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To say that Kade was fucking furious was the understatement of the century.
He had stormed into the Chill Zone room guns blazing, ready to curse out Holly for all that she’s worth only to find her sitting on one of the couches completely ignoring him. New fury bubbled up in him and he grabbed the laptop from her lap and slammed it closed, tossing it to the side.
“Holly I swear to fuck,”
Kade stopped.
Holly was still sitting the same way, not so much as glancing up at him let alone snapping at him for touching her computer.
She breathed in, out, in, out.
Kade waved a hand in front of Holly’s face but when she didn’t so much as blink, his anger melted away, replaced instead with abject concern.
“Holly? Holls, you okay?”
He knelt fully in front of his sister, taking her hands into his own.
“Holly, squeeze my hands if you can hear me.”
Kade waited for the words to reach her, then waited even longer for her to respond, but in truth he was already counting. Every second that passed was a second longer that Holly’s body was rebelling against her and he needed to know exactly how long she was under for.
“I’m right here,” Kade promised. “You’re safe. You’re okay, Holls, you’re okay.”
Holly’s chin jutted up a little, her eyes wide, and Kade gently guided her from the couch onto the ground. He brought one of the pillows down with them too, placing it beneath her head as Holly’s arm locked up then loosened then locked up again.
He soothed her through it best he could, brushing the hair from Holly’s face as the seizure came into full effect. Holly’s arm snapped out but Kade kept it from hitting the coffee table next to them, talking to her gently even as her back arched.
When Holly tried to go onto her back fully, Kade kept her on her side.
“That’s it, that’s it, you’re okay, you’re okay Holls, I’m right here.”
With every passing moment, every horrid choking sound she made, Kade’s heart ached. It has been six months since her last episode and he had started foolishly hoping that the newest medications she had been put onto had been the right combination. Fuck, it might still be the right combination but the idea of this being Holly’s new base line instead of being permanently seizure free hurt his very soul.
This was his baby sister, he was meant to be able to protect her but all he could do right now was make sure that she stayed on her side while he timed the seizure.
He had been so angry with her. Kade had been ready to tear her to pieces for how she had embarrassed him in front of Julius but now it all made sense. Her irritation hadn’t been because she was jealous he was spending time with Julius instead of her, it had been a precursor to this seizure, and Kade had just been too stupid to realise it.
“I’m here Holly, I’m right here, everything’s going to be okay…”
Holly’s whole body shuddered as a particularly strong spasm took over her. Kade ran fingers through her hair, making sure to keep talking to her, making sure that at no point did she feel like she was alone in this.
She will never again be alone, not if Kade had anything to say about it. Holly was his sister, and they hadn’t needed that damn piece of paper to prove it even if they had hung it proudly together right alongside Kade’s own adoption certificate.
Kade didn’t know why he was thinking of those certificates right now, but as Holly gave off another god awful choke Kade suddenly wanted to hold those precious papers close to his chest.
Yes, Holly could drive him insane. She could be head strong and irritating and when he had first heard that she had applied for the same uni course that he had, Kade had been frustrated that his first real experience with independence had been taken from him.
But Holly had been the one to be Kade’s rock these last few weeks. She kept him on top of homework, but she also kept him on his toes in Mario Kart because there is no way in fuck he was going to keep losing to her so badly.
Holly was his sister and she was seizing again and it was tearing Kade apart.
“Shh, you’re okay, you’re okay Holls…”
After a particularly strong jolt, her muscles seemed to at last relax.
Kade glanced down at his watch, confirming that the seizure was well under her five minute limit. With no sign of injuries either, that meant that Holly wouldn’t need to go into the hospital but he was still going to have to keep an eye on her and make sure she was really okay.
Their parents had been very clear with Kade on Holly’s management plan, just like how they had been very clear with Holly about how Kade’s dissociative and panic episodes can be but in truth neither of them had had to be sat down like that.
They knew what the other needed, and right now as Holly’s eyes flickered Kade knew that she was going to need time and reassurance. All of a sudden Holly was scrambling up but Kade eased her back down to the ground, talking to her softly even as her wide confused eyes looked all around them.
“You’re safe.” He promised.
Holly shrunk away from him but Kade didn’t take it to heart.
“It’s just me, it’s Kade.”
She blinked again, but it was almost like a wince, either because she was struggling to process his words or because her head was hurting.
“Everything’s okay,” Kade said. “You’ve just had another seizure but you’re okay.”
Holly tried to sit again and while Kade let her this time, he kept close by in case she overbalanced or slipped into another episode.
“Holly,” Kade said.
She hummed but her gaze and attention were elsewhere.
“Holls,” He tried again. “Are you back with me?”
“With me…” She echoed.
Her voice was quiet, but then she finally looked straight at Kade and as he watched some of the confusion lifted though she was left looking exhausted.
“With me.” She said again.
Maybe her confusion hadn’t eased after all because she was repeating words. It wasn’t all that abnormal for her to do that after a seizure but Kade couldn’t help but worry all the same.
“You stayed with me.” Holly said.
It was Kade’s turn to blink with confusion.
“Of course I did.” He said.
Holly’s smile was a little strained but it warmed his heart all the same. She went to stand again but her arms shook too much as she tried to push herself up and Kade had no more confidence in her legs ability to take her weight just yet.
Realising she was going to move regardless of what Kade thought, he helped her onto the couch instead of letting her fully stand and walk.
Holly blinked slowly, still a little out of it, and when her hand reached out Kade took it into his own and squeezed it tightly.
“Kade?”
“Yeah?”
“Um…”
“We’re in the Chill Zone.” Kade said. “No one else is here.”
Holly hummed.
“You good?” Kade asked.
She hummed again, then as if realising that he was worried she gave him a smile that was almost a grimace. Holly let it drop, her eyes hollow and exhausted.
“Holls.”
“I’m fine.” She mumbled. “Just… You know…”
“Feeling like shit?”
This time her smile was genuine.
Kade came up onto the couch next to her. He tugged her up against him, making sure she was comfortable. But Holly didn’t quite relax into his embrace, her still a little unfocused gaze on the laptop that was on the couch next to them.
“I need to do my essay…” Holly whispered.
“Do it later.” Kade said.
“I need to do my essay.” She repeated. “I… I need to do it.”
“Holly,” Kade said, holding her a little closer. “You had a seizure. You need to rest.”
Holly shifted, looking straight up at him.
“You went to work with appendicitis.” She said.
“That was different.”
Holly blinked slowly.
“It was different.” Kade insisted. “And in my defence, I… Don’t really have a defence. Actually, I do! In my defence, I can just write your essay for your where as you couldn’t have taken over my shift!”
“I need to do my essay,” Holly said.
Just when Kade was worried that she was repeating words again and might very well slip into another episode, she continued.
“Because if you do it for me,” Holly said. “I’ll fucking fail.”
“Hah hah, very funny Holls, now take a nap idiot.”
Holly shifted around again until she was as comfortable as possible. Kade wished he had a blanket to keep her warm, but in they were too far away from the apartment and he doubted that Holly would appreciate if he drags over a bean bag as a blanket.
“I’m sorry.” Holly said quietly.
“Holls you know you don’t have to-“
“About Julius.” She said.
“Oh.”
There was a quiet that passed over them. Just a little while ago, he had been furious with her, but now he could barely even remember what she had done to embarrass him so much in front of the perfect guy that was Julius Fraser.
“It’s fine.” Kade mumbled. “It’s not like he would ever like me anyway. You probably saved me back there honestly, knowing me I would have said something stupid eventually.”
“He likes you.” Holly said.
Kade scoffed, waiting for the insult or the twist but none came. Holly breathed in deep, then out, then in again, before it levelled out completely as she drifted off. Kade held his sister a little closer, pressing a kiss to the top of his head.
While he would have preferred to never see her go through another seizure, he was beyond glad that he had been right there with her. Later, Kade would need to call their parents about it, but for now he would simply let her sleep as long as she needed to, knowing full well that his adopted sister would do the same for him.