke together. We're going to have lots of fun, Kita-chan. Just like how we did at the mall."

I set my amp to the lowest output possible and began to strum my guitar. 

In a slower tempo than our performance, I softly played the strings to If I Could Be a Constellation.

Over the phone, Kita's crying began to slow down.

For some reason or another, this is the one performance where I never had any doubts. Even when I record for guitarhero, I mess up quite a bit before I get the perfect video. And my anxieties are always on full display in front of crowds in our live performances. But somehow, right now, I am playing perfectly.

"Kita-chan, it'll all be okay..."

I finished the melody and quietly brought my phone to my ear. All I could hear was Kita's soft breathing and occasional sniffling. She fell asleep.

I got back to my futon and rested my head next to my phone. Should I hang up? She will think that I'm weird if I listen to her sleep.

...But at the same time, there's just something so precious about how breathes. Nijika was right; Kita isn't some god, she's just another human like me. Another human who has struggles and strengths, even if on the outside she appears perfect.

I don't think it's fair to compare myself to her at all. And that's why it's so painful that she does it with me, too. 

Her quiet exhalations kept coming out of my phone. 

I snuggled in my bed, and my eyelids began to close. Our awkward video call gave me a bad impression of communicating like this. These calls can be intimate, after all...

-.-

This is going exactly as I expected.

Sitting around a large dining table, I kept bouncing Futari in my lap.

It doesn't matter that I'm her chair, everyone is still playing with Futari, and ignoring me!

Although it is nice to be with my family, once the initial celebration was over and they all started talking to each other, I was relegated to just being on my phone and acting like I'm busy on it.

Scrolling through old texts since nobody was currently talking to me, I looked at the message that Kita sent me this morning:

Thank you for last night! You also fell asleep on the call, but I hung up when I woke up! See you at school~! ❤

That's embarrassing, at least she didn't mind too much that I also fell asleep. -.-

She acted pretty normal once we met up at school, and at Starry, she only talked to me instead of Ryo or NIjika. 

"Hitori!"

Huh?

My parents looked at each other and giggled. "You really love your sister, huh?"

My dad turned towards my mom and exclaimed, "Maybe we don't need a babysitter, after all!"

Mom shushed him. "They don't know yet..."

My mouth turned into a scribble. "Wh-What are you guys planning?"

My parents turned toward me and smiled.

I don't have a good feeling about this at all...

Whatever it is, I'll worry about it later. I have more important things to worry about, anyway.

Tomorrow, Kita and I are going to karaoke together.

Chapter Text

"Kyaa~! Mom! It feels weird, let go!" ˶>_<˶

"Oh my, Hitori-chan! You know I can't!"

As embarrassed as I am to admit it, I am not used to the feeling of my hair in a curling wand. It makes sense, though, considering I never dress up for any occasion...

Struggling to make me stand still, Mom lowered her head to my ear and whispered, "If you keep squirming, I might have to call Futari-chan over to hold you in place!"

A-Anything but that!

With my hands shaking in anticipation, I looked into the bathroom mirror to see the progress. My hair is super straight, so we relied on the wand and texturing powder to get any waviness to develop.

It wasn't even my idea to try a half-up half-down hairstyle. When I told my parents that Kita and I were having a karaoke night, my mother suggested the hairstyle she donned for their wedding!

While making myself look this nice is a bit too excessive, I still want to wow Kita. I know she hasn't been feeling the best lately. And for one reason or another, she brightens up whenever I make myself look nice.

Moving my eyes downward, the reflection of my top was now in view in the mirror. It was the outfit that Kita picked out for me at the mall- the top was a white, ruffled blouse with pink bows scattered all over. The short sleeves revealed my pale skin, which could easily be tanned if I went out more.

Underneath that was my short pink skirt. It didn't even cover my knees. Revealing this much of myself makes me shake and tremble. This is why I wear my tracksuit pants underneath my school skirt... U_U

"Look, Hitori-chan."

I brought my gaze back to the center of the mirror. Mom had finished putting my hair through the wand. Instead of being straight as usual, it was now messy and wavy.

This is certainly different...

My mom now grabbed the upper layer of my hair which was positioned above my ears, and twisted it to create a ponytail that rested over the bottom half of my hair.

Then, she gently poked my yellow and blue hairpins into the ponytail to keep it in place. The half-updo was complete.

Mom smiled brightly and gave me a handheld mirror to give me the ability to see the back of my head.

I could feel some heat instantly rise to my face. This feels like I'm going on a date...

As I handed my mother the small mirror back, I gave her the thanks she deserved in the form of a hug, and rushed back to the comfort of my bedroom.

...

I'm still nervous.

I don't get it. It's just Kita. It's not like she'll make this out to be a special occasion. To her, this is just like our mall trip. Any outing without Ryo isn't special to her.

She shouldn't be coming here for another hour. I may have gotten too excited and asked my mom for help too early.

I don't want to sit down... what if I get myself dirty?

I should stand still for an hour, so I don't mess myself up. After all, my hair could get ruined by the motion of walking. It's wise to make as few movements as possible.

Yes!!! I'll stay still and be a rock! Bocchi the Rock!

And for the next 5 minutes, that's what I did.

My form was perfect. As I stood still in my room, my arms crossed, and my eyelids shut. I stood so still that I developed to the next step of human evolution: sleeping upwards.

Because of my newfound tranquility, I didn't hear the door to my room open, but that didn't stop the voice of a demon from reaching my ears shortly after.

"Mom! Sis is acting weird again!"

Jolting out of my position, I opened my eyes and saw Futari at the door!

I thrust my arms forward and began to wave my hands frantically. "Wh-What are you doing here?"

She ran up to me. "I wanted to see your hair! Keep standing like a failed statue so I can see!"

Uhm... okay. I was planning on that, anyway.

My eyes closed again, sacrificing my vision for an advantage in my other senses. This let me detect Futari walking closer and... start climbing my leg?

Feeling her wrap around my leg made me start dancing in panic as if I had a spider on me.

"Wh-Why did you do that?!"

Futari was back on the ground. She rubbed the corner of her eye. "I couldn't see your hair unless I was on your back, so I had to climb up."

She said that so bluntly as if it was normal to climb people.

I-Is that how Dad gives you your piggyback rides? He makes you climb him? I thought he was decent enough to pick you up!

Suddenly, Jimihen barked in another room. Futari left me to see what was happening.

Although she scared me, Futari was still a nice distraction from reality.

...I am still going to karaoke with Kita.

Thinking about it is making my stomach turn.

I walked over to the perfume bottle that the two of us picked out at the mall. Each time I sprayed a different part of myself, I remembered a different moment I'd shared with her.

When she dragged me around in my maid uniform at the school festival.

Her focused eyes and the undivided attention she gives me when we sit across from each other and practice.

The sound of her quivering breaths as she fell asleep after crying on the phone.

Do any of these moments ever replay in Kita's head?

Of course not.

There's a reason none of our previous outings felt romantic. Kita would never think of me like that. She only has her eyes on one girl. And I’m not her.

Still... as I stand still, dressed up in a way only to make Kita happy, I can't help but feel my heart beat quicker and quicker.

If Ryo was never in the equation... how much different would our bond be? Kita also likes girls, after all.

But because of Ryo, I've never given myself the pitiful hope that anything more could happen.

No matter how many times I make Kita blush or how often she strives for me to improve, it would all be a delusion to think she views me as anything more than a friend. Kita is just a very expressive girl, I'd never let myself fall for any false signal from her...

I'm a few minutes away! Get ready! ⭐

The text notification made my phone vibrate. Since I was waiting for any word from her, my heart skipped a beat.

It's happening. We're going to karaoke together. Only me and Kita, nobody else.

I looked in the mirror one last time. I'm not the usual Hitori-chan. I feel... cute. Maybe even on par with how Kita normally dresses herself.

Still, I hope this outfit isn't overboard. On all of Kita's pictures on Isosta, I've never seen her dress up as much as I am currently.

The sounds of gentle knocking came from the front door.

She's here, isn't she?

As I approached the door, doubts began to swirl in my head. I may be going too far. She might just be wearing an outfit she didn't think twice about.

My hand stopped just before it wrapped around the doorknob, in a position ready to grip it.

I took a deep breath. I'm just overthinking things, as usual.

I continued to push my arm forward and grasped the doorknob.

The door creaked as I opened it, but those sounds quickly disappeared from my awareness.

All of my senses disappeared.

In front of me was Kita- not the objectively cute Kita. But a beautiful and dressed-up Kita. There was no need to justify how special she looked, a glance was all that was necessary to see her charm.

I had to take a step back to scan everything about her.

She had ditched her usual side ponytail, instead, she let her striking red hair flow behind her head and over her shoulders. Her bangs were swept to the sides of her face.

Her pleated short dress was colored a pale shade of lilac, with the volume sleeves that covered her arms matching the same color.

The white laced socks covering her legs reached up to her knees, each sock having a black bow in its front.

Bringing my eyes back up to her face, it was clear as day that she was just as shocked as me.

Our mouths both hung wide open, our thoughts getting lost in the sight of each other.

Having more experience of being put into foreign situations, Kita was the first to compose herself. Avoiding eye contact with me, she brought her finger up to her mouth and spoke in a small voice, "You.. look amazing."

I don't want to echo back a shallow answer, but I also don't want to continue my silence. I gave her a nod, "Y-You look great too."

Her eyes began to squiggle, and she scratched her head. "Thanks."

I brought my arms down to my waist and clamped my hands together. Uhm, are we going to start walking over? Or will we continue to stare at each other from across the doorframe?

"Kita-chan! Welcome back!"

H-Huh?? Who said her name?

My dad walked behind me and put his hand on my shoulder. "Just like last time, I hope you take great care of our Hitori-chan."

She leaned in forward and hid both of her arms behind her back. "We're going to have a lot of fun! As the singer of Kessoku Band, I promise I will train Hitori-chan to become the best singer she can be!"

He laughed and gave me a light pat on my head. "Alright then, you two should be on your way!"

Dad pressed his hand on my back, guiding me to move forward. I walked next to Kita and turned toward the doorway, so I was also facing it.

Without warning, the door slammed shut!

Kita and I turned to face each other, but as soon as our eyes made contact, they darted away in unison.

I can't look at her. Something about her right now is so stunning.

I started adjusting myself to begin our walk in the other direction, "Let's start heading over to the karaoke place."

She let out a gasp of air. "Yeah."

We made our way over, there was not a lot of talking, but instead a lot of shifting around from the two of us.

I glanced to my right, where Kita was walking beside me. I can handle myself around the usual Kita. I can tell myself that it's okay I'll miss out on her. But right now... she's...

Kita was the first to break the silence. "Your hair is so pretty. Did you do it yourself?"

The compliment made my heart skip a beat.

To relieve some stress, I twirled a loose strand of hair around my finger as I replied, "Th-Thanks. My mom helped me with my hair."

She leaned into my face and gave me a smile that blinded me. It wasn't just her natural Kitaura, but also her current prettiness. "It looks like a professional did it!"

The extra praise made my cheeks naturally raise into a smile.

This isn't fair... this isn't fair at all.

You love Ryo, it's not right that you can play with my feelings like this.

I can't help feeling you seem so much happier around me today.

Kita took a few quick steps forward and flashed me a wide grin, "So what songs are you going to sing, Hitori-chan?"

I started to sweat. I don't listen to popular music much..! It's another thing that alienates me from the general population. Nowadays, pop is the mainstream music taste, and I still prefer rock. I'm sure that Kita will sing a lot of pop songs.

"Uhm, I'll decide when we get there."

She started to match my walking pace again, "Okay! I'll also choose from the selection there!"

Oh yeah, there's a machine at the karaoke location, huh? I don't know how karaoke works in the slightest...

After a few more seconds of quiet, Kita quickly lifted her head and spoke, "I'm so glad you're wearing the dress I recommended! It fits you perfectly!"

...

Kita knows me too well.

She knows I'm quieter than usual so she's trying to cheer me up.

...Am I in the wrong, though?

Even now, you're putting in the extra effort to make sure I'm feeling better. You pour even more of your heart out for Ryo, and she responds to you indifferently, which only contributes to your belief that you don't deserve to shine.

It's so, so frustrating. I would never turn you down if you asked me to go out as much as you do to Ryo.

Although, isn't it the two of us who always come up with the plans, now?

I glanced to my right side, Kita-chan was living the moment as we walked, joyfully swinging her arms back and forth with each step.

The mall... karaoke... both of the plans were centered around me.

Could Kita have wanted to hang out with me instead of Ryo?

...

That doesn't matter. Kita dressed up today, and so did I. If I'm like the other people around her, and don't give her the attention she deserves back on a special day like this, I'll make her feel worse inside. And no what feelings are between us, I would never want that to happen.

I stopped worrying and let Kita's positivity infect me, as usual.

With some pep in my step, I responded to her earlier comment about my dress, "Thanks. I've never seen you wear your outfit before.."

She giggled, "I was saving it for a special occasion! I'm glad that you were the first one to see it!"

A knot tied itself in my chest. No matter what I tell myself, I can't stop seeing Kita's kindness for what it is. It feels like so much more than that.

Kita squealed next to me in excitement, "I can't wait to see what this one is like!"

I turned towards her as the two of us stood in front of our room's door. "How are the ones you've been to?"

She pouted, "For being the same price, this one is much nicer!"

"I see."

Kita lifted her hands to her chest. "Anyways, I don't want to wait any longer! Let's see it!" >◡<

She proceeded to open the door and then held it open for me. "You first!"

"Th-Thank you."

I walked into the room and observed the surroundings.

The room was shaped like a square. The doorway was in the very right corner. I looked to my left and saw a TV mounted on the same wall I entered through. A large sofa was backed up against the opposite wall wrapping around the room in a U shape. In the center of the room was a large table, with a couple of microphones resting on its surface. Hanging from the ceiling was a disco ball that illuminated the room in slow, purple lights that moved across everything in the interior.

Kita ushered me in and quickly closed the door behind us as she walked in.

She ran over to the sofa and sat down in the center. Patting down the space next to her, she called me over, "Hitori-chan! Come here!"

I took my time walking over. It was unclear whether I was subconsciously matching the slow pace of the disco lights, or my bottled-up, unclear emotions were weighing me down.

Keeping my skirt in place, I sat right next to Kita. I looked into her eyes and could only mutter two words. "Thank you."

Just a year ago, I lived every day by myself. Except for my parents who are naturally obligated to support me, nobody was brave enough to learn about the lonely Hitori. Sure, Nijika was the reason I joined Kessoku Band. But without Kita swooping into my life and constantly forcing me out of my comfort zone, I would never have wanted to better myself with anything other than music.

Of course, I can't say all that to her.

All I could mutter out was... thank you.

She tilted her head and gave me a warm smile. "I don't know what you're thanking me for, but you're welcome!"

Kita leaned back into the sofa. "There's a bunch I want to thank you for, you know..."

However, she stood up and grabbed a microphone!

"But let's have fun right now, Hitori-chan!"

More of her positivity ran through my veins. I threw my hand into the air. "Yeah!"

Kita sat back down and crossed her arms, still holding the microphone. "Now, we just have to figure out how this works."

"So even the room is different than the spot you've gone to?"

She sulked a little. "Yeah, they had a tablet set up. Guess we're going to have to rely on that."

Her arm pointed at the television screen. It displayed a QR code amidst an orange-to-purple gradient background.

What could she be upset about?

Ah, she was probably hoping that neither of us would go on our phones, like how our mall trip went.

I don't want her to get distracted by all the notifications she's piled up by now, so I brought out my phone and scanned it.

Kita stopped slouching and leaned into my shoulder to watch me navigate my phone.

T-Too close...

After downloading the app and making an account, she offered to take my phone from me. "I'll sing first, Hitori-chan! I'll show you how it's done!"

My phone screen was now projected on the television, and I watched her scroll through a large listing of songs.

She stopped on a song I didn't recognize and put my phone on the table. She grabbed a microphone and stood up.

Before she could reach down and press play, I interjected. "D-Don't you have to do your vocal warmups?"

Kita's face grew a little red. "I-I'm surprised you notice me do that..."

My shoes started to melt. Am... am I a stalker? o_o

She noticed me start to shake and put all of her shame away. "We'll go over it when it's your time to sing!"

"Okay."

Kita looked off to the side. "I... really like this song."

Realizing that she might be embarrassed to share it with me, I smiled at her for reassurance. "Sing your heart out, then!"

She smirked and sat beside me, pressing the play button shortly after.

♪ Kita readied herself as the music began. ♪

Speakers produced sound from all around us.

It didn't sound like a song Kita would listen to. It was slow, peaceful, and nothing like a pop song.

I glanced down in shame and blushed a little. I should stop assuming that Kita is anything like the average girl. She is so much more unique than that.

Lyrics flashed across the screen, signaling that the vocals would start soon.

Kita took one last breath before bringing the microphone to her mouth.

And then, she began to sing.

...

H-Huh?

This is... beautiful.

I don't know if it's because I normally focus on my guitar when we practice, but I've never taken into account how great Kita's singing voice is.

It's calm and serene, contrasting how she normally excitedly speaks to me.

Something about it makes me... entranced.

My mouth hung in awe as I watched Kita with wonder. She's so hardworking, she is giving her singing her all. I could tell that just by every subtle body movement she was making.

As she got into it, she closed her eyes, bringing the microphone closer to her mouth.

I can't look away.

I started to lose focus on anything in the room that wasn't Kita, so the lights on the walls quickly began to resemble stars instead.

Kita opened her right eye and initially glanced at the lyrics with it. However, her pupil quickly tracked to me.

She knows I'm staring at her... but I don't even care.

I just want to admire everything about her.

Kita turned her full head towards me and opened her left eye.

She's singing towards me... with a smile on her face.

My heart began to thump quickly.

The walls around us quickly disappeared, with the stars plastered on them quickly receding into the vastness of outer space, but remaining visible. The sofa we were sitting on had transformed into a ring of Saturn.

Kita started to kick her legs, above nothingness, above the dangerous but exciting unknown. She continued to sing her soul out.

I never want to hear you say you can’t draw people in again. Just look at how talented and amazing you are.

Her eyes pierced my soul. Her beautiful white teeth sometimes revealed themselves and pressed together as she sang.

My face is heating up. My bare knees are rubbing up against each other. My arms are squirming.

Kita-chan...

You're much more special than you think, to me at least...

I don't want Kita to live in a world like this, where she believes she's not enough for anyone else.

As the song began to reach its climax, she brought the microphone closer to her mouth.

She then poured all of her energy into her last phrase and began holding a long note.

Background vocals came through the speakers, and steadily overshadowed her voice.

Kita put the microphone down and looked away. Her frame was small enough to showcase all of her heavy breaths.

Sweat covered her face and forearms, and her body was heated red because of all the effort she put into singing. I started tuning out the voices in the background, and my delusion of the space scenery faded into our real location: the karaoke room.

"How did you like that, Hitori-chan?"

"I -Ah, I- ...."

Her eyebrows slanted into a worrying look.

Does she think a performance of that caliber wouldn't be enough? I'm just speechless, that's it!

I pressed my hands into my lap and squinted my eyes. "I loved it, Kita-chan!" 

Her mouth widened out of pure happiness and her arms were wrapped around me in an instant.

The almost-tackle she performed made me gasp as my soul left my body.

"I'm so glad you liked it, Hitori-chan!" 

"H-How could I n-not..."

For being such a fragile girl, her grip around me was still so strong. Any exhaustion from her performance was replaced with enthusiasm.

Kita let go of me and scooted further back down the sofa. Her face heated up again and she looked away bashfully. "Sorry, I can't do that to you..."

Wh-Why not? She's normally comfortable being touchy with me...

She handed me a different microphone, "It's your turn, Hitori-chan!"

"Oh-Okay. Can we go over the breathing practices?"

Kita nodded and scooted herself right in front of me.

She reached her right hand out to my face and rested it on my left cheek.

On my cheek?

My face instantly felt fuzzy. I could feel my body temperature go up.

Kita had a red face, too. She barely managed to get her next words out, "You... put... you put your hands... right there on both sides..."

I lifted both of my arms to let her know I understood. She quickly retracted her hand, and I put my hands on my face where she had demonstrated.

Holding onto the forearm of her arm that touched me, she timidly commented on my placement. "You look good. Your form is perfect..."

She then placed her hands on her cheeks, mimicking me. "Next up, you need to pucker your lips!"

I did as instructed, and so did she. We were both making the same face just over a foot away.

This looks like we're going to...

Kita's entire face instantly flushed a rosy color, and she slid her hands over her mouth.

She looked away.

Kita thought the same thing as me, didn't she...? It looked like we were going to kiss.

...

Maybe it's just me being selfish like usual... but is there a possibility that Kita... likes me?

She never left my side when I was unconscious in the school nursery, she always wants to hang out, and she opened up to me before any of the other band members...

But again, this is just how she treats her close friends, I wouldn't know how real friends treat each other... Kita was my first one.

...

B-But for one reason or another, she always blushes around me...

The weight of a galaxy entered my stomach. I promised myself I would never look too deeply into her mannerisms...

That is impossible to do when she's currently in front of me, hiding her face and shyly facing away from me.

A realization quickly hit me.

Whatever this special treatment she gives me is, I can use it to show her that I can see her uniqueness. I can be the voice she hears that tells her how much she deserves to shine.

I shifted my body closer to Kita and tapped her shoulder. "Kita-chan...?"

Her head sprung up, and she looked back at me. "O-Oh, yeah! When you make that face, blow raspberries. It helps with your vocals!"

"Forget the practice, Kita-chan," I looked away from her, "I-I don't think I can sing on your level anyway."

She awkwardly laughed. "Of course, you can, Hitori-chan! Once you get some practice, imagine how great your videos will be with singing and your amazing guitar playing!"

She's shifting the focus of the conversation away from her talents...

My face grew red. My vision still wavered off as I spoke as quietly as a mouse, "W-Well, your singing is so beautiful, I wouldn't mind if you were the one singing in my covers..."

I heard her gasp.

"Hitori-chan, you really think so?"

I meekly nodded in response and finally glanced back at her.

She had sparkles in her eyes. Not the usual stars that appear when she gets excited by a random thought, but instead distant, glistening flickers deep in her eyes.

The next action I did was bold, super bold. It was something I'd never do if I wasn't with the girl who rubbed off some of her confidence on me.

Both of my hands cusped Kita's right hand. With a heated face, I tried my best to impress her. "Kita-chan, I want you to sing on guitarhero. I wouldn't want anyone else."

She smiled and looked down, flushed like a cherry. "Thank you."

It wasn't a direct answer, but I can tell that she appreciates it.

My stomach filled with butterflies. Making her this happy makes me feel good as well...

I gently released Kita's soft hand and brought my arms to my lap.

Facing back toward the television screen, I stammered, "L-Let's get back to singing!"

As she replied, I could hear her smiling, "Yeah."

Kita cusped her hands. "I still want to hear you sing!" >_<

All that, and I couldn't avoid singing...

"Uhm, I'm n-not going to try though..."

She nodded. "Okay!"

There you go, Hitori! Now she can't judge me for singing terribly..!

After Kita picked a song for me, I stood up and wobbled in fear. Of course, now she chooses a pop song.

I'm glad that the rest of the band isn't here. Even with just Kita, I can barely handle the pressure. I'd much rather perform a guitar solo in front of thousands.

Okay, that might be too far...

She handed me a microphone and held the phone in her hands. "Are you ready, Hitori-chan?"

I nodded. I might as well get this over with... -.-

I tried my best; I truly did. However, the pressure of not embarrassing myself in front of someone was too much for me to handle. My voice quaked as I sang. My hopes of ever becoming a professional singer dwindled.

I was already out of breath as the song reached its midway point calmed down for a bit and focused on the instruments.

On my knees, I looked over at Kita. "I-I'm surprised you're able to handle all this..."

She showed all her teeth in a wide smile, "I just have a lot more vocal training than you!"

Kita picked up another microphone and got up from the sofa. She stood right in front of me.

"Wha- What are you doing?"

She gave me a wink, "Let's sing this next part together!"

As Kita and I faced each other, a flash came from our side, meaning the next lyrics appeared on the screen. 

I gave her a stern nod, "Yeah!"

We sang. I didn't look at the lyrics, taking in Kita's glamor was much more important.

I never raise my voice. I've gotten used to being overshadowed by others who are much louder than me. But right now, it just feels so good to express all my warm emotions in song.

As the song ended, Kita and I held the last note as we stared into each other's eyes.

We both slumped into the sofa when it was over.

Catching my breath, I looked over to Kita. "That- that felt really good..."

Snapping out of her exhaustion, she scooted next to me and had her usual excited eyes. "I know, right?! Let's sing again!"

"Y-You can sing another solo song first..."

We lost track of time.

Kita and I sang another duet together, and she had done a few more solo songs. Thankfully, I never ended up singing alone again.

We were both tired and resting on the sofa. At this point, the slow-moving disco lights looked more hypnotic and nauseating instead of fun.

...It would be best to leave soon. What if we stay past midnight?

I'm pretty sure that we rented the room only for the rest of the day! If we stay too long, will the owners sue us and have us convicted? o_o

Oh well, I'm sure that if Kita and I went to jail together, we'd have a lot of fun there, too...

"Kita-chan, I think we've done enough. We should start going home now."

She moved herself closer to my left and pressed her fingers together. "Uhm, Hitori-chan..."

What is she going to ask me?

"Do you want to do some girl's talk?"

I started to panic. I-I've never done any girl's talk before! I don't even know what it's about! I-Isn't it about stuff like romance?

However, this may be another way of getting Kita to open up to me. "S-Sure."

Kita clapped her hands a few times. "Yay! I've never really done this before..."

I thought that popular girls always did girl's talk!

...To be fair, Kita’s other friendships do seem a little superficial. Not to assume much, but maybe she never got close enough to her friends to talk about more personal things. Whenever her friends come to us at school, they always just talk about bland stuff.

My stomach lowered. Kita, deep down, how disconnected do you feel from everyone else? No wonder you never open up to anyone...

I gave her a truthful reassurance. "Me neither."

She started to kick her feet. "Uhm, should we start then?"

I closed my eyes. Ah, if she truly does love Ryo, I'm sure I'm about to hear a lot about her right now...

"Hitori-chan, what boy do you like?"

H-Huh??

I don't... like boys...

Where did she get that idea?

She curled up on the sofa and dug her face into her knees. "I saw it in your videos. You mentioned having a boyfriend... what boy were you thinking about when you lied?"

I- I wasn't... she was watching my videos??

Kita-chan...

This is one huge misunderstanding.

I looked away from Kita. "...I don't like boys, at all. You've seen all my other lies about being popular on my channel. I just thought... I'd be more accepted if I said I had a boyfriend instead of a girlfriend..."

Kita lifted her face and turned it towards me. Her arm, which was also resting on her knee, covered the lower half of her face. I could only see her small nose and weak eyes.

"Hitori-chan... you're into girls?"

The question made me heat up and unleashed a whirlwind of butterflies in my stomach.

She wasn't wrong.

I nodded in a reserved manner. "Yes."

Kita dug her head back into her knees. "Oh..."

What's... what's wrong?! Did I say something bad?

Her next words were muffled, "It's my turn, then."

I inched closer to Kita, ready to comfort her about any assumption she might have had for me. Any special words... she might have prepared for me.

She glanced back in my direction, her eyes glistening on the verge of tears. 

"I..... I don't think Ryo likes me."

Chapter Text

"I..... I don't think Ryo likes me."

I didn't say anything back. Her words cleaved through my heart. I didn't need to listen to anything else Kita said after. The tears that began to flow from the corners of her eyes didn't bother me.

It's like when she talks about her school friends. It's something I don't care much for or need to hear.

But this is something much more different than apathy.

It's jealousy.

After all this time together, a special day where we both dressed up for one another, a day where I sang my emotions out... she mentions her?

I hate this. I hate everything. To think Kita had anything special to say to me was foolish. I've done the number one thing I told myself not to do: get caught up in my delusions.

How sad I am. How sad to assume that Kita values me as much as I value her.

Kita's voice sounded more like a whimper. Her mouth struggled to keep itself straight. "I... I've done so much for her... I've tried so hard..."

I clenched my fists tight. Don't listen, Hitori. Don’t listen. Don’t listen.

However, it was impossible to get away from her words. 

She lowered her head. "But I never got anything back. I never do. No matter who. I never seem to get anything back. I just give, and give, and give..!"

I bitterly turned my head toward her. I'm always there for you. I always listen to you. What do you mean, you never get anything back? If I'm not anything to you, then I'm nothing...

Do you not care about me, Kita?

Kita looked up cautiously. "It-It's okay, though. It was just a silly little crush anyways..."

A crush that was never going to go anywhere.

She doesn’t need any of my comfort. I could offer anything she needs, but she doesn’t want anything from me.

Still not paying any attention to me, Kita kept venting to herself. “M-My crush blew over, anyway...”

...

I don't even care.

That just means if I comfort her now, I'd be nothing more than a rebound.

“...When you told me I should give myself the love I deserve, I-I started to reflect on how other people treated me, too...”

She sniffled. "A-And Ryo doesn't... doesn't give that love back at all!"

Kita made the realization because I told her that?

My eyes started to water. If I close them, tears will start flowing out. I preferred the hassle of keeping them open. No matter how much they burned. The pain in my eyes was nothing compared to that in my heart.

I was the one who ruined Kita's dreams. I was the one who took her happiness away. I should have let her live in her aimless delusions of a happy relationship with Ryo. But because I'm selfish and wanted to get close to Kita, I ended up preaching nonsense to her... and now she feels terrible.

This is all my fault.

The puddles building up in my eyes started to obstruct my vision.

Her irregular breaths became slow as she started to cool down, “In the end, we were only meant to be friends...” 

Kita’s tears stopped flowing. She had let everything out in front of me. She had nothing to say to me...

She glanced at me, her brow furrowed. She seemed... worried. For what reason? I wasn't included in her long rant about people important to her...

“Tha-That must have been a lot, I’m sorry, Hitori-chan.” 

Her apology didn’t matter. At this point, my ears and heart were closed. Any sound that reached my brain didn't get registered. She paused for a moment and digested my silence.

“...I ruined the night, didn’t I?”

The downpour of tears started to come back from her eyes. If my vision wasn’t blurry, I might have been able to discern if it was more than her previous fit.

I could feel a cold drip on my cheek. Even just by sitting here, I’m making her upset.

My emotions couldn’t be contained, and hiccups started to disturb my breaths.

“H-Hitori... I’m... so sorry...” she murmured. 

Then she abruptly stood up, hiccuping herself and gasping for breath. “I-I’m...” 

She gasped for breath and straightened her posture. “I’m sorry for hurting you. I’ll be going now. The room is already paid for, so you don’t have to worry about that.”

Kita dashed out of the room.

Gone.

Gone, just like that.

She’s only ever been so ashamed as to leave once before, back when she first joined Kessoku Band.

And I was the cause of her second time.

I tried to take back control of my breathing. Right now, I wasn’t in control, but my tears were.

In. In and out. One breath in, one breath out.

But I can’t. I can’t stop them. At first, it’s just a few. Dripping down my face. I hiccup as I try to force my emotions down.

I can’t take this anymore...

I can’t take being me. I gasp for breath as I lower my head. Tears flow from my ducts like a river, dripping down and wetting my dress.

I don’t care. Why should I? The only person who I wanted to impress with it is gone now.

I leaned my head back into the material comfort of the sofa.

Without Kita, I’m nobody. I can’t even breathe knowing that I upset her. All I can get out are raspy gasps and hiccups.

I shivered.

I feel so alone right now. Not just in this room, but in the world. I’m all by myself, as insignificant as a bug.

My dress was ruined, my hair messed up, and my heart shattered.

...Despite that, I’m sure that Kita feels even worse.

“Don’t make her feel like a strain.”

Nijika’s voice echoed in my head. 

Ah, right...

I didn’t listen to the most important piece of advice I received.

My silence didn’t help at all, did it? I just made Kita feel like a burden, when she finally fully revealed her vulnerable side to me.

It took her a lot of trust to open up, and I threw it all away. I’m a terrible friend.

...I want to apologize to Kita. I want to get on my knees and beg for forgiveness.

She might not accept it, but that's the only way I can show how much remorse I have.

I stood up and glanced towards the doorway. I'm going to find Kita.

If she wanted to go home, there was only one place she'd walk to, Kanazawa-Hakkei Station!

I ran.

I ran out of the karaoke room.

I ran past the cashiers and customer service.

I ran past the nightlife and couples enjoying the neon alleyways.

The shackles of society's possible judgment were lifted. I felt no shame. No outside emotions mattered to me except the ones in Kita's precious heart, a heart she tries her best to expand to others.

Even though I always wear a tracksuit, I could be called the opposite of fit. It didn't take long for me to run out of breath and exhaust myself.

I'm... not... going to find her, am I?

I reached a bridge that spanned over some water flowing from Hirakata Bay. I leaned on the railing and kept stumbling forward as the occasional car whizzed past me and blew wind in my face. I looked down to minimize the gusts of wind.

I'm exhausted, I'm tired, and my legs want to fail and collapse.

Each step felt like a victory in its own right. Everything is against me. It's like the world is telling me to give up.

However, whether it was fate or simply dumb luck, I had the sudden urge to lift my head and look forward. Someone was looking over the bridge railing and towards the bay.

The small, quivering figure in front of me stared straight at the full moon, her hands clamped together.

The moonlight highlighted her wet eyes and made her damp cheeks sparkle in the dark.

I stopped walking forward and kept gazing at Kita. The moon stood between us in the distant sky, its image reflected in the bay.

I can’t mess this up. If I do, our friendship will never be the same. There’s so much pressure, I wish I didn’t have to confront her, I’d rather perform my guitar in front of thousands.

But I have to do this.

"K-Kita-chan!"

She turned in my direction and her eyes met mine.

My heart skipped a beat. She sees me. I’m sure she’s thinking all sorts of bad things about me right now...

I sifted my hands through my hair and let my hairdo come undone. "K-Kita-chan! I'm so, so, sorry!"

I took one step forward. "I should have been there for you, but instead, I chose to ignore you... That must have hurt."

Kita took a much smaller step towards me, her eyes starting to leak some tears on the sidewalk. "It did hurt, Hitori-chan."

Her words felt like a punch to the gut. However, they were true. I deserve a reality check like this.

I lifted my foot and planted it in front, another step towards the vulnerable girl. "Y-You didn't deserve that treatment from me. In the moment, I just got very heated and began to ignore you..."

She grabbed her right arm, which was dangling to her side. "Why did you get upset?"

My vision darted off to the side. The moon's reflection in the water would have been perfect if it wasn't broken up by occasional waves. Would she get upset if I admit it's because she mentioned Ryo? Will she just look down on me for being envious of her attention?

I'd rather be pitiful in her eyes than lie to her.

"I... I got very jealous when you talked about R-Ryo and others. Y-You got upset with other people, and it felt like you ignored how much I've tried to do for you until this point!"

Kita took a tiny step forward.

I-I'm coming off so selfishly... Maybe Kita will realize just how much of a terrible human I am...

Another step, slightly larger. And another one. Kita didn't stop stepping forward, in fact, she was accelerating!

My heart began to race. What… what is she doing? What is she going to say? Just how hard is she going to condemn me?

She stopped about two feet away from me and spoke softly. "Hitori-chan, I know how much you've done for me, I wouldn't have vented to you if I didn't appreciate everything you do in the first place!"

A pit opened in my stomach. I said my next thoughts out loud. "A-And I betrayed your expectations, I couldn't handle it... I'm sorry, Kita-chan... You should forget about me and talk to any of your other friends instead..."

Kita stepped forward one more time and placed her hand on my cheek. She lifted my face until we made eye contact. She then furrowed her eyes.

"Hitori-chan, I trust you, I treasure you. If you never brought me back to Kessoku Band, I don't know what my life would be like right now."

My heart throbbed. She… she really does value me.

She continued, "If-If we never met, I'd just be another ordinary girl! I can't do anything but thank you, Hitori-chan!"

Butterflies fluttered around my stomach. That's exactly how I feel about you, Kita-chan, you've changed my life so much, and you're invaluable to me now.

I lifted a shaky hand and placed it on her shoulder. "Th-Then, let's keep changing each other's lives... I don't want to ever upset you again..."

Kita smiled and backed off. She offered me her pinky finger.

"Hitori-chan, let's promise to always be there for each other. No matter what."

My cheeks warmed up. This... this is all I ever wanted.

I stuck out my pinky and slowly moved my hand over to hers. I've never made a pinky promise before, but I'm not worried about messing it up. I'm sure even if I squeezed too hard or too softly, Kita would accept me no matter what.

We locked our pinkies and made a promise in front of the full moon, to never betray each other again.

...

I leaned against the bridge's railing and let out a heavy breath of relief, "Kita-chan, I was going to get on my knees and beg you for forgiveness! I'm glad we settled this without going that far..."

She brought her hand up to her mouth and giggled. "Maybe I should have been a little more stubborn, then."

H-Huh?!?

"Kita-chan, did you want to see me beg for forgiveness?!"

She let out a small laugh. "No, no, I was joking. But, there is something I do want to see you do."

"Wh-What are you talking about?"

Kita brought out her phone and pointed at the camera. "You should know."

I quickly held out my arms and waved my hands in a panic. "B-But my hair is all messed up! I can't be in a picture!"

She slid to my side and held the phone in front, ready for a selfie of the two of us. "Don't worry, nobody else will see this."

My ahoge spun in a circle. Another photo for just the two of us?

"Oh-Okay."

She snapped the picture and moved away from the railing we were leaning on. "What do you want to do now, Hitori-chan?!”

It’s so late now, I can’t believe she thinks I can handle doing more stuff...

I stood straight, brought my hand behind her back, and nudged a little, urging her to walk with me. "L-Let's take you to the train station now..."

Kita nodded and matched my pace.

After some minutes of silence, she spoke, "Hitori-chan, do you remember when we sat outside your house after the mall trip? We waited for my mom to pick me up."

Hm? There wasn't anything particularly special about that moment. We didn't talk much that night.

"Yeah."

She leaned her head close to mine and pointed at the starry sky. "Unlike at your house, we can see all the stars here. Isn't the sky so beautiful?"

Ah, one of my many speeches about space must've finally gotten to her head. 

However, I couldn't exactly confirm or deny her claim. That's because I never looked up at the sky she pointed towards. I was still focused on her. Kita shined much more than the full moon or stars ever could. "You're right, Kita-chan… It is beautiful."

The walk home was lonely. I enjoyed dropping Kita off at the train station, but her absence was felt on my journey back. It was cold, quiet, and only getting darker. Kita is like a pocket warmer to help me forget about all that. -.-

However, just thinking about her was enough to warm me up on my way home during the chilly night.

I-I can't believe what just happened! Even though we had a mishap, I feel closer to her than ever.

My heart started to race. And now I know for certain that she doesn't like Ryo back anymore... hehe.

After around twenty minutes of walking, I got to my house without issue.

I grabbed a hidden key from underneath the doormat and entered the front door.

It was dark inside, but not pitch black. Futari, Mom, and Dad were seated and watching a movie in the dark.

They paused it and got up to welcome me home.

Futari ran over first and hugged my knee. "Sis! You're back!"

My mother and father followed behind.

Mom widened her mouth. "Hitori-chan, what happened to your hair?"

Oh. I forgot about that..!

I scratched my head. "N-Nothing. I had so much fun, it came undone!"

Dad crossed his arms. "That's good, we were all hoping you had a great time with Kita-chan!"

My heart skipped a beat. Kita-chan...

I could feel my cheeks grow warmer. H-How can he say her name so easily?

Mom chimed in. "I'm sure she was dressed just as adorable as you were!"

Oh yeah, my mother didn't see Kita come pick me up. Adorable wouldn't describe how nice she looked...

Dad turned to Mom. "Yeah! They both looked like dolls!"

Futari tried to start climbing me again. "Sis! I wanted to see Kita-chan!"

S-Stop! What is this feeling?

My heart keeps beating quicker and quicker.

These weird emotions... they're making my feet melt into the floor...

My father scooped Futari up. "When is she going to come over again? We'd love to have her as a proper guest!"

How... How can they all talk about her so casually?

Better off, wh-why can't I think of her normally?

My throat started closing up. My next words came out like a squeak. "I-I don't know!"

I ran into the comfort of my room and dove into my futon.

L-Let me just think of her name without overreacting...

K-Kita... 

Kita. Kita Ikuyo. ⺣◡⺣

I dug my red face into my pillow.

...

Oh no. This isn't good.

This isn't good at all.

I need to sleep these feelings off. When I wake up, I should be back to normal!

After such an eventful day at karaoke, it shouldn't be hard to drift away...

Hopefully... that will... solve... everything...

...

Totally oblivious, I went to sleep in my room.

Oblivious of a promise. The promise I made with Nijika, to let her know how everything went.

The promise that would have saved our friendship.

Chapter Text

"Demonic?!"

I held my phone closer to my mouth and solemnly nodded. "Yes! She is! If I do it alone, she'll put me through a neverending cycle of torture!"

Kita paused before answering, "But Futari is nice to me... I guess I can help though. I cleared my schedule today for practice, after all."

I rested my phone on my shoulder and then clasped my hands like a monk. "Thank you!"

I'm glad that Kita is willing to come over today. She's so reliable. -ᴗ-

Calling her at six in the morning for a favor like this was a huge shot in the dark, but it paid off. On similarly short notice, my parents announced to Futari and me that they were having a lovely one-day escape. Although I should have expected something like this, considering how weird they acted at the birthday dinner.

My parents were originally going to tell me last night, but I mistakenly threw a wrench in their plan by passing out when I returned home. They decided that letting me know when I woke up was a much better idea than rescheduling to give me time to prepare. I can't exactly blame them, though. After all, the weather outside is getting colder and colder, limiting possible activities to do out there with each passing day.

My cheeks flushed a little. It'd probably be fun to have an escape day with Kita, without thinking of any consequences... That sounds like a real extrovert activity.

However! That's not important right now!

The plan is simple: Kita and I take care of Futari until it's time to practice, and then we leave her in the care of Nijika's sister and PA-san when we arrive at Starry!

I punched my hand in the air. Good job, Hitori! You're so smart and capable!

An hour after my parents left, I heard a familiar knock on the door.

Kita's here!

I ran over to the door and opened it, practically jumping with excitement. Of course, I was met by no one other than Kita herself!

She wore an orange loose dress shirt and a black belt tied around her small waist to hold her khaki shorts. Her guitar was in a case strapped behind her back.

Cute... even without dressing up as much as she did yesterday, she's still so cute...

I warmed up in embarrassment. I should have worn something other than my pink tracksuit today. Compared to her, I look very unimpressive.

Forming eye contact with her was impossible. Although I've grown used to her presence and can usually do it without panicking, I can't look at Kita the same anymore, not after last night's events.

Hell, I can't even be in her presence now. Standing across from her makes my heart race at speeds that shouldn't be possible.

The constant thumping makes it hard to get any words out.

I lifted my hand. "H-Hi."

She did the same. "Good morning, Hitori."

H-Huh??

J-Just Hitori? Nothing else..?

I can’t get too choked up on this, or else I’ll be awkward keeping her outside!

"G-Good morning, yeah. Come in."

As she walked in, I gently closed the door behind her. "R-Right now, Futari is asleep. If we don't wake her up, we might be able to have a relaxing day.”

She swiftly turned around back to me, making me jolt. "So you're saying if we keep Futari-chan asleep, we’ll have the whole house to ourselves?"

I looked off to the side. "Y-Yeah. Pretty much."

Kita smiled and let out a quiet celebration. "Yay! Let’s have fun, Hitori.”

Hitori.

Hitori.

My stomach is starting to eat itself alive because she's calling me that.

I stood still and let her walk past me. The tips of her ears were redder than usual.

Kita-chan... is in my house.

She’s calling me by my first name now.

My weird feelings from last night never went away. Now that I know Kita doesn't have her heart set on Ryo, it feels as if my whole relationship with her has a new meaning.

I can't force myself to look past her intimate moments with me anymore, or my growing attraction toward her...

I'm scared, I'm scared that I won't be able to have any more dumb fun with her if I can't think of anything other than romance when I'm around her...

"Hitori?"

My ahoge stiffened like a stick as I whipped towards her. "Hm- Uh, yeah!?"

Kita brought her hands up to her chest. "I asked if you wanted to sit on the couch together. I don't think that would wake Futari-chan up."

Sitting next to each other? That sounds nice. We can even turn the television volume down low.

We both went to the black couch and sat down in unison.

However, we had made one miscalculation. We didn't check what exactly was on the couch before sitting down.

A squeaky noise could be heard the second that Kita sat down.

She- she sat on one of Jimihen's play balls?! O_O

Kita covered her mouth, her eyes widening. "That- that wasn't too loud, right?"

A dreadful realization hit me. "Futari and Jimihen are inseparable. She... might have been taking a nap with him right now."

A drop of sweat dripped down the side of Kita’s head. "L-Let's just hope that he didn't hear it!"

We both knew that was unrealistic.

A door from another room creaked open, and we heard Jimihen’s little legs running on the wooden floor.

He ran up to Kita and jumped into her lap. His panting was frantic from moving his little body so quickly.

Kita lifted her arms as they got licked. “Okay, okay! I do have your ball, I’m sorry!”

She tossed the ball on the carpet beneath the sofa so that it didn’t make a noise, and turned to me. “Maybe Futari-chan wasn’t napping with him...?”

What happens when you speak of the devil? He appears.

Or in this case, she appears.

The floor began to creak again as more footsteps put pressure on it.

Kita and I turned our heads toward each other with terrified eyes. Futari... is here.

She stepped into view. Each step she took unleashed a shockwave of energy.

At first, Futari rubbed her eyes. She was dazed from being woken up. But once she glanced upwards and caught Kita in her vision, all of the drowsiness left her.

"Kita-chan!!!"

Futari jumped into Kita's lap and laid her head on Kita's chest.

My face heated up, and I looked away as Jimihen drooled at my feet. Lucky girl...

Kita smiled and exerted some of her Kitaura. "Futari-chan! Hi!!! We've been waiting for you to wake up!"

Futari dangled her hands up towards Kita's face. "Munions song! I want you to play the Munions song!"

Kita scratched the back of her own head with a dazed face. "I woke up recently, just like you! How about some breakfast first?"

My little sister put her finger in her mouth and grumbled. "Fine!"

Kita gave me a worried glance and mouthed out some words. "Can you cook?"

Sweat began to drop from my face. O-Only cereal!

Kita rolled her orange sleeves up to her elbows and sighed. "Jeez, I can't believe you don't know how to make pancakes."

I looked away in embarrassment. "W-Well I know the basics... but I can't make anything beyond eggs and rice."

This isn't good, Kita will be back to adding -chan to my name any minute now if I keep giving myself a bad image...

Futari was seated on the couch with Jimihen, watching some television.

I walked over to the sink and began cleaning a plate while Kita checked for supplies. I also rolled my sleeves up my arms and tied my hair into a ponytail to protect it.

She said we're going to make some pancakes... I don't think that'll be too hard. I just don't want her to think any less of me... huh?

As I looked to my side, I noticed Kita covering her mouth and staring at my face.

Her face quickly flushed red and she turned around. "You... should do that more... you look good."

My heart skipped a beat. "Th-thank you." If my heart keeps doing this around Kita, it might make living a lot harder...

Hands quivering, cheeks warming up, it was difficult for me to clean the plates.

It was like that the whole time we cooked together.

Kita handled all the advanced tasks, like shuffling the batter around in the pan over the stove to form the pancakes, while I fetched her all of the supplies she needed.

However, it was enough to be successful! I handed her Futari's pancake which was plated the way she liked it- covered in syrup and and diced strawberries. Luckily, I could at least handle a knife.

As Kita walked over to the table to serve a waiting Futari, I wondered if I should be considerate.

I'm sure if I ask Kita what type of pancake she likes and make it for her, she'll be happy. After all, she did all of the hard parts already...

This is it. I’ve avoided saying her name this whole time, but now I have to say it. Should I also drop the honorific and call her Kita?

...I wouldn’t mind that, personally. I want to get even closer to her.

"K-Kita!"

She jolted and almost dropped the pancakes. She turned around and spoke in a shaky voice. "Y-Yes, Hitori?"

"H-How do you want your pancakes?"

She grabbed her arm. "I wasn't going to have any... but I guess you can give me two normal ones."

Kita's trying to eat less on purpose again.

I put my hand on my hip. "Are you sure you want them just plain?"

She looked at the floor. "Fine, you can add sugar too."

I put powdered sugar on both Kita's and my pancakes and walked the plates over to the table. Futari was already digging into her meal.

Kita and I sat across from each other at the table.

As Kita stuck her fork into her food, she looked up at me. "I never normally eat breakfast."

"Why not?"

She spoke again after chewing, "Well, it makes me feel heavy for the rest of the day. It's not just me eating less."

I see... did I make Kita feel like she had to eat? I might've put her on the spot when I asked earlier...

Then, she put her fork down and looked at Futari, who was still munching on the food.

"But you know what? I have a feeling that I'm going to need lots of energy today!"

She offered me a bright, genuine grin, which my body naturally responded to with a smile of its own. "Yes!"

That hopeful feeling quickly depleted, for Futari was just way too demanding.

She was fed up after one game of patty cake with Kita, ten minutes of fetch with Jimihen, and an episode of her favorite show.

Kita collapsed onto the ground, her soul slowly leaving her eyes. "Your parents deal with her every day?"

I nodded, tears coming out of my closed eyes. "Yes..."

Futari ran around the room. "What else are we going to play, Kita-chan!?"

Kita quickly perked up. "What about a game of Jengo?"

Futari stood still and tilted her head. "What's that?"

The extrovert walked over to a shelf and grabbed the box. "Hitori, you never played Jengo with her?"

I shook my head. "You can figure out why my parents thought it wouldn't go well."

Kita squatted down to meet eye-level with Futari and smiled. "How about you go play with Jimihen for a few minutes? Me and your sister are going to build a big tower!"

Futari nodded. "Whatever you say, Kita-chan!"

I crossed my arms. "At least she listens to you."

It took a lot more than a few minutes, but we finished building up the Jengo pyramid after lots of sweat and hard work!

I untied my ponytail and plopped down onto the floor in exhaustion.

We called Futari over and showed her our masterpiece.

Futari sat on the floor in a W position as we described the game to her.

Kita pointed to the tower as she spoke, "...you take one piece of wood and try to make the tower not fall! Whoever makes it fall is the loser!"

Futari nodded and walked over to our construction. Without a second though, she pulled a piece of wood from the base of the tower! It immediately wobbled and started leaning towards me.

I reached my arms out and tried to hold it. She didn't get the gist of the game at all! Our hard work is going to-

Our hard work crashed into my body and fell into pieces. I wasn't enough to stop it from falling.

Futari pointed at me and laughed. "Sis lost!"

The color drained from Kita and I's faces. 

Kita giggled as a bit of her sanity slipped, and took a deep breath. "H-How about we go take a walk?"

Futari nodded. "Okay! I'll get ready!"

The only way to contain this monster was to restrain her arms. The three of us were walking on a sidewalk. Kita was to Futari's left, holding her hand, and I was doing the same with her right hand.

We swung Futari in between us, making sure to not lose our grip on her as she bounced around.

I glanced over to my left and adored Kita. She treats Futari as if she were her sister...

However, going outside wasn’t enough to cure Futari’s boredom.

It gave us even less to do with her!

Kita’s eyes swirled in panic. “Wha-what are we going to do now?!”

I began to sweat so much, I’m not sure if I was holding onto Futari’s hand anymore, or if her hand was stuck in my body’s goop.

We looked down at Futari, who was skipping and humming a song.

Kita and I breathed sighs of relief. Looks like we don’t need to entertain her out here...

Futari suddenly tightened her grip on my hand, and judging by Kita’s sudden stop, I’m sure she did to her as well. The little girl began to jump up and down. “Ice cream! Let’s go get ice cream, Kita-chan!”

Do- Do I exist to you?!?

Kita kneeled to Futari and nodded. “Okay! Where do you want to go?”

Futari swiped my hand loose and pointed to the closest ice cream shop. “That one!”

My sister and I were quick to choose our flavors. She got Cookies and Cream, while I got my usual Cotton Candy.

I checked on Kita, who still hadn’t ordered yet. She rubbed her small belly and murmured the names of the flavors, “Salted Caramel Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Ice Cream?”

She likes to watch her weight, this wouldn’t be good for her at all!

I walked over to her and pointed to the side. “How about a small sorbet instead?”

She brightened up and focused her attention on a raspberry sorbet. “Okay!”

We ate our snacks on our way to Starry. Kita had just checked her phone and noticed that it was about time for us to arrive.

Futari looked up to Kita, completely ignoring me. “So who is Ryo-senpai!? Will she be nice to me?”

Kita almost stopped walking, but quickly met our stride again. “She... she’s a considerate person. She’ll like you.”

Oh yeah, this is the first time Kita will see Ryo ever since her breakdown about her. I wonder how awkward it’ll be... will the band sense any special hormones between me and Kita? Will they take note of us dropping our honorifics?

I can’t tell Kita to call me Hitori only... because then, she’ll know I think of our relationship as something special now.

We made it to the steps leading down to Starry. By now, we were all finished eating. Kita took a step down and then looked back at Futari. “Take your time, okay?”

Futari nodded and followed Kita down. “If you say so, Kita-chan!” ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶

Somehow, some way, Kita’s completely taken over my sister’s heart! My place in the family hierarchy has been overtaken by someone who’s not even in it!

We made our way down and opened the door. A stern voice met us as we entered.

“Mini Bocchi?” Seika rested her head in her palm and stared at us in the doorway. Her dorito was swaying back and forth.

I panicked, let go of Futari’s hand, and brought my hands to my side in the most formal bow I knew- a flowery, refined, and beautiful bow. “I’m- I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner! My parents were gone, we had been taking care of my sister all day! I’m not sure how she will act during practice...”

Seika looked off to the side, her cheeks reddening up a little. “Well, if you need someone to take care of her, I guess I could...”

P-Perfect! I didn’t even have to convince her. She probably doesn’t want to do the chore, but she just wants what’s best for me! What a good boss!

PA-san walked over behind Seika and rubbed her back. “I wanna help out, too!”

Futari pointed her newly freed-up hand toward the two adults. “Are these old people my new parents?”

Uwah! D-Don’t let them know your true nature until Kita and I start practicing!

Without saying any more words, we left Futari to the shaken adults and quickly hurried over to Nijika and Ryo.

Kita giggled on the way over, “Hitori, she’s going to regret asking so much!”

I glanced over at her, and I couldn’t help but laugh a little, “I just hope she doesn’t take it out of our paychecks!”

As we kept chattering, we stumbled into the conference room. The relaxing, bubbly air that I usually feel around Kita quickly dissipated, replaced by a chilly feeling. I blinked as I looked at Nijika and Ryo.

They were sitting next to each other, which differed from how we usually spread around the big table. They weren’t talking to each other and barely acknowledged us entering the room.

Nijika gave us one glimpse before she looked away. “Sit down, you’re late,” she said with a flat expression.

Whether it was to mimic them, or just because of our desire to be with each other, Kita and I sat close to each other on the side of the table opposite to Nijika and Ryo.

Personally... I’d rather stick around Kita when the air is this tense.

Ryo was staring blankly at us, not moving the scene one bit.

Nijika coughed and stood up. She grabbed her small whiteboard and pointed to it.

She read the words on it as if we couldn’t ourselves. “On December 21st, we’re going to have a performance in Bunkyo City.”

Our next big performance is a little under a month away? Normally she’s excited about this kind of stuff, but it’s almost as if she couldn’t care less...

Ryo added to Nijika’s information. “It’ll be our biggest crowd yet. It’s part of a rock festival with multiple stages, and one of the last bands to perform backed out. We managed to secure the spot. It is the smallest one there, though.”

Nijika crossed her arms. “We? What did you do to help out Sis and I?”

Ryo smugly grinned. “Moral support.”

The drummer began to attack the bassist. I looked down and smiled. Well, whatever’s going on with Nijika, I’m glad that Ryo is being her moral support, whether she knows it or not.

Kita raised her hand. “Uhm, are we going to perform original songs or covers? If it’s in Bunkyo, I don’t know if they’ll recognize us.”

Nijika brought her hand up to her chin. “I think we can go all-original, maybe a cover to open up. Since we’ll be the last performance at one of the stages, we need to get a grip on people before they start leaving for the night.”

I stood up, and a random stroke of confidence encouraged me to stare into Nijika’s cold eyes. “B-But we’re already going to have a crowd there if we perform last! If they hear us perform a cover first off, they might think that we don’t have anything original to show off!”

Ryo nodded slyly. “I like your thinking Bocchi. Nowadays, musicians always make the most money from performances, not from streaming or record purchases-”

Nijika cut her off. “It’s not going to be like the school festival Bocchi-chan. Nobody will know who we are. We need to make them feel comfortable first. Kita-chan, if you went out with your friends to a concert and were all tired, would you stay for some song you’ve never heard, or for a popular song you all love?”

Wh- why did she ask Kita that question about popular music? Because she’s the most “basic” here? 

My hands trembled. I too, made that assumption about Kita, until she played something unique at our karaoke outing.

Kita stood up next to me, placing her hand on my shoulder to steady me. “If we were all tired and ready to leave, we’d leave no matter what song plays. I don’t think it’s fair to try to read the minds of exhausted people. If they’re all coming to a festival, they’d want to hear something they’ve never heard before!”

I turned towards her and gave her a small thumbs up. “Good job, Kita!”

She smiled. “Thank you, Hitori!”

Nijika must have heard us name change our naming conventions because she sat back down and wrapped her left arm around Ryo’s shoulder. “Oh yeah, you guys have been spending a lot of time together, huh?”

Kita and I sat down too. Kita raised an eyebrow. “Yeah? Is there anything wrong with that?”

Nijika nodded. “Yes. You’ve been missing out on a lot of practices lately. The mall, karaoke, and you were even late today when you two came in together. You didn’t even have school, so how could you come in at the same time?”

My feet started to melt. She- She’s onto us!

Kita and I hopelessly stared at each other with open mouths and swirly eyes.

She continued with lightless eyes, not a lick of sympathy within her words. “You know... guitar players are a dime a dozen. You shouldn’t take Ryo and I for granted. Nobody wants to play bass, and drummers are always in demand. We aren’t as difficult to replace as you guys.”

Ryo pulled out some sunglasses out of nowhere and slapped them onto her face. “Yeah, Nijika and I are so incredibly valuable, we could easily rent ourselves out to other bands.”

That... sounds very wrong!

Kita looked down at the table. “So you think I’m replaceable? I knew I wasn’t as talented as the rest of you...”

I started to rub her back and glared at Nijika.

Nijika stuck out her hands and waved them around. “Sorry, sorry, Kita-chan! I’ve been spending so much time with Ryo, I think she kind of rubbed off on me!”

...What kind of excuse is that?

Ryo rubbed her hair until one strand started sticking upwards. “See? I’m just like Nijika.”

…

Nijika ignored her and wrote something down on the whiteboard. “Well, I’ve been thinking that we haven’t been spending enough time together anyway. How about we visit Bunkyo before our performance and hang out together as a band?”

I looked at Kita, then downwards. I kind of... don’t want to go. But if I say no, it might tick off Nijika even more...

Glancing back up, Kita and I gave each other worried eyes. Underneath the table, she gently placed her hand on my leg. My face instantly heated up.

I- Is this her way of asking me if I’m okay with it? I can’t do the same back to her though, she has shorts on! I’d never touch her bare leg in a million years! >.<

Time was ticking without Nijika getting back an answer. Kita was waiting for my confirmation.

I placed my shaking hand on top of her hand that was resting on my leg.

Kita spoke with a confident voice. “I’m fine with that.”

I nodded and tried my best to sound excited, failing miserably. “M-Me too.”

Ryo stuck out a thumbs up. “‘I’ll go, too.”

After the group confirmation, we proceeded to practice. Despite the sparks building up between us, we still synced our playing well.

Kita and I picked up Futari from the living quarters above Starry. When we opened the door, we were met with a lot of commotion.

Futari was running around in the background as Seika greeted the door with frazzled hair. PA-san was on the ground, and Kikuri was chasing Futari?

This was way too much to process. It’s nighttime, and I’m exhausted from practice, too. ｡Ó﹏Ò｡

Kita’s mouth widened. “Why is she here?”

Kikuri wandered over and laughed, waving around an empty bottle. “Don’t worry! I didn’t give her any!”

Futari ran over to her leg. “I want to drink too, Auntie Kikuri! Or at least give some to sis! You were just like her before you drank that!”

The color left Kita’s body. I quickly scooped up Futari and apologized to Seika for the trouble.

Futari slept like a baby as Kita gave her a piggyback ride on the walk home. Kita recommended we take a slow pace, not from fear of Futari’s wrath if she wakes up, but to allow her to get some beauty sleep.

I shook my head in frustration. “I’m sorry, Kita...”

She tilted her head. “Why? I enjoyed taking care of her!”

My eyes darted to the concrete beneath us. “No... I’m sorry about Nijika-chan. I think she’s upset at me .”

Kita raised an eyebrow. “Why would she ever be mad at you?”

“She told me she felt like we were growing apart last week. I promised her that I’d talk to her a lot more, but I was drained after everything that happened at karaoke...”

Kita thought for a few moments before answering in a soft tone, still trying not to disturb Futari’s slumber. “It’s not your fault, Hitori. Relationships are supposed to be natural. Even though you promised to do more with her, she didn’t give you nearly enough time! Is that really something to be sorry for?”

I shook my head. “You’re right, I’ll do my best to remedy this. I’ll spend a lot of time with her when we go out as a band.”

Kita slowed down and lowered her head. “Oh, okay... that’ll be good...”

Those words hurt to say, too. I’d love to spend all my time with Kita in a city like Bunkyo.

I quickly sprinted in front of her and flashed her a grin. “But Kita, I’ll never be sorry about spending time with you! Let’s keep doing more and more stuff together!”

She started to skip towards me and smiled. “Yes! There’s a lot I want to do, too!”

Sadly, Kita didn’t account for the little girl sleeping on her back. We both remembered once we heard Futari start to shuffle around.

It’s going to be a difficult walk home. -.-

Chapter Text

December 18th, 3 days before the performance.

It was another slow lunch break at school. Nowadays, Kita and I play around during our breaks instead of practicing, but there are still days like these when we’re both tired, our emotions reflecting the surroundings. The weak sunlight enters our little corner and highlights the dust particles drifting in the air, resembling the snow that falls outside.

Kita played a little melody on her guitar after successfully tuning it herself. She looked off to the side. “Is it too late to fix things with Nijika before our performance? I wanted us to be a proper band up there…”

I drooped my head. “It’s not even like she’s mad at me anymore, but I can still feel the distance that wasn’t between us before...”

It’s not my fault she’s jealous of my friendship with Kita. Sure, Nijika was my first real friend, but that didn’t mean that she’d be the one I grew closest to.

I tried as best I could to amend things on our trip to Bunkyo, but was ultimately unsuccessful. I’ve done all I could, at this point…

Twisting one of my guitar’s pegs and strumming the string, I spoke. “Did I do anything wrong back then? I tried everything .”

Kita reached over her guitar and placed her hand on my cheek, which aptly began to warm up from the contact. “No, Hitori, you didn’t do anything wrong. Let’s just hope that Ryo-senpai can cheer her up from now on.”

I nodded, and she retracted her hand. It was frustrating that it’s been this long without anything changing. If only I had been more direct and confident, I could have made a difference.

My eyes weakly brought themselves to Kita. Nowadays, I’m pretty content with my feelings for her. We go out sometimes, but we’ve never taken the next step. She still thinks that I’m just a really close friend. Since she hasn’t taken any initiative, I’m beginning to doubt she feels any sort of special way towards me. Especially since that moment in the garden...

The fingers on my left hand furled around my guitar’s neck. Would we still be a band if we didn’t plan our performance so far in advance? On that day, the day we all went out to Bunkyo, everything took a turn for the worse.

_______________________

________

_

Nijika jolted. “R-Ryo! Give me my bag back!”

Ryo utilized her height to hold Nijika’s handbag as high as possible. “You won’t need it until we get off the train anyways. Why do you want it?”

The drummer stomped on the ground. “Because it has everything in it! What if you’re too careless and let something get stolen?!”

Kita and I stood off to the side, being content with our roles as spectators. That was what we were until Ryo passed the bag over to Kita.

“Here you go, Ikuyo. Maybe Nijika will trust you more.”

Nijika switched her attention to Kita and began approaching her with cat eyes and twisting fingers.

Kita began to toss the bag between her hands, shaken by her sudden involvement. “H-Huh? Wh-What!? Hitori, you take it!”

 I caught the bag and froze ice cold. Nijika stopped approaching us playfully and stood still.

...

I blindly stuck her precious bag to the front of me and looked off to the side. “H-Here!” >.<

The bag was forcefully ripped from my hands. None of us made a sound, and the train shook a little.

Kita quietly coughed. “H-How about we find somewhere to sit? It’ll be uncomfortable to stand the entire trip over to Bunkyo...”

After a bit of searching, we found a row of seats on the train that we could cram together on. The order of us was Nijika, Ryo, Me, and Kita. Sometimes the train would shake a little and bump us into each other, but these random brushes against Kita’s body weren’t enough to soothe my mind from everything else surrounding this trip...

We got off the train at Bunkyo Station and ran into the city, amazed by our new surroundings. Kita placed a straight hand against her forehead, acting as a visor against the sun. “Wow! There are so many people here! I wonder if they have an accent over here?”

My feet began to melt. This- this isn’t the Kita I fell for! Right now, she’s in super extrovert mode!

I scooted over to Ryo and whispered in her ear, “Th-There’s a lot of people here…”

Ryo took a few steps away from me and looked at me from head to toe, her eyebrow rising. “You look like one of them.”

U-Uwah! My heart thumped. I totally forgot that I’m not in my tracksuit today!

Ryo was pretty casual, wearing a heavy green long-sleeve top and darker green sweatpants. Even though I wasn’t dressed much better, she’d never seen me in anything other than my tracksuit. I tugged at my cream-colored hoodie, which was a little baggy, so it felt nice on me. Its loose fit matched my very long, dark navy skirt.

Ryo and I caught up to the two extroverts, who were trying to discuss where to go. Before I joined in their conversation, I analyzed their outfits.

Nijika was wearing a green varsity jacket, her red ribbon tied around her upper left arm. Around her waist and down to her knees was a flowy mustard chino skirt. Her black sneakers complimented the black accents of her varsity jacket.

It was hard to keep focus on Kita because of how stylish she dressed herself... She had an open hoodie that was colored many different shades of coral. Its opening revealed a white T-shirt and a small denim skirt. I can’t believe she’s wearing something like that with how frigid it’s getting... T_T

“...so Hitori, the shrine or the garden first?”

Hearing my name snapped me back to the present, and didn’t allow me to gush over Kita’s short black boots.

Even though I didn’t have much context to the dilemma, I awkwardly replied. “L-Let’s go to the shrine!”

Everyone else nodded their heads, and we made our way over. I bumped my fist in the air. This is perfect! I can make a prayer that hopefully lets me get back on Nijika’s good side. Then I can spend the rest of my time with Kita on this trip!!!

We made our way to the shrine, and Kita filled me in on the details since she knows how often I space out.

Her fingers were placed under her cheek in a thinking pose, “It’s called Yushima Tenmangu. It’s known for its plum blossoms that bloom in the winter. I don’t think we’ll see them right now, but when we perform in December, we can come back and check them out!”

I nodded, “I bet they look beautiful!”

She closed her eyes and smiled. “Speaking of shrines, we need to visit one for New Year's! Do you have a kimono, Hitori-chan?”

My heart skipped a beat, and I looked to the ground in shame. “I-I’ll have one by then…”

Kita gave me a little “Yay!” and continued walking.

Still matching her pace, I got lost in my head. I’m getting excited because I’m with Kita… Nijika is walking with Ryo behind us. She probably sees us having a good time in front of her…

Kita tugged at my sleeve and spoke in a low voice. “Hitori, shouldn’t you be spending more time with Ijichi-senpai? That’s our main goal of this trip…”

I looked to the ground. It’s like she’s reading my mind. Kita noticed the same dilemma as me. Maybe this is being really selfish, but just for a little longer, I want to walk with her...

I smiled at her. “I can do that when we get to the garden! Let’s enjoy this part of the trip together!”

She looked worried for a moment, but then she nodded. “Okay, Hitori!”

Even though we chose to stick together a while longer, there was no conversation between us. I gulped. A-Am I really skipping on time with Nijika just to do nothing with Kita?

Luckily, Kita started to talk to me. “So you don’t own any kimonos at all ?”

I waved my hands in front of me. “N-No… I used to when I was younger, but now my family doesn’t mind spending our holidays together at home, so we don’t need kimonos to go out.”

Kita stared into the air. “That’s a shame. Well if we do go out for the new year, you’re going to need one! We can go out for a festival and everything!”

Our group found our way to the shrine ground. Looking around brought me some questions, “Are the festivals all hosted in places like these?”

She shook her head. “No, even though this shrine is big enough to host a festival. There’s a lamp festival scheduled near Starry that’s in a park, actually. We need to get Ryo-senpai and Ijichi-senpai on board to go!”

I nodded, and before I could ask my next question about the giant cow statue, we could see Ryo sprinting over to it.

Nijika, Kita, and I shortly chased after her. Nijika ran the quickest, wrapped her arms around Ryo, and held her back from going further. “Ryo! Y-You can’t touch that!”

Ryo squirmed and spoke in between exhausted breaths. “I-I love cows! I want this sculpture!”

Kita playfully sighed. “Your parents are rich enough to buy you one, you don’t need this one…”

Ryo looked back from Nijika’s embrace. “But this one is holy! If it’s at my house, it’ll become a holy place of worship, and we won’t have to pay taxes!”

Nijika’s grip tightened as Ryo tugged more, which made her face contort. “Y-You don’t pay rent anyways! And you spend half of your time at my place too! Why don’t we put the sculpture at Starry instead?”

Kita started to panic. “Ijichi-senpai! Not you too!”

I solemnly smiled off to the side. This is how it should be… the bantering feels like how it used to be. But if I jump in, Nijika would just get moody and everything would be ruined because of me...

Still..! I can see Kita making an effort to be friendly with Nijika, so I need to do the same!

I took a few shaky steps forward. “S-Starry is already holy enough for us. I agree, it should be at Ryo-san’s house.”

I cringed immediately. That was terrible! Why did I try to join in like that!?

Nijika’s face immediately blanked from my absurd comment and slowly formed a grimace. “H-Heh. Good one.”

My face dried and wrinkled so much, I couldn’t even cry from the pain of embarrassment.  I-I can’t match her energy like I can with Kita…!

Ryo broke free from Nijika’s grasp but didn’t advance towards the cow statue. She bluntly spoke to us like she wasn’t the one who caused all of the excitement. “Are we gonna pray or what?”

Kita placed her hands on Ryo’s back and started walking towards the main part of the shrine with her. “Good idea, Ryo-senpai!”

Is she doing this to isolate me and Nijika? I know Kita doesn’t have any feelings for Ryo anymore, but seeing them together still doesn’t make me feel good... 

I turned toward Nijika as robotically as a nutcracker in stop-motion animation. “W-We should follow them!”

Nijika only responded with a blank stare.

Wh-Wha!? She’s treating me even colder than she treats Kikuri when she wanders into Starry drunk!

She closed her eyes and gave me a small nod. “Okay, let’s go.”

We didn’t talk much on our way over, she didn’t seem very willing to conversate. That means… it’s all up to me!

I started to talk my head off. “Kita told me about a lantern festival that’s going to be held for the new year. Do you wanna go? It’ll be just like today!”

“Oh, so you two want to include us for once?” Nijika asked, not even looking at me.

A lump built in my throat. She-She’s not wrong...

I grabbed onto my left arm with my right hand. “You know… it’s not like we’re trying to spend time away from the band. You and Ryo-san gave good reasons to dodge the trip to the mall, and Kita’s meltdown before karaoke kind of forced only me to go with her, you also encouraged me to do that...”

Nijika crossed her arms. “I also told you to tell me how it went. But you never got back to me, instead, you got together with Kita-chan the next day and brought your little sister over to Starry!”

As soon as I opened my mouth to defend myself, her body quivered and her breaths became rough.

I-I can’t fire back...

We finally got sight of Ryo and Kita at the main shrine. Nijika quickly ran over to Ryo’s side.

Kita noticed Nijika leaning into Ryo and hastily approached me. She looked at me with concern. “Hitori, did you say something bad?”

Why does she expect me to be the one who messed it all up? Because I’m bad at talking to anyone who’s not her?

With a tint of frustration in my voice, I shook my head. “N-No. I wanted to talk things through, and she got upset about it. How could I even change how she responded?”

She began to rub my back. “I-I don’t know, tell me how it all went down.”

Ryo walked past us, with Nijika to her side that we couldn’t see. Ryo’s brow was furrowed, and unlike usual, she looked worried. “After you guys pray, come over to the garden, okay? Feel free to take your time. Remember to search Koishikawa Korakuen Garden on your phone.”

Kita nodded. “Yes, Ryo-senpai.”

 As Ryo walked away, we could hear her calmly whispering to Nijika in a soothing voice, calming her down.

I ended up praying for our band to be happy.

Kita looked off to the side. “Yeah, you didn’t do anything wrong.”

Each heavy step made a cracking sound in the gravel beneath us.

The central lake of the garden was beautiful. It reflected the strong, red color of the leaves that the trees carried in November.

Mesmerized by the lake’s beautiful image, I continued looking at it as I spoke to her. “I don’t think I’ll be able to reason with her at all…”

Kita’s voice was quiet. “I-I’ll try. I have to try...”

I began to slow down. “Y-You don’t have to! You’ve done enough already! It’s between me and her only, I don’t want you to intervene!”

The path led us onto a small bridge over a creak of the lake that bled into the land. After ignoring my pleading, Kita turned around and faced me. The bridge was a small archway, and its main elevating point in the middle separated us.

Kita looked off to the side. “Hitori... I did something… I... signed up for something…”

My heart fell into my stomach. Wha- What is she talking about?

No… I don’t want to have an issue with Kita too, what’s with this secrecy?

She continued to talk, “I-I don’t want to tell you what it is until we solve this whole problem with Ijichi-senpai, though…”

No, no..!

I rushed over to Kita and tightly held her sleeve with my right hand. “Y-You can tell me, Kita! Don’t you remember our pinky promise!? We’re always going to be there for each other!”

Kita wrapped her hand around mine and brought me close, head on my shoulder. “D-Don’t worry, it’s not anything serious... I’m not leaving Japan, or signing with another band for anything. It’s… an experience I want to do with you. I just don’t want to give you any extra stress on top of everything with her…”

My eyes began to tear up. This is much, much more worrying than if you hadn’t told me at all..!

I covered her hand with my spare one and spoke with a whimper. “W-Will you st-still tell me even if the situation doesn’t get any better?”

She nodded and dropped her hand covering mine. “I-I’m sorry, Hitori… I know I-I didn’t tell you anything, b-but I’d feel much worse if I hid it completely. I-I promise it’s nothing bad, and I’d never hide it from you completely... I-I’m selfish, I know..”

I… still don’t like this one bit. But if it gives Kita peace of mind, then I’ll tolerate it…

I let go of her sleeve and tried my best to sound unaffected. “Oh-Okay.. I-I agree then, go and help out Nijika-chan!”

Kita meekly nodded. “Okay.”

We continued walking to each other’s sides but were quiet until we met up with Ryo and Nijika sitting at a park bench.

My eyes lit up when I saw Ryo. It’ll be such a breath of fresh air to talk to her! We haven’t interacted much this whole trip, and she’s the only Kessoku Band member I don’t have any tension with! Ryo Yamada, my savior!

...is what I was thinking, until we started walking around the park with each other.

Ryo picked a leaf from a nearby bush and stuck it in her mouth. “Hm, I say seven out of ten. Nothing’s beaten Enoshima yet, though this is certainly better than Shimokitazawa’s peasant flavor. The texture is excellent too.”

Is… is this what she did to cool Nijika down!? She seemed much better by the time Kita and I caught up to them, so Ryo obviously did something to soothe her. No way it was just eating though…!

I coughed. “Ryo-san, we need to talk about the elephant in the room. Nij-”

“Ikuyo? You and Ikuyo?”

T-Telepathic connection weakened!

Ryo ducked down to get a herb from the ground and continued walking.

I’m… in shock. Does she not want to talk about Nijika? Or did Nijika send her off to pry on Kita and I’s relationship, like I did with Kita? O_O

She crunched for a bit before speaking again. “Bocchi. Even I’ve noticed that you two have been spending a lot of time together…”

N-Not good! Does she know I have a crush on Kita?

Ryo looked to the side. “It would be impossible to not notice. She won’t shut up about you.”

I flushed red. Sh-She talks about me?

In my panic, I hastily responded without thinking twice. “Uh.. W-We’ve just become great friends! Isn’t it natural for friends to spend time with each other?”

She looked forward as she walked, almost as if I wasn’t even next to her while she spoke to me. “You also change when you’re around her. You’re much more confident. That’s good.”

I cupped my hands together and brought them down to my waist. There’s no point in trying to get her to change topics. I don’t know what she’s getting at, trying to bring this up instead of Nijka...

She offered me a leaf. “Even though I didn’t want her constantly at my side, I still miss Ikuyo’s attention sometimes. Bocchi, how do you think Nijika feels?”

Nijka feels disregarded, I know that... but I’ve tried my best to show I still want us to be a band together, even if I’m closest to Kita. But since its her biggest dream, I’m sure that she can’t shake off the fear of a rift building between the guitarists and everyone else.

H-How can I fix something like this? Do I tell her how I really feel about Kita? That’ll explain why we aren’t dodging practices for the sake of it...

I took the leaf from Ryo and put it in my hoodie’s big pocket. “Thank you, but I’m not going to eat this. We’re about to have lunch, after all.”

Ryo shrugged her shoulders. “Okay, more for me then. You’re missing out, Bocchi.”

She attempted to catch a leaf being carried by the autumn breeze, but missed, flailing her arms around instead.

I couldn’t help but giggle, relieved to be around someone who didn’t associate with the surrounding drama. I caught one for Ryo and handed it to her, “Thank you.”

My walk with Ryo was like the calm eye of a storm. Right now, the storm was back in full motion at our lunch. We chose to eat at a small family-owned restaurant.

The four of us sat around a tiny, circular wooden table. To my left was Nijika and to my right was Kita. Across from me was Ryo.

None of us thought twice or made small talk about our orders. Everyone had tired eyes except for Ryo, who may as well have been staring into the void like usual.

When our food arrived, she coughed and made a sly grin. “Bocchi and I already had appetizers.”

My ahoge spun in a circle. “U-Uwah!? Only you ate those leaves!”

Nijika turned towards me. “You didn’t? How rude. Gifts from Ryo are rare…”

She grinned a bit. “...because she has no money to buy them, after all.”

Ryo playfully slapped her hands on the table and began to rant, calling herself a saver instead of a spender.

...But I didn’t listen to any of that. She... she looked at me and made a joke! She’s in a better mood! Kita must have said something that fixed everything!

I turned my head towards Kita to give her a warm smile, but she was looking down at the table.

Now what’s the issue?

Our lunch continued the same way, with Kita being the quietest one in the group.

As we made our way to our final destination, Tokyo Dome City Attractions, I made sure to walk next to Kita the whole way and check up on her. Ryo and Nijika were leading us over there, as Kita and I were walking quite slowly.

My eyes shifted, not knowing whether to focus on our bandmates leading us, our uncharted environment, or the pretty girl next to me. “Wh-What did you tell Nijika-chan? She seemed much friendlier with me at the restaurant.”

Kita closed her eyes, her cheeks growing a little red. “I... just told her the truth. How I feel about the situation, how I feel about you, that’s all.”

I don’t know how that would have fixed things so well, but whatever.

“H-How come you were so quiet at the table? I was worried about you.”

She opened her eyes and looked away. “Our talk at the gardens is still bothering me… promise you’re not upset?”

I’d rather just not think about it at all.

I nodded. “No, I’m not, Kita. As long as you promise to tell me what it is eventually.”

She nodded, her face brightening a little. “Of course!”

Kita grabbed my arm and pointed toward our destination. “I can’t believe it’s free to enter! There’s so much we can do here!”

I heated up. “Yeah.”

There was a lot to look at. Rollercoasters buzzed around us, and the Big O Ferris wheel couldn’t be ignored. Riding that with Kita and looking at the Tokyo skyline would be amazing. ^-^

One person in our group had a big issue, though. Money.

Ryo mumbled on Nijika’s shoulder. “It’s free to enter, but everything costs money to ride? What’s the point of that?”

Nijika whined. “You’re heavy! Get off of me!”

Kita looked down at the ground with swirly eyes. “I wanted to ride the Ferris wheel with everyone! Even if we borrowed Ryo some money, we wouldn’t be able to do much else after the lunch expenses…”

Nijika wrapped her arm around my shoulder and smiled. “I wanted to go on it alone with Bocchi-chan anyway. How about you guys find something we can all do after we ride it?”

Hm- Wha- What!?

Kita stared at us for a moment before crossing her arms and nodding. “Okay. Ryo-senpai and I will find something she can afford.”

Nijika and I made our way to the Big O. Something about this doesn’t feel right. Everything between us should’ve been fixed, right? Kita did it all...

We paid and stepped into the orange Ferris wheel cabin. It was roomy, but if the whole band had gone in together, we would have all been cramped next to each other.

It went up, and up, and up without any words exchanged between the two of us. We just sat across from each other and looked out the window.

Why… would she invite me here? She really just wanted to ride this together?

It went higher and higher, occasionally stopping in place to let its passengers enjoy the view…

As our cabin almost reached the top of the Ferris wheel’s rotation, it suddenly halted and shook. Nijika let out a cough and tapped the side of the interior.

“There’s a karaoke machine built into this, huh? Is it similar to the one you and Kita-chan used?”

The cabin began to move again and raised us higher above the ground. She- She isn’t okay with me, is she?

I shakily nodded and grabbed the wired microphone from the side of the cabin. “K-Kind of! A-And the microphone is s-similar too!”

Her Dorito spun around once and then stayed in place.

The cabin reached the top of the rotation and stopped itself.

I glanced up at Nijika, who was crossing her arms and looking towards the cabin’s metal bottom, not even at me or the amazing sights around us.

“I can’t believe you’d rather act like everything’s normal instead of apologizing to me.”