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“Satoru, you can’t. I understand that you’re frustrated, but let’s take a moment to calm down and think this through,” Nanami pleads with Gojo. The tone of voice he’s speaking in would sound uninterested coming from anyone else, but for someone as stoic as Nanami, he might as well be begging on his knees on the floor. It’s no use. Their relationship could best be summed up as ‘unstoppable force meets immovable object’, and right now Gojo is winning that particular competition.
“I don’t have a moment, Kento. I have to kill them,” Gojo argues, shaking his head. It’s not like he’s ever been explicitly against slaughtering the higher-ups, but right now he’s angrier than Nanami has ever seen him. He’d been mad enough when Yuuta was under threat of execution. It’d been worse when they tried to pull the same crap with another kid. But now, they’ve actually managed to get Yuuji killed while Gojo was away, and Nanami’s not sure he can keep his partner’s wrath under control this time. It’s justified, the anger and desire for vengeance is so justified, but Nanami knows it wouldn’t change anything if Gojo went on a rampage right now. It’d just make things worse.
“I know, and I agree that they’re the scum of the earth and deserve to die, but Satoru, you have to calm down, or…” Nanami stops for a moment, coming up empty. There’s a million reasons why they need to take a moment and recoup and actually think about what can be done without putting the rest of the kids in danger, but none of them are forming right in his mouth. He’s too emotional.
“Or? Or what? Let’s be honest with ourselves, here, you can’t tell me shit, Kento. I’m the strongest , I’m the fucking honored one and nobody can stop me from killing the bastards who killed my student, alright?” Gojo snarls, angry. Nanami freezes, and Gojo knows he fucked up, but there’s no putting the words back into his mouth. A cold silence lands into the room.
“Alright. I’m sorry for presuming to speak to you, Gojo-sama, I should’ve known a mere mortal has no business breathing your air,” Nanami bites out. There’s venom in his words, the stinging wound Gojo’s words left in his heart clearly on display. It’s no secret that Nanami feels inadequate to be in this relationship sometimes, considering Gojo is practically a god. He usually knows better than to throw the fact around. Even if Nanami has a healthy sense of self worth, it’s hard to compare to Gojo’s objective strength, talent and sheer value as a sorcerer.
“I’m sorry, Kento, that’s not- I don’t mean that, you know I don’t, baby,” Gojo pleads, panic starting to take over instead of the fury that’d settled into his stomach since the moment he heard what happened with Yuuji. He doesn’t think he would’ve felt bad if he’d killed the higher-ups in his rage, but hurting his partner’s feelings is different. It doesn’t matter how emotional and out of control Gojo feels, he should know better than to ever direct that towards Nanami.
“No, you don’t get to call me baby after that. But you’re damn right you better not mean it. I know you’re angry, and I’m fucking angry too, and we cannot risk the other kids just because we’re emotional, Gojo. And you cannot treat me like I’m lesser than you because of it,” Nanami scolds Gojo. He knows precisely how much being reduced to his lineage, to his powers, hurts the other man. It’s only right after he used the weight of that same name to hurt Nanami.
“I know. You’re right, I’m sorry, Kento. I just- I can’t live with myself like this, I can’t. I was supposed to keep him safe. I thought I did. And now he’s…” Gojo’s words fade out, unable to finish his sentence. There’s tears in his eyes and he’s taking his breath in big gulps, like he’s starving for oxygen. Nanami lets out a tired, frustrated sigh and closes the distance between them.
“I know, Satoru. It’s not your fault. And I’m very, very sorry that any of this happened. But we’ll figure it out, alright? I’ll come back to jujutsu, if that’s what it takes. You don’t have to protect the kids by yourself, okay?” Nanami reassures Gojo softly, wrapping the taller man into his embrace. Even if his words hurt, Nanami understands where they came from. Gojo’s title is a heavy mantle. Being the strongest means feeling personally responsible for everything, all the time, because the fact is that if he’d been in the right place at the right time, he could’ve prevented any tragedy. It’s no wonder he’d break sometimes.
Gojo just nods, crying quietly into Nanami’s shoulder. He doesn’t quite process the implications of it in the moment, but Nanami wagers he’ll be in for quite the conversation once Gojo calms down and he realizes what’s been said. Coming out of retirement has never been an option he’s seriously discussed with Gojo, but he knows that now is the time for it. Being a salaryman isn’t any less soul-draining than sorcery, anyway, and watching his partner break himself into pieces from afar has never been easy on him. Maybe it’ll feel at least a little bit easier if he can take a portion of the burden for himself.