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"You can't even write it, Mike," Mike's stomach dropped as El picked up a pile of letters from the foot of her bed. "From Mike, from Mike, from, from, from," She punctuated each word by throwing a sheet of paper. "Just say it! Tell me you love me!" Her voice was raw as she shouted. Tears sat in her eyes. Mike wished he wanted to wipe them away as they dropped; to kiss her.
'Just say it,' he echoed in his mind. 'Say it and you'll be normal. And it'll all go away. Say it and you won't be such a dirty--"
He discerned a warm teardrop from his eye as he blinked. "I--" He choked on a sob, his voice cracking then shattering. "I can't. I'm sorry," He covered his mouth to cover hiccups and whimpers that passed his lips without his permission. He lifted one of his legs and wedged it in between the bed frame and mattress, curling into himself, hiding.
"Mike," He hears El say through the protection of his folded arms that he had wrapped around his head. The bed sinks next to him and he feels arms wrapped around him, a head on his shoulder. "I am sorry. I should not have yelled,"
"It wasn't that," He sniffed.
"Tell me," She pulls Mike closer from the opposing side.
"I'm gay." He says aloud for the first time. "Fuck, you probably don't know what that means, uhm," He laughs wetly, smearing tears across his face with the back of his hand. "I like boys the way I should be liking you,"
"Okay," El nods, processing the words, the situation seeming to click. "Why is that making you sad?"
"I don't know if it's okay to like boys. Morally, I mean,"
"But I like boys?" El rubs circles into his shoulder as she inquires.
"Yeah, but if two boys like each other, people will give you a hard time,"
"Mouth breathers," El smiles, Mike joining her. "Do you like Will that way?"
"Uhm, no," Mike lies. Despite her seemingly being okay with him being queer, she probably would mind him and Will, her ex and brother, being together.
"Mike," She says. "Friends don't lie,"
He should've known she'd be perceptive of her boyfriend's crush on her brother. "Okay, yeah," He sighs.
"I thought so," She interlocked their fingers, rubbing her thumb across Mike's pale skin soothingly. "We'll still be friends,"
Mike felt fresh hot tears brewing in his eyes. "I love you, platonically,"
El smiled joyfully like the beam of sunshine she is. "I love you 'plantonicly', too,"